Koutai:…nothing to say…I miss writing Not So Perfect…

I HAVE NEVER, DO NOT AND WILL NEVER OWN JONAS OR THE SONGS!!!!

()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()NICK'S POV

Fire burned in my arm, heart and forehead, sapping my strength and making moving impossible. I wasn't asleep but I wasn't exactly awake either. I had neither the will nor the strength to move a finger or even open my eyes. Why wasn't my breath or the fire ending? Where was the light of Heaven or the glow of the fires of Hell? Why…why was there no end?

"Nick…if you can hear us, please hold on." Three voices whispered, one of Diane, one of Kevin and the other of Joe.

Of course. The three who actually tried to care were the ones that were causing me the most pain. Why wouldn't they just let me go?

NICK'S POV

At different intervals I was aware, unable to find even the smallest module of strength to move, and on the other times, I was blissfully floating in darkness, ignorant to all around me. But that never happened when I wanted it to. Never.

I remembered the hand on mine lift and the door close. And a minute of silence before my living nightmare and hate of my life walked in. I felt his breath on my ear and if I could have shivered, I would have.

"Listen to me. If you ever try to do something like this again, Diane and Amanda will end up six feet underground. I know you can hear me." He left, leaving me even colder inside than I was before.

Yes, the fire in my veins still burned hotly, but even that was unable to thaw the icy covering of my heart. I heard doctors walk in and check on their machines I was attached to and one felt my forehead and declared I had a fever while the other swore unprofessionally. They where quiet as they injected something, the antidote more than likely, into a tube attached to my arm and the fire briefly died in my veins, but it ignited in my head and shadows drew close and covered everything.

"Nick…can you hear me?" A soft voice asked, bringing me out of the dark's embrace.

Unfortunately.

"If you can…I want you to know that your father passed this off as a murder attempt. No one knows the full truth…except you."

Big shock there Diane.

She was silent for the longest time and I knew she was holding back tears while she looked upon me and I wished she would just leave. But no, I was Nate Grey and I never got what I wanted. I never got the girl, the money, the love. Never.

"Your father is giving you two weeks to wake up and if you wake up before then, the tour is still on. That selfish bastard."

I would have smirked at that last sentence if I could move. Could I survive two weeks of this? Could I wait that long? No…I couldn't. As much as I wanted to die, I wanted it to be soon and I did not want to spend my last minute lying, still as death already, on a bed. I heard her leave, but I knew she would be back. She would never let me go and I don't think I could let her go, no matter how hard I've tried, my thoughts went to her when I thought about releasing everything and letting go. It was like she was the thin string of steel, holding me tightly to life and I was unable to cut it, and no matter how much I wanted it gone, it would stay forever.

After 39 breathes, the door opened again, but no words were said as someone, probably a doctor, scribbled something down and the beeping of a machine was turned lower, and the door closed again just as the fires started to burn again. They raced closer and closer to my dry ice encased heart, but the flames stopped before they entered, burning away and scorching everything but the one organ that was keeping me alive. That was the worst pain; knowing I was so close to my goal of death and yet, it was just out of my reach, like everything else in this pointless life I lived.

JOE'S POV

I knew why Nick did what he did, but how could I have been so blind of the fact he was going to do it? I've seen him attempt it once and we stopped him, but this…I didn't think he would chance a second time. And he almost succeeded. If Diane hadn't found him…then Nick Grey would be no more. Nick Jonas would be gone and possibly…possibly Nick Lucas would be eternally lost.

I waited for the doctor to come out and say nothing has changed except his fever was a bit higher due to lack of insulin. I walked in with Kevin and again was shocked to see how small and pale he was, not moving. He could have been dead if not for the rise and fall of his chest and the annoying beeps of the heart rate monitor. Diane had just left to pick up Amanda and Nick's dad hasn't been seen since the first night. I lightly grasped Nick's unmoving hand, trying to think, to understand, the pain he that had pushed him to this limit.

But I could not. No empathy, only sympathy, was felt and I looked over to Kevin, whose gaze was darting from Nick to me, like he was seeing similarities. But he stopped when he met my gaze and he looked down sheepishly.

"What Kev?" I asked him, keeping my voice soft but the curiosity was still evident.

"Nothing." He answered and I raised my eyebrows. "I was just thinking…you know…he kind of looks like you." He finished, looking down in embarrassment.

I looked to Nick and I wished I was 100% certain. "He does…I wish I knew for sure…but I think he is…"

"Our brother." Kevin finished for me and I nodded.

We both looked down and watched him silently, wanting him to open his eyes, or at least to move, just to prove to us he was really alive. But he did not. For an hour, Kevin and I spoke of little, mainly about how Nick could do such a thing and put up with this life, and we started making connections of his life threw the songs he wrote. It wasn't that hard…in fact it was so blatantly obvious that we both were astounded no one figured it out before us.

When we were about to leave, Stella and Macy walked in, each carrying a 'Get Well Soon' card and a teddy bear. They stopped as they saw us standing and looking at them, obviously thinking they would be alone with Nick.

"Hey guys." Stella whispered, and Macy did not greet us as she bit her lip when she saw Nick and Stella's gaze followed and she closed her eyes for a second before reopening them, like she was making sure this wasn't a mirage.

"Hey." Kevin and I responded.

"So…it's true. Someone really did try to kill him ad now…" Macy trailed off and I bit down the truth and hated myself for sticking to a lie.

"I know…it's terrible…" Kevin said quietly and Stella nodded.

"And he was always well dressed…not that it matters…" Stella said going red and Joe forced a chuckle, resting his arm around her shoulder.

We all stayed like that for a moment, silent and waiting for something that might never come.

LEON'S POV

That poor excuse for a son. I should have known he would fight back when he became a surly teen with diabetes, when he cried out for attention that I would gladly give him. Only slaps did not satisfy him and they only caused him to rebel more. But that upped his image with his fans and in turn, I got more money. I had hoped by raping him, he would be mine, but no, that little rebel still acted like he had his own life, own mind. But he did not and I think he was starting to realize that. Why else would he try to attempt suicide?

I did not really care for I was set for life with the millions my slave gave to me. And I was sure this would be his last act of rebellion…if it was, I was golden, but if not and it became too extreme, I had a plan cooked up for him.

Some might ask why I had pleasure and how I found satisfaction in hurting Nicholas and the ones close to him and I would answer simply. I would say I have no pleasure and have never harmed him in any such way and yet my mind would be laughing at the way the looked when they believed my obvious lies. I loved hearing him scream in pain, whimper in fear, and yell at me. I loved the feeling of my skin hitting his and I loved to see the bruises I caused him being so carefully hidden. But most of all, I loved the dead look his eyes always carried and the petty fear they carried whenever I was near.

His acts of fear and pain and sorrow only fueled me more and I felt no remorse, no need to make it right. Like those before him, I was only in it for the money I had to gain and when I was finished with him…no one will remember the name of Nick Lucas or of Nick Grey. Not even those pesky brothers, Joe and Kevin…they would soon get what was coming to them as well.

I might not have much to gain from ridding of them, but they were they only ones who knew and yet they did not know I knew. They dumbly thought that I did not watch Nicholas's every move, every step. They thought I was at home, like a hermit, and waiting for the moment Nick came home. But no, I followed him everywhere; I knew whom he hated, whom he liked, where he ran to and when he cried. I knew everything about my little puppet, even how many fragments his heart was in. And I didn't care. I would never care, not even when he was lying in his own blood, begging for mercy with his last breath. I would not cry at that moment, only laugh as I watched the dull light fade from his eyes, like three before him had. And I would disappear, stalking, watching, waiting for another opportunity and if none came, I would live a happy life with the money I took from my underage servants.

I lived a good life of doing what I loved and I had help, of course, with others doing the same thing. Two others in fact and together, we three had no record with the police and little to none suspicion following us. I picked up my cell phone as it rang.

"Marie, long time no hear." I told her and she laughed.

"Leon, as suave as ever I see. I hear Nicholas has tried to rid himself of your hold by ridding himself of a life." Her cool voice told me and I smirked, not surprised she knew.

"Yes that ass did but he failed. I will shorten the leash and collar him permanently. How is your vermin obeying?" I questioned her, not of interest for the teen's sake, but of interest of her pain.

"Oh, little miss I'm-too-good-for-you is chained to the wall right now and has been for three days with no food and little water. I think she will be more respectful to me after this."

I laughed cruelly and Marie joined in. "Have you heard from Horton lately?"

"Yes. His little fucktard Elsa lost her will yesterday after he brutally…invaded…her. She is like a zombie, according to him and thankfully not pregnant, or else he would have to kill her. But her acting has taken on a new high and he is racking in the green." She sounded so jealous of him and I chuckled.

"Your Joanna not doing much for you? Her modeling not paying off?"

She grunted. "It is, but not nearly as much as I wanted. She won't last long, that's for sure. What about Nicholas? I hear the album went platinum already and his tour is earning big."

"You heard right. This one is in for a long life of living hell."

DIANE'S POV

"Mommy, can we go see Nick?" Amanda asked me, jumping onto my lap. "I miss him. Will he be the park?"

I couldn't meet her eyes. "No sweetie, we can't see Nick today. He is busy. But I am sure he missed you too."

I couldn't bring myself to tell Amanda Nick may never wake up, he may be dead before she got the chance to say goodbye. But it was better this way. Nick's letter was correct; she had suffered too much already to be burdened by his life and possible death. I sorted through the mail and I found his CD with our song Stay and I cried when I listened to it when Amanda was asleep. Nick…I'm sorry I was so blind.

NICK'S POV

The fire in my veins subsided finally, but my head was still burning and my limbs weak, but I could do nothing. I knew the poison was gone but the memories did not fade. They came back in full force, with me having no choice but to lay and watch them again and again. Everyone always says it gets better the second time, but no, for me, it was so much worse. This wasn't a simple shot, or re-taking a test, but reliving a life of pointless abuse and tears that felt like acid against my forever hurting skin.

I felt a cold hand go to my forehead and I heard Joe whisper, concerned about how hot my skin was to his touch. He did not remove his hand and for once, I was glad for the contact because his icy fingers felt really good across the burning battlefield of my head. After a few deep breaths, I became aware that I had strength, a limited amount, but enough to move my hand, breathe on my own, or, if I wanted to, to open my eyes.

But I remained still, wanting to 'wake' when no one was watching, when there was no one to see my tears of frustration that I had opened my eyes to see another day. I knew my past days would seem like a walk in the park because Leon was going to make my life a living hell. I knew he would find a way to make me a living zombie, a puppet, to shatter everything I am. I knew that it would not be easy to live through those days unless I submitted now…that was likely…but it would save me a world of pain that I did not want to go through again. So maybe…just maybe, it would be better for me to accept this future and become, willingly, his slave…

"Nick…" Joe whispered and I forced myself from the thoughts to listen to the last words he would freely say before I opened my eyes. "Nick…I think…I know…that you are my brother…you're Nick Lucas."

Shock engulfed me. Joe…no way. This lunatic needed to be put in the nearest insane asylum and put in a straight jacket and on medication. Of course the mentally retarded one cares for me, what luck Grey, what luck indeed. There was no way I was his brother, none at all. Sure, in the past I would have gladly accepted that fact, but know, I knew I was better off getting as far away from this git as possible and the only way to do that would be to submit to Leon, and I planned too. But then again…no…I may have been his brother in the past and Leon more than likely lied to me about my past, but in this future, in this reality, I wasn't his brother. I was a slave.

Koutai:

I have a contest like thing for you all. In a review, send me one idea for a one-three shot that you would like to see me write. It can be anything JONAS and the one I like the most I will write and if they consent, Snowfallxo and silvereyed Angel will help me decide. Until Next Update!