A/N: Finally! This is the sequel to A Series of Bizarre and Mildly Humourous Events! I apologize for taking so long to come out with it. In my defense, the story developed sentience and tried to kill me. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this story, and do remember to leave a review at the end! I'm trying to update the story one chapter a week, hopefully during the weekends when people have time to read it.

Hunter X Hunter does not belong to me. I do not own the copyright to any of these materials. This is a fanfiction written solely for the purposes of entertainment, and the views stated by the characters do not necessarily reflect the views of the author. If you wish to host this story on a site outside of , please contact the author for permission first.

Beginning of the End

It was raining outside, heavy wet raindrops splashing against the window pane. Thunder roared and lightning flashed through the night sky. Under them, the city lights of York Shin vanished in a brilliant explosion of white. Kuroro lifted his head from the warm, fluffy pillow so he could look out at the rain. Midoya stood next to the window, wrapped in her black robe, gazing out into the rain.

"What do you see?" Kuroro asked.

She turned to face him. Her face looked different; wrong somehow, deformed in a way that made her look like her, yet so unlike her.

"Terror," she replied, her eyes glowing with black light in the dark. A dark shadow fell over Kuroro as he lay watching her, growing and spreading like an oil spill. "Terror and death. You should run while you can."

Kuroro's eyes snapped open as he jolted awake from the light doze he had been in. Machi's hand on his arm, a finger against her lips stilled any response he might have given. Nodding, he straightened up, having fallen asleep standing up and looked around silently. Moonshine was already standing frozen next to the door, his expression feral and intense as he stared at the door as if he expected it to leap at him. Midoya was still out cold, her eyes moving visibly beneath her eyelids. He frowned, first at her then at Machi. He still wasn't sure what had caused his companions to react like this…

A footstep.

Now Kuroro's ears pricked up as he caught the stealthy sound of someone walking down the corridor. Closing his eyes, he focused on the sound and caught another footstep. Slow, stealthy... rubber-lined shoes. Not an ant then. It couldn't be the other Ryodan members; there was only one person in the corridor and the Ryodan never moved as individuals if they could help it. A hunter then and an experienced one too, if Kuroro was any judge.

Finally, the footsteps stopped in front of the door.

Machi glanced at Kuroro and he nodded at her to ready herself for a fight. Moonshine hadn't thought to look to Kuroro for instructions, but the man was already poised for battle, lips drawn back in a snarl. Carefully, Kuroro drew the Benz knife from its sheath, waiting for the person on the other side to make the first move.

Three polite knocks.

Kuroro blinked. Machi looked at him again, eyebrows raised. Moonshine straightened slightly, a confused look on his face, like a dog which had challenged another dog and had been greeted with friendly tail wags instead.

"Come in," Kuroro said quietly. Behind him, he felt rather than heard Midoya stir and start to awaken.

The door slid open slowly and a middle-aged man dressed entirely in white with a turban on his head slipped into the room, his hands raised above his head. His posture suggested that keeping his hands in plain sight would not deter him if he decided to attack them. "Truce for an hour plus some?" the man asked, scruffy face calm and unreadable.

Kuroro thought about it for a second. "Truce," he finally agreed. Before the man could say anything else, Kuroro added, "You are one of the Zodiacs, aren't you?"

"Yes, and you are the Dancho of the Genei Ryodan," the man said, lowering his hands but keeping them in plain sight by his side. "I'm Ging."

"The Pig," Midoya said from behind him. "Suits you, Ging." Kuroro heard her make a pained sound as she tried to sit up. Still keeping his eyes on the newcomer, he backed up and sat her up so she could lean against him.

The blank look on the man's face dissolved into one of guilt and he slipped a finger under the turban to scratch nervously at his hair. "Erm… yo," the man named Ging said awkwardly. "Nice to see you're doing well, Midoya."

"Oh go to hell, Ging," Midoya said with a somewhat surprising show of anger. "I thought we were friends, you traitorous nincompoop."

"Whoa kid, hold it right there! I tried to stop them, okay?" Ging said defensively. "I swear on my son's life, I did everything I could to call off the hunt."

Midoya shot him a venomous look. "Ging, everyone knows you don't give a snap about your son."

"What? Oh come on, be fair, Midoya. You know I do care about my son. I left him with my family instead of dumping him in a ditch after all." Ging rubbed his face. "Look, Midoya…"

"If you're going to apologize, forget about it. I'm not forgiving you." Midoya, weak and pale as she was, somehow managed to look down her nose at him. "I can't believe I slept with you once."

"That has nothing to do with this! Damn it woman, you promised you wouldn't tell anybody! I meant, I was drunk and you were drunk and… Anyway, I can't believe you slept with Pariston while sober, even if he didn't know it was you in that dominatrix outfit."

"His dick is bigger than yours and he isn't twice my age," Midoya huffed.

"Now that's a really low blow, and I am not twice your age, damn it." Ging glanced guiltily at Kuroro's raised eyebrow. "All before your time," he added quickly, a flush spreading across his face. "My wife just died and I was really depressed and…"

"I'm less concerned with Midoya's sexual history and more concerned with what you're doing here," Kuroro said wryly. "I presume from your presence that the Zodiacs know Midoya is alive."

"Yeah. We caught her and Moonshine here on a surveillance camera. Hey Moonshine."

"Hi Ging, I'm revaluating my once high opinion of you given how you actually slept with fucking Kito of all people. There are some places your dick should never go if you want to remain respectable, and Kito is one of them."

"Aww, Uncle Moonie you."

"That was not a compliment, woman!"

"You're too sweet sometimes."

Ging sighed deeply. "This is not going the way I intended it to go." His expression grew more solemn. "Okay Midoya, if you don't want to forgive me then so be it. I didn't come here to beg for your forgiveness anyway."

"I figured. You've never apologised to anyone for anything you have ever done in your life. So why are you here, Ging?"

"Just to ask you a question." Ging's eyes narrowed slightly as he studied Midoya. "Tell me Midoya, why did Netero order the Zodiacs, in his will, to execute you upon his death?"

Moonshine gave a startled hiss, like a cat that had been pounced on suddenly. Kuroro blinked in surprise and looked at Midoya. To his surprise, her expression was grim but calm. "You knew?" he asked quietly. "You knew that Netero was the one behind this?"

"The moment I found out all twelve Zodiacs were in on this, yes," Midoya admitted. "The Zodiacs are, if anything, the most arbitrarily contrary bunch ever. If one member moves to do something, someone else will definitely try to counter that person just for the sake of countering that person. Usually, it ends in a stalemate or Pariston sticking someone in the back. There's only one person who can bring the Zodiacs together like this and that's Netero."

"Yes," Ging said quietly, all seriousness now. "But why, Midoya? At least give me a reason so if I have to kill you, my conscience wouldn't haunt me for the rest of my life."

Midoya gave a weak laugh that ended in her gasping for breath. "I can't tell you, Ging," she said, already breathless from her short bout of humour, "because off the top of my head, I can think of twenty things I've done in the past year or so that dear Netero would never have approved of." Ging's jaw dropped as she continued, "I murdered the queen of Gye in her sleep. I stole the crown jewels of Dwerd. I accidentally caused the extinction of the Ichtyes shark. And there's that thing with the President of BNE. If I actually think back over all the things I've done in my life time that Netero knows of, I could come up with hundreds of reasons why Netero might have wanted me dead."

"I'm sure burying one of your ex-boyfriends alive didn't help matters," Machi commented dryly.

"Oh, no, that's not one of them. Netero actually helped me bury him. Turns out my dear sensei didn't approve of my choice in lovers and was only too happy to help me get rid of him."

"I'm somewhat glad that you never introduced me to him," Kuroro said fervently.

"Oh, actually, I think he might have liked you." Midoya glanced at Ging and added, "So that's it; I have no idea."

"No," Ging said, shaking his head. "It doesn't make sense to me. Assassinating politicians, stealing stuff… you've done all these things countless of times in your life. It's nothing new, nothing that would make Netero arrange for your death now. If he really did not approve of all the things you do, he would have had you killed much earlier before you became too powerful to contain. Damn girl, even death couldn't keep you down. How the hell did you do that? I'm pretty certain you died; I checked your pulse personally."

Midoya shrugged casually, a motion that must have caused her pain, though it did not show on her face. "A girl must have a secrets. Either way, I have no idea why Netero wants me dead," she said. "But honestly, Ging, the Zodiacs were waiting for this to happen. They could have chosen to ignore Netero's will, could have chosen not to hunt me. That they did tells me that at least some of them have been dying to get rid of me for a while. By hunting me, the Zodiacs have made themselves my enemies, and you know what I do to my enemies."

"But you have a choice," Kuroro interrupted as politely as he could. When Ging looked at him, he continued, "You obviously do not feel animosity towards Midoya yourself. You can choose to help her instead."

Too intelligent eyes regarded Kuroro thoughtfully. "What do you have planned?" he asked.

"With Midoya in the shape that she's in, we, that is, my comrades and I are at a severe disadvantage," Kuroro told him. "The best course of action, really, is to get Midoya off the continent of Hun and bring her somewhere safe where she can recuperate. However, given that the Association has shut down all travel out of Hun, this has become impossible for us. Even if we could steal a plane or a boat, a lone vehicle leaving the continent is too obvious. We will not get far."

"That is true," Ging admitted. "I can't lift the travel ban if that's what you're asking. All the Zodiacs were in favour of it and there's no way I can overturn a decision by myself."

"I guessed as much," Kuroro said, smiling faintly. "No, that's not what I have in mind. It's only a pointless deferral anyway. Fleeing from Hun will not stop the Hunters from coming after Midoya. No, there is only one way to end this." His smile widened. "We are going to have to kill the Zodiacs. And either you are with us or you will die as well."

Ging blinked. Machi blinked. Even Moonshine blinked. Only Midoya, still half a corpse, looked as cool as a cucumber with his declaration.

"Wow," Ging said finally. "Hard core. I see why you like this man, Midoya."

"Indeed, it is tough to find a man more brutal and colder than my Kuroro. Just so you know, I have reached the same conclusion as Kuroro," Midoya said wryly. "If possible, it would have been nice to attempt to negotiate with the Zodiacs, but we are past that now. There is nothing I can possibly offer that the Zodiacs will want. In return, there is nothing the Zodiacs can offer me now that will buy my trust ever again."

"It was mostly Pariston you know," Ging grumbled. "You guys really see this as the only way out, huh?" At the expression on their faces, he shook his head and sighed. "I can't help you with killing the Zodiacs," he said. "I'm sorry Midoya, I just can't. Without them, the Hunter Association will collapse, and all that Netero had ever worked for will be gone. I can't let you do that."

"I knew you would say that," Midoya said coolly. "Our truce holds for another hour. Get out of here."

Nodding, Ging straightened up and turned to leave. At the doorway, he paused and said, "I really am sorry." Hesitation flickered over his face and he added, "Goodbye."

The door closed quietly behind him and the tension in the room slowly dissipated. Midoya sagged against Kuroro and he gently lowered her into the gurney again. He studied the expression of quiet sadness on her face and asked, "Lover?"

Midoya gave him a surprised look. "Friend," she corrected. "Drunken one-night stand on my twenty-first birthday too, but mostly a good friend, a trusted friend. I don't have many of those so it's always sad to lose one."

Kuroro nodded in understanding. "They're hard to come by for people like us."

"You would know, my dear. He's mine to kill when the time comes, Kuroro."

"Even in the state you are in now?"

"But of course." Midoya smiled. "I have hidden depths and plans that cover the range of the alphabet. Underestimate me at your own risk."

"I've already learned that lesson a long time ago." Kuroro looked at Machi and Moonshine. "If Ging knows we are here then chances are the rest of the Zodiacs do too. We move out now. I'll carry Midoya since I am capable of defending myself with only one hand. Machi, watch the back. Moonshine, since you are more familiar with this building than the rest of us, will you be so kind as to take the lead?"

"Since you asked politely," Moonshine replied reluctantly with his usual scowl. "Where are we going?"

"An excellent question." Carefully, Kuroro bundled Midoya into his arms, doing his best not to move her too much in the fear of reopening her wounds. "Now then, we have to presume our actions will be monitored by the Zodiacs. An attack could come at any moment, so our best bet is meeting up with the rest with as much expediency as possible." He nodded at Machi. "You said they were near Corridor F"

"Yeah."

"Then they are taking the same route we did to reach this corridor. We are going to head out now and meet them there."

"You think it's safer to be on the move than staying in here?" Moonshine interrupted.

"A moving target is always harder to hit." Ignoring the doubtful look Moonshine gave him, Kuroro looked down at the woman in his arms. "Will this be okay with you, Midoya? You will be in slightly more danger now."

She looked back at him, her expression as calm and as confident as if she were sitting safely in her (mostly) well-protected penthouse. "Of course, Kuroro. I'm not entirely defenceless." To his amazement, she produced a slender, paper-thin blade obviously designed for throwing out of nowhere, before making it disappear.

"How on earth do you still have that with you when you were dragged naked from an autopsy table?" Kuroro asked, puzzled.

"Ah, but if I told you that, I'll also have to tell you exactly where I hide all my weapons, and I doubt you will like that." At Kuroro's expression, she winked cheekily. "A girl must have her secrets."

"Or risk scarring her friends for life," Kuroro agreed. "But come, enough talk. Lead the way, Moonshine, and if you see anything that looks wrong at us in anyway whatsoever…"

"I'll twist off its fucking head and make it blow me."

"Only if that is what you like, my good man, only if that's what you like."

The entire corridor leading to the meeting room where the Zodiacs were was a frenzy of activity. Hunters, hard-faced, dangerous-looking people ran about, dragging furniture and other heavy objects to the form a barricade that spanned the entire corridor. Other Hunters stood by the barricade, infusing each object that went into it with Nen to make them more durable. Even more Hunters further down the corridor lay a varied assortment of traps, both physical and Nen-based, that would do a great deal of damage to anyone who set them off. Deep within the conference room, the Zodiacs themselves bustled about, giving orders here and there, pouring over maps and other documents, and generally preparing as well as they could for the incoming assault.

"It's not going to be enough," Pariston said cheerfully, loud enough that the whole room could hear him. Cheadle glared at him sharply but didn't say a word. "Even if Midoya is incapacitated, I have no doubt each and every one of the Nen-users coming will at least be as powerful as her." He smiled widely, obviously enjoying himself. "We're about to be attacked by at least eight Midoyas. I doubt that pile of dead wood is going to give them much pause at all."

"Stop yapping and do something useful," Kanzai snapped, a growl in his voice. "Ging warned us so we could take precautions, damn it! We would be stupid not to use this time!"

"Erm…" Ging mumbled from the corner he had been brooding in. "Actually I warned you just so you know. Didn't really think we could do anything to stop the Ryodan now that they're on their way."

"The Ryodan and Midoya," Pariston added almost gleefully. "As wounded as she is, I doubt she is any less dangerous than she usually is. If anything, my bets are that she is more dangerous than usual. Imagine cornering a wounded lion in a cave. Imagine its desperation. Imagine the kind of power that can create."

"Will you stop that?" Cheadle finally demanded, her voice quiet enough though anger simmered beneath it. "You are not helping morale by suggesting we simply sit back and wait to die."

"Oh, not at all, Cheadle-san. You mistake my intentions. I do not intend to die at all. I fully intend to battle with Midoya and her companions, and destroy them." Pariston smiled widely. "That's what Chairman Netero ordered after all, isn't it?"

"I still wonder why," Ging muttered but didn't continue when Pariston looked his way.

Yes, Pariston had wondered the same many times. In truth, though many of the Zodiacs were of the opinion that it wasn't that much of a surprise given how untameable Midoya was, Pariston personally always thought that Netero had a very high regard for the last of his disciples. Certainly, there was some disapproval, yes, but the same could be said for all the other disciples Netero had ever had. If anything, Pariston personally suspected that Netero would have disapproved more of a disciple who only did what he said than a disciple who ran wild doing other things. Of course, Midoya pushed the boundaries a lot more than Netero's other disciples had. If it wasn't enough that she was only a very reluctant participant in Association activities, she had enough personal wealth and power to cause a lot of trouble if she so wished (and she had of course, countless times). So perhaps it really wasn't that surprising that Netero wanted her gone. Perhaps Netero felt the Zodiacs would have trouble containing her. Well, if he did, he was certainly right. The Zodiacs had failed to put down Midoya, even after she had fallen so neatly into his trap, and now they were trapped within their own secret bunker awaiting death.

"If we manage to hold them off for three days, reinforcements can be sent in from the neighbouring continents," Cheadle was saying. "We can then launch a pincer attack on them. We can do it."

"Yeah, of course," Ging said doubtfully.

"If we can hold them off for three days at all," Pariston murmured, smiling.

Sure death was on its way here; sure death in the form of a half-dead woman and her small army of cold-blooded murderers. And they, the poor prey were stuck in a death trap.

Pariston's smile widened into a grin. He hadn't had this much fun in ages.

The ant flew in a beautiful arc through the air, smashing bloodily against the ceiling before crumbling to the floor in a heap of innards. Moonshine barely glanced at the mess as he continued to pummel through the ants filling the corridor, a thick layer of powerful Nen humming around his body as he did. Behind them, Machi's threads whipped through the air, invisible and deadly in the chaos, seeking out the weaknesses in the ants' armours and ripping them apart in a cascade of blood and guts. Hardly any of the enemies managed to make it past this powerful barrage of attacks, but those that did found themselves screaming as Kuroro, book in hand, calmly blew out their eyes with Sightless Hell, leaving them blind and vulnerable for either Machi or Moonshine to pick off.

Arms around his neck, head buried against his neck, Midoya happily hummed off-tune a few bars from the Ride of the Valkyries. It made his ears hurt to hear it, but he tried not to complain. At least she wasn't squirming around as she had been earlier when she had tried to watch Machi fighting behind them. Midoya was a not exactly a petite woman, and carrying her for so long was turning out to be more tiring than he had anticipated.

Shifting her slightly so he could carry her with both arms and still be able to use his book, Kuroro adjusted his grip under her knees before causing another ant's eyes to explode in twin streams of viscous fluids. "How close are we to Corridor F?" he asked.

In his arms, Midoya glanced at the map on his phone. "Not too far," she said. "A right turn ahead then a left turn and we're there. I presume your Ryodan and Pepeka would have been advancing towards us, so it is possible we might meet them on Corridor G instead. A ten to fifteen minute walk then."

"Machi. Moonshine. Fifteen minutes."

"Might be enough to warm me up before we meet the Zodiacs, though I very much doubt it," Machi drawled, deliberately yawning just to make her point. "How about you, old man?"

"I've been fighting magical beasts way before you were even out of diapers, kid," Moonshine growled. "Fifteen minutes are just a blink of the eye for me."

"How nice to know," Kuroro replied, stepping over the carcasses on the ground. "I honestly did not expect to encounter so many ants," he murmured, so only Midoya could hear him. "It makes me wonder if we should have stayed in the room instead."

"Of course not," Midoya replied confidently. "Better to fight them in the relative openness of the corridors than the enclosed space of the morgue." She looked around a bit more then added, "Interesting that we haven't seen any hunters though. I think the hunters have barricaded themselves somewhere and then simply let all the ants free in the hopes that the ants will kill us or at least slow us down enough that we can be killed more easily later." She frowned. "That would mean they must have sealed off all exists in the Fort. There's no way the association will risk another ant infestation. The last one cost them the life of Chairman Netero and countless other hunters. I heard Ging's son was involved too and is now lying on his deathbed."

"These ants aren't trained to attack us then," Kuroro concluded. "I had wondered if the hunters had successfully bred ants that could be trained. It seems they are instinctively attacking us. That might be something we can use."

"A few ideas do come to mind." Midoya smiled. "Are you planning what I think you are planning? If you are, you are more devious a bastard than I ever gave you credit for."

"I've been known to plan a thing or two of a devious nature, yes." Kuroro cocked his head, listening intently. "And I believe we've found our companions much earlier than anticipated."

The thick wall of ants in front of them suddenly exploded in a shower of blood and guts, and Phinx, Nobunaga and Feitan came tunnelling through, limbs moving faster than the naked eye could see. Moonshine, who was right in front of them, made a startled noise and leapt back nimbly, just in time to avoid getting gutted himself.

Sliding on the bloodied floor, the three of them skidded to a stop in front of Kuroro.

"Thirty-four."

"Thirty-six."

"Forty."

Both Phinx and Nobunaga made disappointed noises as Feitan smirked. "Pay up," he demanded. "And hi Dancho." The other two echoed the greeting as they grudgingly passed bills over to Feitan.

"Hello," Kuroro replied, smiling despite himself then added to Shalnark, who had walked up, "That man there is a friend of ours. Please do not kill him."

"I wasn't going to kill him," Shalnark said shiftily, stealthily slipping the antenna in his hand back into his pocket. "Hi Dancho." He paused and stared at the bundle of black and fur in Kuroro's arms. "Erm… is that Kito's body?"

"Yes it is, though I believe it is not polite to refer to me as a mere hunk of flesh," Midoya said warmly, pulling the fur collar down so she could see them. "Hello dear."

That got the Ryodan members and they turned as one to stare at her. "Aren't you supposed to be dead? Why aren't you dead?" Nobunaga demanded. "Huh. Damn, this is some fucking déjà vu. Why are you always not dead every time we think you're dead?"

"For that matter," Feitan added, one eyebrow raised, "why are you always half naked every time we think you are dead?"

"It's a personality quirk of mine," Midoya quipped. "Underwear, death and I do not get along."

"At least you are wearing more clothes now than the last time we saw you."

"Hey, that means no funeral pyre and wicker man," Phinx complained. "And we had the logistics planned out perfectly too."

"Oh yes," Shalnark exclaimed disappointedly. "I've even gotten Franklin and Shizuku to start stockpiling explosives so we could blow up the mafia buildings! Now it's all going to go to waste!"

"I'm sure we can use those for something else," Kuroro replied, having absolutely no idea what they were talking about.

A large boulder of a man shoved through the Ryodan suddenly, eliciting loud noises of protests, and grounded to a halt in front of Kuroro. "Sensei," Pepeka Timbal choked disbelievingly. His mouth opened to say more but words failed him. Abruptly, he dropped to his knees in front of them and pressed his forehead against the back of Midoya's hand.

Midoya made a pained sound and Kuroro warned, "Be careful. She's wounded."

Pepeka let go immediately, towering over Kuroro as he stared anxiously at the both of them. "What? What was that?" he asked, panicked. "Wounds?"

"Her wounds. She had a Y-incision performed on her," Kuroro explained. "Machi sewed it up but if we're not careful, we'll reopen her wounds."

"Fuck," Pepeka muttered, lifting his large, clumsy hands off her immediately. "Are you okay, sensei? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to grab you like that. Good lord, they did a Y -incision on you? They were doing an autopsy on you? My god, are you sure you are okay? Are you missing any organs?" He stopped and stared. "Holy shit, you are alive! Are you… are you a zombie or something?"

Midoya laughed breathlessly. "Fear nor, dear Pepeka, I am alive, not undead, and perfectly fine," she said, smiling warmly despite the pain Kuroro knew she was feeling. "Did I scare you? I am dreadfully sorry." She held out a surprisingly firm hand which Pepeka took reverently with trembling care. "Be assured of my health. We should continue on our little mission before the ants or hunters find a way to trap us here."

"What mission is this?" Shalnark asked from behind Pepeka. "Machi said there's a change in plans."

"Yes," Kuroro agreed. "Though now that I think about it, it's still pretty much more of the same. We're going to kill the Zodiacs, but I'm happy to stop at there. We have reached the conclusion that there is little hope of us actually escaping the grasp of the association, so the only thing we can do is destroy the people giving the orders. That should end the hunt on Midoya and give us the opportunity to escape."

"Sounds like a good idea," Pepeka said darkly. "Those bastards deserve to be killed in the most brutal manner I can think of. Fingernails, anyone? I found a pair of pliers in one of the janitor closets."

Midoya blinked in surprise and stared at Pepeka. "I thought you would have protested, not agree to it and then propose even more violence than we have planned," she said, bemused. "What on earth happened…" Her eyes hardened and she turned a sharp glare on the male Ryodan members. "Okay, who's been corrupting my disciple?" she demanded.

"Nobu," Phinx said immediately and Nobunaga somehow glared furiously at him while wilting under Midoya's intense, accusing look.

"I didn't do nothing," Nobunaga shot back. "He's just growing up, okay? All little boys need to grow up and see things differently."

"I am seeing things in a different light," Pepeka said thoughtfully. "It's… it's not that bad a thing, is it, sensei?"

Midoya blinked again then hesitantly settled back into Kuroro's arms. "Well, it's not a bad thing I suppose," she said slowly. "I do kind of miss my innocent little Pepeka though."

"Me too," Pepeka said mournfully.

"Pepeka's innocence or not aside," Shalnark interrupted, "Dancho, do you have any plans regarding how we are going to kill the Zodiacs?"

"Ah yes, regarding that." A faint smile ghosted over Kuroro's lips. "Tell me, Shalnark, how do you feel about cooking?"

Truth be told, Shalnark felt about cooking pretty much the same way he felt about shaving, bathing and brushing his teeth – it was a necessary chore that should be accomplished with the least amount of effort required to do an acceptable job of it. While Dancho was to cooking what Wordsworth was to poetry, Shalnark personally believed that as long as it wouldn't make him sick and that it provided him with the number of calories a man of his age, size and occupation required then that was sufficient. All in all, that made Shalnark a terrible cook.

At least that's what he thought until he saw Kito's idea of cooking.

"Hey look, brains!" Kito remarked cheerfully from the corner where she was sitting, enthusiastically scooping brains out of a cracked skull with a spatula Timbal had liberated from one of the labs. "I feel like a zombie doing this."

"You are practically half-one anyway," Shalnark commented neutrally.

It wasn't that she was necessarily a bad cook; it was just the way she liked to play with the ingredients that put Shalnark's stomach on the edge. He was just grateful that what they were cooking wasn't meant for their consumption.

"I can make the eyes jiggle in the skull! Look Shalnark, the decapitated head is making eyes at you!"

"You make very bad puns," Shalnark observed and returned to the large pot boiling in front of him.

"That wasn't a pun, dear, it was just a very bad joke."

"Sorry, literary terms aren't my forte." Given a choice, Shalnark would not have wanted to be stuck with Kito. It wasn't that she was an unpleasant woman or anything like that. If anything, she was friendly and polite and everything Shalnark generally liked in a person. However, there was just something incredibly disturbing about her that made Shalnark wary of her presence despite her obvious good-nature. The fact that she was wearing Dancho's coat and nothing else didn't help much either. With her pale skin and dark hair, it made her look like a shorter, fatter, uglier female version of Dancho which was wrong in so many ways. Still, there wasn't much of a choice, he supposed. The roles the rest of Ryodan and Kito's friends were playing in this mission required a lot more movement than Kito was capable of at the moment. Hence, Dancho had given her the job of helping Shalnark whip up a nice big pot of – Shalnark dropped an amputated leg into the pot – corpses and carcasses.

"It smells good," Kito commented from her corner, where she was helping Shalnark slice the corpses into smaller pieces with a dagger she had produced out of nowhere. She was really good at it. If Shalnark hadn't been from the Ryodan, he would have been disturbed. "It's missing something though."

"Uh huh," Shalnark commented ambivalently, staring as the amputated leg floated to the top of the broth, pushed up by the bubbling mess of blood and body parts.

"I think it needs some salt. Maybe a dash of thyme. What do you think?"

Since he had no idea what 'thyme' was, Shalnark just said, "Salt is good, I guess. I've used salt in chum before though."

"Come to think of it, I am rather hungry. I can't remember the last time I ate anything. I think it was at least two days ago," Kito continued on. "Pepeka and I ate at the port before we came over. It was a nice big bowl of soup. There was fish in it and squid and some potatoes… It tasted awful, to tell you the truth, but what wouldn't I give to have a bowl of that now." She paused and added, "You might want to give the pot a stir or the meat at the bottom will burn. I'm not sure how ants feel about burnt meat, but we should be careful."

"Uh, yeah." Shalnark grabbed a stick that had once been part of a broom and gave the bubbling concoction a good stir.

"Wait, if my memory serves me well, Kuroro always keeps some food in his coat… ah! Raspberry biscuits!" Unwrapping the morsel of food quickly, Kito groaned as she bit into a biscuit. "Oh, food. I love food," she mumbled with her mouth full. "You want some?"

Shalnark looked at the biscuit offered to him, two biscuits with something red and wet and viscous in between them, looking somewhat like the contents of the port. But it wasn't of course. It was silly to think that the contents of the pot were raspberry. He took a biscuit and took a bite out of it. "It's a little dry," he finally said. "It could use more raspberry puree."

"It is," she agreed, chewing contentedly. "Still, food is food, I suppose, and I am not inclined to be a picky eater at the moment."

"Uh huh," Shalnark commented. Another thought occurred to him and he added, "I hope your digestive system was put back properly though, if not you'll have a problem on your hands, Kito."

Kito laughed pleasantly. "You are cute," she said, sounding pleased. "Kuroro's description of the Ryodan gave me the impression that most of you are somewhere on the evolutionary line between gorillas and Big Foot. I'm glad to see there are exceptions to the rule. "

"Dancho said that?" Shalnark asked, surprised. It wasn't like Dancho, or any of the Ryodan members really, to talk about the Ryodan, even in the vaguest and most unspecific of terms. If there was one rule in the Ryodan, it was that you don't speak about the Ryodan. Well, given that Dancho was the one who came up with that rule, he had all the right in the world to break it, Shalnark supposed. Still…"What else did he say?"

"That you're all powerful, amoral, materialistic, stubborn little bastards who follow no rules but his," Kito said cheerfully. "He also mentioned that most of you are from Meteor City which, from his description, sounds like the ugly brother of the biggest cesspool in the world. All general knowledge that can be found on the web really, so there's no need to look so alarmed, dear. I can assure you your Dancho did not tell me any of the Ryodan's secrets."

"Yes," Shalnark agreed, though it was still weird Dancho actually talked about the Ryodan. Suddenly, all the questions the rest of the Ryodan had been raising about Dancho's relationship with Kito seemed much more important than Shalnark had previously thought. "So erm… you know, we've been wondering actually… about you and Dancho…" He stopped when he realised she was no longer looking at him but down the corridor behind him.

She met his eyes and smiled. "I'll be a good girl and sit here," she said with entirely too jovial a wink.

With a sigh, Shalnark turned around, antenna already in one hand. Three Chimera ants stared back at him, slobbering madly onto the floor. Each of them was tiny, no more than four feet tall and a foot wide, looking for all the world like miniature wolves with a severe case of sunburn. Unfortunately, their limbs were lined with wicked looking claws and they looked fast. Well, the odds were definitely not in his favour. Of course, with his powers, he was capable of evening the odds a little.

Carefully, Shalnark slid into a combat position, already mapping out the fight in his head. He would go for the one slightly behind the other two. Once the antenna was stuck in, he and his new puppet will launch a pincer attack against the two remaining ants.

Without warning, the trio surged forward as one, howling for blood. Reacting almost immediately, Shalnark instinctively leapt up and over their charge, flicking his antenna towards his selected prey as planned. It went straight in smoothly and the ant's trajectory changed as Shalnark directed it towards one of the remaining ants. Still directing his puppet with his right hand, Shalnark bounced down and leapt for the last ant – but it was too fast. Shalnark's stomach dropped as he realised that the last ant had gotten nearer to Kito than he had planned to allow it to.

"Watch out!" he shouted uselessly as the ant leapt upon Kito with a snarl.

He saw her swing the dagger at it with her right arm, but the ant was too fast. It leapt over her swing and came down on her hard, jaws clamping around her wrist. Kito cried out in pain and yanked the ant sharply to her right.

That was why the ant didn't see when she lifted the Nen-reinforced wrapper of the biscuit she had just eaten with her left hand and swung it down in a sharp arc that sliced through the bamboo-thin neck and took off the ant's head. Severed from the body, the jaws relaxed and the head dropped onto Kito's lap.

Shalnark tried not to look too impressed and failed.

"Oh look, more ingredients for the soup," Kito said as if she were simply walking down the aisle of a shopping mall instead of holding the head of a mutated man-eating ant in her lap.

"Are you hurt?" Shalnark asked anxiously. He really didn't want to be scolded by Dancho if Kito got hurt. It would only be marginally less painful than getting scolded by Dancho if Kito got killed.

"Oh, it's fine," Kito replied, examining her wrist. "It barely got me. Good thing I used Kou when I did. Oh goodness, Kuroro's coat is drenched in blood. I hope he wouldn't get mad with me. Well, I have seen it survive worse. Do you know it survived being wrapped in Juwasi mucous once? How remarkable is that. I believe his coat is quiet indestructible, so I guess that's fine." She beamed happily at him.

"Uh huh." Shalnark bent over and picked up the wrapper she had used to kill the ant. In his hands, it had now turned into a crinkly, harmless piece of plastic that was only dangerous if you were dumb enough to swallow it.

"So," Kito said conversationally. "What were you asking before we were so rudely interrupted?"

Shalnark looked up from the wrapper and stared at her friendly, smiling face. "Nothing," he replied. "Nothing at all."

A/N: As usual, hope you guys enjoyed this chapter.

Trivial: When Moonshine pulled Midoya off the autopsy table, she had a grand total of seventeen weapons on her naked corpse. Don't ask.