Hey guys. I'm back after my two oneshots, cuz now I've lost ideas for more stories, so I figured I'd get the next installment up and ready for review spams lol XD

Anyways, what I forgot to mention last chapter, which you all would've known, is the addition of Camille. Of course she's gonna play a vital role, otherwise I could've brought the Jagan action much more sooner...but how fun would that have been, pfft. Probably not as well as what I had planned but yeah, the Jagan will be here soon, I promise ya.

Also, big shoutouts to my new friend, Mochi no Yume, who's a pretty awesome character, Ranorexic, For finally returning to fanfic world (though I doubt he'll read this anytime soon XD) and also Music4ever1617, for the tumblr follow, and the FF chats we've had. Really, if you wanna like talk to me and be friends, I'm really open. Well it'd be more like pen pals than actual friends, but I like making new friends, so feel free to PM or review reply, whatever, also follow my tumblr/twitter if you guys want too, that's always cool =D

Anyways, this chapter didn't really go as I planned, because it was slightly impromptu and went longer than I originally planned but the bigger the better right? So Enjoy =D

Truth Accepted

There are moments in life that forever hang above your head. A proud moment, an embarrassing moment, what could have been moment. And as much as you want to let it leave your mind, it's never truly gone. Rather, it's just hidden, for one day you'd tap into that thought and contemplate what it is that lead up to that moment, and you find yourself reliving it. Through smiles and tears, you can't stop the inevitable, almost fateful. Like a poltergeist that follows you, stalking you like a figment of your imagination that will only leave until you succumb to acceptance, the truth. And your only option is to run away further where it can still catch you, or tackle it head on.

James was feeling it. And it was fever like. He definitely felt sick to his stomach, feeling pangs and aches course through him in agony. He shot out of bed, in a mix of heat induced sweats mixed with nightmarish fever. All of the day yesterday, and the night now, he's had this thought. What if it happened? What if James had leaned in closer, knocking lips upon lips, sealing his fate in the hands of his best friend. And let his colours run wild with expressive freedom. Every teenager feels it, the What If syndrome. The questionable detail that perks up the idea of changing roads. But no use in keeping your head in the clouds when you can feel the barren earth that has your feet planted in.

James knew the truth. It wasn't really going to happen. If it didn't happen, then he knew it was not meant to be. Just knowing that Logan would be by his side, changing his colours is good enough for him. But the pang of desire is powerful. James couldn't control himself when he knew the boy he loved so much was simply a few feet away, in the same room as him, sleeping blissfully unknown to the world. And he could have his way with him if he wanted.

Sneaking out from beneath his sheets, the rustle the only sounds filling the silence of the night, he stalked carefully over to Logan's bed. He couldn't sit on it, in case he stirred around in his sleep. Logan was a light sleeper, and the simplest bump would knock him into the light of waking. He could only imagine the sweet dreams that filled his head with pleasantness He couldn't destroy his slumber induced utopia because he grew selfish. Instead, he knelt before the sleeping form of the smaller child and stared at his face.

It was sorta younger like. His eyes were completely shut, his mouth opened agape to let passages of air in, creating little snores, his hair laid lifeless against his pillow, slowly forming his bed hair. He looked every bit adorable in James' reference, almost beautiful, perfect. He was like a rainbow, expressive and equally accepting, but to spoil that with the bias of a single colour, James couldn't do that to Logan, and hurt the light that shone within the boy. All he could do was admire from afar, and bathe in the light rays instead, not wanting to dirty and stain it with his darkness.

James continued to be interested with Logan. With each dead silent second passing, a memory of Logan would just flash before his eyes in the pitch black. His smiles when he achieves something, his frowns when he saw James sad at times, his funny faces when he laughs, his scowls when he distastes something/ Fantasy pictures came running too. Logan on the desk, Logan in the clouds, Logan pressed against a wall, Logan alone in a shower. Each image was hardening, according to James, or should I say James junior, because James' member began to stir in his pajama bottoms.

It grew up sizes until it pressed against the soft material of James' bottoms. His faced felt flushed when he realized that he got hard by looking and thinking about Logan. It was straining to support something like his, so he fell back onto his butt, letting his legs stretch out and then part. His member sprang up from the fly of his pants, after James unbuttoned it and pulled his underwear over it. It stuck out sorely into the cool midnight air, as it grew with every passing second in his eyes that remained fixed on Logan.

Logan remained unmoved from his still state, unbeknownst to James' figure right by his bedside. James' bangs fell in front of his face when he tilted his head to look at his member. It throbbed with need as it intimidated James to touch it. And so he did. He placed his fingers on one side of the rod, and wrapped it around, just barely getting his hand span to touch each other. The head of his dick also stuck out sorely from the hole he formed from his curled fingers. Impressively long in his hands, James started his stroking motion on his member. Each pump made a small cry emit from James, each sound being muffled as he refused to be caught by Logan in his state.

"Mm..Logan.." James tried to suppress his need to purr, the sheer nature of his rolling pleasure sending waves of fulfillment crashing on his shores. His breathing was much more ragged, clearly showing how awake he was. But to Logan, he continued to sleep the night away. He was probably really exhausted from the beach. Which of course James was grateful for. Thinking about the boy, he let his head move back to Logan's face, letting the real thing be much more stimulating than thoughts in his head. He continued to move his hand, rubbing his thumb in oncoming circular motions on the head of his member, the feeling of sensitivity hit acutely at his pleasure.

"Ah..mm..nrgh.." James made continuous noises that continued to fill the air, the volume elevating every so often, James not considering Logan's sensitive hearing. But he still didn't shuffle in his place. James cried, feeling a need to release, but as soon as it built in his stomach, it drained out and it felt like each stroke was ineffective. He didn't feel stimulating, his shuddering calming down. Why wasn't this working anymore?

James stood back up, and tried to get himself hard again. And the only way to regain that size again is to...think about Logan, stare at Logan, just be with Logan. There was a spot right next to Logan on his bed, that James thinks he could settle in. So he does, sitting so gently on his mattress and stretching out across Logan, him running parallel to Logan's body, and their faces were up so close to each other. Logan's whistling breathing lightly tickled James' upper lip, and James took it as a stimulant to immediately grow hard. As it grew long, it stuck out to have almost poked Logan in his hip. Fortunate as it is, James reached back down to stroke again, now this time, each pump elevating his desire to feel euphoric.

Right in front of his line of vision, Logan's calm and innocent face showed clearly for James to see. He was too pure and clean, so light and bright that James felt a bit bad about this. So bad, so guilt ridden that there was a small tear tricking out of the corner of his eyes. His body shook again, not only from pleasure, but from the sobs that raked and trembled him too. As much as the insane degree of regret and bad feeling knocked him down, he still pressed forward. He knew this could only be the time he'd be able to do this with a straight face, so he continued. Each stroke was now adding to the elevation for his release.

"Ah..Log..an.." James kept stroking, kept crying, kept mewling until his need grew insane and he needed sweet, hot release of his inner juices. Needing a duel handed assistance, he used both hands, thrusting into it to feel that much needed delicious friction he oh so desired, and with a gasp and great force knocking him out, he came, and as bands and strips of white ribbons became collated in his hands, the volume of his release was too great that it dripped out of his hand and onto Logan's sheets. The strands of beautiful white gloss coated James' hands, and made wet marks on his blanket he was tightly wrapped up in.

Going back down off his high, his greatest euphoric pleasure, he fell back down to the ground. And when his eyes fell back onto Logan, he just saw that small, childish face of his best friend lying there so innocent. James didn't hold back anymore, he just relinquished to his emotions, and his clear tears cascaded down his face. He kept his eyes on Logan, staring at him and his heart thumping ever so wildly in his chest. The severity of need burning brightly in his core, he leaned in closely to Logan, nearly pressing his face so closely to Logan's, wanting their lips to touch. But as close as they were simple inches from contact, James retracted. He couldn't do that to Logan, otherwise it'd be as if he's taking advantage of him.

Logan deserved more than this, more than simple James. And that was something more than what James could give, what he could offer. Overthrowing his desire, he simply just pressed a tender kiss to his forehead, which did unchanging movement to Logan. And before he went back to his bed, after fastening his fly, he whispered tenderly, "Good Night, Logan. Sweet Dreams."

–

There is a calming bliss after a dawning sun makes it's rise. It's that urge to sleep in for the day, right after letting your eyes gently awaken, and letting the sights fill your eyes, and the awareness of your conscious state fill your mind. Probably one of the times where your mind can be clear and blank, one of the sole needs for the sane. Logan let that single moment fill him with that gentleness that came with it enshroud him, and let some lazy smile grace his face.

That was until Logan gained his sense of touch, and finally stirred around in his bed.

"Huh?..what's.." Looking down at his sheets, he saw them all wet and sticky, particularly at the crotch area. Unable to explain, Logan just thought of the reasonable option

"Argh, must have had a wet dream about James again...can't really remember having one... but it must have been good right?" Logan inwardly groaned which filled his head in with guilt and disappointment. He was much more disciplined than that, but these dreams have been coming and going for him. That does it then. He needs to tell James. He's gotta tell James what he's seen, what he's felt, what he needs to know and what he yearns to exclaim.

Looking at the bed next to him, Logan realized that it was absent of one James Diamond. He must've ran off if he heard Logan's scream of pleasure of his dreams. He probably frightened him off onto the couch. Climbing out of bed, with solid feet down on the ground, he got up and let the morning rush kick in. Exiting out of his room, he scoped for where the taller boy may be. And there he was, a poor little tall boy curled up in the corner of their orange couch, seemingly sound asleep. What a pure picture of innocence, Logan thought, as the guilt in him grew anchoring. Crouching at eye level to James, Logan could see the small helpless youth still stored within his large frame. Like if when you were a child, so hasty to grow up, then realizing that when you've grown up, you'd want to be a kid again. He saw something like that in James, and the way he slept so calmly. It was something that made Logan go into an awe for the boy, since he knew he couldn't do something like this, not this way.

"Hmm.. Logan?" James mumbled, making his awakening appearance. Logan stumbled back, making him look inconspicuous.

"Morning sleepyhead," Logan said in a friendly and harmless whisper. James was still too tired to comprehend the tone.

"Morning to you, too, bedhead," The first coherent sounds made by James were a chuckle, and a remark as he pointed to Logan's formed mohawk, which caused Logan to feel then laugh off beside James.

"So, why are you sleeping out here?" Logan asked as he sat by James' head. James lifted his head up for Logan to sit and then nestled it in Logan's comfortable lap.

"Couldn't sleep as well. Nightmares," James waved off, obviously avoiding the real reason.

"I hear that," Only Logan could wish it was a nightmare. This was probably something much worse than a nightmare.

"Don't you wanna go back to sleep? You did spend the night here. Wouldn't you wanna go back to your own bed?"

"Nah, I got a good enough rest. And I can't get to sleep, knowing that you're awake, Logie," James was fully awake, but was getting bored, so he grabbed one of Logan's hands, and played with his fingers, making various shapes with the flexible appendages. Logan went for the remote of the TV, went onto the kids channel where they were showing Spongebob, and went on to play and tussle with James' long locks in his unoccupied hand. Between them, there was a silence. But it wasn't anything awkward at the least, it was really comfortable. Just the stillness of the situation let some peace enter their little world, and they felt even more calmer watching the antics of a talking sponge.

"Hey, Logie, could I ask you something?" James said out of the top of his mind. He was still lost in a place of serenity but he wanted to talk to Logan.

"Sure,"

"It's about yesterday, down by the beach.." James approached it like it was an uneasy topic, yet he pressed on anyways.

"Go ahead,"

"Uhm..okay.." James wandered off, not knowing where exactly he was going with this. There was only one thing worth mentioning anyways, "What you said to me yesterday, when we were alone on the beach, did you really mean it?"

"Yeah, of course, James. I'll always be by your side, and you can't say anything otherwise. Basically, you can't get rid of me, even if you tried." Well, I guess I have to try harder.

"I appreciate it, Logan. I really do," James said, taking his hand that he had up to his lips and kissed every knuckle on it. Logan felt so hearty at the sight, and the feeling, and when he knew that the issue needed to come out, he spent no time in stalling.

"James, you know, you've always been my friend from the start, stuck by me through plenty, and I don't even know how to repay the favour. The least I can do is stick up for my best friend when he feels down." Logan said out of instinct because he did mean every word. His hands still played while they were tangled in James' chestnut strands, "If you keep turning to different colours, I know we'll always be together, because I'm a rainbow colour, every colour known in the light spectrum and I can always change when you need me, James. Just like I'll always change, if I ever need you."

"L-Logan.. I'm so touched," James smiled sincerely at Logan, who mirrored that with his own grin, and James released Logan's hand to pull it up and caress Logan's cheek.

"And.." Logan took a deep sigh, taking in a deep breath, and went on, "I gotta tell you something, something that I want to tell you." Logan felt the words constrict around his throat, ceasing his circulation and stopping his voice box from functioning altogether. But his brain knew where it was at, so it cleared out his passageways, letting the air vibrate against his chest, and the first words came out, "I..lo-"

"Morning, mi amigos," And the screech of an awaken Mexican boy killed the still tension in the air. He had a plastered smile on his face to match his cheery attitude. He was a serious morning person. Logan sighed, his message lost in the wind, never heard by the ears of the receiver, and he played it off, along with his hope drifting away, "Morning, Carlos."

"Hey, Carlitos." James said, paying attention to the boy, and rolled his name along with his tongue. He completely ignored Logan for that moment, because if Carlos was reconstituted into a ball of light, he'd steal the gaze of every eye across the world, as if he'd be a second Solaris.

"How come you're sleeping on Logan like that?" Carlos noticed. James felt his cheeks heat up and he sprung right off of Logan, the pressure elevated off his legs. But with the feeling lost, Logan felt slightly empty. The warmth from James' head, now created some seclusion, a void of sorts.

"Hey, Logie, my sweet, bestest friend. Will you make me some breakfast, pweeese?" Carlos said with a childish antic, and knowing you could never say no to him, Logan simply reclined and went over to make a meal for the boy. With one last look at James, he turned back to pulling out some foodstuffs and putting together some half decent meal for Carlos, but with the human garbage disposal, anything's just as satisfying, as long as it's edible.

Still, James felt somewhat jealous. He saw how Carlos and Logan were so chummy together, they were truly exerting best friend qualities. Carlos was obviously stealing Logan's attention, and James was mad at him. More than that though, he was mad at Logan. Why couldn't he just tell him his thought, and get it over with. Why couldn't he stop Carlos and just spend some time with him? Why can't he just pull Logan so close to him that they'd finally lock lips for the first time? Just..why?

–

The summer days rolled in waves of heat, as the entire Palm Woods came out to enjoy the bountiful pool area provided. Even Bitters was relaxing in his pool chair, sipping fruit juice out of a tropical coconut and not caring that kids around him are splashing water everywhere. It was quite relaxing actually, after this incredible sauna like weather. Speaking of sauna, that was where Mrs Knight is at, the local Palm Woods Springs were a great place to de-stress after raising two kids and taking care of three others, making five total. Katie was playing poker with some of the staff, earning their weekly salary in just the first few rounds. And the boys are jumping around in the pool. Well, all except Logan, who took a liking to his tanning abilities, finally wanting an even coating after yesterdays helping.

Logan knew the risks of skin cancer, but he didn't care as much. He did wear overprotective sunblock, and he was sure it was working, because it did yesterday too. So just letting his body build from heat, he felt sleepy and nearly dozed off in the warm heat.

James was in the middle of splash wars with Kendall and Carlos, and a few other kids, but every so often, he'd see Logan looking so relaxed, so splattered across his recliner and seemed so at peace. It made James seem happy and relaxed at looking and knowing how laid back Logan must be, at utopia. And then he'd snap back after getting splashed back at his face.

The day drew long, and the pool area started to fill with more and more kids. One being Camille as she came out in a lovely sundress and saw Logan asleep at his seat. Deciding he'd need a companion, she went over to him. She overshadowed Logan's eyes again, and Logan immediate awoke again also. Seeing Camille hover him, he simply smiled back at her as she sat on the recliner over.

"Hey, Logan. Catching another tan?"

"Yeah, I think it's working in well. So what happened with you and MTV?" Logan slung his legs over his seat and paid attention to her as she talked. And that also didn't go unnoticed by James, who finally took himself out of the game.

"Eh, well. They said they needed a much older person, like college age, but they promised me they'll hire me as soon as I get into college too. So I got that to look forward too," She said so perky and happily. She had a contagious smile that she and him both shared. They were having a really good time together. That smile, that all too familiar smile.

James was boiling mad now. No, he wasn't angry at Camille, or at Logan. He was more frustrated at himself. Why is he so emotional when it comes to Logan. He can't control himself when it involved Logan, involved his best friend, his companion since forever. Why can't he stop this rupture in his stomach, and the pressure building in his eyes. He felt really mad at himself. He was being a coward, a reluctant person, a risk evader. And maybe that's the problem he has. That's why he and Logan could not get where he wanted them to be. Because he was so scared of everything. Everything being what this would mean to James and Logan. Will they smile that same expression again, still hang around each other again, will Logan adapt to the rainbow colour when James' real tone is seen. That he could not risk.

And he was growing more upset by the second. So upset, he got out of the pool, and Logan saw him when he emerged, and so did Kendall. He got onto his land legs, and when his emotions ran wild, he ran. He went into the Palm Woods dripping wet and each drop that fell could have been an illusion of his tears that also hit the ground. Luckily, Bitters didn't notice otherwise he'd have a cow. But he was not in the mood for him, as he ran into the silver box and went upstairs to release his tears.

Logan stopped talking to Camille after seeing James run so teary eyed like that. He has never seen James so upset like that before. Before he started making his run to catch James, he got held back by a wet arm.

"I'll go talk to him. You keep Camille busy, and I'll tell you what the problem with him is after. I promise, I'll take care of him," Kendall said, drying off and running after his distraught friend. He never knew much about James' feelings, because he was always so confident and proud like Carlos, but he wants to be a part of James' emotions, and this would be a good opportunity. Besides, he still needs to thank him after all he's done.

James ran out of the confining container before reaching the door of 2J, his arm covering his eyes, and rubbing so furiously, refusing to let another shed tear loose before he got in. When he did, he opted for going into his room, but he wasn't strong enough. Instead, he jumped and went for a nosedive into the orange couch, and stuck his face into the orange cushions below him.

Kendall went inside the apartment thanks to the open door, that James forgot to slam shut. He was glad though, it meant that James was not as enclosed as he thought he'd be. Moving closer to his friend, he picked him up into a sitting position, and James just collapsed in his arms, his wet tears staining Kendall's bare shoulder.

"It's okay. It's okay, Jamie. It won't hurt you no more." Kendall tried sending calm, soothing words into James' ears, but each word made no impact on his feelings. He was still completely exhausted, and drained emotionally.

"C'mon, James. I know it. I saw what happened, and I'm so sorry. But I know he's good for you, and what you saw, it was nothing. It was just some irrational thinking James. I know he likes you." Kendall said in a whisper, pulling James up closer and tucking him under his hold.

"W-What do y-you know?" James said with a cold tone, but he was still warm with leftover tears that didn't fall.

"I know, James. I see the way you look at him, he looks at you. I know because it's the same way I look at Carlos all the time. You love him. Don't deny it," Kendall said so boldly, and the truth, and dawning realization made his blood boil mad.

"I-I..I know that! You don't think I do?, I..I'm so completely in love with my best friend, Logan Mitchell! Listen up world, is that what you want me to say? Well then fine, I've said it!" James jumped up from Kendall's arms and screamed at Kendall's face, which made him look frightening. Kendall knew never to upset the beast, but this was like making him furious.

"It's okay.." Kendall wrapped his arms around James again as he broke down in his hold. He'd never let the hurt get to him again, and he promised that, as a best friend. He couldn't turn to his real best friend for emotional problems, especially because it involved him but Kendall was a close substitute.

"You accept it? You love Logan?" Kendall pulled away from James to say that in his face. James, with tears still holding in his eyes, nodded with force and started to calm down from his surge of bursting emotions.

"Yeah. But I can't tell him. I want to, but I guess not now." James simply fell back into Kendall's arms again and accepted the hug as he began to hug back. Together, they stayed like that for some time later, and James finally settled. He finally made a break through. He was so in love, he grew deluded. Now was the time to let the fog clear, and have the sunshine burn through. But the matter of the fact is, that James didn't know how Logan felt, and putting their friendship at jeopardy, he couldn't risk something like that. Oh well, one day James thought. One Day.

"Mm, by the way, what is it that you meant by 'looking at Carlos the same way'?"

"Eh heh, well you see, uh.." Kendall stammered and scratched at the back of his head.

"I understand. And I guess it's my fault, ain't it?" James gave a loopy smile, and Kendall just returned it again.

"Yep. I just came up here to say thank you and uh, to be the guy that you can come to, at times like this, just to show my appreciation."

"No Problem, Kendall. I wish you the best," James said to Kendall, and they shared a hug. Not really the emotional type, but a guy hug, one of those sacred bromantic hugs that said more than any normal hug would.

If Only Logan and I could have the best.

Good? Bad? Eh? Still mad at their not lip locking moment? Say what's on yo' mind in a review, and I will chat to you, I promise =D

And just a great big thanks to all you guys, I'd never thought this story would get as big as it is right now, so just thanks from the bottom of my heart, and other vital organs, just love yous all =D

And lastly, just a note on the chapter. I didn't really plan on it, so it just came as it did. I didn't know if it was good, or bad, so leave me a nice review? And also, if you wanna see some Jagan fluff, or wanna stretch out the storyline some more, please feel free to leave a suggestion. If you don't, I'll probably end the story as quickly as it came, but then that'd mean that the Jagan would be coming too soon. So yeah, need some inspiration right now.

And yeah, just thanks and review =D