I AM SO SORRY. I AM SO SORRY. I AM SO SORRY. I can't say it enough, I'm really sorry this was so late. Holy crap. I'm also sorry cause I feel like this chapter is a little bit shorter than my other ones. Sorry! AND THANKYOU TO ALL OF YOUR LOVELY REVIEWS, THEY ARE ALL SO BEAUTIFUL SDFBKSAJBKJB

JOHN'S POV:

The moment we stepped inside my hive I felt my shoulders droop with exhaustion. All I wanted was to sit down and watch a good movie under a cuddly blanket. Preferably with a grumpy troll who shall remain nameless. I chucked my shoes off and ran into the living room, plopping myself down on the couch. Karkat was grumbling as he carefully took off his own shoes and placed them neatly in the corner of the front room. I smiled to myself as I observed his tedious actions. The violet moon was traveling across the sky, nearly at its set. I rolled over so I was facing the ceiling and smiled as I listened to Impdad running around upstairs.

Karkat, still grumbling, shuffled into the kitchen and began banging things around. I furrowed my brows as a particularly loud clatter came from the room, followed by a crude shout of, "FUCK!" I shot up from my sitting position and stood to find out what all the ruckus was about.

"You okay Karkat?" I asked, walking into the kitchen to find a seething troll on the white-tiled floors. Karkat glared up at me, crossing his arms over his chest in a pout.

"Do I fucking look okay to you, John?!" I shook my head and held out a hand to help him up. Karkat glared at me, teeth barred, before begrudgingly taking what was offered him.

"No, you don't; but that's why I asked." Karkat grumbled and started picking up the pots and pans. I smiled and reached out to help him.

"So what were ya doin' exactly?" Karkat sighed and slammed a frying pan down on the counter-top. He ripped open a cupboard and started pulling out ingredients from the various shelves.

"I was trying to make you weird Earth food. It required a lot of fucking shit so when I'm done you'd better be fucking great full you little shit!" Karkat huffed, shoulders scrunched up as he slammed things around. I felt something strange burrow its way into my head at the thought of Karkat making "earth food" for me. Ginning widely, I reached forward and stopped Karkat's hand from turning the cupboard into kindling.

"Can I help you?" Karkat grumbled and pulled his hand away from mine, pink dusting his cheeks. I smiled wider and took that as a yes.

Hopping around the little kitchen I pulled familiar looking things from random shelves and the ice-box. I pulled out the pizza crust once it had finished rising and showed Karkat how to flip it into a circle.

"Here, you hold it on both sides and through it like this- yea! That's right! You've, oh-!" Karkat's pizza crust landed on his head, concluding the pizza-tossing trials with one good pizza crust and one angry troll.

I sat in excitement, waiting for Karkat to have the first piece. Upon discovery of this whole "pizza" thing, he claimed to have "never thought of mixing the bread dough with the red shit" and to the oven it went! As Karkat took his first bite, testing the gooey substance in his mouth, his face contorted first into distaste; he looked like I'd fed him a peanut butter and tuna fish sandwich. But then, after the initial shock went away, his face softened and he held the pizza slice back to admire it from a distance.

"Humph. I guess this pizza shit isn't that horrendous…I suppose its edible." He said, taking another bite with the same reaction as the first. I grinned and dove into my slice, starving. We sat in silence for a while, our munching and chewing the only sounds in the kitchen. But something was eating away at the back of my head. Karkat had told me at first I would be culled immediately if trolls saw me in public, but already I'd met four of his friends, and they'd been completely fine. Terezi new me already, and Kanaya, Gamzee, and Tavros all seemed really okay with me being all…pink.

"So, when do I get to meet everybody else?" Karkat stopped, mid-chew to glare at me.

"Every shwho elsh?" Karkat said, puffing his cheeks with food. I giggled at his chip-monk like face and reached over, squishing his cheeks together all the more. Oh my god.

"Karkat, Karkat say; 'I'm a guppy'" Karkat's eyes widened.

"Whash the fudgk John?! I will not conferm to your shtransh human eating ritchualsh! Get the fahd auf mef!" I narrowed my eyes and leaned closer to his face. No fucking way. He was too adorable.

"Say it." Karkat rolled his eyes and stuck his tongue out at me, covered in pizza goo.

"Ew! Karkat just say it! Or I'll never let gooooooooo~" I sing-songed. Karkat growled.

"FINE! I'm a fdugckfing guppy." I let go and clapped my hands together in joy, Karkat was indeed, a guppy.

"A grumpy little guppy!" I said as I settled back in my seat. Karkat swallowed the food in his mouth and pounded his fists on the table.

"I, JOHN EGBERT, AM NOT GRUMPY. I AM FUCKING FINE!" I giggled again and sighed, oh antagonizing Karkat was just too much fun!

"But in all seriousness, Karkat. When can I go meet all your other troll friends? I've spent so long away from here, and since I'm assuming that since I got here on accident…I'm not going back anytime soon…" my train of thought trailed off and I started thinking about Dave; what would he be doing now? How would he be? Did he find a home yet? I sighed and ran a hand through my unkempt hair.

"I just want to meet other people, so I can feel more…I don't know…non-alienish?" I offered up as a possibility. Karkat contemplated my words for a minute before staring back down at his food.

"You don't want to meet the others, John. They're horrible." I scoffed and waved away his words with my hand.

"That's ridiculous! You said Gamzee would be horrible, but he was fine! In fact, you complained about everybody, but they were all great!" I smiled as wide as I could and tried to catch Karkat's gaze, but his eyes were elsewhere; they were somewhere sad and alone.

"The others are different than Gamzee and Kanaya and Tavros…and even Terezi John. They're violent and hateful. They would shred you to pieces." I frowned and crossed my arms over my chest. Suddenly I was feeling kind of angry. What made me the weakling here?

"Oh really, Karkat? What makes me so pathetic, here? If I remember correctly, I was the one that had to save you from a bully troll weirdo when we first met, while you just sat in the rain letting him throw rocks at you!" the words were out of my mouth before I could take them back, and the hurt in Karkat's bright yellow eyes was there and gone just as quickly. The sadness was replaced by anger as he stood abruptly from the table and started walking towards the door. I got up and followed him, my heart thudding in my chest with regret.

"Wait, Karkat I didn't-" Karkat turned around and put a clawed hand up to stop me.

"No, John. You think you're hot shit? Then be the little fuck you are. Go outside and meet face to face all the shitheads I deal with every fucking day, see if I give a flying hoofbeasts' left testicle. You never needed me anyways, apparently, so why would you need me now? I'll just go back to my hive and feed Crabdad because the asshole's probably lose eating little troll children or something. See ya latter fuck wad, have a nice life. Make sure to tell me if you make friends with any new losers on par with your bull-fuckery." And with that, Karkat slammed the door shut and walked away. I jumped in surprise at the slam that reverberated through the hive. I just stood there, stunned for a little while. My heart was beating wildly in my chest, but I couldn't tell why. Suddenly, I felt all alone and a little scared. How long had I been on this planet? A week, tops? Who was I kidding? I slumped over and shuffled back to the living room, curling up on the couch.

"You're such an idiot, John Egbert. Why do you always fuck things up?" I groaned, covering my face with my hands. It was then I realized I was crying, for my hands became very wet. I sniffled and looked down at my clear-ish tears. On Alternia, I was a freak. None of my bodily fluids matched in colors, my eyes didn't match my blood, my skin wasn't grey, and I didn't have any funky horns. I sighed sadly and wrapped my arms around my chest, trying to hold myself together. Why did I never match? Why was I such an outcast, everywhere? I suddenly felt hot breath on the back of my neck and turned to see Impdad slithering around on the ground behind me. I smiled sadly and wrapped my arms lazily around the giant lizard's neck.

"At least I still got you, Impdad!" The beast made a gurgling noise in the back of his throat and started moving, me still attached to his neck. I yelped as I was swung onto Impdad's back and carried like a child all the way up the stairs to the messy room I had just started to call my own again. I smiled as Impdad settled me down on the big pile of blankets in the corner.

"Thanks Impdad." I said, patting him on the head. The giant lizard grumbled and slithered next to me, licking my face up and down. I giggled and pushed his giant head away.

"Do you think I should go get him tomorrow?" Impdad nodded his head lazily, closing his eyes. I sighed and pulled some blankets over me, curling up to the belly of warmth next to me.

"Yea, tomorrow sounds good." I said, yawning as my consciousness slowly slipped away into darkness."

KARKAT'S POV:

"That little shit! He doesn't believe a word I say? Good! Then he'll just have to learn the hard way how cruel Alternia is. Fuckass." I kicked a stone across the yard as I stormed away from John's hive. He didn't need me? Good. That's how it should be; he would've ended up hating me someday anyways. I sighed, stopping in my tracks and running my hands through my hair. The fire of anger burning in my chest was long gone, replaced but something much more delicate and painful; loneliness. Why did I say those things? Now he'd never come back.

I was half-way home when a burst of thunder split across the darkened sky, and rain began to pour down in torrents. I growled and began running, I fucking hated the rain. I was instantly soaked through and shivering. Before I knew it, I had no idea where I was; the rain was so heavy I could hardly see two feet in front of me.

"Just my fucking luck." I grumbled as I ran for shelter underneath a red-leaved tree. I sighed and crouched down close to the brown dirt, holding myself in as small a ball as possible. My teeth began to chatter as the cold cut through my grey skin and the wind picked up. Where the hell did this freak storm come from? I thought as it only got worse. To my left, there was a sudden crunch of gravel. I swiveled my head around, but I couldn't see anything. The footsteps came closer and closer, at a slow, calming pace. Why weren't they running? No normal troll liked the rain; it was too cold and too wet and too annoying! I squinted my eyes, trying to see who was approaching. It could be anybody…and that was never a good sign.

Just as the footsteps were about to come into view, they stopped. For a while, there was just the sound of the rain pattering on the ground. I was about to get up, having assumed the footsteps were just a hallucination in my rain-driven state, when I heard a thick, sickeningly sweet voice from the midst of the rain.

"I can smell him. He's here." I froze. The voice slithered out the words, as if a snake was speaking them; it made my whole body tremble with fear. Not because of the snake-ness, but because of how sinisterly familiar it sounded.

"We must find him, and cull the abomination once again." I gulped. There weren't all that many abominations on Alternia, and I happened to know two of them.

"Find him, my good servants, and bring his petty bones to my side. We must purge the good planet of this macabre treachery." I shuddered and coward in my spot, who was this person talking about? More importantly, who was this person looking for the… "Abomination"? As if on cue, the rain lightened a bit; not enough to reveal my hiding spot, but enough where I caught a glimpse of the speaker. I was met with grey skin, long and wild black tresses reaching to the ground, and a giant trident poking from her side. My eyes widened as I recognized the figure and pushed myself as close as possible to the tree, wishing with all my might to blend in with the forestry. My heart was pounding wildly in my chest; my body was trembling with fright. Never before in my life had I been more afraid of anything than I was at that moment. Before me stood the most terrifying woman in the universe; the Condescension.

The rain continued to pour, and eventually, the horrifying woman walked away and I was completely alone. Although I knew she was gone, saw she was gone, my body didn't move for a long while after that. Thoughts kept swimming through my brain; what was she doing on Alternia? What could have provoked her to come back from conquering other planets?

The rain had finally slowed to a bearable weight, and I ran from my hiding spot, sprinting all the way back to my hive.

O&O

"Hey Crabdad. Glad to see you didn't completely fucking destroy the house…" I said as I walked through the door and into the living room. There was overturned furniture and shattered vases littering the ground as I walked through, inspecting my hive. I sighed and walked up the stairs to take a shower. Crabdad was sleeping in my room on the giant pile of blankets I had made for John to sleep on. I frowned at the pile and turned away toward the bathing room, refusing to think about it.

The hot water hit my cold skin, a steamy shock to my system. I shuddered and let the water flow down my body. I never felt calmer than I did taking a shower; the hot water always felt so good and never failed to relieve all my pent-up tension. But no matter how hard, I couldn't stop thinking about what the Condesce had said, or worrying about John. I mean, he had to be the most abominable of abominations on Alternia. Fuck, he wasn't even Trollian! So what if it was John the Condesce was talking about? What would that mean for him? Would she be able to find him so quickly? Would she…would she really cull him?

I shuddered at the thought; no, there was no way that John would die, not so soon after I'd got him back. Getting out of the shower, I wrapped a towel around my waist and shook my head to rid it of the treacherous water that now dripped down my body. My dark hair was clinging to my face as I walked back into my room to find Crabdad curled up, sound asleep, amidst John pile of blankets. I sighed as I walked past him, drying my hair off with a stray towel.

"At least I'll have nice dreams tonight. No more bloody nightmares for me!" I sing-songed as I hopped into my reacouperacon. I held my breath and dove under the slime, sighing contentedly as the gooey liquid slid of my skin. I took a deep breath as I surfaced from the slim and felt my eyes growing steadily heavier the longer I stayed in. I turned over and closed my eyes; thinking only of John Egbert, and how I would have to apologize to him tomorrow.

The darkness was grey, there was filtered light coming from above, but I couldn't see what for. I turned around and around, trying to find my way out. The further I walked, the darker it got, until I couldn't see anything in front of me. It was at this point that I realized I wasn't alone. There was another voice somewhere close by, and it sounded familiar; I began to walk towards it. The closer I got, the clearer the voice became until I recognized it as my moirail.

"I am so motherfucking sorry, bro. so motherfucking sorry. I….I don't think he's motherfuckin there anymore. Just go home and get some motherfuckin rest for that miraculous little head of yours, all right?" there was a shuffling noise, and a sniffle, and I realized that Gamzee must've been crying. But who was he talking to? And why would he be crying? Gamzee never cries…not unless it's about Goatdad.

"But I have to know, Gamzee! Please tell me! Is he okay? Is he hurt? I can't….I feel so horrible! I need to know that he's safe." There was a second voice, high pitched and worried. This was the person that had been crying, not Gamzee. I kept walking towards them. Who where they talking about? Who was the other guy? The heart-wrenching sob that suddenly came from the Gamzee's voice stopped me dead in my tracks. His loud, rough baritone voice echoed through the darkness as he cried, making the most pitiful sounds.

"G-Gamzee? What happened?!" the others' voice trembled in panic; something had gone horribly, horribly wrong. Gamzee continued to sob, but through his guttural cries he spoke words that sent painful shivers down my spine.

"H-he…y-you left! You motherfuckin left you wicked motherfucker, and h-he was so sad! I couldn't even get him to leave your motherfuckin hive for one miraculous minute! A-and the drones…" I cringed at the mention of the drones. Those things always scared the fuck out of me. But the talking had stopped, there was silence once again. I continued to walk forward, wishing desperately to see Gamzee, to console him. My moirail was in pain and I needed to be there to help him. What kind of a sick fuck would I be if I didn't?

And just as suddenly as the darkness had enveloped me, it was gone. Instead I was in a brightly lit room…more like a hallway, actually. The walls were painted a bright yellow and the rug covering the floor was a deep purple. I frowned. This room looked really familiar. I walked along the hallway until I saw the open doorway. It was pouring rain, and explicitly dark outside; the violet moonlight was not in sight, only the artificial lights hung above the two forms, kneeling in front of each other in the door way. I looked down, but the images started off blurry. I squinted, walking closer. The figures were bent over one another, trembling with arms wrapped around shoulders. I squinted more, and suddenly it all came into focus. Gamzee's purple-laced tears were pouring down his surprisingly make-up-free face, his whole body trembling and shaking with his open-mouthed sobs. The other figure was just a mass of messy black hair, blue clothing, and pink skin. There were no horns protruding from his head. His face tilted up to meet Gamzee's and I noticed his red-rimmed eyes, puffy lids, slobbery mouth, and wet cheeks. John. John. John why are you crying?

I ran towards my friends and tried to rap my arms around them, tried to console them, but my body went right threw theirs, leaving a sinking feeling in my stomach. I looked up from my new place on the floor; Gamzee and John's whole body's were wracked with sorrowful tears, but I couldn't hear a thing; there was complete silence all around me. And somehow, that was far worse than the darkness.

Q&Q

I shot up, slime dripping down my back and sloshing out of my reacouperacon. My hands were trembling and my heart was racing in my chest. I tried to calm down, but the image of Gamzee and John crying without any noise stuck to my brain like glue.

I looked to my side to find that Crabdad had woken up and was rustling around downstairs. I sighed and shook my head as I got out of the slime-encrusted pod. There was more rustling and knocking around coming from downstairs, a distinct clacking noise, and a pounding at the door. I groaned and looked around for the towel I'd thrown away earlier. I wrapped it around my waist lazily and ran down the stairs. Crabdad was making a fucking mess out of the hive, knocking things over as he ran around in a panic.

"Calm the FUCK down you shit brained good-for-nothing asswipe! I'm getting the fucking door; sorry if it woke you from your merciful beauty sleep CRAB PRINCESS!" I yelled at my crustacean custodian. I swear to Gog if this is Gamzee this early in the morning…

The knocking at the door became more persistent and annoying. I growled and stomped over, slamming the door open.

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WA-Oof!" I grunted as a body came slamming into mine, toppling me to the floor. I squeaked and tried pushing the body off me, but it just clung tighter. I took a deep breath to calm down and look at the figure that came barging through my door. There was grayish skin, but white, bitten-down nails. There was messy black hair, but no horns. I frowned and tried once more to push the unknown figure off me. All I got in reply was a sniffle and a muffled, "I'm sorry Karkat!" I grunted and lifted the head up, recognizing the voice. And there was John; face blotched with grey make-up and rain water running down his face. I rolled my eyes and tried standing up, when I realized to my horror, that I was dressed in nothing but my towel and some spoor slime. The towel conveniently decided to fall off a bit as I stood. I immediately turned around, cheeks on fire.

Shitshitshitshitshitshitshit shitSHIT!

"I…um…I'm going to go find the couch and you can go get your butts. NO! I mean pants-I mean….Shit!" I felt my cheeks get even hotter as John babbled behind me.

"Couch is in the room behind you." I muttered before quickly dashing up the stairs, my whole face tomato-red with embarrassment.

JOHN SAW MY ASS!

Hahahahaha! What do you guys think?! Sorry again it was so late! Leave me a review to let me know how bad/good (poopy) it was? Please? :D