After several moments went by, Meredith opened her mouth to speak. She forced herself to form words and looked Kathy directly in the eyes.

"Okay," Meredith began. "If that's what you really want me to do, I will leave Derek. If our friendship is going to suffer that much, then I will try to pretend that it never happened. I can assure you that it will be extremely hard for me, like you probably already know. But if our 12 year friendship means that I leave the man I truly and dearly love with all my heart and soul, then I will do it. For you." And with that Meredith got up and left, tears running freely from her eyes. She ran all the way home and up the stairs. She reached her room and collapsed onto her bed, like she had many, many times before. She buried her head in her pillow and let herself cry. She cried until she fell into a light and restless sleep a few hours later. At 12:23 Meredith heard a knock on her window. She opened her eyes when another sound echoed through the empty house. She peeled the covers back and went to the window. Derek. Crap. What was she gonna do? She went down stairs and headed through the laundry door to greet a hugely grinning Derek.

"What are you doing here? It's after midnight." Meredith said uneasily.

"I missed you." He replied as he leaned in for a kiss. Meredith turned her head at the last minute, so his lips collided with her cheek. He pulled back immediately sensing something was really wrong. He looked at her with an amount of care in his eyes as Meredith thought would never be possible for anyone. He didn't say anything. But his eyes asked the questions, and that made Meredith break down and cry. Derek remained silent as he held her close, letting her cry until she had no tears left.

"I…I need you to be with me," she started to say as he crying slowed. "But you can't be. I told Kathy that…that…" Meredith broke down in sobs again. Her body ached in places she never knew she had. The spot in her chest where her heart used to be was hollow. She couldn't support her weight anymore. She fell to the ground and placed her head in her hands. She had never cried this much in her life. Especially not in front of someone.

"What did you tell Kathy?" Derek finally spoke, softly as he brushed her face and kissed the top of her head while holding tightly to her waist.

Meredith took a deep breath and sat silently for a few moments before she opened her eyes and looked into Derek's deep blue pools.

"She asked me to, to, to," Meredith took another breath and told herself to calm down.

"To what?" Derek asked sweetly.

"ShetoldmethatifwestillwantedtobefriendsthatIhadtobreakupwithyou." Meredith said so fast Derek couldn't understand her.

"What?" he said as he rubbed her lower back gently.

Meredith took another deep breath. "I'm breaking up with you." Meredith said as she looked down again and began sobbing for the hundredth time that day.

Derek stood up and left Meredith on the damp ground. He stood above her with a confused and shocked look on his face. But the worst look made Meredith's heart shatter into thousands of pieces. It made her heart throb and a pain surged through her body. Derek began to cry. Tears began to stream from his eyes, before dying on his lips. The very lips that Meredith wished against all her power, all her strength, that she could kiss, that she could have pressed against hers all over again. She stood up, unable to control the obvious shakiness, not only in her voice, but also her entire body. She took a step toward Derek and Derek moved a step back.

"I…I…I don't understand."" He said as he shook head, unable to look into her green eyes that sparkled in the moonlight.

"Kathy, she told me, she told me that if I wanted to still be friends with her then I had to end it with you. And you, Derek, of all people know how much Kathy means to me. You know that I would never do anything that would harm our 12 year friendship." Meredith said, her voice reaching between high and low notes and volumes.

Derek dared himself to look into her eyes. They shone dramatically from the wet tears that stained her beautiful face. He held her gaze, and noticed that inside the red puffyness of her usually bright and full eyes, there was nothing. They were empty.

"You know me too. You have known me for 12 years too. What about hurting me? I love you" Derek said as he stared gently into her empty pools of green.

"And I love you too. So, so much. I hurt, I ache, in places that I never thought I had inside of me. There is an empty space in my chest, right here." she said as she held a hand to her heart. She wiped the tears from her eyes and took a deep breath before continuing. "But life goes on. You will find the right person and you will live happily together, but Kathy doesn't want to see us together, and I will listen to her, like she listens to me. Me and my rambling and drama." Meredith concluded with a loud sob. Derek's heart was hurting, breaking as he stood there and listened to her. Listened to the person he planned on spending the rest of his life with.

"But I have found the right person." Derek said as he took a step toward Meredith and another, before he reached out and wiped another tear from her eye. "You. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Meredith. I will never feel how I feel right now looking into your eyes. Even though they seem empty, they give me hope. Hope that you will come to your senses. You don't need Kathy if she is going to treat you like that. You will have me, you don't need her." He repeated as he took another step to close the space between them. He was just inches away from her mouth. Her shaky breath was leaving a cloud of hot steam in the cold, crisp air. Derek's breath was hot to her face. She leaned in a little bit as she directed her lips toward his. His lips parted slightly as he leant down, closer to hers. Their breaths danced together as tears streamed from their lightly closed eyes. Their lips a millimetre away from touching, Meredith stopped, before she moved back. One step, then two.

"Derek, I can't. It's not right. I made a promise to Kathy." Meredith explained as she took her third step backwards. He was intoxicating her, and she knew that a kiss wouldn't just stop at a kiss. "I have to go." She said as she turned on her heal and headed to the back door.

"Meredith." Derek called to her just before she entered the house. "Don't forget that I will always love you, even with my shattered heart."

A/N: I hated writing this chapter, but it had to be done. I don't know what I think of it, but I hope that you like it, even though reading my much loved reviews, I dont think anyone will enjoy my road I've taken in this chpater. Just think of it as a small obsticle. It'll b alright, It's MerDer we're talking about here. We all know that they live happily ever after. Sometimes it just takes a bit to get there is all. And dont forget, I LOVE REVIEWS!! Love to all my fans xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx