Chapter 11

Year 3

Harry,

I wonder how many of these letters I'll end up writing. I wonder if ten years down the road, if I'll be sitting here at my desk, alone and writing to the man who still has my heart. I dearly hope not. I want to get over you; so badly. I want to be able to go on a date and not be comparing him to you the entire time. I want to go to Ron and Hermione's flat and not be eaten up with jealousy at their happy life with each other. But most of all, I still want you.

DAMN!

Why can't I get over you?!? It's been three years since you left. You haven't made any contact with me beyond the wedding fiasco and even then I could tell you wanted nothing to do with me. How can I still want you? Why do I still love you? It doesn't make any sense.

You probably can't tell by this letter, but I am getting better. I'm not constantly thinking of you. And I am trying to move on. I'm dating someone even. Dean Thomas. Ron isn't happy, but I doubt he will be happy with any of my boyfriends after you. No one else can measure up in his eyes.

Mine too.

Gah! Come on Ginny, get a grip!

Well, now I've officially gone off the deep end. I'm writing a letter and I talk to myself in it. Good grief.

Anyway, If there is any chance whatsoever that you get this, there isn't but still, you should know what is going on in the wizarding world. Lucious Malfoy got moved back to England. They got him locked up in Azbakban, but Dad's worried. Since they don't use dementors anymore, he thinks Malfoy can get out. I'm not worried; a reported from the daily prophet interviewed him, or tired to. It seems that Malfoy has gone completely mental. He kept saying "He's going to get me, I have to get him first!' over and over again. Does that sound like a killer to you? He's gone loopy. Maybe he should be friends with Lockheart. He's still confused as ever in St. Mungos. It's sad really.

In other completely un-related news; I was over at Mum and Dad's the other day and saw little Teddy. His grandmum was visiting Mum. She's so proud of that little guy. He's already showing some signs of magic at four! It's really rare. I'll bet he's going to be an extremely powerful wizard. It's a shame he won't know his godfather. He could learn so much from you.

Merlin Harry, I don't care if it's weak, I miss you. And I'm sorry about the wedding thing.

Ginny


Year 4

Harry James Potter,

This is going to be the last letter. I can't keep holding on to you. I've made up my mind. I'm moving on completely this time. I'm putting the locket in a package and sending it with this last letter. No one ever knew you gave it to me. So no one knew I still wore it everyday, until today. I have no idea where it will go, and I feel bad about that. I'm sure you spent a ton on it, and spent an insane amount of time on the charms. But I have to get rid of it. I sabotaged my relationship with Dean because of it.

He asked me to marry him today. The idiot. I started to hyperventilate, so I bent forward to put my head between my knees and your damn locket fell forward into my mouth! (I don't know why you are so obsessed with spit activated secret messages) I think I sopped breathing when I read your message.

I will always love you.

Damn it Harry! It gave me hope. And I told him no.

When I got home, I realized what I had done. Maybe you thought that when we were together, but I know you don't mean it anymore. So I have to get rid of it. I will be happy without you. I will someday. I have to be. And I honestly hope you can move on too. Maybe…perhaps you already have.

It's kind of weird, but maybe since this is my last letter I can share some things with you that I haven't ever shared. I remember growing up and hearing about the "Great Harry Potter". Mum and Dad told us about how you defeated Voldemort as a baby and how amazing and strong you were. I never thought I would ever meet such a person. I never thought I'd become friends with you, or even lovers. But, we did meet. We did become friends. We did.

I know some people think I just liked you because you were "The Chosen One", "The Boy Who Lived" and all those other insane names they gave you. But Harry, you have to know that wasn't true. I loved you for you. Not because you defeated Voldemort.

But, they were right at the beginning. I remember the first time I saw you as just Harry. You were alone on the platform and asked for help to get through to 9 ¾. I remember thinking you were handsome then, even if I was 10 and didn't really like boys like that.

I remember when I first met you and saw you as Harry Potter. You were seated in my dining room and I walked down the stairs in my nightgown. I was blown away. There was my hero, sitting in my dining room, eating toast. Later that year, when you saved me from the basilisk, I saw you as a different kind of hero. You were my personal hero. You saved me.

It took me a couple years to get over that and just see you for you. I did though. I got to know the real Harry. The boy who loved to fly, joke and mess around with my brothers. The boy who loved chocolate frogs, and trouble. I know you Harry. And that is the boy I fell in love with.

But I have to get over you. I have to. Good-bye Harry.

Ginny

I will always love you too.

Damn it.

I picked up the small package containing the locket and secured it to Pig's leg. I rolled up the parchment and tied that there as well.

It hurt to watch Pig fly away. My last connection with Harry was gone now. I wondered absently if I should go find Dean and apologize. I felt awful that I'd hurt him. I did love him; we had been dating for over a year. When you're with someone that long, it's hard not to fall for them. It's just, well, he wasn't Harry. I couldn't be with him, it wasn't fair to him. He deserved to be loved completely, and I couldn't do that.

I got up and walked down the hallway to my kitchen. I was still in the same flat. I'd done some upgrades here and there, but the place looked mostly the same. I had become a creature of habit. I did the same things night after night. I knew my life had gotten a bit boring, but at least I had some control.

I grabbed the bottle out of the refrigerator and poured myself a glass. I hoped the wine might take the edge off my emotions tonight. I took my glass and wandered into the living room. Curling up on my couch, I set it on the coffee table and started a fire in the hearth with my wand. I grabbed my wine, sat back and let my mind roam free.

It was kind of tragic, what I had become. I used to be strong, independent and bold. But now, I was broken; changed irreversibly by Harry's love. There was no going back. But I had to move on. Perhaps, I wouldn't have the same tenacity or strength. But, maybe I could get a bit of my old spark back.

Mum was going to be furious when she found out I had turned down Dean, crap! I bolted up in my seat, slopping wine down the front of my shirt. Grabbing my wand again, I cleaned up the stain but remained seated forward. She was going to be livid. I'd never hear the end of her rant.

Hermione would be upset too. She kept saying I needed to find someone. When Dean and I started dating she was beyond happy that I had moved on. She just wanted me to be happy. Ron would be happy. He never liked my relationship with Dean. Not in school or now. But Ron was convinced that Harry was coming back. I think he was the only one who still had that hope. The rest of us had grasped the truth long ago.

Harry was not coming back.

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-Sarah