1AN: Before I start I want to thank some of you who reviewed and answer some question or explain some things:

Seraphyn- Alice said "As if" because she knew Rosalie was going to say it. She had a vision of what was going to happen in the parking lot and she just wanted to speed it up so someone didn't get hurt (she knew that if Danny got injured Bella would never forgive Edward).

Boho Bella- Random plot twist or awesome idea!

Villanikkah- thanks for the compliment

Golden Eyes Silver Fangs- I love the attitude too! Thank god someone agrees with me! No more helpless Bella.

Even if I didn't include your name I love all of my reviewers. And if your reading this and you haven't reviewed then do it now!

Disclaimer: Still want to own it but. . . sadly I still don't.

Enjoy!

Chapter 9

The Talk

BPOV

I walked at a vampire pace to the football field. I wanted, no I needed to get this over with before Edward and I ended up in the exact same place we had been last night and I didn't know if I could say no this time.

Do you want to?

It was the question that had been stuck in my mind since the kiss. Did I want to stop him? Did I want to be with Edward forever? Did I want to kiss him and love him and everything else (if you know what I mean) forever?

Forever.

It is such a small word for such a long time.

How could I ever promise to love Edward for forever if I couldn't trust him? And that was the truth. I loved him more then even I, who felt it first hand, could describe. But I could never fully trust him if we started where we left off. My doubt would always be there in the back of mind. Even if I didn't notice it.

If he went hunting.

Was he coming back?

If Alice forced me to go shopping (we all know it's just a matter of time until Alice decides Bella's closet needs an update).

Would he be there when I arrived home?

I could never really know for sure.

But is that enough to hold you back?

Another question. If love, as everyone says it is, is enough to level mountains and conquer castles did it really matter? Would I let mistrust stop me? At the moment I didn't think so.

And what the hell are you going to do about Connor?

I didn't know.

Then he was next to me.

And like always my head started to spin. It wasn't fair how much I loved him. How could I be strong and tell him to leave me alone if I couldn't even comprehend how mad I was at him at this very second.

And I was mad.

He was the reason for all my indecision. All my self doubt. All the feelings that I knew I was feeling but didn't want and wanted to feel at the same time.

I was mad at him for making me feel that way. And I was mad at him for making me yet again threaten him and his family. For a long time they had been the closest thing that had felt like a real home to me. And I hated throwing it back in their faces by even thinking of harming them like that.

I whipped my head around, causing my sent to hit him like a brick, glowered and hissed loudly, "Why is it that yet again you have put me in a position of threatening to kill or injure your family so that I don't lose someone I love?"

"You don't love us Bella?" he replied looking murderous. "Because last night I heard and felt something that seemed to say something else."

I jumped of the bleachers and turned to face him and said in a deadly voice, "I don't want to talk about last night."

To my surprise Edward said this with just the amount of venom that I had used, "Well we have to talk about last night because I am sick of not talking about what really matters. You need to tell me how you feel right now. And it better be the truth."

I paced for a few seconds and then turned to Edward, "Edward it doesn't matter how I feel. I can't leave them. There my family. Do you hear me? I finally found one. One that would do anything for me. One that would rather die then lose me. I can't just leave that."

Edward looked as if I had hit him. But again to my surprise he didn't fold, "Just tell me how you really feel Bella."

I finally decided to tell him the truth. It couldn't change anything.

Again I paced for a moment and the turned, "You want to know how I really feel Edward? Well here it is, I love you Edward. Always have and always will. Every time I see you I love you just a little more, even though I never think it's possible. Every time you look at me my heart literally flips. But it doesn't matter. I can't trust you. I don't know if I ever will be able to. Fully anyway. And even though I can never love Connor as much as I love you, I trust him. And I don't know which is more. Trust or love?"

He was silent for what seemed like an eternity then he whispered, "you can trust and love me."

It wasn't that simple. I knew it and he just wouldn't accept it. I didn't know what I was going to do but I couldn't just start where things had left off with me and Edward.

I ran my fingers through my hair and sat down on the bleachers again trying desperately to think.

What was I going to do?

But again to insane surprise Edward started talking again, "Bella I love you. Just as much and probably more then you love me. What I did to you was unforgivable and I was not mad or surprised that you found someone else. Just hurt. And now I have a

chance to prove my trust to you and I'm not going to let that slip away. I'm ready for forever Bella. And this," he put a small box in my lap, "proves it."

I stared for a moment it.

Then I looked down at my lap. Utterly stunned.

Suddenly he was whispering in my ear, "Bella I don't care who you were with or what you've done. I want you now and for all eternity and for that I am completely sincere. I love you Isabella Marie Swan open the box and let your heart not your head decide."

Then he was gone.

And I was alone again.

With my own thoughts.

Not Good.

I rushed back to the car, with the box in my hand, and got in the drivers seat. I took a deep breath.

And opened the box.

He was right.

What I saw changed everything.

Oh God! This is hard for even me to contain. I know I'm cruel but none of you will guess what's in the box. What's in it alone needs it's own chapter. Sorry! If your mad review and tell me.