Chapter 11: The Mom That Broke Her Daughter

She wasn't sure why her mom wanted to see her. She'd been disgusted and clearly furious when she'd told her she was pregnant three weeks before. Maybe she'd come round to the idea. She hadn't been this angry when Alex had gotten Mia pregnant seven years ago.

She went alone to her mother's house. After parking up she went up to front door and calmly knocked on the door before her mom let her in. They went through the house and into the kitchen. "Would you like something to drink?" Marla asked "Coffee?"

"Just water for me" Adrianna replied patting her tiny bump. Marla poured her a glass of water and made herself a cup of coffee. They sat down at the table and Marla took a sip of her coffee. "Why did you ask me round?" Adrianna questioned.

"Because I realised I was wrong" Marla explained. "It took me a while to get my head around the idea of you having a baby with him. I shouldn't have told you to get rid of it Adrianna. That was horrible of me. It's just your my eldest daughter and you've always been so different. I didn't think you'd want kids, not with your job and all that. It was such a shock."

"Such a shock you had to be so cruel to me" Adrianna glared at her. "You didn't care that I'd almost had a miscarriage. You said and I quote 'I don't care, get rid of it'"

"I know I did" Marla sighed "I shouldn't have said that to you. You're my daughter and I love you"

"If you loved me, you'd accept what I do for a living, accept where I live and accept my boyfriend of two years!" Adrianna snapped. "You said it better not be his and that hurts. I would never cheat on him. Never even dream of it. I love him, more than you and dad ever loved each other."

"I do accept what you do and where you live" said Marla. "I even accept Donald"

"Do you?" Adrianna frowned cautiously.

"Yes I do" Marla nodded "I'm so sorry for what I said to you. I should never have said that to you. I'm sorry. And I do believe you."

"Believe me?" Adrianna asked.

"About your dad raping you" Marla replied. "I do believe you. It's I've always been afraid of him. He's got so much money and powerful lawyers, I knew if it went to court they'd destroy you and I couldn't bear that"

"I'd have been fine" Adrianna told her firmly. "I'm a big girl. I'm not weak. I could've stood my own in court. I don't think you realise how hard I've battled since my early teen years"

"I do Adrianna. I do" Marla said desperately "I was never really loved by my parents and I didn't know how to love you and your brother. I'm so sorry for everything I've ever done. I want to make it up to you. I want to be a good grandmother to your baby and a better mother to you. Please forgive you"

And in Adrianna's damaged mind that was enough to forgive her because to her she'd just been accepted by her mom. The only thing she'd ever wanted and now she had it. Her mom accepted her! "Ok" Adrianna smiled slightly.

"How are you feeling?" Marla asked, smiling.

"Great" Adrianna smiled. "My morning sickness isn't so bad now. I'm not quite so tired now either. I'm sore though, from my crash. I went for a scan yesterday just to check on the baby because of the crash. Thankfully everything was fine"

"That's good" Marla smiled back. "You're going to be a wonderful mommy to your baby. I think he will be a good daddy too."

"Thanks" Adrianna nodded, smiling.

"Are you still taking your medication?" Marla questioned looking more serious.

"I went to see my psychiatrist, Dr Melton" she explained "He's taken me off my usual medication and put me on something that is proven not to be harmful to foetuses"

"Good" Marla smiled. "I've got some vitamins for you to take for the next few weeks. They help ease the pain you feel in your breasts and ease your morning sickness. You need to take one of the first day then two, two days later. Then take two more two days after that if you don't feel they've helped."

"Thanks" Adrianna smiled as her mother placed a bottle in her hand, not realising she was handing her poison. Marla's love was poison and she was blissfully unaware of it.

"Listen Adrianna I booked us a flight to Greece. We're going to go and stay at your Auntie Letta for a week or two" Marla added.

"I'm not sure" Adrianna shook her head.

"It will be nice to have a little time to relax before the baby comes" Marla smiled.

"Can Don come?" she asked.

"No it's just for us two" Marla shook her head.

"I'll text him to let him know" Adrianna replied, agreeing to go with Marla.

They drove back to her apartment then headed for the airport. Two hours later they boarded the plane. Before long they were flying through the air, well on their way to Greece. They flew into Athens. A taxi drove them to her Aunt's house and they all had a long catch up.

Elsewhere Flack became worried when she did not return home (because he had not received a text from her) and couldn't get hold of her on her cell. "Come on pick up!" he cried desperately. But she didn't pick up. Panic flying through his veins he went to see Adrianna's mom hoping she might still be there. He knocked on the door and Kyron came to the door. "Is Adrianna here?" he asked.

"No she's not here" Kyron shook his head. "Why would you think she was?"

"She came to see Marla earlier and she hasn't come home" Flack explained.

"Oh well she isn't here now" Kyron replied. "I saw her leave about four. You can check the house if you want"

So he did. This proved that Adrianna was not there. She had been there earlier, he knew she had. So where was she? She always had her cell on, she almost never turned it off and she always answered him, just like he always answered her. So this was out of character. Then he realised Marla was also gone. "Where's Marla taken her?" he demanded furiously "WHERE IS SHE?"

"I don't know what you're talking about" Kyron shrugged.

"Yes you do!" Flack exclaimed angrily "She was here earlier. Tell me where she is!"

"I don't know where she is" Kyron replied "Now if you wouldn't mind leaving or I'll be forced to call the police"

"Tell me where she is and I'll leave" Flack gave him an ultimatum.

"I do not know where Adrianna is" Kyron smirked slightly before shoving him out of the house. "Now go!"

"Fine" Flack huffed. He stepped back and Kyron slammed the door shut. He left feeling like he'd just been lied to. He knew he'd been lied to. He knew Kyron knew exactly where Adrianna was and he knew this was all Marla's doing.

That night she took one of the pills before she went to sleep. She didn't know just what those pills were because if she had she would not have put them anywhere near her mouth.

The following day she followed her mother's instructions and took two of the pills. Two days later she didn't feel any different so she took more of the pills and in the following morning she did feel slightly different. She was ever so slightly lightheaded. "Mom I don't feel great" she said sitting herself down on a chair on the veranda.

"Maybe you should just take it easy today" Marla replied. "Sometimes being pregnant makes you feel a bit ill"

So Adrianna spent the day resting. She laid by the pool for a while and napped in her room but instead of feeling better, she felt worse. Then she realised something else. She couldn't remember the last time she'd felt her little boy move. Siting at the dinner table she fiddled with her food as her stomach knotted itself with fear. "Are you ok Adrianna?" Marla asked concernedly.

"Mom I don't remember the last time I felt my little boy move" she replied tearfully.

Marla encased her in a protective hug and reassured her everything would be ok. Then after dinner she took the phone and booked her an appointment at a local clinic.

By now people back home, where they worked, had started to ask where she was. "Where's Adrianna?" Cass asked.

"She's gone on maternity leave" he lied because he didn't have a clue where really she was. How could answer that truthfully? He really didn't know.

Even Mac asked. "Where's Adrianna?" he asked "I heard she hasn't been seen since Tuesday"

"I don't know where she is Mac" he replied truthfully "She went to see her mom on Tuesday but she didn't comeback. I've been hoping she'll comeback but she hasn't. I don't have a clue where she is and I'm worried sick"

Mac persuaded Flack to report her missing. She was declared missing and registered as a missing person, leaving Flack beside himself with worry. Where was she? Was still alive?

Back in Greece, the following day her mom took her to see a local doctor, who gave her the worse news imaginable…

Sitting in the waiting room Adrianna's heart was beating at a million miles an hour. Not feeling her baby move for so long was a very bad sign. She knew that and she couldn't bear the idea of her baby having died inside her.

After waiting twenty minutes she was called in. The nurse asked her a few questions then did a scan. Adrianna heard nothing. The room was completely silent. Then the nurse said "Eímai akrivós prókeitai na párei éna giatró". ("I'm just going to get a doctor")

The nurse left the room and Adrianna started to feel her whole world crumble around her. She knew it. Her little boy was gone.

Five minutes later the nurse returned with a male doctor. He sat down and took a look at the screen then nodded. "Den ypárchei énas ktýpos tis kardiás. Fovámai moroú sas fýgei. Den ypárchei típote állo pou boroúme na kánoume. Eínai katá pása pithanótita tha páei stin ergasía fysiká mésa se mia-dyo méres"

In English that meant: "There isn't a heartbeat. I'm afraid your baby's gone. There isn't much else we can do. She'll probably go into labour naturally within a couple of days"

Adrianna burst into tears. How could this be happening to her? Didn't she deserve to be happy for once in her life? This couldn't be happening? Then she thought, how would she tell Flack what had happened? Would he blame her? Deep down she knew he wouldn't but in her damaged mind she just couldn't see it.

Back at her Aunt's house she shut herself away and cried. She couldn't deal with this pain. How could she? She'd suffered so much pain in her life that this blow was just so hard to take. She had suffered sexual, physical and emotional abuse for years, been judged by everyone she'd ever met and had attempted suicide three times. She was not a person who would be able to deal with something as traumatic as this with great ease. Then a horrific thought popped into her mind. Her baby had been absolutely fine until she'd taken those vitamins.

She went downstairs and logged onto her cousins' computer and typed in the name of the vitamins but to her horror they did not exist. So she searched up abortion pills and on images she saw the exact pills her mother had given her. There was no doubt in Adrianna's mildly mutilated mind that her mom had known what they were when she had given them to her. She had given her an abortion without her even realising. How could she do that to her? How could she? Then she realised. Of course it was obvious wasn't it? Marla hadn't Flack and she did not want her to have his baby. She had never accepted anything about her life like she'd told her. She had lied to her. She knew how fragile she was and she knew just how to manipulate her. She'd made her believe she accepted her life, even Flack then used this to silently give her an abortion.

Adrianna closed the web browser down, ran up to the room she had been sleeping in and broke down in tears. Everything was gone. Adrianna was heartbroken. She felt her whole world crumbling down around her. She was pregnant with a dead baby; her dead baby. She felt sick to the stomach at the thought of what her mother had done to her and to him. She sobbed for hours and hours. Her baby was dead and her own mother had killed it. She hated her mother for what she had done. She had killed her own grandchild. The pain was unbearable. She'd never get to hold her baby, feel him breathing, hear him laughing or see him smile. She'd never see him take his first steps, say his first words or see him start school. Her mother had taken all that away from her. All those things a new mom had to look forward, all the things she had been looking forward to, they were all gone, and all because her mother hated Flack for being different.

Then about nine o'clock that night the door creaked open and Marla came inside. Adrianna was still curled up in a broken ball upon the bed. "Come out and have something to eat" Marla said softly.

"How could you?" Adrianna replied in a whisper, a whisper that conveyed the pain of a broken soul.

"I don't know what you mean" Marla responded, clearly playing ignorant.

"Yes you do, you gave me an abortion" Adrianna sobbed. "How could you?"

"He would've runaway" Marla justified herself and also freely admitted what she had done to her daughter.

"No he wouldn't" sobbed Adrianna. How could Marla try to justify her actions? "He loves me and he wanted our baby. HOW COULD YOU KILL MY CHILD?!"

"I did what was best for you" Marla replied.

"NO YOU DIDN'T!" Adrianna screamed getting up off the bed. "YOU DID IT BECAUSE YOU CAN'T BEAR THE THOUGHT OF ME GIVING BIRTH TO THE CHILD OF SOMEONE WHO ISNT LIKE US! YOU DIDN'T DO THIS TO MIA OR DISOWN ALEX!"

"Because Mia is nice and Alex is in a respectable job. Mia is a nurse. She is in a much safer profession" Marla tried to come up with an excuse but Adrianna was having none of it.

"NO. NO DON'T DO THIS!" She cried hysterically "YOU DIDN'T DO IT TO MIA BECAUSE YOU LIKE HER DESPITE THE FACT THAT SHE'S NOT FROM A WEALTHY FAMILY. YOU DIDN'T DO IT BECAUSE ALEX IS YOUR ONLY SON. YOU DIDN'T DO IT BECAUSE HE WENT INTO THE PROFESSION YOU WANTED HIM TO GO INTO. YOU HATE ME. YOU CAN'T ACCEPT ME FOR WHO I AM. AND YOU CAN'T ACCEPT THE FACT I LOVE A COP AND I WANT TO HAVE HIS CHILD. YOU JUST HATE HIM BECAUSE YOU'RE A STUPID SELFISH BITCH!"

"You little bitch!" Marla snapped before slapping her daughter round the face. Adrianna retaliated by hitting her mother back then pushing her over. Then she stormed away in disgust.

The following day she flew back to New York alone. Nearly all of the stewards' and stewardesses' and those sitting next to or near her asked if she was alright because she seemed so detached from the world. She lied and told them she was but she clearly wasn't.

When she got back to America she took a taxi back home and curled up in a ball on the sofa. She just laid there in silence, tears silently rolling down her cheeks. She was broken. She was a broken angel.

About four hours later Flack arrived home and froze when he saw her. "Adrianna" he choked. "Where've you been?"

"I went to Greece with my mom" she replied quietly, pushing herself up on the sofa and wiping her cheeks.

"You did?" he frowned.

"Yes" she nodded, feeling perplexed. She'd sent him a text telling him where she was going. She'd left him a voicemail too. "I sent you a text and I left you a voicemail on your phone"

"I never had a text or a voicemail" he told her, feeling confused.

"It must not have delivered" she exhaled, trying to hold herself together.

"I thought you were dead" he said softly taking her in his arms and holding her in a tight yet comforting hug.

"I'm sorry" she sobbed.

"It's not really your fault" he replied.

He asked if she was ok and she lied to him, telling him she was fine. She told him that she'd had lovely time in Greece and that she and her mom had worked to fix their ever strained relationship. But she couldn't bring herself to tell him their baby was dead and had been killed by her own mother. He would be devastated; he'd blame himself for it. How could she even begin to explain it to him?

In the days that followed she entered a downward spiral, everybody at work had something to say and she couldn't cope. Her whole world was crumbling around her and she just couldn't take it. She couldn't cope with what her mother had done to her and her baby. She was so confused. She was hurting. Thinking of all the pain, everybody at work hating her, her mother's overbearing preferences and constant interferences and all the things her dad had done to her, touching her, watching her and raping her. She struggled by from day to day, slowly breaking down. Flack could see it and he didn't know why and she wouldn't tell him. One day she found herself locked in the bathroom with a knife. She stabbed it into her arm and sliced her skin. Before long blood was gushing from her arm. Terrified she wrapped a towel round it and drove herself to hospital where she received stitches. Flack was furious and begged her to tell him what was wrong. But she refused and the pain just got worse. She couldn't carry on anymore.

One month after being told her baby boy was dead she snapped. "Why won't you tell anyone where you went?" Cass asked coldly.

"Because it's none of your business" she retorted.

That day after her shift she headed home and found some paper. She wrote a note for Flack and left in on the kitchen table. Then she rifled through the medicine cabinet and found a tub of painkillers that hadn't been opened. She took the lid off the bottle and tipped the whole thing into her mouth, downing them with a glass of water. Then she went into the bathroom and ran herself a bath. Ten minutes later she climbed into a hot bath. She soon became drowsy and eventually fell unconscious.

Flack arrived home shortly after. Seeing her things he realised she was home. "Adrianna?" he called out but there was no reply "Adrianna?"

He looked around and heard what sounded like someone in the bath. He knocked on the bathroom door. "Adrianna?" he asked. "Adrianna?" but Adrianna didn't respond. He managed to unlock the bathroom door from the outside and went in, where he was met by a horrific sight. She was under the water and she didn't seem to be moving. He went over and reached into the water and touched her. But she didn't move. He grabbed her arm and yanked her body into the sitting position. Her lips were blue and she didn't seem to be breathing. He lifted her out and placed her on the floor and frantically dialled 911 before administering CPR. "Come on Adrianna not now!" he cried desperately as he pressed frantically on her chest. "You've got so much to look forward to. Come on please!" The paramedics arrived within minutes and resuscitated her before rushing her to the nearest ER. He went with her. Had she tried to commit suicide? If so why the hell had she done it?

He didn't let go of her hand in the ambulance or once they got into the hospital where doctors and nurses joined them. "Adrianna Marcus, 33, found unconscious in the bath. GCS 5, pulse 65, BP 120 over 80, sats 75"

They took her into resus and started assessing her. "I want U's and E's, FBC and LFT" the doctor who appeared to be in charge. Doctors and nurses rushed round her, working frantically on her. "How far gone is she?" one doctor asked.

"About 29, 30 weeks" he replied anxiously.

"It's no good we're going to have to do a crash C-Section or we'll lose them both. Call the neonatal team." Another doctor announced "You'll have to leave sir"

So he went outside and watched nervously through the window as they cut her open and pulled a small baby from her body. He was tiny and not screaming which meant he probably wasn't breathing. They took the tiny baby to another bed to work on him while doctors worked on her. Two nurses and a doctor entered the room. They went straight over to work on the tiny baby boy.

The two nurses and the doctor left the room wheeling the tiny baby boy away in an incubator. Adrianna had been told he was dead and yet he seemed to be alive. One of the nurses informed him they had taken the baby to the neonatal unit and were moving Adriana to the ICU. They soon moved Adrianna too. They took her to ICU. He followed her up. He waited outside while they sorted her out. He was eventually allowed to go in. the doctor explained. "We have placed her on the ventilator to support her breathing and she is in a medically induced coma to preserve brain function. Her stomach has been pumped and the water has been drained from her lungs"

"Pumped?" he frowned.

"She overdosed" the doctor explained "She most likely took the pills, climbed into the bath and passed out"

"Why would she do that?" he asked heartbrokenly.

"I don't know" the doctor sighed.

"Will she be ok?" he asked quietly looking over to her.

"It's too early to say" the doctor replied "We don't know what the damage there has been to her brain. However early observations do suggest the chance for her survival is slim"

He looked down to the floor and felt his heart shatter into a million pieces. She was gone wasn't she? She'd taken her own life. Tears streamed down his cheeks and he fell down into the chair beside her bed. The doctor left them alone and he took her hand in his and clung tightly to it. "Why?" he sobbed "Why did you do this?"

He looked at her through his tears. She had a tube coming out of her mouth, which was the ventilator. She was covered in wires which were in turn attached to machines that beeped loudly. Those machines were the only things keeping her alive. "You have got to fight Adrianna" he whispered "You have to meet your baby"

He sat with her for a while before he left because it was becoming too much. He left and found out where the neonatal ward was and headed there. A nurse took him through to see their son and left him with the doctor in charge of his care. "He wasn't breathing when he was born as his lungs are slightly underdeveloped. We've given him a dose of surfactant to strengthen them and he is currently on the ventilator. Hopefully his lungs will develop and become stronger in time and he'll be able to come off the ventilator. He weighs 2lb 3oz" he explained "His eyes are still fused shut but they should open within a few days. There appears to be damage to one of his kidneys among other problems. He is very weak."

"Will he survive?" Flack asked, not getting his hopes up.

"I would like to think so, providing he doesn't contract any infections he will probably grow stronger and hopefully be ok. There may be certain developmental problems, learning difficulties, hearing or sight problems. These are common in premature babies" the doctor replied optimistically. "Also due him being premature he may not be able to feed properly at first but this common and eventually he will be able to feed normally. Would you like to see him?"

"Please" he nodded. The doctor led him into a room where there were several incubators, all surrounded by numerous machines. He led him over to one in the corner. He looked inside and saw a tiny baby boy with small tuffs of dark hair surrounded by and covered in wires. "You can touch him" said the doctor opening one of the portholes. He reached inside and touched the baby's tiny arm. He was warm to the touch and so soft. He felt tears in his eyes once more. He stroked his arm with his finger and watched his tiny chest gently rise and fall. He didn't know what to say or if he should say anything. It was so painful. The baby boy was fighting for his life and so was his mother. He stayed awhile before he went home.

Back home he found Adrianna's note on the kitchen table and he fell to pieces when he read it…