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Chapter Eleven

I stayed as busy as possible with Danny gone. Distraction seemed to be the key to getting through the days. There was school; graduation was just around the corner, piano lessons (Mrs. Russell was now convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt that my talent at the instrument was exceptional) and above all, Charlotte. Her constant chatter and bumpy relationship with Billy proved to be the perfect diversion from the absence of my own boyfriend. On a sunny afternoon in late March when Danny had only been gone a couple of weeks, she was giving me an earful on the walk home from school about Billy's acceptance to Tennessee State on a basketball scholarship.

"He's so excited, Emily, but I just don't know, Nashville is so far away."

"You want to stay with him then?" I asked, kicking at a rock on the dusty road that led to my house. The same road I had walked along with Danny on our first date.

"Of course! Don't you want to stay with Danny?"

"What kind of question is that? Of course I do."

"How many schools have you applied to?" she challenged.

"State," I replied, fully aware that wouldn't satisfy her curiosity.
"That's it?"

The truth was, that yes, I had only applied to the one school. All those years of aspiring to get out of Shelby and make something special of myself now seemed unimportant to me. I had once dreamed of attending Sarah Lawrence in New York. It was my dream school, but though I had filled out the application I had forgotten or rather neglected to send it. The urge was strong to stay close to home. To stay close to Danny. Time was running out too.

"Emily, I do believe you're not only in love, but love struck. Watch you marry Danny as soon as he's safely back over the county border and have the first of many babies nine months later. You're going to forget how to spell the word "college" and spend the next ten years scrubbing baby vomit off of your dresses."

I kicked her for that and she laughed. Luckily for her, only my best friend could get away with talking to me like that. We continued towards my house, stopping at the mailbox at the front of the drive on our way. I reached in and pulled out the bundle, leafing through it quickly, which had admittedly become a habit since Danny had left. I hadn't received any letters from him yet, but I knew they were coming.

And then on the bottom of the pile, there it was! I shoved the other letters into my bag and clutched the envelope with his clear, bold handwriting on the front.

"Oh, finally!" Charlotte exclaimed with a mixture of excitement and mockery. "Open it, you Ninny! What does it say?"

Thankful for an understanding friend, I practically ripped the envelope open and unfolded the letter.

Emily,

I promised you letters and here is the first. I arrived in Atlanta a few days ago and well, what can I say, the city is something to see. After Shelby, it's kind of a shock seeing cars, tall buildings, and so many people all going somewhere in a big hurry. My Uncle George is great. He's married to my Aunt Pauline who you would love and I've met my mom's older sister, my Aunt Wilma who's married to my Uncle Hal. They're all wonderful people and welcomed me with open arms. I guess being nervous about meeting them was kind of stupid. I have cousins too…a lot of them! Rich, my Uncle George's son is a year younger than me. He and I get along pretty well. He's taken me around the city to see the sites and has told me a lot about my grandparents…they both passed away about ten years ago. I was a bit upset when I found that out, but the past is the past. I would have liked to have met them, but I'm going to try and not dwell on the fact that I didn't.

George and Pauline, well they're pretty well to do. He's a chief engineer at one of the factories here. After noticing my interest in planes he offered me a job, can you believe that? I almost laughed out loud. Rafe probably would have taken it up in a heartbeat. I guess my mind is set on more important things right now though.

Like you.

I miss you, Em. God, you have no idea how much I miss you.

"Maybe I should stop listening now…or you should stop reading." Charlotte laughed. "Sounds like we're getting into some lovey dovey talk."

I smiled, "Probably."

Then, just as a best friend should, she gave me a wink and ran ahead towards the house, seeing Brett standing on the porch with his girlfriend Susan, who had come for dinner, talking to Rafe. Thankful, I went back to the letter, reading slowly as I walked.

I think about you all the time, wishing you could have come with me. You would love this place and I would love showing it to you. There's so much to do and see, but I can only enjoy it so much without you here next to me. Soon though, I'll be home soon.

All my love,

Danny

I smiled to myself, folding the letter up and putting it back in its envelope. Rafe was eyeing me as I finally approached the porch, coming to stand next to Charlotte.

"Get a letter?"

"Yeah."

"How is he?" Susan asked.

"Fine. He says his family is nice."

"I had a feeling they would be." She replied with a smile.

I told them all about the rest of the letter, well the non "lovey dovey" parts, and then we chatted about other things before Charlotte and I went in the house. I hung up my bag, taking the rest of the mail out of the pocket and laying it on the table in the hall. Charlotte took me into the living room and we sat down on the floor by the coffee table.

"Look what I got at the Five 'n Dime. Nail polish! Give me your hand; I want to test it out on you."

"Why—" but she grabbed my hand and laid it flat on the table, opening the bottle of bright red polish that I knew was going to give my father a heart attack. I let her paint though and listened to her gossip at the same time. The front door opened and shut and Rafe, Brett and Susan came into the house. Rafe paused in the hall to look through the stack of mail and Susan came in and sat of the sofa, watching Charlotte. My brother's girlfriend was a pretty one. She and Brett had been dating since they were in school. Her hair was a beautiful dark red, though her face was free of freckles. She was curvy, but not overly so, something I knew that made the guys do second and even third glances when she walked by. She was a Dear though and I had always liked her.

"Hey, Shrimp, what's this?" Rafe asked, the question ever so lovingly directed towards me.

"What?" I asked, not taking my eyes off of my nails for fear Charlotte would smudge.

"I got a letter too."

"Sorry, I didn't notice. From who?"

"Danny!"

That made me look over at him, "Oh."

He grumbled and began to open the letter.

"I love this color." Susan spoke up, "Charlotte would you do mine next?"

"Sure. What do you think, Em?"

"I think…" I held my finished hands up. "I think my father is going to think I'm channeling a French woman of the night."

She and Susan both laughed. Besides Brett, who was standing right next to him, none of us noticed Rafe's shocked expression as he read Danny's letter or that he quietly walked out of the room when he was done.

Susan and Brett of course, stayed for dinner. Mom's pork chops and greens smelled delicious and I was eager to sit down and make myself a plate, but after grace was said Brett cleared his throat and looked at Rafe and me.

"What?" Rafe asked his plate already three quarters of the way full.

"We've got something to say." Brett said, reaching for Susan's hand.

"So say it." Rafe replied. "And be quick about it, I'm hungry."

"We're getting married." Brett told him, beaming from ear to ear. Susan was smiling brightly too.

"That's wonderful!" I exclaimed and reached over to Susan to embrace her. "I'll finally have a sister! When? Have you decided on a day?"

Brett's gaze cut to Susan quickly. "Well, we're not really worried about a big shin dig. We'd rather just get it out of the way. Probably next week sometime."

"Get it out of the way? Sue, really? You only get married once."

I detected a hint of guilt in her eyes and maybe a touch regret as well. She squeezed Brett's hand tighter and then smiled again, "Yes, the sooner the better."

On my other side, Rafe tried to hide a snort of laughter under his hand. Then I noticed the expression on my parent's faces and there was no mistaking the disappointment I saw. It took a moment for me to realize why they were getting married so fast. Susan was pregnant.

Rafe could hide his amusement no longer. "Nice going, Brett. Her Daddy got the shot gun out, didn't he?"

"Shut up, Rafe!" Brett countered.

"Enough!" my father said. "They've made a mistake, but they're owning up to it and doing the right thing. And that's the last I want to hear on that subject."

My mother didn't say anything.

The tension in the air was thicker than a brick. I looked back at Susan, whose face was now fallen, and Brett who now had an arm around her. I knew they loved one another, I knew they had planned to get married, but babies changed everything. I wanted to say something, anything to change the mood that had set in around the table. My parents, I gathered, had been told prior to dinner. My mother's silence on the matter told me that was the truth. She seemed torn between wanting to lash out at my brother and crying tears of frustration over the news that her eldest child was making her a grandmother. In the end I said nothing. I feared making my mother upset by doing so, or making Susan feel worse about her situation.

I helped to clear the table after dinner, scraping and washing the dishes, while my mother scrubbed the stove somewhat mercilessly. Again I gave her space and finished my chores as quickly as I could. I was going to escape to my room and do some reading when I passed the opened front door in the hall. Brett was outside sitting on the top step, smoking a cigarette. He must have taken Susan home sometime between the end of our uncomfortable, silent meal and now and come back to the house. I took a breath and walked out onto the porch, closing the screen door quietly behind me. He said nothing as I smoothed the skirt of my dress and sat down next to him.

"You want to talk about it?" I asked him after a giving him a moment.

"There's nothing to talk about." He replied thinly.

I shifted and looked away. He was probably right. It was dusk now. The days were growing longer and the air sweeter with the scent of green and warmth. The setting was kind to my senses and gave me the renewed comfort to look back at him.

"I am happy for you."

He turned to me with a raised eyebrow.

"I really am," I continued, "You and Susan have been going together for years. I'm sure this wasn't the way you planned for things to be, but I know you both wanted to marry and have for some time."

"There's a difference between doing it because you want and doing it because your hands are being forced." He replied. "You should have seen the look on her father's face when I told him. He didn't lay a finger on me, but I practically wet myself watching him throw a glass across the room and scream at me until the rafters shook."

"He'll get over it. They all will. Our parents included."

"Mom will never talk to me again."

"Yes, she will. Don't be silly."

He shook his head and surprisingly released a slight chuckle. "I always thought it would be Rafe who did something like this."

I only paused for a moment before laughing myself. "I can see that."

Then we fell silent. He took a last puff on his cigarette and flicked it out into the driveway. We watched the orange flam of the tip slowly extinguish together before he turned to me,

"You really are happy for us?"

"Yes." I turned my eyes towards the sky. "It's all really simple for you when you think about it. You would have married despite it and you know that. Maybe this is just Gods way of telling you that you were taking too long in doing so."

He smiled, "Maybe. Everything happens for a reason, right?"

"Right."

"Are you going to marry, Danny?"

"It's barely been mentioned." I answered, rather wanting to avoid the subject.

"But you want to."

I sighed deeply. "A year ago if someone would have told me that I would be considering marriage at this moment in my life, I would have laughed. All I thought about for so long was my education. I wanted to go to college, to learn about everything that I could, to see the world…make something spectacular of myself…but now, now all I want is…"

"Him?"

"…Yeah." I took another deep breath. "And I feel like I'm failing myself or disappointing someone if I don't do any of that. I don't care that the future for us is so plainly clear. I don't care that if we do marry that I may never leave this town and that I could turn out like Fannie Harbinger and have five babies over the next seven years. "

"You only live once, Kiddo. It ain't about making other people happy. You are the one that matters the most."

I nodded, even though I didn't believe that notion. There were tears brimming in my eyes and I quickly wiped them away. He was quick to notice though, my brother the ever protective and doting older sibling, and put an arm around me. "People change, dreams change. Don't feel like you've failed just because you are human. You're in love. Sure people make dumb choices when their heads are filled with clouds and naked babies with wings and arrows, but in the end they always get you to where you're supposed to be."

I was openly crying now.

"Stop it," I scolded, "I came out here to comfort you."

He smiled, "We're a mess you and I. Maybe Rafe has the right idea not keeping a girl around longer than two weeks?"

"Don't tell him that. We'll never hear the end of it if he finds out he was right about something."

We both laughed then, me especially, despite my tears. He gave me a tight hug and kissed my forehead. "Marry the boy if he asks, or go to college, wherever you feel like your sails want to take you, I'll be there."

"Thanks, Brett."

"And just to prove to you that you've made me feel one hundred percent better about my predicament, I promise to name that baby after you if it's a girl. If it's a boy, well I can't help you there. He will be Brett Jr."

"Sounds good to me." I smiled.

I was up the stairs a few moments later heading to my bedroom when I passed by Rafe's. The door was open and the light was on. He sat on his bed, staring at his folded hands below him, completely silent.

"Rafe?"

He looked up quickly at the sound of my voice.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"Oh yeah, I'm just thinking."

"About what?"

"The future."