He was gone the next morning. Leia ran around the base for hours, searching frantically for her son. Of course, he was nowhere to be found. Kylo wasn't at the mess, he wasn't at the air field. His room was empty. No one had seen him. Rey wasn't surprised. She'd suspected last night would be their last. It did nothing to soften the blow; nothing could have prepared Rey for the heartbreak, the betrayal. If possible, Leia was even worse. The strong general completely broke down, sinking to her knees and sobbing. Rey went to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulder.
"I thought I had him back," Leia whispered. "Now I've lost him again."
Rey didn't know what to say, it was impossible to comfort Leia while she was so miserable herself. She felt tears begin to run down her own cheeks, soon she was weeping along with the general. "He's been struggling for a long time. He never talked about it but I could tell. I knew and I didn't do anything. I thought if I just ignored it, it would go away. I thought he'd get better. This is all my fault."
"Don't you even think that Rey." Leia got to her feet, pulling Rey along with her. "You did everything you could of. You fought so hard."
"I wish he'd never come back," Rey sobbed. "Why couldn't he have just stayed away?"
"Luke always says the pull to the dark is strong, it's like an addiction. He says it's almost impossible to resist. You're the only reason he was able to fight it this long." Leia took Rey's hand. "You gave him strength. He loved you so much."
"Not enough," said Rey. "He didn't love me enough to stay. He abandoned me, just like everyone else. I'm alone again." She turned away from Leia and broke into a run. Tears continued to well in her eyes, blurring her vision. Rey didn't know where she was going until she reached their tree, she wrapped her arms around its trunk and sobbed into the bark until she couldn't breathe. It was Jakku all over again, the loneliness was crushing. She couldn't go through this, not again. Sinking to the ground, she buried her face in her hands. Suddenly, she felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked up to see Finn sitting beside her.
"Oh Rey I'm so sorry," he said. "I can't imagine how hard this must be for you."
A fresh wave of tears washed over Rey. "I feel so stupid," she muttered."I can't believe let myself get involved with him." She wiped her eyes. "I actually thought he loved me."
"You are not stupid," Finn insisted. "You're an extraordinary person. You have faith in people, even after all you've been through. You believed in Kylo Ren, just like you believed in me."
"There's a difference," Rey said. "You never betrayed me. He did."
"Leaving the First Order is hard, Rey." Finn looked off into the distance, as though he were remembering things he would of preferred to forget. "It's almost impossible."
"You did it," Rey reminded him. "You haven't gone back."
"Our experiences were very different. I was a Stormtrooper, one of many. Kylo was Snoke's pet, there was no way he was going to let him go without a fight." Finn pulled Rey closer to him, she rested her head on his shoulder. "You're the only reason he was able to resist this long."
"That's what Leia said." Rey sighed. "I'm tired of hearing it."
"Well it's true," said Finn.
"I don't know how I'm going to get through this, Finn." Rey had stopped crying; her tears were replaced by an overwhelming emptiness. "It hurts so much."
"It'll get easier." Finn smiled sadly. "I know you'll be alright. You're a survivor."
"I wish I didn't have to be." Rey leaned back against the trunk of the tree.
"Hey, I'm meeting Poe at the Cantina later. Want to come?"
"Thanks, but I just want to be alone for a little while."
Finn stood up and brushed the dirt off his legs. "Rey?"
"Yeah?"
"You aren't alone. You never will be. I hope you know that." He walked back towards camp.
"Thank you Finn," Rey whispered.