Unofferable
CHAPTER 11: MIDGARD
Playlist: "Symphony No. 9 in D Minor" — Ludwig van Beethoven, "Speak Easy" — Mansionair, "There's No Place Like Home" — Michael Giannchino
"To Midgard, Mother? Why?"
Frigga looked up from her breakfast to meet the gaze of her younger son. "I think it is a wise move after the market incident."
Loki sat with his mother in her quarters as they breakfasted together. Odin and Thor had left that morning with a section of the Asgardian army to settle a disruption on the outskirts of the realm. The villages had seen a spike in incidents relating to raiders and groups of outlaws, so the Allfather thought it best to settle it himself with his eldest son in tow. Loki was asked to stay behind at Frigga's request, so he watched as his father and brother marched away atop horses with the forces of Asgard following behind. She offered to explain why over breakfast.
"What exactly does what happened in the market have to do with us going to Midgard?" he asked.
"There has been quite an unrest among my handmaidens since the attack on Ellie," she explained, hands cupping her mug of tea. "She seems to have gotten back to her usual self for the most part, but I wish to take her away from Asgard, if but for a day. I think a change of scenery would help."
"So, we are taking her home?"
"Not home-home, but to another part of Midgard."
He pouted. "Would it not be beneficial to return to a place with which she is more familiar? Like Ireland?"
"I am against bringing her back to Ireland and I do not think she would be willing to return either."
Considering his mother's words carefully before responding, he then frowned and asked. "Does this have to do with the state in which she arrived to us? She is afraid to go back?"
"It is to do with it, but again it is not my place to tell you what happened."
The subject of Ellie's time on Midgard before her arrival to Asgard had not been brought up by him in years. In fact, the last time he mentioned it to her was when he asked if she had any siblings that she could remember. After that, he didn't attempt to bring it up again. He also never asked Frigga about it considering there was no way she would break the child's trust and tell him all.
"So this is just a day trip to Midgard, then?" he asked. "In the company of Ellie, Sevda, and Fen?"
"Yes, and you, if you agree."
He didn't have to contemplate the offer for long. "When do we leave?"
"Well met, Your Majesty, Your Highness," Heimdall said with a nod before addressing their company. "M'ladies. I saw you coming."
The Gatekeeper was stood upon his perch as usual, watching over the Nine Realms in silence. Upon the approach of Frigga, Loki, and the three handmaidens down the Bifröst, he turned to greet them accordingly. They were far more dressed down than usual; Loki and Frigga had used magic to acquire Midgardian clothes — a black suit for him and a long tan winter coat and black pants for her — while the latter gave Fen and Sevda some casual outfits she collected from previous trips. Ellie was once again donning the no-longer oversized dark blue garment that she wore upon her arrival to Asgard — Loki had at that point been informed by the girl that such a garment was called a 'hoodie', whatever the Hel that meant.
"Heimdall," Frigga answered with a smile. "How fairs my husband and son? Anything to report?"
"Not at present, Allmother," he replied from beneath his golden helm. "It would seem that all is going as planned with regards to their travels."
"Excellent, I'm glad to hear it. And how are the mortals on Midgard today?"
"Much is quiet on Earth as well, but they have not had a pleasant year. A conflict within The Middle East has severely escalated and the United States are still reeling after a terrorist attack in one of its most populated cities last month. Although it would seem that things have calmed somewhat right now."
"Are the Midgardians at war with each other again?" Loki spoke up, not at all impressed by the news.
"I would guess that the most recent attack within the United States will give rise to another war, yes. But that is not where you plan on visiting is it, Your Highness?"
"We make for the city of London," came the answer from Frigga. "But only for the day. We will wish to return in the evening."
"As you wish, My Queen." Heimdall stepped up to the podium key in which his sword, Hofund, belonged. "I am aware that this is not the first journey for Sevda or Fen, but it is young Ellie's."
"It is, Protecter," said girl replied, planting herself close between her fellow handmaidens. She eyed his observatory apprehensively. "Does it…hurt?"
"You will not feel any pain," he reassured her in his usual baritone voice. "But nausea is a common side effect after one's first journey."
Ellie visibly cringed at the thought. "Lovely…"
"It might be in your best interest to hold on to someone. Perhaps the Prince will assist you?"
For someone with such a dull tone, Loki thought to himself. He does love a jest every now and then, doesn't he?
Loki smirked at the Gatekeeper's suggestion, knowing it was said in a playful attempt to knock his pride. But he didn't falter, choosing to reach out and grip her hand in his own. "Gladly."
"A wise proposal," Frigga agreed as they approached the opening that revealed the galaxy before them. "You will be fine, Ellie."
"I haven't travelled in it for nine years," the girl replied with a wobbly voice. "I don't even remember when I got here…"
As Heimdall inserted Hofund halfway into its key, it slowly came to life as bolts of lighting shot from its place to the observatory around them. Ellie jumped and Loki felt her grip on his hand tighten greatly. He ushered her gently towards his mother and wedged her between the two of them.
As streaks of lightening lit up the whole space, he briefly stooped to her level and Fen and Sevda approached as well. "You will be alright, little one. I won't let you go."
She met his gaze and, although she still looked very afraid, nodded with some resolution. She offered up the little finger of her free hand and he linked it with his without hesitation. The observatory slowly began to spin around, at quite a slow pace at first, until it picked up incredible speed. Noticing Ellie's eyes darting around to try focus on something, he advised her to focus on the floor until he told her otherwise. The large beak-like structure atop the observatory moved from its original position pointing upwards until it was now focused towards Midgard. Inside, the noise barely grew at all as the vortex opened before them, the beak glowing bright with white, crackling lightening.
"Safe travels, my friends," Heimdall wished from his spot on the steps. "Call for me when you wish to return."
"Hold on, Ellie," Loki said, gently pulling her closer to him.
With that, Hofund was placed the rest of the way inside the podium and the five travellers were sucked into the rainbow bridge's gleaming tunnel. On the outskirts of Asgard, five figures clearly shot through the light beam towards their destination. Within the beam, they remained still as they were thrust along at breakneck speeds. Loki stayed focused ahead but for brief glances he threw at the Midgardian to make sure she wasn't panicking. Frankly, she looked too bewildered to contemplate anything else bar amazement. Suddenly, the light before them weakened and Earth appeared in their line of sight. The planet was approaching rapidly — or rather they were the ones approaching — growing bigger and bigger by the millisecond. The journey lasted for less than thirty seconds, but the grip on Loki's hand never wavered.
They landed with a bang.
Thankfully, it was in an alleyway as opposed to a busy street. Loki was immediately hit with a strong smell of baked goods as he looked around. He knew he couldn't really complain — it was only an alleyway after all — but it still appeared quite dingy. Surrounded by tall buildings on each side and hidden from passersby, the five visitors took a moment to collect themselves as the dust from the bridge's impact settled.
"That was fuckin' amazing!"
The laugh that left Loki's mouth was matched by Fen, who chuckled delightedly when the curse word erupted from the exhilarated mortal. Ellie was bouncing on the spot, clutching her hands together and staring up at the sky in amazement.
"How the hell did that even work?" she rambled on, speaking rapidly. "That was so cool! We literally got here in seconds!"
"And where did you learn language like that, little one?" Frigga queried, approaching her with a very motherly expression. Her gaze shifted to Loki, who immediately feigned innocence and mild insult at the thought.
Ellie immediately halted in her tracks and blurted out. "Thor! He says it all the time."
"No surprises there," Sevda shrugged.
Beside her, Fen nodded once her laughter died down. "Not at all."
"Have you forgotten how vulgar Thor can be, Mother?"
She rolled her eyes before leading them down a smaller laneway. "I will have words with him when we return."
"Can I please be present when you do? I do enjoy the rare occasions when he gets reprimanded!"
"Loki, hush."
"Please don't tell him it was me who said it," Ellie begged, following closely by the Queen's side. "I really don't want him to be mad at me after tellin' on him."
While Frigga quickly reassured her, Loki was grinning happily. "I would actually encourage you to 'tell on him' more often."
"Loki—"
"Oh, wow!" Ellie's interruption cut off any conversation that was to be had between mother and son. Loki took one look at the girl before following her gaze to the bustling street that appeared as they exited the alleyway.
"Welcome to London, little one," Frigga announced. "More specifically, Oxford Street."
Although it was not yet midday in the city, the streets were jam packed with people going about their day. Horns blared and engines revved belonging to the taxis and buses that crawled up the street in heavy traffic. In typical London fashion, the Autumn air had a cold bite to it, but the sun managed to break through what few clouds drifted through the sky. The buildings were quite dull in comparison to the golden structures on Asgard, but that didn't seem to deter Ellie, who looked around with an open mouth.
"Holy shi— eh, holy moley," she murmured, fixed to the spot. "This place is so cool. And so busy!"
"It is one of the busiest shopping streets in the world," Frigga explained. "They have massive footfall all year round."
"I don't recognise any of the shops."
"Well, there's no need to worry about that. We will be finding somewhere to eat instead."
"I have not had Midgardian food for the longest time," Fen contemplated as the Queen lead the way to their destination.
Ellie looked up at the admission. "I can't remember when I last had it, or what it even tastes like."
"Maybe this will jog your memory," Sevda suggested, wrapping a comforting arm around the girl's shoulders. "As the Midgardians say, there's no time like the present."
Frigga seemed to know these streets well and guided the group to a residence that wasn't far from the location in which the Bifröst left them. Frigga explained that it was called a café, but Loki guessed that it was not an English owned property by the unfamiliar language above the entrance way. Despite arriving at lunch time, the café thankfully had space for all of them to dine together. The God of Mischief's gaze swept over the room and judged it accordingly. It was certainly no dining hall of Asgard, but there was something quant about the place. At least the servers were polite and showed respect to their superiors. The place was buzzing with various kinds of people — those in suits on their breaks from whatever work they did, couples out together, lone eaters taking time to themselves, and small families grabbing their lunch. The chatter was continuous but oddly relaxing. It reminded him of the chatter at feasts, but without the random smashing of glasses and cheers for more ale.
On the few occasions he had visited Midgard, he had very rarely eaten there. The clarity of the lunch menu worked in his favour, so he settled on their poached eggs. Ellie ordered the same thing, obviously overwhelmed by all the options on the menu that she wasn't familiar with.
"Do you know if you like poached eggs?" he asked her as their server took their menus are went off to the kitchen with their respective orders. Beside them, Frigga had descending into a casual conversation with Sevda and Fen about places in London they should visit afterwards.
"Not a clue," she admitted with a shrug. "But I'm willin' to try them."
"Trips to Midgard are rare, so you might as well make the most of it while you're here, even if it can be severely dull."
She snorted at his comment. "You're very harsh towards Midgard. What exactly did it do to annoy you?"
"Nothing, I just find it considerably dull at times."
"'Cause not everyone knows you're a prince here? Loki, you can be so incredibly pompous sometimes."
He slowly settled his gaze on her, narrowing his eyes while she acted casual, as if she hadn't just insulted him for no reason. "Midgard is already a bad influence on you — you're disrespecting your superiors and we have been here but half an hour."
The young girl let out a happy laugh as two jugs of water were delivered to their table. "You're not my superior here!"
"I am your superior everywhere," he teased as a cup of tea was set before him. "I am your prince, I am your teacher, I am a god. Therefore, I am better than you."
"But you're also finicky, mischievous, and arrogant."
"And you are annoying."
"I know I am! And I quite enjoy annoyin' you to no end."
As he placed a drop of milk in his tea, he smirked at her. "Ah, I have taught you so well."
"I did learn from the best," she agreed confidently. "After seein' you harass Thor for years, I was bound to learn a thing or two."
"Or three."
"Or four!"
He stirred his tea languidly before picking it up and taking a sip. "Let us be frank — you are doomed to be as annoying as I."
"But I actually quite enjoy it," she replied. "You say that as though bein' a mischief-maker is a bad thing when it's your calling card."
He mulled over the taste of his tea — something called English Breakfast — before he opened his mouth again. "It is not a bad thing at all, though it is not exactly a favourable quality to have. If you haven't noticed, I am not a popular figure in Asgard."
"I don't understand that, by the way. Why are you not more popular?"
He gave her a incredulous look. "You are jesting, no? I'm not exactly well liked for the tricks I pull, or the fact that I usually try to get my own way."
"Like Thor doesn't do that too," she scoffed. "Bit of a double standard, isn't it? Sure, you've pulled a fair amount of tricks on people and you're a bit of an arse, but you're also amazin' at seiðr, super intelligent, and a master wordsmith."
Loki considered her statement for a moment. He glanced across at Frigga and the handmaidens, who were deep in conversation, before setting down his cup of tea and facing Ellie. It was not often he received compliments, although he was rarely looking for them from anyone bar his father, but she always seemed to give them when the discussion came up, much like his mother.
"Did you just say I was an arse?"
"Oh my God, Loki," she giggled, breaking into a fit of laughter. "You're ridiculous."
"I'm anything but ridiculous."
"Fine then; you're quite the joker."
"I know, I do try."
It wasn't too long before their food arrived, piping hot and looking quite delectable. While he tucked into his meal without much hesitation — it turned out to be as tasty as it looked — Ellie eyed her own poached eggs on a toasted muffin with apprehension. When she eventually took her first bite, the food disappeared quickly afterwards, leaving behind a mess that had Sevda and Fen laughing away. The little one seemed to regret nothing, stating that the eggs were 'amazin'', as was everything else in the realm.
Frigga paid the bill with the Midgardian currency brought from Odin's vault and the group left with satisfied appetites to do some more sightseeing. They wandered idly northwards, taking their time in a city that never seemed to stop. Ellie seemed transfixed by the place, stopping to stare in shop windows, or admire a fascinating car that drove by. After spotting a large furry creature Frigga called a 'dog', the child's eyes nearly bulged out of her head. At first they mistook it for a normal wolf, but the mention of its true name reminded Loki that humans had successfully bred wolves into placid house pets over the years. He steered clear of the animal, not eager to get too close to its heavy panting and lolling tongue, but Ellie was sheepishly petting its head after receiving permission from its owner.
"His name is Bobby," she explained as 'Bobby' eagerly licked at Ellie's free hand, tail wagging at ridiculous speeds. "Don't worry, he's very friendly."
"He's so lovely," Ellie mused and scratched his ears.
"He seems like the friendly sort," Sevda agreed, reaching down to pet his rump.
"By the Nine, the face on you, Loki!"
He glared at Ellie's jab and shrugged his shoulders. "What?"
"How can you look at him like he just eat your dinner? Look how smushy his face is!"
He cringed slightly as she emphasised her point by gently rubbing the creature's furry cheeks. His owner merely chuckled. "Not much of a dog person?"
"He prefers horses," Ellie said before he could get a word in edgeways. Fen practically barked while Loki hung his head. The dog owner, though clearly confused by what was so funny about liking horses, bid them a friendly goodbye and went about her walk, Bobby happily flopping alongside her.
Their stroll eventually led them to a park, which they wandered into at Ellie's request. The quiet rustle of trees and gentle breeze in the air was a welcome change from the constant noise of traffic that had been so prominent in their visit so far. They walked along its paths for a while before eventually coming across a map.
"'The Regents Park'," Ellie read aloud, squinting at the map's text. "Have you been here before, Allmother?"
"I cannot say that I have," she replied.
"Then we should go to these gardens." She pointed to a location on the map. "Queen Mary's Gardens."
"How apt," Sevda agreed before they set off towards their destination. It wasn't long before they arrived at said gardens. They passed through the Jubilee Gates, which were quite the spectacle with their grand design, and walked up the main path towards a distant fountain. After a little while, Loki found himself sitting on a bench beside Ellie while Frigga, Sevda, and Fen admired some of the flowers on the far side of the fountain. They sat in silence, bar the constant trickle of water, as he admired the bronze statue within the massive structure. Ellie sat happily, exhaling and watching her breath's condensation waft off into the cold air. When she pulled the hood over her head, the blue garment caught his critical gaze. He gave it a once over before looking at her content expression.
"Little one?"
"Yes, My Prince?"
He hesitated for the briefest moment, before a fresh wave of determination swept through him. "When you had been on Asgard for but a short time, I asked you one day if you had any siblings. You told me that you did not, but I didn't believe you."
Her face grew solemn — only slightly, but he read her well — and her eyes flitted in his direction. "You didn't?"
"Being the God of Lies, I usually spot them easily."
There was another silence. Ellie's knuckles turned white as she gripped the bench edge either side of her legs. "It's not a complete lie."
"No?"
"I have a brother. Well, had, I guess."
His brow furrowed at the revelation, but he still kept himself mostly reserved. "What was his name?"
"Shane," she stated with a small smile. "He was older too. Way older. Before the Queen brought me to Asgard, he was about thirteen, I think. I don't remember it very well. But I do know that he loved bein' the big brother. He didn't mind helpin' my mam and looking after me, even if I was being annoyin'. He used to let me wear his hoodie—" She pulled on one of the sleeves. "—when I was sad."
Unperturbed by the slight envy he felt, Loki pressed onwards. "And why not return home to him?"
Another beat of silence.
In the distance, a dog barked. Someone laughed. The three women remained over by the flowers.
"My dad."
"Your father?"
She nodded slowly, eyes fixed on the fountain's statue. "I don't have any good memories of him. I mean, I don't have a lot of memories anyway 'cause I was so young, but the ones of him aren't good."
He sighed. "Ellie, you do not have to tell me this if you do not wish to. It's alright."
"No, no." She shook her head. "I should be able to talk about it, I guess. Talkin' helps, right?"
"It can, with a good friend."
"Well then this should help me," she said and hunched forward slightly, hands tucked under her legs. She began to slowly rock back and forth. "I should probably tell you what happened to me right before I showed up, shouldn't I?"
In the dull light of the overcast afternoon, Loki noted how her blue eyes shone despite it. "I will listen to whatever you wish to discuss."
"Right, okay." She steadied herself with a long exhale and then began. "The memories of my dad are hazy. When I was small, he wasn't 'round much. He was usually workin' jobs most of the day, but it wouldn't be a surprise if he came home in a state. I didn't really understand it at the time, but he drank a lot. Like, a lot. Most of what I remember involves alcohol or him being drunk. I've read books that described similar events, so it wasn't too hard to put two and two together. He gave out to Shane and I a lot when he drank. We never seemed to do anythin' right, but he treated us better while sober. My mam had it far worse than us. He…" She bit her lip, unwilling to let the tears fall. Loki clutched his hands together as she continued. "He hit her a lot. That was basically constant. If he had a bad day at work, he came home and took it out on us, but obviously she put herself in harms way before Shane and I.
"Music and books were her thing. I think she used them to help us escape from all the shit that went on in that house. She was a great mam, and I can't fault her for anything. But she lived in Ireland alone — she was from England and left her family to marry my dad. No family, no friends thanks to Dad, so nowhere to go. I dunno if the guards ever took her seriously if she did report stuff, but no one ever came to help.
"One day, I think the day I came to Asgard, Dad had a particularly hard day at work. It's all a bit blurry, if I'm honest… He came in and immediately went for us 'cause the livin' room was 'a mess'. There were just some books on the floor, but he was hammered and angry. I'd never seen him so mad before." Her tone remained robotic as she described the days events, her face completely blank now. "He took a swing at my mam first and knocked her out cold. I think he tried to strangle her while I screamed and cried, but Shane tried to stop him. He screamed at him to leave her alone, but Dad wasn't gonna stop. He hit Shane, I don't know how many times, but he stopped movin' eventually and then Dad went after me. I don't remember him kicking me while I cried for him to stop, but I'm nearly sure that he did strike me… 'cause that's when I blacked out. Next thing I know, I'm wakin' up in Eir's medical wing with you sitting by my bed and puttin' on a light show. I don't remember anythin' else."
Loki was stunned.
For once, his silver tongue failed him.
He was also enraged. This man, her father, would have the audacity to hurt his own family? His children? His eyes were fixed on little Ellie as she rocked in her seat. He couldn't understand it. How could a parent ever do that to their child to such a severity. Her ribs were broken, her face was scarred forever, because of some monster.
He knew the explanation would be grave, but he was not prepared for this. He could feel his heart beating sporadically in his chest. If he ever found him — that bastard — he would tear the flesh from his bones.
"I'm sorry," he murmured, attempting to ease some of the pain although he was mostly lost for words. "I am sorry that you had to go through that. No one should experience it, especially at the hands of a parent and at such a young age."
She nodded in agreement. "Yeah, I know, but you've nothin' to apologise for, Loki. It's not like you could do anything."
"If I ever meet him…"
She sat back in the bench, forcing her body to relax after telling such an awful tale. "I don't remember anythin' good about him. My memories aren't clear, but I'm glad for it. I'm glad that I don't remember more."
"What of your mother and Shane?"
She winced and hung her head. "I… I don't know. I'm afraid of gettin' the answer, to be honest."
Not wanting to push her and cause more upset, Loki merely nodded. "If you ever want to find out, let me know. I will do whatever I can to help."
"Sure," she agreed and finally looked at him from under her blue hood. "Thank you for listening to me. You're a good friend. At least after all that, I got to meet some really nice people. You guys are all the family I have."
He briefly glanced at his mother, who he knew was keeping a close eye on the pair. "We will never let anything happen to you again, little one. I meant it when I said so before. I'll keep you safe."
He offered her his little finger. She linked it with hers and squeezed.
Their conversation slowly came to an end. While a weight seemed to have lifted from the girl's shoulders, Loki felt fresh rage boiling in his gut; he truly hated that sorry excuse for a human. But he tried his best to repress the negative thoughts from his mind. They stayed seated on the park bench for a while longer. He let Ellie decide when she wanted to move on again. He would gladly walk by her side to wherever she wished to go.