When seven o'clock comes around, Clarke can feel her anxiousness swell in her stomach. She clings to her cell phone like it's attached to her hand and checks it compulsively, expecting a text from Lexa any minute. Lexa should be off work by now. She would head over to Clarke's house any minute, and the thought had Clarke's stomach doing backflips and somersaults against her ribcage.

"Jesus, Griff. Calm down. You're giving me a migraine," Raven calls from the couch as Clarke paces up and down the hallway. Clarke just ignores her though, her mind working in overdrive as it contemplates all the possible ways this conversation could go. She imagines all the worst possible scenarios, each one worse than the previous, until she feels a hand on her shoulder.

"Clarke," Octavia says calmly, a soothing smile on her face. "You've got to relax."

"What if it's bad, O? Like what if she did something really bad?" Clarke stares at her, the worry etched into her frown.

"I know it's only been a few days, but do you really think she's capable of something that bad?" Octavia asks.

Clarke thinks about this for a second. Did she know everything about Lexa? Obviously not. Not by a long shot. However, she knows some things about her. She knows that she loses track of time when she plays the guitar. She knows that her first reaction in any scenario is to protect Clarke. She knows that she loves Jack and drinks her coffee black. She knows she can't back down from a challenge, that her past made her hard but also soft at the same time, that her walls made her cautious but also patient and gentle.

Clarke thinks of the time she'd spent with Lexa, from the very beginning. She thinks of the way that Lexa had teased and bantered with her after serenading her in the middle of campus, of the way that she'd joked with her friends at the restaurant. She thinks of the way she caught her before she could fall while ice-skating, of the way she never did anything that Clarke wasn't okay with. She thinks of the way she'd hesitated to kiss her even though Clarke clearly wanted her to.

"No," Clarke says quietly with a shake of her head. "No, I don't think so." But even as she says it, she thinks about all the times she had been wrong about someone. First impressions are never the most accurate.

"Stop thinking so much," Octavia says and squeezes her arm. Clarke nods, and then there's a knock on the door. Octavia glances at the door and then back to the blonde, who takes a deep breath and steadies herself. "You gonna be okay?"

"Yeah," she says with a nod. "Yeah, I'm good."

Octavia squeezes her arm one more time before joining Raven in the living room. Clarke steps over to the front door and hesitates before opening it. A breath fills her lungs, calming her nerves and focusing herself, and then she pulls the door open. Lexa stands with her hands behind her back, her gaze on the floor. When the door opens, she looks up shyly, a smile forced upon her face. Clarke finds it strange to see her like this – reserved and observably vulnerable.

"Hi," she breathes, her voice shaking a little. The sound makes Clarke want to wrap the girl in her arms and comfort her, to tell her that everything's okay and that there's nothing to worry about. She forgoes the latter, but can't stop herself from stepping forward and pulling Lexa into a hug.

Lexa collapses into it, her arms encircling Clarke too.

"Are you okay?" Clarke asks quietly before pulling away. She expects Lexa to become detached again, to take on that indifferent pretense and hide behind her walls. But instead, Lexa heaves a heavy sigh and looks down at her hands. When she looks back up at Clarke, Clarke can see a mix of emotions on her face – worry, fear, anger, sadness, and more.

"There's a lot you don't know about me, Clarke," she says with heaviness in her voice. She moves to sit on the edge of the porch and places her elbows on her knees, resting her face in her hands. Clarke sits down beside her, but doesn't say anything. It's like she can see Lexa's brain trying to process what she's going to say next. She can see the barriers that Lexa has spent so many years building to keep her safe, and Lexa trying to overcome them.

"You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to," Clarke finally says quietly. Her hand reaches forward to touch her, but she stops midair, unsure if she should or not. Then she retracts her hand and folds it in her lap. Lexa tries to ignore the sting that it causes.

"You might run for the hills," she says with a chuckle that ends with a frown, because she meant it as a joke but really it's not far from the truth. Clarke reaches for her again and doesn't stop this time, and she tucks a curl behind her ear.

"I might not," Clarke replies with a reassuring smile. Lexa brings their eyes together, finding comfort in the blue waves of Clarke's gaze. Though she tries to resist it, she can feel her body folding in on itself, retracting from Clarke's presence, running for the safety of the walls she's built. This, a conditioned response from years and years of losing people left and right, makes her feel safe and guarded.

But so does the comfort of Clarke's eyes on her, warm and concerned and reassuring.

"Costia and I used to be friends," Lexa says abruptly, like ripping off a band-aid. It surprises Clarke, and Lexa too if she's being honest.

"Is Costia your ex?" Clarke questions hesitantly when Lexa doesn't continue. Silence fills the air again while Clarke watches the thoughts swirl behind Lexa's eyes, but then she finally sighs and shakes her head.

"No," she says quietly. "Well, I guess in a way, she kind of is."

The confusion on Clarke's face brings a faint smile to Lexa's lips.

"We went to high school together. We met freshman year," Lexa begins, but she can feel the self-consciousness flourishing in her chest. She stutters over the next few words and then stops to center herself. "I've actually never told this story to anyone who wasn't there to witness it," she whispers quietly.

"Take all the time you need," Clarke responds, resting her hand on Lexa's forearm and squeezing it, a gentle I'm here. Lexa's hand falls on top of Clarke's gratefully.

"Costia was a year older than me, but we took a lot of the same electives. She was my best friend in every sense of the word – my first real friend ever, actually. When I came to terms with my sexuality, I told her first, and all she did was shrug and say 'well, duh."

Lexa smiles fondly at the memory, a sad kind of smile that Clarke hates to see.

"She gave me the courage to come out, to be exactly who I am regardless of what people thought. I wouldn't be the person I am today if it hadn't been for her. I felt invisible in the foster care system, and she made me realize that I had value even though my parents didn't want me. That my past had been their fault, not mine. She helped me find my confidence."

The smile on Lexa's face fades away.

"I fell in love with her." The words come out with a sort of chuckle, and Lexa shakes her head at herself. "I played the typical role of the lesbian who falls in love with her straight best friend. For years, I let myself love her even though she didn't love me back – at least, not the way I wanted her to. But I decided it was better to have her as a friend rather than not have her at all, so I just… I made it work. Until my junior year of college."

A car drives by slowly and Lexa stops to watch it until the taillights disappear around a corner. Clarke shifts closer to her, huddling for warmth just as much as to comfort the brunette. Lexa turns to look at her, her green eyes shadowed by her long eyelashes.

"We both got really drunk one night at a party. I mean really drunk. She could barely stand upright and I was drinking Jack, so I'm sure you can assume what that was like. Anyway, long story short, we hooked up that night. I didn't hold it against her or anything; I thought she was just drunk and horny. But the next day, she told me that it was more than that. She told me that she wanted to be with me and I thought my head was going to explode. I'd finally gotten everything that I wanted.

"Or so I thought. We kind of acted like a couple after that, went on dates and had sex and stuff. Not much really changed between us though because we already spent most of our time together and people at school were used to seeing us together. She didn't see the point in putting a label on it. We were just… having fun?

"In hindsight, I should've known what was going on. Costia tried to have her cake and eat it too. She wanted to keep having sex without all of the scary relationship stuff and without having to admit that she liked girls. Eventually I gave her a choice: a relationship or friendship. I couldn't do the middle ground thing anymore. I like things to be black and white, and everything with her had become unbearably gray."

Lexa has her hands balled into fists so tightly that her nails dig crescent moons into her palms. Clarke watches her carefully, her eyes tracing over her like scanners, but she waits patiently. Lexa stays silent for a few moments, her eyes on her balled fists. When she looks back to Clarke, she has that stoic mask displayed on her features, but her eyes – her eyes give her away.

"She told me that she'd made a mistake with me, and that she had gotten her feelings for me confused. She could only see me as a friend and nothing more. I told her that I didn't think I could go back to being her friend, and so she cut me out of her life. We just stopped talking, like our friendship had never existed. She blocked me on every form of social media and flat out refused to talk to me."

Clarke loops her arm through Lexa's at this point, and rests her hand on the inside of her leg, pulling her closer. She rests her head on Lexa's shoulder. Regardless of what happens between them after tonight, the sadness in Lexa's voice causes Clarke's heart to break for her. All she wants to do is take that sadness from her. Lexa doesn't seem to mind either, and she rests her head on top of Clarke's.

"So what are the charges Anya told you about?" Clarke asks quietly.

"The story's not over," Lexa says with a sigh. "After that happened, I was a wreck. Anya was there for me as much as she could be, but I pretty much isolated myself from everyone and wallowed in my own self-pity. My heart was shattered, and the only person that I wanted to see wouldn't talk to me. I drank a lot. I smoked a lot. I had a lot of meaningless sex.

"I was at a party one night just off campus, hammered and looking for a random to hook up with. And then Costia walked in with her boyfriend, Roan. She didn't say anything to me or even fucking acknowledge me, so I just kept on drinking, of course. I don't think I'd ever been that drunk in my life, so I went outside to get some air, and I found them arguing on the front porch.

"They were screaming at each other, and he was getting in her face. She told him to fuck off and tried to leave, but he grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her back. He started shaking her and kept yelling and she started crying and I– I just lost it, Clarke."

Lexa's breath comes out shaky and shallow, her fists trembling. Clarke can feel the tension in her muscles, pulled tight like a spring begging for release.

"Hey," Clarke whispers, pulling her head back to look at her. Lexa's jaw is clenched tight and she can make out the outline of a vein pulsing at her temple. Clarke places a finger beneath her chin and Lexa finally turns to look at her. "It's okay, Lexa. You need to breathe."

She forces her lungs to take in as much air as they can hold and then pushes it out slowly, trying to slow her heart rate and relieve the tension in her body. "I can't believe I fucked up like that," she whispers, trembling.

"To be honest, I probably would've done it for you had I been there. The guy sounds like a total douche. He deserves what he got," Clarke says reassuringly, and she means it. Lexa chuckles softly in response, but she doesn't smile.

"They had to take him to the hospital. I broke his nose and his jaw got pretty fucked up. I never really got any of the details. It's not like Costia filled me in or anything," Lexa says.

"I'm confused though," Clarke replies. "I'm surprised he would press charges after getting beat up by a girl. I mean, that's kind of embarrassing, isn't it?"

"Yeah, they tell the story a little differently than how it actually happened," Lexa says with a shake of her head. "Roan had to make up an excuse. He told everyone that I started everything, that he and Costia were outside on the porch enjoying the evening when I found them there. Apparently I had gotten consumed by a jealous rage and lost my mind. They said I attacked Costia, and when Roan stepped in to defend her, that's when I attacked him."

"You can't be serious," Clarke says incredulously. "And people believe him?"

Lexa shrugs. "Roan grew up in this town. His mother is the mayor and she's not a very delightful woman, but Roan is practically a prince around here. People are a lot more willing to believe him than a troubled girl from the foster system."

Clarke tries to find something to argue that statement, but she fails. "I'm so sorry, Lexa. You don't deserve that."

Lexa shrugs again, her normal mannerisms falling back into place. A weight has fallen from her shoulders now that everything is out in the open, and she feels more like herself than she has in a long time. "I don't know what will happen next. I didn't expect a lot from Costia, but I never thought she'd go along with something like this."

Clarke doesn't say anything. If she's being honest, comforting people really isn't her strong suit, especially in a situation as shitty as this one. It completely baffles her mind how someone could be so cruel to someone who had once been their best friend, let alone someone as kind and genuine as Lexa. It makes Clarke's chest burn with anger, but she tries to push it away.

"Can I ask you something?" Clarke asks, a little unwillingly. Lexa meets her gaze and sees the concern in her features.

"You can ask me anything."

"Well, you said you've basically just been having meaningless sex and then what Anya said about all the one night stands. I'm sorry, I just have to ask. Is that what's going on here?" Clarke has to force the words out of her mouth and she can feel her cheeks grow redder the more she speaks. Lexa stares back at her, her eyes darting left and right, panic etched into her expression. "Fuck, I just mean, if that's what this is, I want to know. Is meaningless sex what you're looking for?"

Lexa can feel her own face flush too. She probably should have seen this coming, but she had been so worried about Clarke freaking out that she'd beat the shit out of a guy that she hadn't really given herself a chance to think about it. It causes a red alarm to blare inside her head, led by that side of her that's been trying to hide from Clarke from the moment she thought she wanted more than sex. She can feel the two sides of her battling, one telling her to tell Clarke that this is all she will ever want and one telling her to tell Clarke she wants so much more. But with Clarke staring back at her with wide, blue eyes that swim with regret and fear, Lexa knows she has to make a choice.

"Clarke," she says, placing a hand on Clarke's knee. "Feelings scare the shit out of me. I mean it. They make me want to run as far away as possible in the opposite direction, and then catch a plane and keep going."

Disappointment floods Clarke's whole body, but she doesn't show it. She just nods solemnly, looking away. "I understand."

"No, you don't," Lexa interjects, squeezing Clarke's knee to get her attention. "Ever since Costia, everything in me tells me to stay the fuck away from people. I never spend any time with anybody that isn't Anya or people from work. I meet girls at parties and then leave before they wake up in the morning and never talk to them again."

"Wow, that's pretty shitty," Clarke interrupts.

"My point is, Clarke, that it's different with you." Lexa squeezes Clarke's knee again for emphasis. "I don't take one night stands on dates or meet their friends or stay the night." Clarke just stares back at her, not allowing herself to get her hopes up. Lexa laughs lightly. "I don't know what this is. It's new and it scares the shit out of me, but it also makes me kind of excited, and it definitely is not meaningless."

A smile toys at Clarke's lips, the disappointment draining out of her in an instant. She leans forward and places her hand behind Lexa's neck, pulling her closer until their lips meet. The kiss is sweet and needy at the same time. When Clarke pulls away, she rests her forehead against Lexa's and smiles.

"It makes me kind of excited too."

Lexa had decided not to come inside, despite Clarke's seductive attempts and her puppy dog eyes. It had taken every ounce of willpower in her body to refuse, and she made it abundantly clear that she really, really wanted to. Really. But she had given Clarke a lot of information and she wanted to give her a chance to think about it before anything else happened between them.

Clarke loved that she had refused the offer, but she hated it too.

"Uh oh," Raven says as Clarke walks through the front door, and she tosses her magazine onto the coffee table. "No Lexa. What happened? Did she kill someone?"

"Raven, I swear," Octavia says, reaching for a pillow to smother her with, but Raven catches her wrist.

"If you hit me with another god damn pillow, I'll tell everyone about all the sounds you make during sex," Raven warns, eyeing her closely. Octavia glares at her. "My room is right next to yours; I can hear everything."

"Everyone's already heard them, dumbass," she retorts and yanks her wrist from Raven's grip. Before Raven can retaliate, Octavia grabs a pillow and lunges at her with it, beating her repeatedly with it.

"OKAY, Jackie Chan! Calm down!" Raven cries, trying to cover her face from Octavia's brutal attack. Clarke laughs and makes no attempt to stop Octavia. When she finally relents, Raven groans and rubs her temples.

"Anyway," Octavia says, sitting back down on the couch. "How'd it go?"

Clarke sits down on the coffee table between her two friends on the couch. "I think it went well," she says with a couple nods.

"Clarke," Raven deadpans. "You guys talked for over two hours. Can you give us a little more information than that?"

Octavia nods curiously, and Clarke wonders if Lexa would be okay with her telling her story to Raven and Octavia. "I think I should ask her if she's okay with that first. I'm sorry."

"Text her," Raven says, pointing to Clarke's cell phone. "Now."

"You're incredible," Octavia says with a roll of her eyes.

"What? I wanna know!"

Octavia shakes her head again, but she can't deny that she wants to know just as much as Raven does. Both of them stare at Clarke, waiting for her to reach for her phone. Octavia raises her eyebrows expectantly, and then Clarke finally rolls her eyes and reaches for her phone.

Clarke (9:34 pm): My friends are nosy assholes and want to know what we talked about all night.

Clarke (9:34 pm): I just want to know what you're okay with them knowing or not knowing.

Clarke (9:35 pm): I won't tell them anything you don't want me to.

She clicks send on the last text and then looks up at her friends. "Happy now?"

"I'll be happy when she texts you back," Raven grumbles, and Clarke giggles.

"You're a child. How's that hangover?" Clarke questions, realizing that Raven no longer has her head tucked into the corner of the couch and is no longer spouting death threats at those who disturb her.

"Mostly gone. Although my liking for rum has been completely destroyed," she says with a grimace and her stomach churns at that moment at the memory of the liquid.

"Well that's good, because you guys killed that bottle last night," Octavia adds.

"I don't do anything half ass. You know this."

Clarke's phone vibrates in her hand and it doesn't go unnoticed. Octavia and Raven both watch her expectantly and Clarke can only laugh.

Lexa (9:39 pm): Are they going to tell you to stop talking to me because I'm a loose cannon with rage issues?

Clarke glances up at her friends at this point, both of them watching her with their own kind of rage (curiosity) boiling behind their eyes. She imagines if either of them had been in the same scenario Lexa had, and then returns to her cell phone.

Clarke (9:40 pm): They would have to tell me to stop talking to them too if that were the case. They would've done the same thing.

"What'd she say?" Raven questions eagerly.

"She hasn't made a decision yet," Clarke says, and Raven groans and throws her head back against the couch dramatically.

"What about the one night stand thing? Did you guys talk about that?" Octavia adds.

"We did," Clarke confirms.

"And?" Raven questions, leaning forward with an expression on her face that says she's about to lunge for Clarke if she withholds any more information.

Clarke's phone vibrates.

"I'm going to kill them both," Raven says to Octavia. Clarke smirks, reveling in the power she has over the Latina. Might as well drag it out, right? She opens her phone to read Lexa's text.

Lexa (9:42 pm): As long as I don't lose their approval, feel free to tell them whatever ;)

Clarke (9:43 pm): Who said you ever earned their approval, smartass? ;)

The emoticon shouldn't have made Clarke's heart flip, but it did, and she feels like a teenager when she laughs about it. Raven launches a pillow at her and it connects with her face with a thud, and Clarke glares daggers at her.

"Fine. See if I tell you anything," she says pointedly to Raven.

"Wait, she gave you the okay?!" Raven responds with wide eyes. Clarke nods smugly. "Griffin, you gotta tell me. I'm dying to know, please!"

"You have no dignity," Octavia says with a shake of her head, chuckling lightly. "What's the big secret?"

Clarke decides then that she wants to tell them everything just as much as they want to know everything, and so she begins with Lexa's story from the very beginning. She explains the ins and outs of Lexa and Costia's friendship and quote unquote relationship. She goes into every detail about why it all affected Lexa so much, about what growing up in the system had done to her and how Costia had helped her move past that and just how much Costia had meant to her. Raven and Octavia hang onto every word, frowning in certain areas and glaring in others.

When Clarke finally finishes the entire story, the room falls silent. Raven's mouth hangs open and Octavia's brow furrows, but they don't say anything at first.

"Do we know where Costia lives?" Octavia is the first one to break the silence.

"Um, no?" Clarke responds, confusion evident in her voice. "Why?"

"Because the bitch deserves a fucking beat down," Octavia says fiercely. "Seriously. How fucked up is that? How could you do that to someone, let alone someone you used to call your best friend?"

Raven nods in agreement. "You can take Costia. I'd like to break Roan's nose all over again, and then some. What the fuck? How does Lexa not lose it all over again?"

Clarke doesn't know why, but the way her friends quickly defend Lexa makes her heart swell. "I don't know. Honestly. Costia broke her heart, practically ruined her. She said she was a wreck after it all happened. All she did was drink, smoke, and have meaningless sex because it's all she could handle."

"Speaking of meaningless sex," Octavia says. "You guys talked about that, right?"

Clarke feels her cheeks turn the lightest shade of pink and Raven rolls her eyes. "We did. She said it's different with me. It's not meaningless."

Octavia squeals and leaps off the couch to wrap her arms around Clarke's shoulders, pulling her against her chest for a tight hug. Even Raven can't stop the smile from spreading across her face. Clarke laughs and hugs Octavia back before she pulls away.

"I don't know what the next step is, but I think that's okay. I don't need anything to happen right away. She's so fucking afraid to feel anything, and after hearing about Costia, I'm surprised she admitted as much as she did."

"I'm just glad that she's not just some ho looking for some ass," Raven adds. "I didn't want to have to beat her ass, but I would have if it came down to it."

"But you guys are good, right?" Octavia asks suspiciously.

"Yeah, we're good. Why?"

"Why didn't she stay?" The curiosity in Octavia's voice is impossible to miss.

"I offered," Clarke explains. "But she wanted to give me time to think about everything before anything else happened."

Octavia resists the urge to let out a drawn out "aw," and Raven groans. Clarke looks at her with a raised eyebrow, questioning. Raven just shakes her head at her.

"Well, fuck," she begins. "If you don't marry her, I will."

The three girls stay up for a few more hours, talking and giggling on the couch. Octavia goes into details about Lincoln and how they have a date that weekend. He grew up around Arkadia too, and turns out he's a few years older than Lexa. They'd gone to the same high school, but she had been a freshman when he was a senior and he only knew about her because it was a small town and people talked. After high school, he went to Arkadia and got a degree in business and now owns a rather successful martial arts studio in town.

When midnight finally rolls around, Clarke decides to head upstairs. She says goodnight to her roommates and then grabs her phone from the coffee table before climbing up the stairs.

After brushing her teeth and washing her face, Clarke climbs into bed and falls back on the pillow. That's when she realizes that it still smells like Lexa and so she buries her face in it, inhaling deeply, and a smile spreads across her face.

"Oh, shit," she mumbles when she notices that she hasn't paid any attention to her phone since she texted Lexa back. She unlocks the screen and Clarke actually feels relief when she sees several unopened texts from her.

Lexa (9:50 pm): Have you met me? Everyone approves ;)

Lexa (10:12 pm): Was that too cocky? I promise my ego's not that big

Lexa (10:13 pm): Well, okay, maybe it is.

The texts make Clarke giggle and she suddenly feels guilty for ignoring Lexa for so long. She types out a response.

Clarke (12:11 am): Sorry, Raven and Octavia demanded my utmost attention. They most certainly approve, and I like your ego just the way it is

She tucks her phone under the pillow and then turns off the lamp on her nightstand. It surprises her when her phone goes off almost immediately, but she definitely isn't complaining.

Lexa (12:12 am): Did you tell them?

On the other side of town, Lexa lies in bed and squints against the glaring light of her cell phone as she reads through the conversation. Nerves tingle at the surface of her skin like they have been ever since Clarke asked if she could tell Raven and Octavia about her past. The radio silence from Clarke since then had driven her crazy, so when her phone went off, she had practically jumped out of her skin.

Clarke (12:14 am): Yes.

Lexa glares at the screen.

Lexa (12:14 am): And?

She doesn't bother putting the phone down to wait for a response. She can practically feel Clarke smirking.

Clarke (12:15 am): Octavia wants to know where Costia lives so she can beat her for you.

Clarke (12:15 am): Raven would be happy to break Roan's nose all over again, and then some.

Lexa doesn't expect the overwhelming relief that floods over her. She guesses it comes from the fact that she never expected anyone to believe her word over Roan's, but then she remembers that these people don't know her as Lexa the Foster Kid or Lexa the Lost Cause. Clarke and her friends see Lexa, the girl who plays guitar in the middle of the night and walks her date to the door.

Clarke (12:17 am): They really like you, Lexa.

Lexa smiles and types out a response.

Lexa (12:18 am): Good, because they're stuck with me.

Clarke (12:18 am): Is that so?

Lexa (12:19 am): You're stuck with me too.

Clarke (12:20 am): Remind me again why you're not in my bed?

Lexa (12:21 am): I have no fucking clue

Clarke (12:22 am): I'm falling asleep.

Lexa (12:23 am): Me too. Go to sleep.

Clarke (12:25): Okay. Goodnight, Lexa.

Lexa (12:26): Goodnight, Clarke. Sweet dreams.