Chapter Eleven:

Familiar Faces

"The important thing is this: To be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become." –Charles Dubois

Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar.

We have been slowly traveling northwards in pursuit of the Avatar. It is entirely clear that he is going to the North Pole to find the Water Tribe there. He intends to master waterbending and perhaps as well does that Water Tribe peasant Katara. I have not thought of her or her brother at all. I wonder if she ever got that necklace of hers back. My charge did not tell me much about the events that passed with that bounty hunter scum. He returned in an ill mood without the Avatar. Lord Iroh disclosed the information that they had failed miserably. I thought it best not to pursue the subject. All that had mattered to me was that they had come back safe.

It is clear to me now that I must be more firm with my charge. If I always let him have his way as I have done, I will never get to be the bodyguard I am supposed to be. I was trained for this so it is about time I start acting like it again! As always, it is my emotions that are my own enemy and condemning flaw. Like I wrote before, I do not think it is possible for me to be without them like I had strived so hard for. Yet I can control them and can hide them. That is my only choice.

For awhile now the usual time I spend with Lord Iroh has been normal. He has not mentioned anything more to me of his son Lu Ten and the bodyguards that protected him and his son. The ones that failed: Reizo and Keiya. Reizo had died because he had sought to protect the daughter he never should have had and his charge's son who was like his own. Keiya had lived on to become the Guardian of the Society, probably burdened with the guilt that in attempting to protect her father as well as her charge Lu Ten, both had died. Emotions, if not controlled, can lead to this sort of disaster. Keiya had loved her charge; even Lord Iroh had admitted that to me. Keiya's uncle had been my master, Keitaro, and he had named me for his dead sister. The one who had died in childbirth when giving life to Keiya. Hope, that is what Keiya's name means, ironic really. She is my kin as well. Her story is one of…events that could have been prevented.

Emotions….

Master Keitaro had taught me that I must deny them or control them as well as he does. That man in many ways was like a father to me, since I had been taken from mine. In the Society, you do not make friends with your peers. They are competition or are ignored by one's self. They compete to be the best so that they may have the highest guarding positions. Mine had been guaranteed to me from the moment I was picked because of my family. The Suzuki family, a minor noble family that seemed obscure, but who were truly most revered amongst the Society for only they could protect Royals. The rest of my family thought I was dead, except for my mother and others who would know the truth in the family. It was only on a need to know basis for discretion and the safety of the Society.

Lord Iroh is the only other person in my life outside of Master Keitaro I have come to know well, outside of my charge of course. Lord Iroh is the closest thing I have ever had to a friend. An interesting choice I guess for such a thing. Early this morning I was out as usual doing my exercises and drills. The sun was covered by the clouds and the ship seemed sluggish in its movement. We were headed to the nearest port to refuel and restock supplies as we would continue northwards. The ship would be there in a few hours. The atmosphere on the ship was one of restlessness and eagerness to get off of the ship for just a few sweet hours of freedom. Lord Iroh watched as he usually did until I stopped. Sweat ran down my forehead which I wiped away with my sleeve as I bowed towards him. "Your movement is troubled Nira," he commented with eyes as placid as Master Keitaro's could be.

I resisted the temptation to sigh in annoyance. He always said something like that about my fighting! "As always, you are mistaken Lord Iroh."

He raised an eyebrow at this statement. I was sometimes a little freer in my speech with him. "Emotions are expressed through fighting. You're confused I think," he replied in a nonsensical matter, "But perhaps a nice cup of tea can help?"

I looked at his warm smile and kept my lips from curling upwards in response. "If you wish it," I said back with a respectful nod. Lord Iroh bustled over to the usual table he liked to use on the deck. I should know since half the time I have to drag it out here from inside. The conversation that followed was customary, primarily him doing most of the talking. When the sun had finally started to peak through the clouds a little, he said something that is still crawling in the back of my skull. "Have you ever thought about yourself?"

I had stared back at him, at loss for words. He had set his cup down and had a most serious expression in his manner. "All of your life you've been raised as a bodyguard. Keitaro once told me that you reminded him of the others who had not followed the ways of the Society. My own bodyguard Reizo and his wife Nira," he paused, as if waiting for me to take in his words. "Have you ever thought about what you wanted?"

Why was he talking like this! What was the point? I am what I was raised to be…a bodyguard! Nothing more! There…there is no point in even thinking like this! It only just leads to failure. And how did he know Master Keitaro well? I distantly recalled the first time I had met Lord Iroh and the familiarity between the two. By this time I had set down my own cup and I spoke in a low, hushed voice. "I do not know why you speak of this to me, Lord Iroh," I attempted to keep the respect in my voice, but it sounded dark to my own ears, "But do not speak of this to me ever again." I had always respected him in a way but now…I stood up abruptly and walked away from the table with that.

The rest of the day I spent in my chambers, occasionally checking in my charge when need be. He was in his own room all day as well. The candles flicker bitterly in my room, casting shadows against the cold, iron walls. If only I could firebend them…another failure…

Now the night has come and I can hear the distant sounds of the crew playing music. Lord Iroh's voice sings gently and the words whisper throughout the ship. "Winter, spring, summer, and fall. Winter, spring, summer, and fall. Four seasons, four loves. Four Seasons, Four loves."

…Love…

I do not need it or want it. I had it within my family, my own mother loved me, and yet she let them take me away from her. Family, kinship, love, I am better off without those things. If I had them, it would only destroy me. Love…

Soon after this the music had stopped. I expected it to commence again soon, but to my surprise it did not. There were the sounds of heavy footsteps echoing through the corridors, coming nearer to where my charge's room and my own as well. I heard a familiar voice mutter darkly, "This ship is perfectly pathetic, just like that disgrace of a prince." Several other voices chuckled at those words. I knew that voice…Zhao. I exited my room quietly as possible to see his shape in the hallway along with several other soldiers. Lord Iroh was about to open my charge's door which opened with a whine.

Lord Iroh's bulky shape leaned in and I heard my charge speaking irritated, "For the last time, I'm not playing the sungi horn!"

"No, it's about our plans," Lord Iroh replied cautiously, "There's a bit of a problem." Well quite obviously there would be if Zhao was here! What did that scum want now? He just relished in the chance to torture my charge. He entered towards the room with a confident walk. The two soldiers remained out in the dimly, red lighted hall, unaware of my presence.

I heard Zhao's voice from the room, "I'm taking your crew." His words dripped with arrogant pleasure.

"WHAT?!" was the loud and angry exclamation from my charge. This is where his temper and anger made me happy.

"I've recruited them for a little expedition to the North Pole," explained Zhao delighted. Of course he had to be going there after the Avatar. Typical. Fate likes to play cruel jokes on my charge I think.

"Uncle, is that true?" my charge demanded.

"I'm afraid so. He's taking everyone," Lord Iroh responded tragically, "Even the cook!" Without the crew we would not be able to run this ship by ourselves. We would not be able to go to the North Pole! If he was taking everyone this could only mean that he was going attack the North Pole. The Northern Water Tribe had survived and remained undefeated for the last hundred years, unlike their kindred in the South Pole.

"Sorry you won't be there to watch me capture the Avatar," Zhao said as if there was sunshine itself in his voice, "But I can't have you getting in my way again."

I heard a shuffling sound and knew that Lord Iroh had to be keeping my charge from doing what he and I both dreamed about doing. "I didn't know you were skilled with broadswords, Prince Zuko," Zhao said next with a tight voice. Broadswords?...The swords that my charge had taken with him that night, the stories of how the Avatar had miraculously escaped from Zhao's clutches thanks to a masked savior….my charge..? I felt like banging my head against the wall.

"I'm not," my charge said stiffly, "They're antiques. Just decorative." He is not going to believe it…

"Have you heard of the Blue Spirit, General Iroh?" Zhao asked.

"Just rumors. I don't think he is real."

"He's real all right," Zhao said with a hint of ferocity, "He's a criminal, an enemy of the Fire Nation." His footsteps moved closer to the doorway. "But I have a feeling justice will catch up with him soon. General Iroh, the offer to join my mission still stands if you change your mind." He exited the doorway and closed it. I could see the anger in his face. He turned in my direction and started to walk my way with the soldiers following obediently. I was hidden in the shadows here, but he would see me once he got close enough. I started to slink along the wall quickly, hoping for a chance to bolt. I was not in the mood to talk with this man. I needed to speak with my charge. What was he going to do? This news was not good at all for him!

Unfortunately for me I did not to my escape around the corner quickly enough. I was spotted. Zhao's commanding voice called out as he came closer, "Stop!"

I halted in tracks and prepared to turn around with a look of neutrality. A hard thing to do in those few moments, but I did it. I turned around to see the pleased face of Zhao. His eyes were alight, even though the anger was quite apparent in them. He had not changed since our last encounter. I could feel my own fury and dislike coursing through me. This man had dared to interfere with my charge! The two soldiers stood behind him menacingly and I knew that this was not the time or place. "Ah…it's the disgraced prince's little bodyguard," he said slyly. His eyes became more predatory and lost their usual concealment of his thoughts. "I'm sure you overheard the conversation I just had with him. I have an offer for you."

I resisted the want to slap that prideful smirk from his face. "And what could that possibly be?" I replied sardonically. Zhao's face flashed with anger for just a moment.

"Come with me to the North," he said silkily, "I could use someone with your…skills."

"No thanks," was my sharp and instant reply.

Zhao's eyes narrowed. "Well…suit yourself then, your prince is not going to last long the way he is going," he said coldly, "And when he is gone, I will be there."

My eyes widened and with that he continued on his way. I stood in the hall, understanding the threat in his words, but not totally comprehending them. There was a threat…a look in his eyes…that disturbed me beyond my own words. I understand when someone threatens you as in to kill you, but this…this was different. I did not understand it and really did not want to either. I shook my head and went up to my charge's chamber. The door was closed and I could my charge's angry voice from within as he spoke to Lord Iroh. I shook my head and went back to my own room to sleep. I would speak to him tomorrow.

The next morning my charge refused to leave his room or allow anyone to enter. The day passed slowly as the crew prepared to leave. To my own surprise Lieutenant Jee came to speak to me as I watched the few people that passed by on their own business on the dock below. The day was nice, but there was a cold wind that nipped at my face. "So, you're staying then?" he asked in his pleasant voice.

I nodded.

"I just wanted to wish you luck," he said, "You're both young and have been through a lot I think. Just take care and guard the prince well." His eyes were only filled with kindness when I looked at them. I bit down on bottom lip hard.

"Thanks," I said respectfully, "Have a safe journey."

He nodded kindly back and with that left me alone. I wondered at that for I had never spoken to the man much, not in all the years we were on this ship together. He had said goodbye to me, I who had never treated him kindly or had wished to speak to him. This world is a strange place sometimes.

That night the crew departed as Lord Iroh and I watched them leave together in a pack. Someone yelled good luck at us as Lord Iroh smiled sadly. The sky was mostly clear with the stars shining distantly. The ship now seemed strangely silent as I followed Lord Iroh towards my charge's room. Lord Iroh opened the door slowly and stuck his head in, I slipped in past him. My charge laid down on his bed with his arms crossed, glaring up at the ceiling. "The crew wanted me to wish you safe travels," Lord Iroh said gently.

"Good riddance to those traitors," my charge spat.

"It's a lovely night for a walk. Why don't you join me?" Lord Iroh asked with a smile. "It would clear your head." My charge stayed silent and Lord Iroh's smile fell. "Or, just stay in your room and sit in the dark. Whatever makes you happy."

Lord Iroh looked me in the eye and I turned my face away from him. Invitation denied. I did not want to talk to him. With a soft sigh he exited the premises. I looked back at my charge who had not changed positions at all. "Are you alright, Your Highness?"

He did not even bat an eyelash. "I'm…go away, Nira."

I turned to leave, but before I did I said softly, "I made an oath to you, Your Highness. I will always be here." He did not say anything in response nor did I expect him too. And with that, I left him to his own thoughts.

I walked through the ship, heading towards the back deck that would give me a view of the ocean. It was higher than the front deck and one of my more favored spots. I heard footsteps as I stood there and whirled around. There was no one there…

I did not get to complete that thought before the ship rocked with an intense explosion. Fire busted from the mid-part of the ship and came whirling towards me. I am not a firebender and the only thing I could do was jump. The fall to the water was long and hard upon landing, almost knocking me out. The water itself was quite cold and I shivered as I felt it stab my skin like the knives I usually carry. My breath had been knocked from me, so it took me a few minutes to swim to shore from amongst the burning wreckage. All I could think about was my charge. He is a firebender…so….

I reached the dock and attempted to grasp its planks. I barely had the strength to hold on. A warm, solid hand grabbed my forearm and pulled me up. I lay on the dock and looked with quivering eyes at Lord Iroh's familiar face. Horror, grief, and relief lay there in those golden eyes. Darkness crept upon the sides of my vision and it was difficult to breath. I was so cold…

Lord Iroh…my charge….

Then there was nothing.

I was in the courtyard again for a third time. The red bricks gleamed with warmth and the fountain next to me sung its merry song with the trickling water. The small sapling was alight with pink blossoms. My older sister Narimi and I had planted it together. This time it was not Koun or my younger self who approached me. It was…father….

He seemed less tall then I remembered him, not even half a head taller than me and I am of short stature. He was broad shouldered and dressed in his favorite clothing for home. A simple outfit of dark red, but elegant. He was broad-shouldered and thicker in build, like a wrestler. His raven hair was bound up in the familiar top-knot and the golden eyes as light as the sun. There were lines there in his face, but his smile was wide with pleasure in his rather blunt face. "Little one," he cried with his arms open.

I walked over hesitantly and did not run into his arms as I once would have. Slowly, ever so slowly, his arms fell back down to his sides. The smile on his face became a small frown. "You are my daughter, aren't you?" he asked.

"I am…" I said back, taken by surprise at the longing in my voice.

Father tilted his head as he looked at me. "You've grown up," he stated simply with warmth.

"You're dead…I dreamed about this place and Koun was here as well."

"Yes, we're both dead," he replied with lament in his eyes, "I am sorry that I had to leave so soon. I always hoped to see you again when I was alive."

"I am here now," I pointed out.

A small smile grew on his lips. "Yes, yes, you are," he agreed, "But my little one changed that I don't even recognize her anymore."

My throat hardened with no explanation. Again, I surprised myself with the emotion in my response and the very words that I said. "I am your daughter. I always have been...I never forgot you, though I tried so hard!"

My father looked up at the sky before he looked back at me. His voice was shadowed as he spoke again, "I didn't know that they would take you. Mari only told me till after it had been done. I had never been as furious or since at your mother for that. It…changed things."

"Am I dead now?" I asked suddenly, not wanting to think about his words. If I was then I could finally be with him and Koun. I would not have too….It would hurt less to feel as I do now.

"No," he said, his words making me wince at their finality, "This is only a dream."

"That's what they always say," I muttered.

He walked over to me and pulled me into his embrace. The first time someone has held me in their arms since that night long ago when mother had handed me over to Master Keitaro. "Dreams are much more then you think, little one," he whispered with love brimming in his voice, "I missed you…"

I opened my mouth to reply…

When I opened my eyes, the blue sky was above me with clouds drifting lazily across. I was not dead than. I sat up slowly, wincing at the pain for my body felt as if it should be dead. I was sitting in a grassy dip that was surrounded by thick bushes. Lord Iroh sat directly across from me, his face relieved when I looked at him. "Where is he?" I asked, trying to keep the fear from my voice. Afraid of what the answer would be…

"Prince Zuko has gone to join Zhao's soldiers," Lord Iroh answered me, "How are you feeling?"

I blinked. "WHAT?!"

"He has a plan. Zhao was behind the attack on him," Lord Iroh explained calmly, "I will be accepting Zhao's offer as an advisor and you will accompany me."

This explanation did explain the attack and my wrath grew at the mention of that man's name. My charge was alive and well enough to have planned this. Relief swelled in me and… "So, we're going to act like they succeeded in…" I could not say the words.

"Yes and when we reach the North Pole, Prince Zuko will go after the Avatar."

"It is going to take weeks to get there though, how will he stay hidden?"

Lord Iroh smiled slightly, "He is my nephew, you know. Come, if you're well enough to talk, you're well enough to stand. I have an admiral to call upon."

With that, I followed Lord Iroh in my now dry, but ruined clothes. I had a slight limp and it hurt to move, but I kept my face calm. My charge was alive and he was sort of safe, all things considered. I would bide my time till I get a chance to speak to him. We were only a short distance from the port and made way to the Fire Nation quarters.

Before I knew it I was standing in Zhao's tent, surveying him and Lord Iroh with careful eyes. This time I was not barred out. A map hung behind them as they sat at a low table. The inside of the tent was stuffy and glowed with a malevolent red light. Zhao poured tea into cups for the both of them after they had done their initial greetings. He had ignored me, befitting for him because I am a bodyguard. Lord Iroh told him of what had happened.

"I'm devastated to hear about Prince Zuko," Zhao lied with false sadness on his face, "Just devastated."

Lord Iroh closed his eyes as if in pain before he opened them. "The Fire Lord will not be pleased when he learns who was responsible."

I saw the flicker of suspicion and fear in Zhao's face as he frowned. What a coward. "You know who was behind the attack?"

"Yes," Lord Iroh cried and slammed his fist on the table, "Pirates! We had a run in with them awhile back." Zhao raised his cup to his lips and I saw the brief smile there before he drank. What a… "They wanted revenge," Lord Iroh continued.

"So," Zhao said, "have you considered my offer?"

Lord Iroh bowed his head. "Yes, I accept. It will be an honor to serve as your general." He raised his glass in toast, "To the Fire Nation!"

"To victory!" Zhao added with relish. I turned my head and resisted the need to kill the man where he sat. I had never felt such a desire to end someone before in all my days, except only for one other man. And that had been on only one occasion.

After that, Lord Iroh was shown to a tent he would stay in till we would depart in several days. The fleet was going to be massive, telling by the size and number of ships in port. Lord Iroh was shown from Zhao's tent and I went to follow him, but a rough hand grabbing my shoulder stopped me. I turned to look at Zhao's greedy eyes. "Stay awhile," he said, jerking his head towards Iroh's unattended seat. Damn…I had to follow his orders for now. I went over carefully after shrugging his hand off roughly. He went over to his vacated seat and resumed it. His eyes pierced at me, making me shift uncomfortably. "I'm surprise you're alive," he drawled, his eyes roamed over me, "You actually look worse than usual."

I hissed, unable to keep my anger down. "Whatever it is you have to say, say it, or you are just wasting my time." He was anyways, but I was not going to say that.

His eyes hardened with annoyance at my disrespect and bluntness (which is not usual for me anyways.) "You will address me as admiral," he ordered with flames burning in his eyes, "and like I said, your weak excuse of a prince is gone and I am here."

I kept my face placid but I was angry, and startled with confusion. So what? Why did he not just kill me now? I could see the hate in his eyes just as I was sure he could see it in mine. Suddenly he let out a low chuckle which turned into a laugh, "You don't understand, do you?" he asked with sinful glee, "A bodyguard, trained in those arts, yet still so naïve. And yet to think that I thought you were his lover!"

I almost dropped my jaw at this. He thought…I and my charge…? My face now burned as I realized his words and the looks in his eyes. Of course I knew what went on between a man and a woman. Master Keitaro had explained it once when I myself had become a women. It was a conversation that I wished to never repeat. Yet…I had little knowledge of those things nor did I want to know more about it. Zhao…I felt like throwing up. I shuddered as I looked back at him. A smile danced upon his face. "Now you understand," he said confidently, as if he did noy expect to ever be turned down, "My offer still stands. Serve me and you will be well rewarded."

I looked into his eyes with all the hate I could muster. "I serve His Highness," I stated, "and I always will."

His eyes became blazed with fire. "So would rather serve an old man who used to be a celebrated hero of our nation, but is nothing more now than a failure like your dead prince!" he said quickly with furiousness and disbelief in every syllable, "You will come to me. This is not over!" he promised and with that he dismissed me from his sight. When I got far away enough from his tent and with no guards to follow me, I found a place hidden behind a building to throw up.

I stayed by Lord Iroh's side like a burr for the next few days before we left. Zhao did not speak to me again, but occasionally I would feel his eyes upon me. Lord Iroh and I spoke little as well, each lost in our own thoughts. I did not see my charge and whenever a soldier wandered by I thought if it might be him. Watching behind those masked helmets. I hoped he felt better than I did. I had bruises and scratches all over me. My body still ached with every movement.

We set sail in Zhao's commanding ship, the rest of the fleet spread behind us. There were so many ships. How could we possibly hope to get the Avatar with a force this size to deal with? I tried not to think about it. I was assigned quarters next to Lord Iroh's that were even smaller than the ones that I'd had on my charge's ship, but they would do fine. My ruined clothes had been replaced along with several new knives. My sword and other weapons I did not replace. No point considering I never used them anymore.

Today was the first day we set sail. It will take several weeks to get to the North Pole. The voyage I know is not going to be a pleasant one. Stuck on a ship with Zhao…what a dream come true. I stood beside Lord Iroh, staring out at the gray ocean from a high stoop on Zhao's ship. He stood with his back to us, surveying the ocean as well. It would have too easy to push him off right there and then. "My fleet is ready," he said, "Set a course for the Northern Water Tribe."

Lord Iroh bowed his head and left to convey the orders. Smoke filled the air from all the ships, making the blue sky become a pasty gray. I looked out past Zhao, towards the north, wandering what fate awaited us there. Hopefully she would not be cruel to my charge as she customarily was. Or to myself.

A/N: I stayed home sick today from school (being quite miserable) and here is the fruit of my labors. As promised, it was long! Hope you all enjoyed it and reviews are as loved as ever!