Disclaimer: Not mine!
As soon as she was done, she pulled back and swiped her cheeks with the back of her hand, then gave a watery chuckle when Gibbs handed her a handkerchief. "Thank you," she whispered. Then, stronger, she continued. "I am sorry, Gibbs. I should not have done that."
Gibbs simply gave her a look.
"The crying, I mean. I know you haven't gotten much sleep either," she defended herself.
He shrugged. "I've had worse nights. And you know better than to break Rule 6," he said with a smile. Letting it fade, he said, "You want to talk about it?"
"It was just a dream. It was not real," she said, not looking at him.
"Yeah, pretty sure that's the definition of nightmares. But it looked pretty serious."
She sighed. "It was just a different version of a dream I have had since…Somalia," she whispered. She hung her head, ashamed of herself. She had been raised that letting others see your emotions was a sign of weakness. And weakness was not allowed, could not be allowed. So, hearing her father's voice saying that he didn't believe she had a conscience, that he didn't want her to have one was messing with her mind, which was already screwed up after Africa.
Gibbs reached over and pulled the curtain of hair away so that he could see her face. "You never talk about it," he pointed out.
"I cannot." Then she sighed again. She owed him an explanation for that, if not for Somalia. "I had wished for death. So I shut down. For months I did not feel anything. I have decided that being like that is what hell must be like. An inability to feel."
"So when your father commented on you conscience…"
"If he wants me to go through my life like I had in Saleem's camp, he is not my father. I was nearly able to forgive him for leaving me there. I mean, I have always known that to him, Israel comes before family. It is why he is so good at his job. So leaving me there, I could almost live with. But him wanting me to feel that everyday? A true father does not want that for his daughter."
"Well, that's the true meaning of family. They let you feel what you feel; the good, the bad and the ugly." He was about to continue when her cell phone rang on the table next to the bed.
She grabbed for it, looked apologetically at Gibbs, and answered it. "David."
"Agent David, this is Leon Vance."
"Director, good morning."
He laughed. "I think its closer to afternoon at this point, but yes, same to you. I was wondering if you and Agent Gibbs would come in sometime today. I know that after the events the last 12 hours you wish to rest, but we have some things to deal with."
"Of course, Director. We will be there," she said and hung up. Gibbs gave her a curious look. "Vance wants us to come in sometime today to discuss the events this morning."
Gibbs nodded. He knew that they would have to do that. "You want some more sleep? Or should I take you to your place so you can shower and change?"
"Home, please. I do not think I could fall back asleep."
"Alright, well, I'll wait for you, since your car is still at NCIS."
She was about to object, saying that she would call a cab, but she recognized the look in his eyes. It was the same one she wore at her most stubborn. She laughed. "Alright. You go do what you do in the morning, I will pick up in here."
Gibbs nodded, and fifteen minutes later, they were in his car headed to her apartment. As soon as they were inside, she pointed to the kitchen. "Help yourself, you must be hungry. I will only be a few minutes."
He went into her fridge and found half of a veggie lasagna, so he broke off two squares (one for Ziva) and stuck them in the microwave. Before he was halfway done with his, she came into the kitchen in clean clothes, her wet hair tied into a bun.
"That was fast," he commented, waving a hand at her plate.
She sat and took a bite. "I kind of want to hurry and get to NCIS. Find out what is going to happen with Eli," she said.
"Understandable."
The two finished their lunch and left. As soon as they got to NCIS, they weren't really shocked to find Tony and McGee there, waiting. "Vance call you?" Ziva asked.
"No, but we figured you'd be here sometime today to talk to him," McGee said.
"Yeah, wanted to make sure you'd be okay," Tony said quietly.
She nodded in thanks, and she and Gibbs went upstairs. "The director in?" he asked the assistant.
"Yes, he's expecting you," she said nodding him. And the two walked in to find two Directors sitting on opposite sides of the table.
A/N: Cliffhanger, I know! But I have to get to studying for midterms, and wanted to update for you all. Love it? Hate it? Let me know!