Disclaimer: I own NOTHING except my OC. Credit goes to the respective owners. I tried to make a sketch of what Ayame looks like so please see my profile for her picture.

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A/N: Reedited 02/15/18

Errors and Dialogues fixed for better reading.

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Chapter XI: A Past Forgotten

"The world has been painted red. It's already at a stage where it cannot be changed back..."

-Yukki Cross (Vampire Knight Guilty)-

--*--

"Agh!" Kaneki yelped painfully before he was sent to the ground with a swipe from Touka's Ukaku.

It was a little after the shop closed when Touka decided to drag Kaneki into another one of their sparring. After my little outburst the other day, Kaneki, against his will, finally agreed that it was alright if I watched them train.

Of course, Touka was against this at first but after much persuasion mostly on my part, she finally relented with the lingering threat of slicing me to pieces if word of this got out.

Even if it is dangerous for a human to trust a ghoul, I just felt this odd feeling that she may mean well but she wouldn't lift a finger at me. I guess Uta is right, I really do have to learn to know where I belong. I know what he's trying to say from that warning the other day but I guess you could call me a reckless and stubborn person.

So what if the danger is there… I just have more faith in them that's all and even if I don't know when I may die, I just know that it won't be in the hands of these people. That's how much I trust them. That is why I know full well that even if Touka threatens me each day, I know she wouldn't hurt me.

"You coward…should I break more of your fingers? How can you even call that a Rinkaku?" Touka glared.

Seeing as I was watching them train, it was easy for me to pick up on some of the ghoul terms they kept on mentioning.

Apparently, a Kakugan was the weird thing that ghouls have that makes their eyes turn like that. When I asked for what purpose it was, Touka just glared at me. Of course, even though she refused to mention anything about it, Kaneki was still kind enough to explain to me the basics of a ghoul's body which only made her even more upset.

The Kagune, which I already guessed was a ghoul's predatory organ, actually took me by surprise when Kaneki mentioned that there were different types and so, out of curiosity, I asked him multiple questions about it while we both tried our best to ignore Touka who was already boring holes into me with those eyes of hers.

"So an Ukaku is a speedy ghoul? Meaning they are light fighters but because of this they have low stamina?" I ask when we decided to take a break while I continued to picture Touka's wing-like kagune that danced in the dark like a one-winged angel.

Kaneki nodded as he took my notebook and began to sketch the diagram of the kagune's hierarchy. "Usually an Ukaku-type has a kagune that appears on the back. Due to their ability to shoot projectile-like spikes from afar, they are mostly long-ranged fighters," Kaneki explained before wincing in pain when Touka hit him on the head.

"Idiot! Do you really intend to tell a human about our secrets?" She asked angrily but went unheard when I grabbed her by the hands and begged her to show me once again her kagune.

"What? Like I'll listen to you!" She hissed.

"But please, Touka-chan! I want to see those wings that dance in the night! The way the colors mesh in the dark makes it look like you're dancing!" I complimented which made her blush and look away. "Sh-shut up! No means no." She stuttered and stomped off leaving me to pout at her lack of enthusiasm to show me.

I mean, what's the harm in showing it to me the second time?

"Hey, Kaneki. Touka called yours a Rinkaku. What did she mean by that? Is yours different?" I turn to Kaneki before he scratched the back of his head and nodded weakly with a strained smile.

I guess calling it 'his' kagune was still a foreign word to him since he did 'obtain' it from Rize and it wasn't really his to begin with… I frowned immediately at the thought and quickly apologized for saying something so inconsiderate to him.

"No it's fine. Besides, I'll get used to it," he managed to say, to which an awkward silence engulfed us soon afterwards. Me and my big mouth…

I decided to sit next to him and looked at the sketch, hoping somehow to avoid making this anymore gloomy than it already is. "So an Ukaku is weak to Koukaku? What's a Koukaku then?"

Kaneki gave me a soft sigh and a light smile, knowing full well that I was trying to ease the conversation. I guess he really means that much to me, it's like there's this odd string that connects us and makes us empathize with one another.

It's the same thing Hide did to me when we were talking about Kaneki and my dilemma at his sudden announcement to keep away from him and Anteiku. It was like Hide was reading through me then and was trying to assure me that all I had to do was to try believe more in Kaneki.

Likewise, I also empathized with Hide's loneliness and it was because of that that we made a promise to watch over Kaneki as friends. I laugh inwardly to myself at the thought and a light smile played on my lips.

"Are you listening, Ayame-san?" Kaneki's voice snapped me back to reality. I turned to him and apologized which made him sigh.

I laughed at his defeated face making him pout which this time made me turn pink. Did he really have to play at me like that? Back then, I would hit him or laugh at him when he did that but how come… how come… this time, I found that side of him cute just now?!

"Really… let me repeat what I just said. Koukaku's are released below the shoulder blade. I heard from Yoshimura-san that a Koukaku is heavy and extremely tough. Of all the kagunes, they have the greatest sturdiness and are especially suited for defense." He explained as he drew a sloppy rendition of a human back and started to list down the Ukaku and Koukaku on the location of the shoulder and below the shoulder blades respectively.

"And here…" He trailed off as he wrote the Rinkaku on the position of the back of the waist.

"Is where the Rinkaku is. It has an appearance similar to scaled tentacles and Yoshimura-san told me that they have powerful regenerative abilities that some of them could even survive the most critical damage done to them. Its peculiar appearance and structure yield a superior striking power, making them excellent in brute strength. Some users, according to Yoshimura-san, are able to manipulate the shape of their kagune, such as changing its usual tentacle form into swords or claws."

"Though to be honest, even if I am a Rinkaku-user, I still can't seem to see how that's possible since I can't even do anything with mine but bring it out." Kaneki sheepishly sighs in embarrassment but I assure him that he'll be able to do it someday.

I know I said that I hated the idea of him going through with this, but I knew I had no choice. If I stopped him, it would only hinder him. Ghouls are even more dangerous than humans, due to the fact that they are willing to eat their own kind to survive.

I wouldn't want some random ghoul eating my friend for dinner. Even if he's willing to protect Anteiku now, just knowing that he'll be there for us even though we walk on different worlds is enough to assure me. As his human friend, this was the least that I could do. To hope and pray that deep in my heart, he would still want to be by our side.

"I guess the last one is a Bikaku then? I overheard from Yoshimura-san that that Nishio guy was one." I frowned when the memories of that time invaded my mind. I could see Kaneki deep in thought too but he erased the expression quickly as he scribbled the name at the tail bone of the drawing.

That's right, that Nishio-guy is not going to hurt us. Kaneki made sure of that when he whipped his ass. I laughed at the thought but made no comment because even though it was a day to celebrate it was also the day that Kaneki nearly killed Hide and I had Touka not appeared. I didn't want to make him be more painfully aware of this side of him so I tried to erase those thoughts as well and listened to him explain.

"A Bikaku is good for medium-distance attacks and has decent offense, defense and speed. Thus, they have no notable strengths or weaknesses, meaning the kagune itself is treated as a surprise trump card. Also it has better speed and durability against the brute-force, breakable Rinkaku, allowing them to cut off the rinkaku's kagune. However, a Bikaku will be overwhelmed by the faster Ukaku-user and will lose against the Ukaku's long-range attacks." Kaneki ended his explanation as I stared in awe at the different kagunes that he drew.

"It's like a rock-paper-scissor thing then? I mean, an Ukaku which is light and fast is weak against the tank-like defense of the Koukaku. Likewise the Koukaku's defense is only destroyed by the fast healing yet brute Rinkaku. Although they are fast healers, Rinkaku's are weak to the onslaught of the balanced Bikaku who can incapacitate their kagune's in a few attacks. Bikaku's may be the balanced one of the group but their only flaw is the quick actions of the Ukaku. It's like a cycle and it'll be easy to remember." I grin proudly at having easily remembered what Kaneki explained.

"I didn't think you were going to be in on this so it is quite a surprised when you asked me." Kaneki laughed. Glad to at least know that he's lightening up again.

"Quite a surprise really, but if you really want to know so much about us. Why not help us out in something as compensation for knowing that kind of info." Both of us cringed at the ominous sound of Touka's voice and we both gulped when we saw her glaring at us. I could feel the color draining from my face as she continued to walk to us with that angry look on her face.

"Nooo!" We both shouted in fear before the whole scene suddenly turned black.

--*--

I sighed when I looked at my watch for the nth time. Twenty minutes had already passed and still no Touka to be found. Kaneki and I were scared shitless when she approached us yesterday but all she did was tell us to meet her tomorrow by the subway before stalking off, which made us worried and curious at the same time.

I wonder what horrible punishment does she mean to give us?

"Do you think she plans to skin us alive?" I mutter in horror which made Kaneki pale.

"I-I doubt it…"

"Why do you sound like you're not so sure? Don't tell me she's done it before?"

"Oi." We both shouted at the same time and turned to Touka who was holding three paper bags with her. Could it be that inside those are the torture devices she'd use on us?!

"T-touka-chan? Y-you're early to-," Kaneki stuttered and then stopped when he saw the paper bag she was carrying.

"What's in those bags?" He asked worriedly and I was about to await her answer that it was for torture but my eyes widened when the answer left her lips.

"Clothes of course. Here!" She tossed the bags at us and I quickly checked and sighed in relief. Looks like she wasn't lying this time. But what sparked my curiosity was why she was giving us school uniforms.

"Come on, Ayame. Get changed into those Kaneki!" Touka waved him off before she took me by the hand and dragged me to the girl's bathroom to get dressed.

--*--

"Any reason why we have to wear these, Touka-chan?" I asked when we reached the bathroom and I began to undress myself.

Touka merely grunted as she pulled off her shirt and pants, before turning to me as she put on the skirt that reached till her mid-thigh. "I'll explain it when we get there so hurry up and get changed."

I pouted at her simple answer before I put on the skirt and began to lift my inner shirt off. The moment I removed the clothing, I noticed Touka looking at me weirdly which made me uncomfortable.

Does my body look bad or something?

"If I heard correctly, Kaneki attacked you when he first turned into a ghoul. Bit you on the shoulder right? But it's odd to see that there doesn't seem to be any source of that wound now. For a few months, I'm surprised you heal that quick," she couldn't help but say.

I tilted my head curiously, wondering if she was turning blind or something. "What are you talking about? The scar is right-," I was about to point and gasped when I saw the woundless shoulder glaring at me from the bathroom mirror.

"N-no way?" I gasp, trying to feel for the scar only for my fingers to meet with nothing but smooth skin.

"How is this even possi-,"

"Are you guys done yet?" I could hear Kaneki call out and I see Touka giving me a suspicious look before she quickly dressed into her uniform.

"W-wait!" I tried to stop her, her eyes unable to meet mine but I had to speak. To tell her that I was just as confused as well. "I'm just as confused as you but please-," I begged her, my grip on her hand tightening. "Don't tell Kaneki. I don't know how or why- or is it possible that- but let me tell him..."

"I don't know what you're trying to achieve no, - nevermind. Although I don't want to judge too early but…" Touka trailed off and shook her head as she helped me fix my tie. I must've sounded desperate, my words obviously incoherent for her to understand.

"Is it possible that saliva can alone can make you a ghoul?" I couldn't help but ask her, her eyes widening in surprise at my question. She probably didn't expect me to actually ask but pity was obvious in her eyes when she responded.

"Let's go. It's up to you whether or not you want to be truthful." She merely sighs to which I could only nod absent-mindedly in reply, ignoring the fact that she didn't answer my question considering that my mind was still in shock at what I had just seen.

Just- just what on earth is going on?

I was internally panicking now, wondering if maybe I was wrong and that I really was just a fast healer. I mean, I did try my best to conceal it so that it wouldn't look too suspicious to the prying eyes.

Or maybe it was those pills Dr. Kanou prescribed? I mean he did say it was for injuries. Even if I didn't tell him about the wounds, there is still a chance that the medicine also helped heal the bite mark Kaneki gave me...

Yes, maybe that's the case... I mean, if I had indeed turned into a ghoul then surely I would've already felt the signs- the hunger and lust to hunt. So far, nothing has happened so it could all be a false alarm. Maybe it's all just a case of paranoia, considering the events that have been happening to us, I wouldn't be surprised that all of us are on edge lately.

I should just stay calm - there's obviously nothing to worry about.

The moment I put on the shoes, I emerged from the bathroom and blinked when I saw that Kaneki was nowhere to be found. I saw Touka calling for me and that was when I noticed that she was with some guy who had unruly black hair.

'Hm, looks like-,' I thought and stopped midsentence and pointed in shock at Kaneki.

"Y-you look different," I say in surprise which made Touka huff in pride at her ability to 'disguise' us.

"Is it that bad?' Kaneki asked worriedly and I patted him on the shoulder. "Nah, not really. You look like a normal high-school student." I grin while avoiding Touka's apprehensive gaze at me.

No use telling Kaneki about it right now. No doubt he'd get worry and start to think if ghoul's can transmit via saliva too. I don't want to bring up old wounds and I hope Touka can understand that for now. Besides, it's been a long time since that incident happened so it's no surprise that the wound would heal by itself.

--*--

"Would you explain this already, Touka-chan? Making us wear a uniform, messing my hair up… what the hell is going on-," Kaneki kept on asking since we left the subway and continued to walk towards the business district of Tokyo. I was about to pipe in too but stopped when Touka finally paused and looked up. We followed her gaze and there before us loomed a tall building that shone in the afternoon light.

"CCG?" I question as I stare at the nameplate that stood not too far from the building. Next to it was a huge bulletin board that had a lot of papers attached to it. Touka followed my gaze and walked on over to it while motioning us to follow.

"The Commission on Counter Ghoul. That is what this place is called," she merely answered and my eyes widened when the pieces finally connected.

"D-don't me you're planning to go in there?" Kaneki panicked to which Touka scoffed and shook her head.

"Not 'you're' it's 'we're'," she corrected us as she began to read through the papers posted on the bulletin board.

"Look at this," she added and my eyes began to read the different names on the board. The Binge Eater…. Gourmet… wait- My eyes stayed rooted on one particular paper and I felt my blood turn cold. Touka seemed to notice my gaze as she ripped the paper I was staring at and handed it to Kaneki.

"This is a wanted list for Hinami. Usually the doves get information from ordinary people so this is where our plan begins. Today, we are students from Shuuyuu High. I'll do the talking and the two of you will act as the yes-man." She planned as we walked towards the huge building.

I could see Kaneki fidget worriedly and wondered if it was because he was having a hard time trying to adjust to the fact that he wasn't wearing an eye-patch today? I felt myself frown since, back then, he never really worried about things like that when he was still… human.

"Act natural." Touka warned the moment we entered the vicinity and my senses quickly went into overdrive as I scanned the many suited men that walked by while trying to act like a natural high school student.

"Hello how may I help you?" The lady in the booth greeted and that was when Touka began her act while showing the poster of Hinami's description to the lady.

"The person in-charge is on their way so please take your seat and wait." The lady bowed as she motioned to a guest lounge near the exit. My eyes continued to take in the office's landscape before they fell onto a weird contraption that resembled a metal detector.

I was about to dismiss it as one but when I saw a police officer with a gun enter, it made me curios as to why it didn't sound an alarm. If CCG is really meant for countering ghouls then I find it weird that they have such lousy security if that was the case.

"Hey, Touka-chan. What's that gate for?" As if reading my mind, Kaneki voiced out his question and Touka's eyes followed our gaze to the gate where the doves darted in and out.

Her face turned dark before she answered. "It's an RC Scan Gate. I don't understand it that well but usually ghouls have a higher Rc factor that is ten times than that of humans. When those cell readings are examined, a ghoul can be found out in just one try. It seems that that gate can elicit a response that's why ghouls can only go so far as this. They aren't widely used since they are very expensive but it seems major companies have already started adopting it," she explained.

I thought about how this technology could affect ghouls like Touka and those in Anteiku. No doubt if this technology were to become successful then-

"If that happens, we'll retreat back into the underground…" Touka finished and my head snapped up to meet with her eyes.

What is this feeling? Why is it that somehow, I felt as if I wanted them to win this battle of theirs against the humans?

'Even if you're a human too? Are you condemning your kind to such a life?' My inner thought asked me to which I shook my head. No that's not it… I wouldn't wish for the humans to die and let the ghouls rule. It'll be no different if that were to happen.

I know it's impossible but why can't both side just get along? I know it's an impossible wish but there are times I really wished that someone as insignificant as me could at least be able to do something to prevent ghouls like Ryouko-san from dying and at the same time prevent ghouls from hunting down innocent humans…

"Sorry for waiting. Oh, what cute informants we have here!" I snapped back to reality when I saw a very cheerful woman approach us with a pen and notebook in hand. Touka began her story whereas Kaneki and I continued to act as her yes-man.

My eyes continued to observe the lady before us and wondered to myself if she's killed ghouls before too. Seeing her cheerfulness, I deduced she didn't because her eyes held no sort of emptiness that could kill a living being with just a swipe of their blade.

"I heard the mother ghoul was already eliminated by two elite investigators from the main branch so I think they'll find the escaped ghoul soon," I overheard her say and I bit my lip wondering why she could say something like killing a mother and daughter to be something like that of an animal being hunted down.

Was my observation about her wrong? Could she really kill?

"Is that so? What a relief but… killing such a young child seems a bit heartbreaking, doesn't it?" Touka replied, her gaze as she stared at the lady before us emitting a sense of controlled anger in them.

I reached out to grasp her hand discreetly, her darkened eyes turning to me. I nod to her in reassurance, reminding her of why we were doing this. Hinami wasn't dangerous, after all. If so, then I was willing to put my life down for her. That's why Touka couldn't lose her cool here. She was all that Hinami had left and after all the loss the little girl had been through- I couldn't afford to let her lose Touka too.

Of course, the woman didn't seem to share in our sentiment when she spoke. "It's okay because ghouls aren't humans. Since we have concerns that they might cause us harm then it's natural for us to want to destroy them."

I could see the look of horror on Kaneki and Touka's faces as all three of us stared at this woman who could smile so earnestly and yet say something so horrible. I guess my observation about her was wrong then… this woman, no, this entire place seems to be ignorant to a ghoul's real life.

Don't tell me -that back then- I was like this too? That I was actually part of this ignorant society that didn't care what happened to the ghouls so long as they didn't harm us. I cursed at myself for being naive then as we got up to leave after talking with the woman. I cast her one last look and felt relieved that the me 'now' will never end up like her.

For the sake of every ghoul who accepted me and for letting me see their 'human' side, then I'll make a more valiant effort to help them. This new world that Kaneki himself wished to protect too, even if there are times I will doubt this decision of mine, if it is for the people who took us in like family then I will protect them.

-*Thud*-

I felt like hitting something or someone and fell to the ground on my butt. I cringed in pain as I massaged the sore spot and looked up to see an old man with long white hair and dressed in a long grey trench coat looking down on me. The moment our eyes met, I felt my body grow numb and my mind turn blank as fear began to grasp me tightly. This man… somehow he seems familiar as if I've seen him somewhere before. A flash, like a jolt of electricity, pierced my memory as an unfamiliar scene replayed in my mind.

"Mom? Where are they?" I asked, my feet dangling on the very tall chair as I stared at the back of a woman with long black hair that reached till the small of her back.

The woman stopped wiping the cup and set it down before she turned to me, her violet eyes trying its best to seem assuring.

"They're out… looking for food. I'm sure they'll be home soon so be more patient okay, Ayame-chan," the woman spoke calmly at me and I felt myself bubble with excitement at the thought of the surprise they might bring home for me.

-*knock* *knock*-

My head snapped excitedly to the door and wondered if maybe they had finally come home. I quickly slid off my chair and ran to open the door, not caring when my mother called out to me.

I twisted the knob and was about to shout 'welcome home' when an unfamiliar man stood in front of me, his clothes covered in red. I tilted my head, wondering who he was and why they were carrying a briefcase with them.

"Ayame-chan I told you to-," I could hear my mom say before the sound of shattering glass made me turn to see that she had dropped the cup. A feeling of worry settled in my stomach as I stared at my mother who had a mix of fear, anger and rage in her eyes.The man behind me chuckled as he patted me on the head and handed me a sack that felt heavy when I held it.

"Your dad and I have been good acquaintances. Seeing as he was still busy doing an errand, he decided that I hand this to you seeing as you were looking forward for his surprise. Rest assured, your brother will be looking forward for your reaction too." The man smiled and I grinned excitedly wondering what surprise they had in store for me.

"No… wait, Ayame-," My mother tried to stop me but it was too late.

Staring right back at me with dead and hollow eyes was none other than my father, his hair covered in dirt and his face as pale as snow. My body shook as I dropped the sack and his head rolled out of it causing my mother to scream out like a wolf howling in the cold and lonely night.

It sounded heart-breaking like my entire body was being ripped apart.The man behind me laughed maniacally as he waved his briefcase and it turned into a blade that shone in multi-colored arrays of blue, green and red. My mom only howled louder, tears stinging her eyes as she glared at the man.

"A human harboring a ghoul and not only that, to think you even had two children with such a creature. Such a vile human being. I look forward to punishing filthy animals like you. I wonder how he would react though? When he realizes that I killed you with his own kagune!" He laughed and was about to swing it at me. My eyes could only watch in horror as my mother pushed me back and the blade ran through her chest, blood splattering over my face as she turned to me and said only one word.

"R-run…" A loud thud resounded in our home as my mother collapsed on the ground, blood pooling the floor. I back away from my mother's lifeless body, her final words taking time to react before I heard the man laugh before me.

"A ghoul crying for her parents? How pathetic. I find it disgusting that ghouls would imitate humans. But rest assured, you'll be joining your mom and dad soon when I'm through with you and then... your brother will be next." He walked to me and was about to raise his sword when-,

"Ayame-san?!" My mind snapped back to reality and saw Kaneki and Touka looking at me worriedly. I scanned the place we were in and wondered why we were outside of CCG.

Since when did we get out?

"Are you alright? You've been spacing out ever since you bumped into that man. For a minute I thought I saw fear in your eyes. Do you know that man?" Touka concerned voice asked me to which I was about to answer her when something stopped me.

For some odd reason I know I did recall something but I just can't seem to remember it. It had something to do with that old man but all I can elicit from his face was an odd sense of fear. I could still feel my body shaking from seeing him and wondered to myself why I would be afraid of someone I had just met?

"I- I don't know really know why. Must be because he was a dove and it set me on edge to know we were so close to one," I could only say seeing as I really had no reason as to why the man gave me so much fear when I saw him. Touka and Kaneki seemed to accept my answer, considering the fact that I was really honest when I said that I don't really know why the man scared me.

"Anyways, we should thank the half bastard here for saving us." Touka-chan huffed as she pointed to Kaneki who scratched the back of his embarrassingly.

"That man tried to get us to go through the Rc Scan. Seeing as you were out for a minute, he grabbed Kaneki and for some odd reason the Rc Scan detected him as 'clean'. I don't care how he did it but that guy just saved us from a whole lot of trouble," she explained as she quickly walked away.

Kaneki followed suite and it took me a while to follow as my eyes turned back to the tower of CCG; I shook my head and turned away, ignoring the throbbing in my head as if someone was drilling into it.

-Back in CCG (3rd Person)-

"Mado-san," a voice called out and the man with white-hair and dressed in a grey trench coat turned to face his partner.

"Amon-kun." He acknowledged the young man with black hair. The man eyed him curiously, wondering why his superior was just standing in the same spot for quite a while. Due to the death of his fellow comrade he assumed that his superior would accompany him to the wake but clearly that wasn't the case.

"Why are you in a place like this?" He questioned and the man name Mado just curiously stared at the doors to CCG before answering his partner. "Well… there were three students who came to give information earlier. I knew immediately something was up with them. I took the boy who couldn't calm down through the gate for a check but it seems somehow I was mistaken. I wonder if it's a sign that I am already getting old?"

Besides those two curious kids, the third one caught his interest as well. "Those eyes. I've seen them somewhere before," he said to himself as he pictured that girl's image into his mind. That black hair and those violet eyes, he just couldn't seem to quite pinpoint where he had seen them before.

'Maybe checking the database might shed some light,' he thought to himself as he waved his partner a quick good-bye and strode towards his office.

-To be Continued-

Looks like Mado is somehow connected to Ayame and here we see a portion of her past before her adoption. I'm glad that a lot of people consider this a good fic and it makes me want to try harder to appease everyone as I continue to write it. If ever there are OOCs please do not hesitate to tell me seeing as I am trying my best to get everyone in-character. Last thing I need is to spoil it by making them too OOC. Thank you for the support and I hope I can make everyone enjoy this fic more.Fave and Review Guys!