Thank you to Aisuru for your character and question.
Dear Lowly Pathetic Human,
I am a full-bloodied youkai with a long and glorious history, and I gave up my own renounced position among my brethren to become the loyal slave of a great youkai lord. I have been honored to serve him for hundreds of years, aiding him in the defense of his vast territories and being faithful in every task appointed me. Recently, though, he has developed this unnatural fondness of another lowly, pathetic human. Not only is this new companion a lowly, pathetic human, but it is a child female, and I fear he expects me to dote on this horribly disgusting creature. It needs to eat three or more times a day, it sleeps every single night without fail, and it dares to speak to my master without being spoken to first. How can I rip this annoyance to tiny, bloody pieces without facing the wrath of my most-wonderful master? Should I try to make it look like an accident so I can be available to comfort my master at his time of loss? Ack!
Signed,
The Only Worthy Companion of the Great One
Dear Lowly, Pathetic, Asshole Butt-Monkey,
Who are you calling a lowly pathetic human, you stupid fat fuck? I'm a fucking god around here! And if you think that you are the only one who is worthy of the Fluffy-ness's companionship, you got another thing coming to you! I know a lot of fangirls who can mow you down in one giant mob if they see your master! So, just fuck you, you fucking fuck!
Sincerely,
SiriousB1, God of the Advice Columns
P.S.
Next time you pass a cliff, kick a rock in the human girl's direction while your master isn't looking. With luck, she'll trip on it and fall to her death on the jagged rocks at the bottom.
Thank you to DG and Crew for your question.
Dear SiriousB1,
What do you have against us cats and animal sidekicks?
Signed,
Animal sidekicks and cats
Dear You All,
I have nothing against you…you all just happen to have the tendancy to scare the crap out of me! I mean, you pop up every three seconds at random times during the anime and mangas when no one expects it just to be annoying and…well, random! YOU ARE CREEPY!!
Sincerely,
SiriousB1
Dear Lowly Pathetic Human,
I am a full-bloodied youkai with a long and glorious history, and I gave up my own renounced position among my brethren to become the loyal slave of a great youkai lord. I have been honored to serve him for hundreds of years, aiding him in the defense of his vast territories and being faithful in every task appointed me. Recently, though, he has developed this unnatural fondness of another lowly, pathetic human. Not only is this new companion a lowly, pathetic human, but it is a child female, and I fear he expects me to dote on this horribly disgusting creature. It needs to eat three or more times a day, it sleeps every single night without fail, and it dares to speak to my master without being spoken to first. How can I rip this annoyance to tiny, bloody pieces without facing the wrath of my most-wonderful master? Should I try to make it look like an accident so I can be available to comfort my master at his time of loss? Ack!
Signed,
The Only Worthy Companion of the Great One
Dear Lowly, Pathetic, Asshole Butt-Monkey,
Who are you calling a lowly pathetic human, you stupid fat fuck? I'm a fucking god around here! And if you think that you are the only one who is worthy of the Fluffy-ness's companionship, you got another thing coming to you! I know a lot of fangirls who can mow you down in one giant mob if they see your master! So, just fuck you, you fucking fuck!
Sincerely,
SiriousB1, God of the Advice Columns
P.S.
Next time you pass a cliff, kick a rock in the human girl's direction while your master isn't looking. With luck, she'll trip on it and fall to her death on the jagged rocks at the bottom.
Thank you to DG and Crew for your question.
Dear SiriousB1,
What do you have against us cats and animal sidekicks?
Signed,
Animal sidekicks and cats
Dear You All,
I have nothing against you…you all just happen to have the tendancy to scare the crap out of me! I mean, you pop up every three seconds at random times during the anime and mangas when no one expects it just to be annoying and…well, random! YOU ARE CREEPY!!
Sincerely,
SiriousB1