Disclaimer: all rights belong to Square Enix; I'm merely borrowing them.

Author's Note: not proofread, again for the millionth time.

What They Leave Behind

Chapter 11

Lulu

The morning arrived too quickly for Cloud's pleasure. He'd been so tired the night before that he hadn't even bothered to close the curtains before throwing himself over his mattress and passing out. The sun streaked through the curtains, in blinding rays, and fell across Cloud's closed eyes. He tried ignoring it, rolling over and lifting his blankets above his head, but by then his mind was already awake.

He lay in bed for a while, staring up at the popcorn ceiling and gazing off into the depths of his mind without calling up too much attention on any specific thought. It was much too early for him to get up, he decided. Much, much, much too early. Yet here he was, awake and with no hope of returning to the land of dreams.

He rolled himself out of his blankets and stumbled for the bathroom. After washing his face and relieving himself, he went through his clothes to find his sweats. Another morning, another run. He sleepily descended the stairs, yawning all the way, and peered into the sun-filled living room. Zack and Seifer hadn't spent the night over there, apparently, probably spending their free night with their girlfriends. Somehow the house wasn't as full and comforting in their absence, Cloud noted as he dragged his feet farther down the hall, past the kitchen, and out the front door.

Warm as the sun felt, the air was crisp and cool even as the fog dissipated completely. A puff of cooler air swept down the street, strong enough to make Cloud shiver underneath his sweater but too meek to upturn trash spilling out of the street's trash cans. He made a mental note to himself that he'd have to drag their own trashcans to curb today when he came back from his jog because Basch wouldn't be up in time to do it. Today felt all too ordinary.

Cloud stretched for his run on the lawn for a few minutes, gradually awakening his muscles and pulling and exercising them. Once he ensured each muscle was loose and warmed up enough, he started out with a slow jog, working his way up to a more acceptable pace as he turned the corner in the direction of the track. He had a very specific route that he took daily, but today he felt differently. He'd been thinking about track lately, had seen the way his former teammates looked at him across the school's quad, had heard Terra's pleas, and now he'd been having dreams.

He avoided the track yesterday, knowing that Valentine had their conditioning in rain or shine, but it was unlikely Valentine wanted practice to fall on a Sunday. So it was safe. He wanted to ease back into his old life, the life in which he'd felt comfortable, and so he wanted to test out the track, feel each footfall as it came thudding down onto the reddish orange turf again. He wanted to make sure he was capable of doing it. Perhaps Valentine wouldn't want him on the team, especially because the season was approaching and he'd been missing quite a bit, but that was hardly a bother. Besides, did Cloud really want to waste his time like that?

Well, of course he did. He loved track, if nothing else. He even missed the sparse crowds that showed up to meets, the wind on his face, the rush of adrenaline, doubled because he knew the fate of his team's standings rested, even in part, on his shoulders. It was about control. If he lost the race, it was because he wasn't trying hard enough. And that was control. It was about pushing himself to his limits and utilizing every part of his body in the most efficient manner possible. It was about discipline and fortitude. Even when he felt like quitting the road before him in his own life, even when he had that infection—that quitter's bug—he could still run until the end. And it was a rush in itself to be able to have that sort of control over something, something that belonged to him.

Cloud realized a few steps too late why he never went this way to school. His steps faltered when that house came into view. His house. He'd have to pass by it if he wanted to get to the track soon. If he didn't mind wasting another ten minutes, he'd backtrack and take the busy street to school instead of the side streets. What the hell had he been thinking?

He was about to turn around and take the extra minutes to go around, but rich laughter filled his ears, drifting from that house, that tempted him to go past anyway. Even when Seifer's loud bellowed "Bitch-ass, what the fuck do you think you're doing?!" didn't put him off. He continued his running until he came up to Cid and Matron's driveway and then he stopped.

The garage door was open and Zack's motorcycle was parked just in front of it, next to Seifer's new truck.

"It was an accident," Zack huffed in between laughter.

"My ass," Seifer growled. He mumbled a few other things Cloud couldn't quite catch and the ring of tools crashing against each other drew, in some odd way, Cloud up the driveway. Stuffing his hands in his sweater pockets, he slipped into the garage and rounded the hood. Finding no words to say, he just stood there and waited for Zack to notice him.

It didn't take him very long. Zack turned to the open hood and jumped back. "Whoa, Cloud, didn't see ya there, buddy." He chuckled at his own nerves and scratched his head. "What are you up to?"

Cloud pointed to the hood. "What are you doing to Seifer's truck? It's new, isn't it?"

Zack shrugged. "I dunno. Well, I mean, the radiator's shot to shit, really. I don't know what Seifer did to it, but I just dumped anti-freeze all over the place," he said, motioning to the large pool of the green liquid at his feet. "It was his own fault."

At that, Seifer came in from the house with some more rags. "Clean that shit up, bitch-ass." He threw a raggedy towel at Zack's face, and then he saw Cloud. "You, too, butt-wipe," he added, tossing another towel at Cloud.

Cloud swallowed a smart-ass remark. He would have bristled and told Seifer to go fuck himself, like usual, but Zack was already patting up the liquid. Cloud decided to help him, only because Seifer was such an ass.

"So, how do you like detention?" Seifer asked conversationally.

Cloud rolled his eyes, wiping up the last bit, and remaining on the floor. "Zack talks too much."

Seifer grumbled a few things about how detention was supposed to be punishment and, therefore, silent, but didn't pursue the matter, not even to gloat as he normally did. "Hand me that," Seifer growled, waving to a pile of tools on his bench.

"Which one?"

"The wrench."

Cloud stared, not wanting to ask which was a wrench was but too unsure of which one to give. He looked over to Zack, who was by the slop sink scrubbing off his shirt. With no help, he picked the tool that looked the most like its name and handed it to Seifer.

"The wrench, butt-wipe."

Cloud seized another one. Zack wandered back to the truck to peer over Seifer's shoulder, but Seifer thrust the can into his stomach and turned toward Cloud. "Don't you know what a wrench is? The tool that looks kinda like a fucked up Y."

Cloud turned his gaze back to the pile of tools, doubtfully. None of them looked like a Y to him. Seifer brushed passed him and grabbed the supposed Y-tool, waving it in front of Cloud's eyes. "No intelligence behind that face of yours, Strife?"

Zack edged towards Cloud and then nudged him at the hip. "He's always grouchy when fixing his car. You'd think he'd know a bit more about how to keep his car in prime—"

"Shut your face, Fair."

Zack just laughed. "So what are you up to?" he repeated, having gotten no answer the first time.

"Running," Cloud said, gesturing to his sweats.

Zack opened his mouth to say something but then closed it, with wide eyes. Cloud sighed. He hoped Basch's right hand man wasn't just about to mention track when he'd promised he wouldn't only a day before. Finally, without anything else to say, Zack said, "What do you plan on doing after?"

Showering, Cloud thought immediately. As for after that… "Nothing."

Zack nodded to himself. "Let me to take you for a ride on my bike."

Cloud cranked his head around to peered beyond Seifer's truck to Zack's motorcycle, drinking in its sleek black sides and the smooth leather seats with a profound sense of awe, which then erased by a wave of fear. "No, I'll pass."

"Come on, Fenrir needs a bit of driving. I finally got my parents to let me start riding him again." Zack grinned. "You'll like it."

No, I won't, he thought, blistering with nerves. "Um, I can't."

"Aww, is Puberty Boy's wittle fwiend scared of the big bad wolf?" taunted Seifer.

"Shut up, Seifer." Zack rolled his shoulders. "It'll be just down the street. We'll go slow."

Cloud took a step back. "I think I'm going to finish my run now." And another step.

Zack offered his puppy dog look as a last resort. "Please? You can drive, have all the control…"

With another step, he hit a wall. A soft wall. A—Seifer? Cloud jumped back away from the suddenly very tall senior, who stood in front of the exit with his massive frame and his arms folded across his chest.

"What?" Cloud doubted Seifer was in on Zack's plan. The blond couldn't have cared less, probably.

"I can't let you leave when you're right here. Lu's been bitching for the past few months, and I'm sick of hearin' it. Get your ass inside and talk to her." Cloud doubted Lulu had said one word about it, but he'd felt her oppressive presence as soon as he'd walked up the driveway and there was no denying it's been too long since he'd last spoken with her.

Since he'd been thinking very much the same as Seifer, despite that fact that his fears had just been about to get the best of him, he turned and headed for the door to the house. Zack, as he passed him, gently squeezed his shoulder with a "Later, maybe," and a light smile before turning back to whatever it was that Seifer required of him.

Cloud crept through the laundry room, feeling suddenly as if he was intruding on Matron's property and not as if he was simply treading on Squall's. He opened the door to the hallway and peered in. It was dark. Matron and Cid were most likely away, since their car was gone, and so the hall was dark. The curtains were still fastened over the windows, letting the orphans sleep a little longer. He toed down the hallway in Lu's direction. She shared a room with Quistis the last time Cloud checked, but Quistis was old enough to be on her own and she had been planning on moving out. Her room was just beyond Squall's.

Holding his breath, as if any noise created could summon the ghost of his past out of Squall's room, and lightly padded by it. Lu's door was slightly open but he knocked on it anyway, very, very lightly. "Lu?"

There was reluctance in the moments that passed, but eventually Lulu came to the door despite its futility. She stared at him. He'd always seen Lulu just as put together as Squall—showered, hair combed neatly and precisely, her clothes ironed and straightened—but this was too early in the morning. She was in her pajamas, a baggy shirt and boxer shorts, and her rich brown hair was unwashed and uncombed. For a few minutes, Cloud returned the stare.

She opened the door wider. "I didn't expect you," she said.

Cloud didn't have the breath in him to pull out his habitual smart-ass remark. Instead, he wordlessly stepped into her room. Quistis's stuff was still there, her bed tidied up against the far wall, the bed sheets flattened and pillows arranged precisely and neatly, but she was not there. Lulu's bed, of course, suggested that he'd woken her up. "Did I wake you up?" he asked, feeling a bit sick. He wanted to blame it on Seifer.

She shrugged with a yawn. "Yes, but I don't mind. It's been too long. What have you been up to?" she asked, folding a slender leg underneath her as she seated herself on her desk chair.

Cloud, out of habit, sat on her bed. "Nothing really."

She persisted. "Something must have brought you here."

"Seifer did," Cloud grumbled.

She nodded, her face as composed as Squall's even though the hour was early and sleepiness still nestled in her porcelain features. She reached behind her and grabbed her glass of water, holding it but not drinking. "Then I suppose I have to be grateful to him for once," she said, a faint smile playing on her lips. Then she took a gulp before questioning into her cup, "Have you heard much from Squall lately?"

Cloud felt the first tug of jealousy. "Not as much as you have."

She took his tone with her calm indifference and did not seem to be affronted by the obvious accusation. "He only called me a few times," she continued, "and only to complain about Balamb." She hesitated. "And you."

Cloud looked up into her reddish brown eyes, hardened by her resolve to keep pace to her thoughts. Lulu, too, was a good companion, hardly saying anything he never wished to hear. With a sharp tongue and stern eyes, Lulu should have been as oblivious and coldhearted as Squall seemed, but she wasn't. She saw things that Cloud himself didn't see, and she calmly accepted everything Fate threw to her. She smiled only slightly more than Squall and slightly less than Cloud, and she was one of the most loving people Cloud had met. And suddenly, he was filled with shame that he had ignored her for so long, thinking of how she hadn't pushed her unwanted company upon him, how she had recognized his wish to be alone and acquiesced. She had lost a friend, too.

True, a part of Cloud admitted, but she didn't lose a lover.

Taking his lack of reply for what it was—a battle—she turned to the small circular mirror on her desk and attempted to rake her fingers through her hair and straighten it.

Cloud took the opportunity to reply. "What did he say about me?"

She didn't look at him, nor did she reply right away. She continued untangling her hair with her slim, pale fingers and seemed to keep her full attention on her task. "He was supposed to tell you. When he called you."

Dread filled him, making him cold. He studied his hands as their gripped his knees and concentrated on keeping his voice smooth. "He didn't. Can't you just tell me?"

She shook her head, and strands recently loosened from a tangle fell across her face as she finally met his eyes. "That would be breaking his trust. He'll tell you." And then she offered a smile and held out a hand. "It's nothing bad," she assured him, her long fingers wrapping around his wrist, her warm palm pressing up against his cold skin. A wave of emotion swept over him. How long had it been since somebody touched him? Really touched him? He'd brushed shoulders with Basch when walking down the hallway or had gotten his hair mussed up by Seifer when accidently bumping into him at school, but he had remained untouched for so long, and even the times Zack had reached out to give Cloud some of his own warmth had been far too few.

Lulu squeezed his wrist, snatching him out of his thoughts. "At least I don't think it will be bad for you…in the long run," she added. When her warmth withdrew, she continued on with a lighter subject. "I heard that you and Clyde were getting along."

"Clyde?" Cloud echoed faintly, not quite grasping her words. What could Squall possibly have to say? Did he really find someone else? Or was it just hard to tell Cloud how much he missed him? Or something else? Cloud didn't feel reassured by Lulu's words. She could find positive outcomes in extremely negative events.

"Clyde Arrowny." She sighed. "Shadow."

"Oh," he nodded. "Well, we don't really talk."

She cracked another smile for that. "I don't imagine you've been doing all that much talking. Your voice is coarse."

Cloud heard the hurt in her tone but couldn't find the words to ease it and therefore said nothing. She didn't need to hear a response to know Cloud, the oblivious one, understand the unvoiced complaint. She closed the distance between them and hugged him. Cloud sank into her warmth, thinking how different the hug with Lu was than with Zack. His arms were long and strong, and even when drunk, Zack managed to squeeze him tightly and wrap his heat around Cloud so that no inch of his body felt anything but hot comfort. He even recalled Zack's scent—alcohol infused with Old Spice cologne. But Lu's arms were thinner and not as strong. She drew him into a comforting, sisterly hug, where her arms were loosely circled around him and the warmth he found there did not reverberate sanctity and passion, even.

Snickering from the hallway drew Lu's attention. She pulled back with disapproval and frowned at Seifer and Zack. Cloud, alarmed at the lack of warmth, looked around, befuddled.

Seifer didn't bother addressing Cloud and Lu. He half turned to Zack and teased them. "I told you Lu was lovesick."

Zack only smiled warmly at Cloud, capturing his gaze with his own approval. Cloud acknowledged it with a slight nod, and Seifer sputtered at the silent exchange while Lulu studied Zack more closely with a puzzled expression.

"What the shit was that?" Seifer wanted to know.

Zack shrugged. "I'm gonna go. I've got work, you know. Hey, Cloud," he said, "why don't I take you back home and Lu can catch some sleep?"

Lulu, who Cloud had thought would be embarrassed by Zack's easy admission into the sanctity of her own house when she was hardly decent, nodded. "Come by later, and maybe we'll check out the movies or something."

Cloud stood up to follow Zack down the hallway, through the laundry room, and into the garage. In the spacious garage, Zack draped an arm around Cloud's shoulder and asked, clutching Cloud perhaps a bit too tightly, "What's wrong, you look a bit detached."

Cloud didn't bother explaining. Instead he said, "I didn't realize how much I'd missed Lu."

Zack's heat engulfed him, and he drew closer with each step they took towards Zack's bike. Squall had something big to tell him. Lulu wanted to do something with him like old times. He was going to ride a motorcycle for the first time in his life. And Zack was holding him—no, not holding, just putting his arm around him. Was he supposed to feel normal?

/ - / - / - / - / - /

Author's Note: Lu is one of my favorite characters of all time, and my cat (her namesake) was lazing around my laptop and was meowing when I began this chapter, so I decided that this chapter was as good as any to give her a proper introduction, since she is supposed to play a significant part in Cloud's…erm…attraction to Zack.

I realize that this is a character-driven plot (maybe I've said this before, idk). Is my story too slow? Is it missing something? I feel as if I am, but I know of all these things that have to happen before I get to major events, and so I introduce them, but maybe I could introduce them in a more…tactful way? I don't know, what do you, my loyal readers, think about my pacing and the unfolding of the plot?

Reviews are welcome…