A/N: Just FYI, Quinn's birthday continues into the next chapter.
Just off the Key of Reason
Chapter 11: Like Being in Love, She Said for the First Time
Rachel was awoken the next morning when she subconsciously realized she was being blinded by the sun. Something had pulled back her curtains, and she blearily opened her eyes to investigate when, oh God, some sort of mammal jumped on her legs. A 5'6" mammal with messy blonde hair and an excited grin on her face. Rachel groaned and buried her face in her pillow. Too. Fucking. Early.
"Rachel." Quinn said, bouncing up and down a little. Rachel didn't respond.
"Raaaaachel."
Rachel smiled into her pillow and shifted her legs around, trying to knock Quinn off.
"Rachel, it's my birthday! You have to play with me." Quinn proclaimed, pulling the covers half-off Rachel's body.
Rachel spoke directly into her pillow. "I know, honey. Happy birthday. I'll be more enthusiastic after eight a.m." And coffee. And when she's not being blinded by the sun. And sat on by her girlfriend. And dogs.
Quinn pouted and pulled back the covers until she could reach one of Rachel's feet. She ran her fingers over the bottom as Rachel squirmed to get away and then grabbed the big toe.
"This little piggy went to market." Quinn said softly. Rachel grinned into her pillow, slobbering all over it and suffocating herself, but whatever.
"This little piggy stayed home." Quinn continued. Rachel could feel hazel eyes on her and she tried not to react outwardly. It was futile, because she'd never met anybody more ticklish than herself.
Rachel could hear the smile in Quinn's voice. "This little piggy had roast beef." Rachel actually grimaced. Okay, move on the next piggy. Her dads used to change the line to 'this little piggy had vegan lasagna,' but, yeah, most people realized that was absolutely fucking ridiculous.
"This little piggy had none." Well, aww. That wasn't much happier. Quinn paused to build anticipation after that, and Rachel tried not to asphyxiate herself with her pillow.
"And this little piggy…" Quinn held her pinky toe gently and Rachel tried to prepare her body. Relax your muscles. Breathe. Don't pee yourself.
"Went wee wee wee all the way home!" Quinn exclaimed, tickling along Rachel's feet, and then pouncing up the bed and continuing along her torso. Rachel was successful with only one of her three goals. She managed not to pee herself. Thank God.
Rachel rolled around, turning bright red because she couldn't fucking breathe and she was oxygen deprived from having her face pressed into her pillow for so long. She accidentally kicked an excited Barnaby off the bed, and tried to choke out some kind of surrender through her laughter.
Quinn finally stopped and just laid like dead weight on top of Rachel. Rachel tried to school her features to look angry, but, yeah, that definitely wasn't happening. She seemed to have lost all conscious control of her facial muscles.
"Quuiiinn." She whined until the woman rolled off of her and sat cross-legged next to her head. Rachel stared up at Quinn for a moment and then just smiled again because the blonde was a complete mess with a massive grin.
"Happy birthday Quinn." Rachel said, slightly more enthusiastically than before. She shifted up on her elbows and puckered her lips like a child. "Give me a birthday kiss."
Quinn happily obliged, and Rachel ran her hand through the tangled blonde mess on her girlfriend's head in a futile attempt to smooth it out.
"So, I have big plans for us today, sweetheart." Rachel said as Quinn pulled back.
Quinn looked surprised; she stared at Rachel hopefully. "You made plans?"
Rachel tilted her head. "Of course!"
Her wonderful, magnificent plans that she was incredibly proud of and incredibly modest about when she told every single one of her friends yesterday. Except Quinn. Of course.
"And you'll love them, but we need to brush your hair first, and get dressed, and have breakfast."
Quinn was wide-eyed, and she nodded excitedly before scrambling off the bed and thundering out of the room and into the hall. Rachel watched her go fondly, then chuckled as she reappeared in the doorway.
"What should I wear?" Quinn asked worriedly.
Rachel eyed the red fuzzy reindeer pajama pants Quinn had on. In March. "Just something warm, honey. Nothing fancy."
Quinn nodded vigorously, turned and sped back to her own room.
Rachel was dressed and making breakfast by the time Quinn emerged in jeans and a sweater, hair brushed and eyes bright. She wasn't so much making breakfast as making a huge fucking mess in the kitchen to get a few pancakes out of it.
"Breakfast m'lady?" Rachel asked as Quinn sat at one of the bar stools.
"Chocolate chip pancakes?" Quinn asked, obviously in awe of this wonderful food of the gods. Rachel nodded brightly. She was even using real chocolate.
Rachel flipped a pancake, knocking a package of powdered sugar to the floor, as her phone rang.
"Can you get that please, Quinn?" Rachel asked, starting to clean up what looked like a cloud of cocaine before they all inhaled it and died. Quinn looked at her with nervous eyes.
"Please, honey." Rachel held up her white hands to show how incapacitated she was. Plus, Barnaby and Cornelius were tackling her to reach the sugary goodness. She watched Quinn out of the corner of her eye.
"Hello." Quinn said quietly, her other hand playing with the snap on the dog leash sitting on the counter.
Quinn nodded shortly. "Yeah. I'll get her. Hold on please." Quinn held the phone out as Rachel washed her hands and Barnaby licked the now clean floor.
Rachel raised her eyebrows.
"It's the place you called yesterday." Quinn explained quietly.
"This is Rachel Berry." Rachel said, keeping her eyes fixed on Quinn's. After making sure her pancakes hadn't caught fire.
"Hi Rachel. This is Madison Family Psychology. We got your message, and we'd love to set up a session for you and your girlfriend sometime. It would be sort of a get-to-know-you sort of session, before you decide if you'd like to return. If that sounds okay, our first opening is the day after tomorrow. Wednesday morning."
Rachel covered the mouthpiece so she could consult with Quinn. "Is Wednesday morning good for you, Quinn?" she asked gently.
Quinn nodded slowly and Rachel smiled reassuringly at her before uncovering the phone. "Wednesday's great for us." She said, and then pulled a pouch of gummy bears out of the cookie jar and set them in front of Quinn. Positive reinforcement. Reward. Whatever, she just knew Quinn would love some gummy bears with breakfast.
"Can you give them whipped cream smiley faces?" Quinn asked when Rachel hung up and returned to the pancakes. Rachel chuckled and grabbed the Reddi Whip from the fridge.
"And strawberry eyes?"
Rachel was already reaching for the box of strawberries.
"And powdered sugar hair?"
Well, Jesus, Rachel would be making a whole civilization out of the pancakes and toppings.
"And Hershey's Syrup limbs?"
Rachel scrunched up nose and turned to face her grinning girlfriend.
"You know, if I add all that stuff, I'm going to make you eat at least ten pancakes, and then you'll spend all day vomiting and whining, so, just take that into account before you mess with me, Fabray." Rachel tried to look scolding. She was not successful.
Quinn spoke around the gummy bears in her mouth. "I wanted to see how much you'd actually do for me."
"I'll do it all." Rachel replied automatically, spraying chocolate syrup along the floor. Well, God, that came out a little dramatically and loaded with an inordinate amount of meaning. She really was referring to breakfast foods. She flushed and tried to stop Cornelius from eating the chocolate that would kill him.
"Well, then I want one with gummy worm hair as well." Quinn said. Rachel could see she was flushing too, and tapping her fingers along the top of the bar, but Rachel smiled and happily obliged.
She managed to make six acceptable pancakes, that weren't raw on the inside or flaming on the outside, and decided to leave the mess for her friends to clean up later. Right now, she had birthday plans to execute.
~oooooooooo~
Rachel was having major problems controlling herself as she stared at Quinn's face, looking at the sign over the gates for the Central Park Zoo. Quinn looked like she was meeting God himself. Rachel looked like she was having some sort of epileptic attack as she attempted to rein in her laughter.
Quinn turned to look at her after a good four minutes. "We get to go in there?" She asked disbelievingly.
Rachel was going to say 'no, I just brought you here to see the outside,' but then she remembered that she wasn't a heartless asshole, and nodded excitedly.
"Of course! Come on!" Rachel seized Quinn's hand, fully intent on dragging her forward, but Quinn rushed up ahead and ended up pulling Rachel along behind her, for about three feet until they reached the ticket booth. Then Quinn halted abruptly and moved back behind Rachel.
Rachel tilted her head. She didn't want to be too proactive in making any, you know, psychological evaluations before their first session, because that would just end in disaster, but maybe Quinn could use a little push. Just to function more with strangers. Of course, the last time she'd pushed had been, well, that had gone terribly awry.
"Welcome to the zoo!" A chirpy teenager proclaimed from the booth. "How many?"
Rachel shoveled through her purse for her card, feigning distraction. Well, not feigning anymore, because, seriously, where was her fucking card?
Quinn hesitantly stepped up after a few moments. "Um, two please." She said quietly through the voice box. Rachel smiled to herself.
"Do you have any discount codes or handicapped needs?" The boy asked as Rachel finally fished her card out from the depths of her bag.
"No." Quinn said, bouncing up on the balls of her feet. Rachel handed the card over and waited for their tickets. She was pleasantly surprised when Quinn spoke again. Maybe her strategy was successful.
"Do you have lions?" Quinn asked bluntly, still tipping forward and backward on her feet.
The boy shook his head. "We do have a snow leopard, though."
Quinn's face fell and she looked at Rachel. Rachel bit her tongue to prevent any inappropriate public displays of affection from taking control of her body. She looked at the ticket guy.
"You have bears, right?"
He nodded vigorously, eager to please. "Yeah, we have polar bears."
Quinn's head whipped back to him as he said that, and Rachel smiled and took their tickets with a quick thank you. As soon as they were through the gates, Quinn turned to face her.
"Can we go see the polar bears first?" she asked excitedly, swinging their hands between them.
Rachel laughed. "Quinn, honey, it's your birthday. Stop asking me. We can do whatever you want."
This is how Rachel found herself clinging tightly to Quinn's arm outside the polar bear enclosure in an attempt to prevent Quinn from accidentally flinging herself over the barrier. Oh God, what if she was serious about wanting to hug a bear? Rachel had to admit, they were ridiculously fluffy. She just didn't want to be one of those reckless, idiotic tourists who watched their girlfriends descend into animal enclosures, get mauled, and die. No, she would not end up on YouTube like that. It would be horrible for her career.
After about half an hour of watching the bears sleep, Rachel made Quinn sit down on one of the benches. She tried not to seem bored, but seriously, they just-they weren't moving. Rachel needed stimulation to survive.
"Have you been to a zoo before, Quinn?" She asked curiously. Quinn would entertain her.
Quinn shook her head without taking her eyes off the animals. Rachel was surprised; her girlfriend was good enough to be a fucking zookeeper.
"Why not?"
Again, Quinn just shrugged, focused on the bears. Rachel smiled fondly at her.
"Honey, with words, please."
Quinn looked at her for a second, then put an arm around Rachel and stared back at the enclosure.
"It's not just the zoo. I didn't really-I haven't really gone anywhere. Anywhere cool."
Rachel narrowed her eyes because, really, they lived in fucking New York. "Nowhere? At all?" she clarified.
Quinn shook her head vaguely. Rachel sighed. She wondered how much she should ask, or could ask, without causing some sort of…attack. She decided to go for it, because Quinn was distracted with the polar bear, which, you know, it could be good. Or horrible. And, God, she was getting bored.
"Do you have any siblings?" Rachel asked, grasping onto the hand that Quinn had wrapped around her shoulders.
Quinn shook her head.
"Quinn, please, words." Rachel said with a half-smile, poking Quinn in the ribs.
Quinn met her eyes briefly and smiled softly. "No, I was an only child."
Well, this was a brilliant direction to take the conversation in, Rachel. The only places she could go now were dead parents, foster families, and traumatizing, bitch aunts. Rachel decided not to pursue this line of questioning.
She started anew.
"If you were a fruit, which one would you be?" Pssht, that was totally a psychologist-type question. Rachel was a pro at this.
"A peach." Quinn replied instantaneously. Well, geez, she didn't even have to think about it. Rachel wondered if it was a good sign that her girlfriend already knew exactly which kind of fruit she was. She figured yeah, it was good to be prepared.
"I'd be a strawberry. Or a lime." Rachel said, though Quinn didn't appear to be listening. She decided to plow right on anyway, the true Rachel Berry way.
"If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?" She asked, playing with Quinn's fingers.
"Wherever you are." Quinn replied absently, tracking the bears with bright hazel eyes. She didn't seem to realize that Rachel had lost all bodily control as soon as she'd said that.
Because, really, Rachel was struggling to breathe. God, her heart was hurting. Was she dying? She stared at the side of Quinn's oblivious head like she was trying to look through her ear into the workings of Quinn's brain. She'd probably find a ball of cotton candy in there. Or a teddy bear.
"Oh my God." Rachel squeaked out of her uncooperative throat. Dammit body, don't fail now.
Quinn looked at her, expression morphing from contentment to concern. "Are you okay?"
No. She was not.
Rachel stared into worried hazel eyes. "You're so…" she sighed. Fucking speechless. This was unprecedented and unacceptable. Control yourself. Rein it in. Rachel made a decision. "I want to give you your present now."
Quinn looked surprised. "I thought-I thought you being my girlfriend was my present…remember?"
Rachel smiled and put her hands on Quinn's flushed cheeks. "I got you a real present, honey."
"This wasn't it?" Quinn gestured vaguely around them. God, didn't she listen?
"No, I got you a real one." Rachel said again, patiently waiting for Quinn to focus.
Quinn grinned and leaned forward, glancing around like it was hidden in the exhibit or something. Whoa, that's exactly what Rachel should've done. Hidden it in the exhibit. Well, now she was disappointed in herself for not thinking of that earlier.
"Where is it? What is it?" Quinn asked excitedly.
Rachel reached into her purse full of crap as Quinn watched. She dug around for a few minutes-God, she really needed to clean this bag-and emerged with the first part of Quinn's present. A box of Zebra Cakes for lunch. Rachel had lost a little piece of her soul when buying them.
Quinn gasped like Rachel had pulled out the royal crown. She took the box eagerly and Rachel laughed as she was pulled into a bear hug. Quinn kissed the side of her head.
"I love these. Thank you, little bear."
Rachel pulled back and straightened out Quinn's coat collar with a smile. "Hold on, Quinn. I didn't just get you a box of junk food. There's something else."
Quinn looked up at her expectantly, seconds away from biting into a zebra cake. Rachel stilled her hand. Now or never.
"Quinn, before I give you this, I want to say something. And just…just focus, okay?"
Quinn's eyes locked onto Rachel's determinedly. Rachel smiled and searched for the vocabulary she was sure she'd possessed two seconds ago. Really, there was no way to drag this out…Well, yeah there was, but Rachel's mind had blanked, so…short and sweet.
"I love you, Quinn." Rachel stated. Not exactly calmly, but…confidently. It hadn't taken her long to realize, but it was true, and she was sure. Quinn was sort of a happy mess, and Rachel wanted to help her with her problems and be there for everything else.
Wait. She did say it out loud, right? Because those gorgeous hazel eyes were just staring at her, and…Oh God, it was all a dream. Rachel was seconds away from flinging herself into the bear enclosure when she realized Quinn's eyes were shining.
"You don't need to say anything, you know, back, Quinn." Rachel hurriedly assured. "And-and I wanted to give you this. It's your other present." She held the box out towards Quinn, but it went completely ignored. The Zebra Cakes had received a better welcome than that.
God, those eyes were boring into her soul. Rachel waited for Quinn to speak. Waited fucking years. And years.
"Are-are you sure?" Quinn finally asked. Rachel smiled softly at her teary eyes. And sort of in relief. She wasn't completely delusional.
"Wait, you are Quinn Fabray, right? Oh God, did I just tell the wrong person?" Rachel chuckled lightly and nudged Quinn in the shoulder reassuringly.
Quinn was still staring at her. Her expression didn't change.
"I love you too." Quinn finally breathed out.
God, Rachel was just a soggy ball of mush. Seriously. Pull your goddamned self together. She did feel slightly victorious though, that she actually took a step in their relationship before Quinn. Really, she had no idea what her feelings were doing right now. Quinn was still staring at her.
Rachel felt like she was being x-rayed, so she leaned over and kissed Quinn on the lips. Magically. Lovingly. Sloppily. Quinn reciprocated, and then put her hands on either side of Rachel's head until they were full-on making out. The zebra cakes fell to the ground.
A minute later some women with strollers and snotty, whiny children went walking by, clearing their throats very unsubtly.
Rachel pulled back, licked her lips, and extracted her hand from blonde hair, glad to see Quinn smiling now. Just beaming. She handed Quinn the box, and put her hands on her own cheeks to cool her face off. She was just fucking flaming. Quinn opened it and pulled out a necklace with two charms on it: a big bear and a little bear. Really, it was a mama bear and a cub, because that's what the jewelry store called it, but Rachel preferred not to think of it that way because…just. No.
Quinn never had to know about that. She was wide-eyed as she looked at Rachel again.
"Rachel, this is perfect. I love it!" Quinn exclaimed.
Rachel grinned, reaching for the necklace so that she could clasp it around Quinn's neck. "Really? Because that's what you said about the Zebra Cakes…"
Quinn looked like she was on the precipice of some kind of breakdown, so Rachel just leaned forward and pulled her into a hug and held her for a minute.
It was another three hours before they left the polar bear exhibit. The bears never even woke up.