Damon's POV
We're driving around Austin, Texas on an early Tuesday morning. Alaric is very sleepy and I'm exhausted-I haven't been able to get any decent rest ever since Stefan disappeared last month. I was on edge, my body was giving up on me, I haven't been eating anything and if it wasn't for Bonnie, I wouldn't even remember, that I had to do so. I was holding a cup of coffee in my hand even now as it has been my best friend in the past few weeks.
I shift uncomfortably in my seat, trying to get rid of any frustration and sadness-I was very cranky these days, especially after we arrived here on Sunday and I was so damn optimistic that we're going to find him right away. I was so damn wrong and after wandering around town all day and checking out construction firms where he was supposedly probably working and not finding anything, I collapsed on my bed exhausted and allowed myself to even cry a little.
I was starting to lose any hope we're going to find him at all.
When Ric called me about a month ago to tell me Stefan has run away from the Gilberts, I didn't want to believe him. Yes, the previous days we've talked about our mother and all that, he did look kind of off and maybe a bit too sad, but he didn't seem like he has any plans to leave, he never implied it or so I thought until I remembered that when I asked him about the test, he said it didn't matter anymore and I've given him a confused look. Then I realized that he probably wanted to know so much about mother, because he wasn't sure if he'll ever see me again and he needed answers.
I was mad out of my mind. I practically destroyed my flat and turned everything upside down.
Then, I got sad and drunk, for I was left alone again and if Bonnie hasn't found me a day later sleeping on the floor hugging an empty bottle of scotch in hands and dragged me to my bathroom, reminding me that he's a fifteen year old child who ran away and needs me to find him, because he's confused and lost, I would've wasted even more time ruining myself instead of trying to find him.
Ric was already working on it, but we had no idea where he even was.
He first started looking for him around the state, checked out some of his old friends, foster brothers or sisters, who were close to him and could help him escape, but none of them knew anything, or so they said. It was a waste of time, we realized that about a week later, it was bad, we had no idea where he could've left and the Gilberts claimed that everything was alright before he left, despite the fact that I still believed they might've drove him away if they were pushing him too hard.
I don't think they actually ever recognized the fact that he has a real problem, I'm not even sure they knew how little sleep he gets.
Anyway, about three weeks later Elena, his foster sister surprised me when she knocked on my flat's door with a sad expression on her face and big dark circles under her eyes, just like mine.
She took out a book from her bag-it was his Chemistry book and when she opened it we found some note where he has written D.L-Austin, Texas. That was it, no address, no name, nothing. I supposed the initials meant someone's name, maybe a person, who'll help him and when we got to the station and Alaric flashed his photo at one of the cashiers she said she actually remembers a boy buying a bus ticket in the middle of the night two weeks back while wearing nothing but an old brown bag and black hat. He seemed sad, she said.
So here we were, just a few days later, trying to find him. Ric claimed that we will find him working somewhere in construction, because that's where he always got him in the last few times he ran away.
We checked other places too, hospitals and police stations included, but thanks God, he wasn't there. I was just hoping he wasn't stealing again, because that would bring him so much trouble, but Ric was pretty much sure that if he's out in the middle of nowhere, he probably didn't have a choice, even if he had a job.
Ric knew this friend of his, a cop, working here in Austin, and he got us a list of all the construction firms in town, helping us sort out those hiring minors or dealing with illegal stuff, but still getting away with it, which is why we were headed to this place at the north end of town and I was sighing tiredly, hoping that this won't all be in vain.
I close my eyes, going to my conversation with Elena from a few weeks back.
"Anyway, I should probably go, I hope you find him" she says after she shows me the note and starts getting up and heading to the door. I put her hand on her skinny shoulder and turn he carefully back to me
"Elena…" I sigh "Please…is there something else I need to know?" I ask her and we stare at one another for a moment. I can see the tears in her eyes and I watch her look away from me and stare down at her shoes as she takes a step back
"I have to go, my parents are waiting for me" she tries to leave again, but this time I rush and stand in her way, raising my hands and begging her to stop.
"Does this have anything to do with the fact that he has fallen for you?" I ask and I see her eyes widen and her swallowing hard "Is that why he left? You two kissed or something and your parents threatened to ship him away?" I could see it in her eyes, I was right about this-he did love her all this time, probably from the moment he saw her and something has happened between them, something that made him go
"Just…please, find him" she begs one last time, after she has allowed me to catch a glimpse from the sadness in her eyes and realize that she has fallen for him as well and she was as worried as I was.
"Damon?" I hear Alaric call me out an my eyes snap open "Are you even listening to me?" he asks slightly irritated and I compose myself as I rise up and bury my fingers in my messy hair. I needed a shower, it was too damn hot around here
"I'm sorry" I apologize and he sighs, but not annoyed, he can see how tired I am. I realize, that we're very close to the place he was looking for, because I can see a relatively big and building under construction, which reminded me of an old and abandoned place when it was supposed to be someone's future home.
"I said we're here" Ric repeats ass he parks the truck a little before the big metal gate with bars behind which I see guys in jumpsuits and white shirts with orange helmets on walking by and carrying all sorts of instruments in hands.
We get off the truck and I fix my crumpled shirt while Ric looks for his badge. He gives me a reassuring smile, he never lost hope all this time, I have no idea how he does it, but he managed to remain calm and to keep looking without ever giving up. He said he has always found Stefan and he will find him again, no matter what it costs him.
We approach the gate and he yells at one of the boys, asking if he can get their boss out here and flashing his badge, which wasn't anything that special, but at least it gave him permission to ask questions, without being kicked out.
He wanted his cop friend to come with us today as well, but he was busy and now I was hoping we would manage to deal with this on our own without ending up being ignored. These people here didn't like getting too many questions, it was obvious that most of whatever was going on here, wasn't exactly legal.
A guy in a red dirty shirt and dark blue jeans approaches the gate, slowly and steadily-he was fat and bold, but his smile was wicked and when he saw us, he slightly furrowed his eyebrows while the boy explained that we were looking for him.
"Hello, sir" Ric says as the guy approaches the gate, but doesn't attempt to open it up or welcome us at all "I'm Alaric Salzman, I'm with the Child Services and I'm looking for a boy" he explains as he takes out the photo of Stefan we have printed, it was a new one, he got it for his summer school and I refused to look at it, because it made my heart get stuck in my throat, so I let Ric keep it in his pocket and carry it around
"I'm trying to find this boy, his name is Stefan Salvatore" he continues and I see that the man is not even slightly interested in looking at the photo, he keeps staring at Ric with disgust and annoyance and I can't stand him!
"I don't know no Stefan Salvatore" he finally speaks up for the first time and grunts annoyed as he tries to take a step back and leave us
"Please, just take a look at it, you might've seen him somewhere" Ric shoves his hand between the bars and practically raises the photo up to the man's eyes.
I observe him carefully and my breath gets stuck in my throat when I see his eyes pierced at Stefan's face. He opens his mouth a little and I notice him swallow hard as he takes a step back. Ric and I exchange optimistic glances-he has recognized him
"I don't know him. Now get out of here!" he practically yells at us and Ric pulls back, pretending to be disappointed. We turn around and he winks at me as we get back in the truck and take a big turn, moving up the street, but on the opposite side, hiding between the cars so we can still observe the entrance
"He knows him!" Ric yells out optimistically as we settle in the truck and he turns the engine off "I'm sure he does! Did you see the look on his face?" he asks and I nod, for the first time in weeks feeling hopeful, daring that this isn't just our minds playing tricks on us, that this guy has really recognized Stefan
"Now what?" I ask "Why did we stop here? Shouldn't we go there and pressure him to tell us where Stefan is?" I ask confused. I don't know why he stopped here, but he must have his reasons
"No, I know how these guys." Ric explains patiently "If Stefan's somewhere in there, he would call him out now and probably ship him off, because he would be afraid, he'll bring him trouble. We just have to wait." I nod and I lean back on the car seat, feeling my hands tremble slightly.
We had to get to him, we had to find him and convince him to come with us. I had no idea in what state he was, where he was living in the first place, how was he dealing with everything all on his own? I can't believe he has done this before as well…I can't believe he was a fifteen year old boy who ran away and started taking care of himself without anyone's help. At fifteen, I couldn't even wash my clothes or pick decent ones to wear….
We stay on pins and needles for the next half an hour and I feel that we're probably going to give up soon when we see the gate open and a boy dressed in a blue jumpsuit and white shirt, just like the rest of the workers, get kicked out of there. The fat bold guy pushes him outside and yells something at him.
He staggers a bit and almost falls on the sidewalk, but he manages to steady himself and hurries to get back at the guy, who's however already closing the gates. I see him gripping the bars of the gate and yell for them to let him go. When nobody responds or pays any attention to him he yells out frustrated and hits the gate with his foot.
"Get ready to run, Damon" Ric whispers as if he's afraid Stefan can hear us from here when he was pretty far from us. I wasn't even sure it's him, but when he finally turns in our direction for a brief moment and grabs his bag from the ground, tossing it back on his shoulder, I have no doubt it's him and I feel my heart skip a beat-I've found my brother!
He's a little broken and very desperate, but I found him!
I feel my heart fill up with joy-I was going to help him now.
"What?" I ask Ric confused once the words sink in and I notice how tense he is all of a sudden
"Get ready!" he orders again and he takes off and drives down the street almost next to Stefan, who's angrily walking off the building. When we almost level up with him, Ric tells me to get off and tell him to stop, so I practically jump off the truck and run down the street to him.
"Stefan!" I yell out and he freezes for a moment. I think he recognizes my voice, because he seems to need a minute before he turns around and looks at me.
I'm just a few feet away from him, but I can see him better now-he looks exhausted, worse than me, his hands are bloody, full of cuts and they're gripping his brown bag, the same one he used to run away with, his eyes lost and tired, but I see him tense like an animal, trying to decide what he should do.
He doesn't take too much to decide and the next thing I know, he turns his back to me and starts running.
"Stefan, wait!" I yell as I follow him down the street. I have forgotten about Ric and where he was at all. I know that I have to keep going in order to catch him and he's too damn fast. Ric was right when he said he used to be a great runner-obviously that was still true-he was sneaky and fast and he would look back to check if I'm still after him.
"STEFAN, STOP!" I try again, but I'm just wasting my breathe, he has no intentions of stopping and as he takes a right turn and continues rushing down the street, surpassing people and even crashing in some of them, but keeping up nonetheless, because he just can't stand me catching him. I feel myself getting tired and I'm sure he'll slip away soon, if he manages to get to a bigger street and head downtown, so I have to rush and get a hold of him before it's too late. I'm getting back to being desperate when he takes another turn left and I'm far behind him.
I hear the familiar noise of someone hitting the breaks and another person's cry out and my heart almost skips a beat when I finally turn around and see Ric on the other end of the street, blocking his way with the truck and Stefan lying on the pavement after he has supposedly crashed in him while running.
I rush there while Ric gets off the car and I am surprised when I see Stefan get up abruptly and looking for his bag with his hand pressed to his chest as if it hurts him.
"Let it go, kiddo, it's over" Ric's voice is tough but finally relieved and I see him place his hand on Stefan's shoulder as I manage to get to them just in time. "Come on, come on, it's all good" Ric soothes him as he pills him back to the truck's hood and helps him lean on it "Are you okay? Did I hit you hard?" he asks as he notices Stefan still gripping his elbow
"Stefan!" I gasp relieved as I approach them "Finally." he looks up at me and grants me an angry look while Ric continues holding him tight, even though I doubt he'll try to run away now. I can't help myself, I'm overwhelmed with emotions and I practically pull him to my embrace, hugging him tight.
For a moment, probably because he's too startled, he doesn't pull back and I get to hold him tight to me for a minute, before he starts struggling.
"Let me go!" he yells out for the first time, and I see Ric put his hand on his shoulder again, as if he's afraid he'll run away or try to hurt us, but the only one who's always suffered was him "Just fucking let me go!" he grunts and tries to shake Ric off
"Not until you promise you won't run!" he talks back, he's not afraid to be stern with him, while I still have problems with that. Stefan calms down for a moment and presses his hurt hand close to his chest while biting his lip and watching us nervously, but he steps back and leans on the truck again, which we take as a sign that it's okay for now and he won't try to leave
"What do you want from me?" he asks as he finally lets his hand down and I notice him squeeze his eyes slightly
"What do we want?" I ask getting angrier by the minute. I could not believe him sometimes! "You ran away, Stefan! You fucking ran away in the middle of the night and you're asking what do we want from you?"
"Okay, let's calm down" Ric reminds me as he tries to cool off and stands next to me, giving Stefan a serious look as wellb"Look, Stefan, you have to come with us now."
"What if I don't want to?" he asks through teeth and hops up on the truck
"It's not really like you have a choice here" Ric continues harshly "You're a minor, a child and I am responsible for you, so I have to take you back with us to Atlanta."
"Why?" Stefan asks through a fake laugh "So you can ship me off to some group home and pretend like you actually give a damn about me and care what's going to happen to me?"
"I do care for you" Ric explains "And right now I'm damn mad at you for doing this again, because it makes no sense to me whatsoever. I found you a good home and a great family, who took care of you and signed you up for summer school, trying to help you get your life back on track, but you, being you, decided to throw it all away and just leave to some unknown place and for what?" he asks as he stretches his hand in confusion "So you can become a construction worker for some breaking-the-law asshole? Really, Stefan?"
"You have no idea what happened, so don't you dare judge me!" Stefan manages to respond angrily and I see him clenching his fists, which only confirms my suspicious-something happened between him and Elena
"I'm not" Ric sighs "But I'm also really not up to giving you any more chances" Stefan tenses and I see him pretending not to give a damn, but he's actually pretty upset by these words "Luckily for you" he grants me a look before turning back to Stefan "There's someone who is."
"What do you mean?" Stefan asks doubt evident in his voice, his look confused "The Gilberts won't take me back and I don't want to go there either way."
"He is not talking about the Gilberts" I finally speak up and he grants me a hateful look like the first time when we met, this moment reminds me of that sad afternoon when he hated the entire universe and refused to accept he has a brother
"He means me, Stefan" I explain trying to sound patient, but I'm actually pretty nervous "I applied for becoming a foster parent after you left and I'll be getting my certificate next week." he furrows his eyebrow as if he's refusing to let the words sink in "You can come with us" I take out the plane ticket we got for him and hand it over "And stay with Ric for a few days while I receive it and then…you can come live with me." he looks up at me in disbelief and for a moment he doesn't say anything.
I'm not surprised when he laughs out loud a minute later and hops off the hood of the truck.
"You think I want to live with you?" he asks angrily "Are you out of your freaking mind? You ruined my life! My so-called mother chose you over me and abandoned me in some shitty ass town when I was a few hours old! Do you really think I want to have anything to do with you?" he shoves the envelope of my hands and lets it fall on the ground stomping all over it
"I hate you, Damon! You are a constant reminder of the fact, that I am always the second choice, the shitty orphan kid, who was too much of a problem for his mother so she abandoned him to get back to her fucked up family because she couldn't leave her perfect boy!" he says through teeth as he takes a step forward and looks me in the eyes with so much anger "Every time I look at you, all I can think of is the times when I was alone and hurt! All of it, because of you!"
"Stefan, watch your mouth!" Ric scolds him as he grabs his arm and pulls him away from me, cause I feel like he wants to hit me
"It's fine, Ric" I assure him "You are right" I smile sadly at my brother "You are completely right to be angry, I'm okay with that. Actually…I was waiting for it to happen a while ago. I could see it in your eyes, all that anger and resentment towards me and as much as it hurt me, I knew you had every right to feel this way. But as much as you try to hide it, Stefan, I know that you care and the reason you're doing all this" I look around for a moment until my eyes stop back at him"Is because you want to push us away." he lets a tired sigh out and I feel him relax a little, as if he's glad that someone has finally noticed all this
"Look me in the eye and tell me that you don't want to have a roof over your head, a real home with someone to care for you? Tell me that you want to keep busting your ass here in the middle of this big city, surrounded by strangers and not having anyone to call out in the middle of the night when you're breaking down! Tell me you are not tired of dealing with everything on your own! Tell me you're okay with being lonely! Tell me and I promise you, I'm going to leave and never bother you again!" I beg him and I realize that I'm breaking down, but so was he-there were tears in his tired eyes and he was desperately trying to prevent them from falling.
He swallows hard and clears his throat, but he doesn't say anything and I know why-he's breaking down, piece by piece in front of us and when we finally see him give up and let go, we realize that he's practically going to collapse, so I shove my stronger arms under his and pull him to my chest as I let him bury his blond head in the crook of my neck. I rub his back gently, but don't talk, I know that he doesn't want to hear anything right now, he just needs someone to give a damn about him and I did.
I held him there for a while until he felt like he doesn't need this anymore. Ric has got back in the truck and left us alone, taking our time.
When he pulls back and refuses to look at me, probably because he doesn't want me to see the tears on his cheeks, though he forgets I can feel them on my went shirt, I grip his arms lightly.
"I can't promise you that I'll be a good foster parent, Stefan" I say silently "I have a lot to learn and I'm still messed up after everything I've been through, but know this-I don't give up easily and I will fight for you for as long as I am alive." he still refuses to look up, but I know he's listening
"I'm not going to leave you or give up" I announce seriously and I squeeze his shoulders. I knew that he needed to hear me say this, because everyone has always left him behind and completely alone, which is why he didn't trust a single soul out there. "Now, let's get you back home, huh?" I suggest and he brushes away his eyes with his hand as he nods lightly. I take his bag and open the truck, helping him get in the back seat
"How long has it been since you last slept?" I ask him when I see him lie down and use his bag as a pillow.
"Three days or so" he says tiredly and I see him close his eyes-he was a wreck and needed his rest.
Just looking at him made my heart clench-he was so damn ruined. I grab my sweater from the front seat and cover him up with it. I watch him curl up like a little kid and I gently squeeze his arm, before I let him go and close the door, jumping back in the front seat next to Ric, but I don't stop looking back and checking up on him.
He falls asleep within minutes and I hate it when we have to wake him up once we arrive at the airport after Ric gets our stuff from the motel we were staying and buys a shirt and some khaki shorts for Stefan so he can change.
My brother is so weak and tired that he needs some help with that, so I do my best to put on his shirt and then get him to the bathroom, splash some water on his face and comb his hair. His hands are full of cuts and he winces as I try to wash away all the dirt and the blood from them-he must have been working really hard, because he's completely ruined and he has lost weight, he was so damn thin it actually scared me.
"You know what?" he asks while I'm brushing away all the dirt off his hands and think how he can't even get any rest as he kept talking in his sleep on our way here and toss and turn in the backseat, making my heart clench in pain "I have never…been on a plane before" he admits with a goofy smile
"It's okay, you'll like it" I promise him and he nods
"I always wanted to look at the world from above" he continues as I wipe away his face with the towel and gently grab his elbow, taking him outside. He's so exhausted, that he barely puts one feet in front of the other, I don't know how he thought he could go to work today-he was barely awake and in the words condition possible and that chase we did must have completely worn him out
"Do you feel like you're actually flying from up there?" he asks me childishly and I smile as I help him sit down in the waiting area while Ric is already coming our way with a burger he bought for him
"Yes, Stefan" I assure him as I rub his back and help him lean back "You do."
-I always wanted to be able to fly-he says with a foolish smile and Ric settles down next to us
"Got you something to eat, kiddo." he passes by the brown paper bag, but Stefan shakes his head
"I'm tired" he just announces and Ric and I exchange worried glances. I take off the bag and open it up, getting out the burger for him and unwrapping the paper
"Come on, just a bit" I try to convince him, but he shakes his head "You need to get your strength back, don't be a stubborn asshole!" I urge again, but Stefan pulls away my hand gently and leans back on the seat, closing his eyes for a moment.
I sigh tiredly as I look back at the bag and find that there are some fries as well, which makes me smile and grant Ric a grateful look
"What about some fries, huh?" I tried again, I knew Stefan loved fries and even though he's trying to resist it, he opens his eyes and looks down at my hand holding the small box with the food. He looks at them with disbelief and I raise them up to him a little more, hoping that my teasing will get his appetite back. When he takes too long, I grab a fry and shove it in my mouth.
"You don't want?" I say and I see annoyance flash in his eyes "Damn, you're missing out! They are so good" I tease him and he huffs annoyed as he takes off the box from me and tastes the fries. Soon, he's wolfing them and his mouth is full of fries and his face is stained with ketchup.
I laugh as I watch him eat and by the time he's done, Ric comes back with another refill, because we know he needs it and that won't be enough. He doesn't manage to eat all of them, but I'm happy he's got some food in his stomach now and both Ric and I laugh out loud at the sight of his face, before he wiped all the ketchup away-he was too damn funny!
He gets angry that we laugh at him and he gets grumpy, but by the time he's done eating and is relaxing back in his seat, he starts falling again. I can see that he wants to sleep but he's afraid he'll start yelling or tossing and we were in a public place, so I throw my arm over his shoulders and pull him to my chest.
"It's okay" I promise him "It's all going to be fine." and as much as I want him to believe me, I can see that he is still full of doubt and confusion, but that will change with time.
I was going to make sure of it.