A/N: I hope you all had an amazing Christmas! I know mine was, loads of Twilight stuff =) As usual, I own nothing =( Thanks for all the amazing reviews so far, they're what keep me writing! Also, check out my new comedy, Vamps in Paris!

11. Sorry, I Couldn't Be Your Angel

I felt a cold hand touch my arm. "How do you feel Ray?" A sweet voice asked. I looked up to see Jasper's angelic face staring down at me. His normally golden eyes were still that dark black color and he had dark circles under his eyes, he looked extremely tired. His light hair was a mess and he was wearing his same clothes from the day before.

"I'm fine but what about you, you look like a mess Jazz!" I replied, grasping his ice cold hand. Jasper flinched but then relaxed his hand in mine.

"I was at the hospital all night with Carlisle, I was so worried about you, Ray this is all my fault."

"No, it isn't. I was being stupid, I shouldn't have even gone close to that ledge, I don't know what was going through my head."

"No, it is my fault. I shouldn't have let you lying there, bleeding for so long but Ray if only you knew, if there was some way that I could tell you. You're in here because you lost so much blood, not because of the fall." Jasper told me, his expression was a mix between worry and shame.

"Jasper, you listen to me. I've been a ticking time bomb, ready to go off at any moment. When I was on that ledge, I pondered what it would be like to fall, lightly and freefalling, ending everything, all of my pain right then and there. If anything you saved me, you've been saving me these past couple of weeks, right now I need you more then ever to save me from myself." I told him feeling tears form in my eyes. Jasper placed his cool hand on my cheek.

"That's what I like about you, you never see the wrong in me, you only see the right." He whispered, looking down.

"What wrong is there in you? If it's so wrong then why can't I see it?"

"It's no longer a simple game with you; you've turned something simple and innocent into a complication full of sin." He answered, removing his hand from my face.

"I think I know what you mean by complications."

"You see, it's just not a good idea for us to be together. You'll just get hurt again, a girl as good as you doesn't need this."

"That's not what I mean by complications Jazz. Yesterday, I don't know if I was hallucinating or what but I saw things. Some things that I thought were impossible. Things that I thought you only read of and dreamt of but never experienced in real life." I said, staring at him. Jasper got up abruptly and stood by the window, his fist was clenched.

"You were probably just seeing things, they say before death you experience many different visions." Jasper snapped, still staring out the window.

"No, I was awake at the time, Jasper will you please just listen to me! I know what I saw."

"What you saw was nothing Ray! Drop the subject!" He growled, his eyes turning a pitch black color as he turned to me. Right now he was my angry angel, ready to bring my death and take me to heaven. I was so terrified, I couldn't have moved if I wanted to, nor did I want to move.

"Jasper please. You grabbed a branch that seemed too big for a man of your stature, you dug into a cliff and you flew! You picked me up and we flew somehow back your house. You spoke of strange things with your family and Bella was in on it because she seemed to understand the situation." I croaked, trying to fight the crying as much as possible.

"You think we flew?" Jasper sneered.

"I know we did. What happened in the forest yesterday was pure magic. It's like what I'd read about in fairy tales but never thought to have experienced. Jasper, you are my white knight."

"No, I'm not your savior Ray, and no matter how hard you try, I will not tell you the truth of what happened yesterday." He spoke in a soft voice but yet so much anger was present.

"If Bella knows then I think I have a right to as well."

"Bella's situation is a different one."

"Why? Because it's Edward and not you? Is that what this is about? Do you actually have a thing for Bella? Are you just using me as some sick revenge?" I cried out, feeling my face turning red.

"If only it was that easy." Jasper answered, sitting down on my bed.

"How do I know if what you're feeling is real?" I asked.

"If it wasn't then it wouldn't pain me to do this." Jasper whispered, leaning in and softly kissing my lips. I felt a shock when his cold lips grazed my warm ones. Was this as good as hell got? Was my savior really going to be my dream breaker? Is it now that I should be running away and why was it that every moment with Jasper made it ten times more difficult to do so?

"Why does something that feels so good cause pain to you?" I asked, still crying.

"If you could see it through my eyes, you would understand that it causes me more pain then it would you. I have a secret. That is what's preventing us from being together Ray and unlike Edward, I'm not prepared for the responsibility that accompanies the risk of being involved with someone like you. I'm sorry I'm not the angel you think me to be." Jasper answered. He kissed me once more and then he briskly walked out of the hospital. The white room soon turned an inexplicable shade of grey. I let myself go, I went into hysterics. I was crying uncontrollably. Once again I was left alone, left to test my strength, to see how far I could be pushed until I fell off the edge again.

Bella sat in her living room, waiting for Edward's nightly arrival. The knock at the door brought her briskly to her feet, excited to see the face she unconditionally loved. Instead Bella opened the door to find Edward's brother, Jasper, staring down at her, looking as though the smallest thing would cause him to burst into tears.

"I can't do it Bella. She's much too fragile. I do feel a strong enough attraction to her and it pained me to do what I just did but I don't want her to have to be involved with our world. It's much too dangerous, I see the extremes that Edward goes to, to keep you safe and even sometimes he's taking a large risk, gambling with your life." Jasper admitted, pulling his pale white hands over his beautiful face.

"Jasper, I dunno, I mean are you sure-"

"Don't try to cover up for me Bella. I know that I can't do this and what I did to your cousin is just as bad, if not worse then what Seth did to her. She cried out to me how everyone who loved her abandons her and after I promised to never do that to her, look what I'm doing now."

"It's because you're scared." Bella whispered, however her tone was scared.

"I am not scared." Jasper said affirmatively, his dark, cold eyes staring down into Bella's warm brown ones.

"Yes, you are. I see in you what I saw in myself a year ago. I was denying myself of Edward because I was afraid. I wasn't afraid of who Edward was as much as I was afraid of love. I was afraid of feeling wanted, feeling that way towards another person. You don't want to admit it, but Jasper Whitlock, you are afraid." Bella told him.

"Then what should I do?" He asked, looking genuinely upset. "She calls me her angel, her savior. I can't be the one that saves her, I'm much too afraid of being the one that will bring her down."

"I think angels often come in disguise, sometimes the most special are dark on the outside."

"Bella, your cousin is an exceptional being, I wouldn't want to be the one to drain her life."

"Jasper, if you had enough control to bring her back while she was bleeding then that just proves right there where your morals stand!" Bella answered, feeling anger overcoming her.

"My morals. What morals would a hopeless cynic like myself have?"

"Clearly the right ones, you may not know it yet but you're falling for Ray."

"I know that I'm falling for Ray." Jasper whispered.

"Then jump in! So you might get a little wet, but isn't that what this life is about, taking chances."

"If you call it life."
"Jasper maybe your right, maybe you aren't Ray's angel but maybe she's yours."

"So what do you think I should do Bella?"

"Do what you think is right Jazz." She answered truthfully, smiling at him.

"I think I should make it official." Jasper answered, a small smile appearing on his face.

"I think that's a great idea."

"Thanks Bella. Excuse me, I must go find my angel before she leaves for heaven again." Jasper said, giving Bella a small bow before walking to his father's black Mercedes.

A/N: So this chapter I felt it took a lot of emotion to write, if you want, download the song Angry Angel by Imogen Heap, it's what inspired this chapter =)