Finally the last installment! Thank you guys so much for reading :)
Chapter 41: Chapter 41
AN: 2 every1 hu kepz flaming diz GIT S LIF! I bet u proly odnt no hu gerod way is
No, I do not know who 'Gerod Way' is, actually.
ur proly al prepz and pozers!11111 neway sum1 hakked in2 mi akkount in November and dey put up my last chaptah but now der is a new 1. im surry 4 nut updating g 4 a while but ive been rilly bizzy. im trying 2 finish da story b4 da new movie kumz out. Im gong on vacation 4 a mons I wont be bak until abott 2 weeks. OMFG drako iz so hot in all da pix 4 da new movie!111 I wunted dem 2 put a kameo by geord way lol he hsud play drako. if u flame ill slit muh risztz!11
I want you to die a bloody death.
raven u rok gurl hav fun in ingland.
When I wook up
Damn it!
I wuz in a strange room. I loked around I wuz wearing da same outfit I had when is performed wif XBlakXTearX!11 I looked arund confusedly. It wuz da Norse's office but it looked difrent! On da wall wuz a pik of Marlyin Munzon!1111 (just imagin dat he is an 80s goffik band 2 ok koz he is more old den panic? at da dizcko or mcr)
My God, your stupidity truly has no limits.
der wuz also a goffik blak Beatles calander with a picture of the beetlez werring iyeliner and blak cloves.
Dude! No!
On it said '1980.'
"OMFG! Im back in Tim again!111"
Some guy named Tim is going to have vast psychological problems after all this.
I screamed loudly. Suddenly Satan(dis is actually voldimort 4 photo refrenss!).
Do what?
Voldimort wuz wearing a blak leather Jackson,
Jesus Christ is it *really* that hard to spell 'jacket'?
blak tight jeans and fishnet pantz. He looked so sexah I almost had an orgy!11
Orgy= Sexual encounter with multiple people.
Orgasm= Sexual climax.
Quit mixing them up!
"OMFG Enoby r u ok." He asked gothikally.
"Yah Im okay 4 ur in4mation." I snapped sexily.
Being a bitch really isn't that sexy. Unless you're into that kind of dominatrix thing.
"OMG am I dedd?" koz I remembered I had jumped in front off da bullet from Jame's gun. I also rememberd cing Drako doing it wif Snap!111
I guessed dat when I had slit mi wrists I had went bak in tim instead of dieing. I knoew I could go forward in time if I found a time-toner or da tim machine.
"No ur not dead." Satan reassured
Oh sure, she can spell 'reassured' correctly (and use it right, too!) but 'you're' is too difficult?
suicidally as he smokd a cigarette sexily
These adjectives don't even make sense.
and smoke came all over his face. "Ur a vampire so u kant die frum a bullet. Cum on now lets go c how Hairy's dad is doing."
Dude, he isn't Harry's dad yet! Not to mention, Tom went to school long before the Marauder Era. Read a fucking book, or at least a fanfiction!
I noo dat da real reason I didn't die from da ballet was koz I was from da future. "WTF! James almust shot Luciious!" I said indigoally. I knew that James had really ben possezzed, but I didn't want him2 know I knew.
"Yah I know but he had a headache he wz under a lot of stress."
Apparently having a headache is a perfectly valid excuse for everything in this world.
Satan reasoned evilly.
"I guess that's ok." I said because James hadn't really shot Lucian. Also I noo that Lucian wood now have 2 arms instead of 1. I walked seduktivly outside with Satan. Suddeni I saw a totally sexi goffik bi guy!11
Well you're just a little slutty now, aren't you?
He had bleched blond hair wiv blak streaks up 2 his ears and he wuz wearing goffik blak iliner, a blak Green Day shirt (it showed billy joel wiv bolnd hair since it was da eighties),
THIS WAS NOT IN THE 80'S YOU MORON!
blak congress shoes and black baggy pants. He walked in all sexly like Gerrd way in the vido for I Don't 3 u lyk I did yesterday
He 4's you now!
and you cud see a blak tear on his face lyk da wmn in dat video. "Hey." He sed all qwietly and goffically.
"Who da fuck is that?" I asked angrly cos I did nut kno him.
"Dis is…Hedwig!11"
O.o Hedwig is a fucking owl…
Sed Volximort. "He used to be in XBlackXTearX 2 but he had 2 dropp out koz he broke his arm.
"Hey Hedwig." I said seductively evn tho I wuz nut tring to b.
"Lol hi Enoby." He answered but then he ran away bcos he had hair of magical creature. He was humming Welcum 2 da Blak Prade under his breth( I no dat is not 80s but pretend it is ok!)
Oh Goddess, please. End her life now. I don't care about the 'It will happen to you threefold' thing, I will gladly take it if you just KILL HER!
"Bye." I sed all sexily.
"Dat was Hedwig. He used 2 b my boifreind but we broke up." Satan said sadly, luking at his blak nails.
Voldemort is gay now? That explains a lot.
And now I can just imagine a canon Dumbledore/Voldemort pairing. It could totally work.
"OMFG I can get u bak 2gether!" I said fingering something
That's a bit personal, kiddo.
I didn't know wuz in my pocket- a blak Kute is What we Aim 4 cideo ipod that I could take videos wif (duz ne1 elze no about dem? dey kik azz!).
I've never heard of 'Kut of What we Aim 4' but 'Cute is What We Aim For' (must be some poser knockoff band, pfff) is ok.
"Ok u can 4get about ur class for now, Hedwig. Im going 2 show u something grate!1" I led them to da Great Hall. "Cum on u guys."
Lucian, James, Serious and Snake were all in da Grate Hall. Lucian woudnt talk wiv James because he had tried 2 shoot him.
"Go fuk urself you fukking douche!" he shouted at him. "Drako is never gong 2 b frends with vampire now!1"
How do they know about their kids?
"Yah go fuck urself Samaro!" Snape agreed but I noo he wuz lying koz it had been his folt James had almost shot Lucian.
No, it was James' anger issues.
"B quiet u guys." I said sexily. Mi plan waz working oot great. Now I kood make Voldement good wivout doing it with him! Now Vampire's dad wood never die and "OK Satan and Hedwig, u guys can start making out." I said and I started 2 film dem wiv da ipod.
Oh, lord. No.
"Kool." said Serious as Voldemort and Hedwig started 2 make out sexily. We watched as tdey started 2 take each odderz cloves off sexily. Samaro, Serious, Snake and Lucian all watched koz dey wer prolly bi. I noo Snape was bi.
"Oh my fukking god! Voldimort! Voldimort!"
HE ISN'T VOLDEMORT YET!
screamed Hedwig as his glock
Packing heat there, huh? Talk about 'the Gun Show'…
touched Voldemort's.
But suddenly everything stopped as da door opend and in kame…Dumblydore and Mr. Norris!111111111111
Chapter 42: Chapter 42
AN: omg da new book iz kumming out rlly soon I kant wait!1111. I fink dat snap will be really the same person as Volximort koz dey are both haff-blood so dat will explain y he kild dumblydore and he hated hairy!1111
My God, you're stupid…
nd den hairy wil have 2 kommit suicide so voldimort will die koz he will rilly be a horcrox!111
O.O
omg I hope Draco nd harry get 2getha dat will be so shmexy, wont it? If dey don't den JKR is hamophobic!
A) Just because you don't happen to have a gay couple doesn't make you a homophobe.
B) She wrote Dumbledore as gay. STFU
111111 fangz 4 da help wiv facts, medusa u rok!111
I sat depressedly in Dumbledork's office wiv Hedwig, Satan, James, Serious, Snap and Lucian. Dumbledore was sitting in front of us cruelly. He looked more young den he did in da future.
No shit.
He had taken da ipod away and wuz now lizzening 2 a shitty Avril Levine song.
If it's so shitty, why'd you put it on your iPod?
"What da hell is this anyway?" he cackled meanly. I hoped he didn't find out dat I was frum another time.
"Whatever u do don't blame Ibony, u jerk." Satan said.
"Yah, siriusly she was trying to get Satan and Hedwig back together." Serious said deviantly.
"Be quiet you Satanists." Dumbledore cockled. "If ur lucky I'll probably send u all to Akazaban! That will teach u to copulate
She almost spelled it right, and she used it correctly! THE APOCALYPSE IS NIGH!
in da Great Hall." He changed the song on da ipod 2 a n'Sync song. Suddenly I noticed sumfing strong about da Ipod. It was slowly chonging! Dumblydore didn't notece.
"You fucking poser." I muttoned.
Mmm… Mutton!
"I bet you've never herd of GC." James said. Know I knew waht da iPod was chonging in2- Morti McFly's tim machine!11
She does know that the Time Machine in that movie was a car… Right?
"Shut up Jomes!" Drako's dad shouted.
"Yeah shut up!" Snake said preppily.
"No u shut up Dumblydore!1111" said Tom.
"I've had enough of u Satanists in my school!" shouted Dumbledore spuriously.
Suddenly I grabed da iPod from him. "Evry1! Jump in b4 itz 2 l8! I jumped in2 it. But only 1 odder person jumpd in. It was…..Satan.
"You dunderheads!1111111111" screamed Dumbledore wisely as we went.
I looked around. I wuz in da Slitherin conmen room wiv Satan. I was wearing a blak plaid miniskirt with hot pink fishnetz, a sexy blak MCR corset and blak stiletto boots with pink pentagroms on dem. My earrings were blake Satanist sins and my raven hair was all around me to my mid-black.
More useless clothing descriptions.
"Hey kool where iz dis?" he asked in an emo voice.
"Dis is da future. Dumbeldore's iPod dat he tried to take away from me wuz really also a tim machine." I told him.
"Kool what's an ipatch?" he whimpered.
"It's somefing u use 2 lizzen 2 music." I yakked.
"OMFG kool wait whatz a 4-letter-wurd 4 dirt?" he esked in his sexah voice.
Dirt, perhaps?
"Um I guezz sand?" I laid confuesdly.
"Yah I wuz just triinyg to make sure u were stil da same perzon." He triumphently giggled.
…What the hell? Was that her weird way of replicating the bits in the books where they try to check each other's identities?
Suddenly some of my friends walked in.
"OMG you're fucking alive!" said Ginny wearing a blak leather jocket,
At least it wasn't a Jackson.
blak baggy pants and a goffik black Frum First to Last shirt. I explained 2 her why I was alive.
"Konichiwa, bitch."
JUST SPEAK ENGLISH FOR GOD'S SAKE!
said Willow. She was wearing a blak corset showing off her boobs with lace all around it and red stipes on it. With it she waz wearing a blak leather miniskirt, big blak boots, white foundation, blak eyeliner, red eyeshadow, and blak lipstick.
"Hey, motherfucker." Said Diabolo with his red hair. He waz wearing a black P?ATD t-shit and blak baggy pants.
"Hey whose that, Ibony?" B'loody Mary questioned as she walked in wearing a black t-shit with a red pentarom on it with lace at the bottom, red letther pants with blak lace, and black stolettoes.
Why does it matter what they all are wearing?
"Oh its Satan." I told her and she nodded knowing da truth.
Suddenly Satan started to cry.
"Are you okay Satan?" we asked concernedly.
"OMFG ur from da future!1! What if u don't like m anymore koz were from difrent times?" he asked.
What if she doesn't like you because you're a whiny little bitch?
"No I still like you." I said sexily to him.
"Ok." He said ressuredly. I let him lizzen 2 Teenagers by MCR on my ipod while I was about to go outside to find out some fingz. I gave Diabolo a signal to keep Satan occupied. Satan fell asleep. I took the iPod. I was about to walk outside. Profesor Sinister ran in!1111 She was wearing a gothic blak minidress with depressing blak stripes, white and blak stripped tights, and red converse shoes. She was wearing LOTS of blak iliner.
"Oh my fucking god, where's Draco!111 How did Snap get back here! I tohot he wuz in Azerbaijan." I asked sadly.
"Ebony I was so worried abott u but I know you can't fucking die because you're a vrompire. Snape came back because that girl Britney freed him.
I have a feeling that there is someone in Tera's life named 'Britney' that really fucked her up somehow.
I never liked her she was a bad student." Trevolry said reassuredly.
"That bitch!11 Did she also free Hargrid and Loopin?" I shouted angrily. I hated Britney because she was a fucking prep.
"Yes they are on the loose at this school. Dumblydore is back Cornelia is on his way to help evry1. Tell evry1 u see to lock themselves in their conman room!"
Is that a room filled with lawyers?
Trevolry said worriedly.
"OK. But where's Dracko? How cum he was doing it with Snap?"
"I dunno why but I know he almost tried 2 commit suicide after he saw u almost kill urself." she said.
How Romeo and Juliet. Now if only they would actually DIE in the end…
"OMG dat's terrible!" I gasped. Satan was still asleep, so he couldn't tell what was going on. Then I said "Lizzen evry1, I have sumthing imptent to do. in hr evry1 stay!" wiv dat I ran out.
"Good luck Tara!11" everyone cried.
I ran sexily down the staris in2 da Grate Hall while da portraits around looked at me scaredly. There was hardly ne1 else in the stairs nd tere was an atmosphere of horrer. On da way I saw Britney laughing on da stairs. She was wearing a a slutty pink shirt wiv flowers on it, a blu jean skirt Abercromie and pink stiletoos. She looked jest like a pentagram of those fucking preps Hilery Duff and Lindsey Lohan.
"You fucking bitch!111" I shouted angrily.
"No, your totally a bitch. Now Voldemort will like totally kill u!" she laughed.
"Crucious!1" I shouted selectively pontificating
Doesn't 'pontificating' have something to do with the Pope?
my blak wand and she started screaming koz she was being tortured and I laughed sodistically.
You're kind of an evil bitch, huh?
"No!1 Help me!1 Please!1" Britney screamed terrifiedly.
I put up my middle finger at her. In her hand I saw da video camera Snape and Lumpin had used to take da video of me. I put the tape of Voldimort doing it with Hedwigg onto it. Then I continued to rown down the stairs with the camera. When I had reached da Grate Hall I saw Vampire Potter. "OMG Vampira!111" I yielded.
We hugged each udder happily. He locked at me wif his gothic red eyes and spiky blak hair. Around them were blak eyeliner and iShadow.
Is there an app for that now?
His He wus wearing a blak leather Jackson,
Back to the Jacksons again -.-
ledder pants, a Panik at da Disko
For claiming to be a fan, you can't spell their name for shit.
concert shirt and his blak congress shoes. He looked mor like Joel from Good Charlote than ever.
How?
(did u hear der song da river it rox!1)"I wus so worried you died!" moaned Vampire.
"I know but Im a vampire lol. When I woke up I wuz back in 1980, (fuck you) so neway I bought Voldimort from when he was yung with me."
"Where's Draco?" I asked spuriously.
"Draco? You mean that fukking poser who betroyed you?" Vampir snarkled with anger in his sexy voice.
"I NO BUT WE HAV 2 FIND HIM." I SED SMARTY.
"I'll do it den." Harry said angstily.
"OK." I argreed. Suddenly….all da lights in da room went out. And den….da Dork Mark appeared.
Whenever she says 'Dork Mark' I imagine this retarded-looking skull with a worm wrapped around it.
"Oh my fucking satan!" Harry shouted.
"I fink Voldimort has arrivd." I sed anxiously. "Fuck, I have to find Draco!1 I guess we shood separate."
"Ok." Vampire sed diapperating. Sadly I ran into the Great Hall.
Chapter 43: Chapter 43
AN: I fink after dis I wil hav abott 2 or three mor chapterz. Fangz 2 all muh revyooers not das flamers if u flamed sis story den u suk!111111 if u flam den fukk u!111
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I walked sexily into the Great Hall. It was empty except for one person. Draco was there!
How convenient…
He sat der in deddly bloom
He's a flower now?
in his blak 666 t-shirt and his baggy blak pants. He had slit his wrists!111
For the thirtieth time.
I felt mad at him for having sexwith Snape but I felt sorry for him. He looked just like Gerard Way
If you say that one more time…!
with his red eyes and his pale white face.
"Draco are you okay?" I asked.
"I'm not okay." he screamed depressedly. I thought of the MCR song nd I got even more depressed koz that song always makes me cry.
That song is in no way depressing or sad.
I gave him a pot cigarette and he started to smoke it.
"Oh Draco why did you do it with that fucking bastard Snape?" I asked teardully.
"I-" Draco began to say but suddenly Lupin and Mr. Norris appearated in2 da room! They didn't see us.
"Im so glad we me and Snape were freed." said Loopin.
"Dam, this job would be great if it wasn't 4 da fukking students!" Mr. Norris argreed.
"Pop addelum!111"
She just made that shit up.
I yielded angrily pointing my wand at them.
"Noooooooo!1" Lupin shouted as chains came on him. Mr. Norris ran away.
"You fukking perv." I said laughing wiv depths of evil and depressedness in my voice. "Now u have 2 tell us where Voldimort is or I'm gong 2 torture u!"
Something tells me she's gonna do that anyway.
"I don't now where he is!1111" said Loopin. Suddenly Satan and Vampire ran in2 da room. Vampir didn't know who Satan was really.
"Oh my satan, we were so worried about u guys!1" Vampire said. I looked sexily at Draco with his goffik red eyes with contacts, blak t-shirt that said 666 on it and pale skin like Gerord Way,
OH MY FUCKING GOD! AGAIN? YOU HAVE TO COMPARE DRACO AND GERARD AGAIN?
Vampir with his sexy blak hair and red eyes just like Frank Iero and Satan who looked jist like Brandan Urie
Why does that name sound familiar?
then.
I selectively took the caramel from my pocket.
This is no time for sweets!
And then….. I began frenching Draco sexily. Loopin gasped. Draco began to take all of his cloves off and I could see his white sex-pack. Then Vampire took his own clotes off too. We all began making out 2gther sexily. I took off my blak leather bra, my blak lace thong and the rest of my clothes. Every1 took their glocks out except 4 me im a girl lol. "Oh mi satan! Draco!" I screamed as he put his hardness in my thingy Den he did da same fing to Harry. I began making out wiv Satan and he joined in. "OMS!111" cried Vampire. "Oh Vampire! Vampire!" I screamed screamed. "Oh Satan!" yelled Harry in pleasore.
I have no idea what to make of that. On one hand, she finally graduated to describing the sex scenes (well, MORE)…
On the other hand, I wish she didn't.
Loopin watched in shock. Wee took turns doing torture curses on him koz we were all sadists.
Told you.
Suddenly…..
….a big blak car that said PREPZ on the license plate flew strait through da windows. And Snap wuz in it!11
Chapter 44: Chapter 44 (I MADE IT THROUGH! :D)
AN: well I hav noffing 2 say but evrt1 stup glamming ok!111 if any gofik ppl r reading dis den u rok!11 omg I stil kant wait 4 da movie!1 tom fleton is so hot lol i hop harry wil bekum gofik koz mi frend told me he iz rlly emo dis book!1111(Emo is emotional, not just a stupid way of dressing.) in omfg im leeving dubya pretty soon kant wait! Diz wil prolly be da last chaptah until I kum bak.
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"Dat's mi car!" shooted Draco angrily. But suddenly it was revealied who was in da car. It wuz….Snape!
"I shall free you Loopin but first you must help me kill these idiotic donderheads."
She really is the queen of redundant adjectives, huh?
he said cruelly from the car as it flew circumamcizing
Who was is circumcising exactly? Ouch.
above us. "Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way must be killed. Den the Dork Lord shall never die!"
"You fucking prep!" yelled Draco. Then he loked at me sadly. "I forgot to tell u, Ebony. Snape made me do it with him. I didn't really have sexx him but he's a ropeist!"
Is that someone who forces ropes into performing sexual acts? The scandal!
We all put our clothes on quickly except Satan. We were so scarred!1
So am I, but that holds no relevance here, babe.
But Satan didn't change. Instead he changed into a man with gren eyes, (red) no nose, a gray robe and white skin. He had changed into… Voldemont!111
Big surprise there -.-
"I knew who thou were all along." he cackled evilly and sarcastically at me. "Now I shall kill thee all!" Thunder came in da room.
"No plz don't kill us!" pleaded Vampire. Suddenly Willow, B'loody Mary, Diabolo, Ginny, Drocula, Fred and Gorge
Damn! She got every ONE of my favorite characters into this shit!
Hargrid, McGonagall, Dumblydore, Serious and Lucian all ran in.
"What is da meaning of dis?" Dumblydore asked all angrily and Voldimort lookd away (bcos dumblydore is da only whizard he is scared of.)
Do I see CANON?
He did a spell and suddenly his broomstick came to him sexily.
She just lost what little respect she gained from me.
Volxemort flew above the roof evilly on his broomstik.
"Oh my goth!" Slugborn gosped. (geddit kos im goffik)
Witty.
"The Dark Lord shall kill all of you. Then you must submit to him!" Snape ejaculated menacingly.
I died laughing. I am typing this from the grave.
How do you ejaculate menacingly…? O.o
"You fucking preppy fags!" Serious shouted angrily.
"I know a four-letter word 4 dirt, CRUCIATUS!"
That didn't even make a semblance of sense.
screamed Harry but da sparks from his wand only hit Draco's car. It fell down Snap quickly crowled out of it and picked up the cideo camera.
"Oh my fucking god!1" I cried becoze the video of me in da bathrum, the video of me dong it wif Drako and the video of Satan doing it with
"If you kill me then deze cideos will be shown to everyone in the skull. Then u can be just like that goffik girl Paris Hillton."
Paris Hilton is goth? Yeah. Totally. So is Britney Spears.
Gun. Mouth. Now
He laughed meanly.
Hmmm… Die, or be slightly embarrassed?
If I'm ever in that position… Be prepared to see the sex tape.
"No!" I scremed. "FYI I hav da picter of u doing it with Loopin!11"
"Whats she talking abott?" Lupin slurped
Slurpd what?
as he sat in chains.
"I saw 2 she's gunna show evry1 da picter!111" Harry shouted angrily.
"Shut up!111'" Lumpkin roared.
"Foolish ignoramuses!" yielded Voldemort from his broomstick. "Thou shall all dye soon."
Oooh, what are we going to dye? Shirts, eggs, our hair? Don't leav me in this suspense!
"Think again you fucking muggle poser!1"
How is… What, but Voldemort's not… Never mind.
Harry yelled and then he and Diablo and Navel both
Both is two. Not three.
took out blak guns! But Voldimort took out his own one.
What happened to wands, anyway?
"U guyz are in a Latin stand-of!111"
Latin? Huh?
I shouted despariedrly.
"Acco Nevel's wand!11" cried Voldrimort nd suddenly Nevil's wind was in his hands. "Now I shall kill thee all and Evony u will die!11111
Please, do us all a fucking favor!
He maid lighting come all over da place.
Voldemort has hired help now?
"Save us Ebony!" Dumbledark cried.
Because the most powerful wizard in the world needs the help of a socially, emotionally, and sexually retarded little girl.
I cried sexily I just wanted 2 go 2 the commen room and slit my wrists with mi friends
Thaaat's healthy!
while we watched Shark Attak 3 and Saw 2 and do it with Draco but I knew I had 2 do somefing more impotent.
"ABRA KEDABRA!11111" I shooted.
2 b continaled...
And so, we end the worst fic in the world with a simple word that is horribly botched. Oh, the irony.
AN: 2 fnd ut wat hapns nxts red My Immoral 2!111111 Cya
Oh shit, there's gonna be more? D:
Whooo! I can't believe that I finished it! I think I may have lost 100 I.Q points in the process, however. Ay-ay-ay.
Thank you guys again for reading this, hop you enjoyed it ^_^
By the way, I hope you guys didn't think I was being cruel or harsh. Any of my mean snarks are aimed at the story and the author's persona. I thank Tara for coming up with this, and believe quite honestly that it is a Troll-fic. I would NEVER be this mean to someone if I thought that they were genuinely trying their best.