I don't own either of these characters. I just have sweet thoughts about them after a semi-autobiographical chapter about eatable teachers.
Theme song for this chapter is "I Am" by Hanson. Go look it up… it's a great song. Trust me.
Just Another Reason to Love Alice
I think the people in the world who make life exceedingly difficult are simply afraid to enjoy life. These people piss me off profoundly. There is nothing in the world that I cannot stand more than people who do not enjoy life. You would think with being immortal and just living on and on that enjoying life would get tedious, but it doesn't. In fact it has the exact opposite effect. I have so much more time to enjoy life right now. And since I have now finished my paper, and have time to kill I am doing just that.
I just got off the phone with Alice. Of course the phone rang as soon as I hit the submit button. She said she would be home from shopping in an hour and then every naughty thought I had before can be a reality. If that is the case I think we need to go find some place to hide in the woods for these activities…
I like life… probably more now than I did when I had a heartbeat and my days were numbered. I like doing little things that make Alice smile. And with an unlimited number of days ahead of me I can find every last way possible to make that happen.
I like holding Alice in my arms. I could do it forever, literally.
I like when I get to walk with her on my arm and can find the smallest, simplest flower to give her. Most people think Alice's entire life is centered on shopping and clothing. It's not true. She really is a simple creature. It's just that she doesn't have any human memories and so she is still trying to recapture all the things the rest of us still remember. The loving, sweet smile that comes across her face when I hand her one of these tiny gems is the most exhilarating thing to me, it could almost start my dead heart.
I like going for walks with her. I like getting to just walk along and enjoy a sunny day, or even a down pour, and just talk. We can talk about anything. I can tell her everything that ever made me afraid. I can tell her every hope and dream I ever had in the 166 years of my existence. She tells me everything. When we first met, probably on the first of our many walks like this, she told me all the things she imagined about her human life. She is so innocent and open about everything about herself. Even without my powers I would always know how she was feeling, every moment we were together. Her enduring and undying love is the first thing about her I fell in love with.
I love how – quite literally – I haven't had to worry about what to wear since the day I met her. Actually before that I had two pairs of clothes… dirty ones and dirtier ones. After I was with Maria most of my clothes were covered in vampire guts and human blood. After I met Maria the last thing on my mind was clothing. Really. The day I met Alice she bought me some clothes. Apparently the ones I was wearing were "hideous." She bought me new clothes and has laid out clothing for me every morning since then. I'm a simple creature really. Even more simple than Alice. My head is usually up in the clouds. I like philosophy and intellectual things. I could care less what I was wearing. If it wasn't for Alice I probably would have gone out many days in my boxers. Although I'm sure many of the girls in Forks wouldn't have minded, I think Alice would have. Have I mentioned she can be very possessive and protective of those she loves – most especially me? Alice may seem abrasive in her habits of dressing people, but she never picks out anything I wouldn't like, so I always have on things I would pick out if I paid enough attention to pick out my own clothes. God I love that woman. She totally understands my lack of attentiveness to these things and takes very good care of me. I am rather pale… I think even on a rainy day, if I was out in my boxers someone would be blinded. Wow I love Alice. Is she home yet?
Alice understands my need to hate myself sometimes. Well maybe understands isn't the right word. She would love for me to love myself the way she does. I know it hurts her when I hate myself so strongly that I take myself away from her sometimes. I think what it really is, is that she has learned that this is part of who I am and what I have lived through – in the end she loves me for all of it; even if I don't deserve it. I know that I hurt her in hating myself sometimes, and I love her more for her forgiveness of me after those times. I hope that one day I won't have to hurt her. One day I am going to be the man she believes I am. I think she sees into the future and sees the man that I'm going to become… eventually. I think she loves that I try so hard every day to be that man. I love her even more for loving me.
So yes… even wanting to eat my stupid professor for being stupid and annoying… it all just makes me love Alice more. Emmett likes to say I'm pussy whipped (Reason #11 Why I Hate Emmett). Edward thinks I'm still a wounded "little boy" who needs therapy (reason #11 Why I Hate Edward – When did he become a psychologist?). But I love Alice more than life itself, more than the air I breath (needlessly), more than the blood I crave, more than the clothes she makes sure I ware before leaving the house, more than the AMAZING (and I do mean the MOST AMAZING) sex we have. The whole world and everything in it makes me love Alice more! I know I'm twisted but she loves me anyway!
And now you can love Jasper too! Do you want to see Jasper leave the house in his boxers in the morning? Do you love him even though he is twisted? I know I do. Do you want to know how to make this happen? Leave reviews!