It wasn't until around 4 in the morning when an event happened. Tony woke up from a brief nightmare though he was glad it didn't wake Sharon as she was still sound asleep besides him. Climbing out of the bed, he walked out onto the balcony and looked out. He looked down and saw two individuals in the Jacuzzi at the pool and his eyes widened.
"Holy motherfucking shit!" he whispered and practically ran back inside to wake Sharon
He climbed on top of her and began to gently shake her:
"Shar" he began
"Mmm" she moaned still asleep
"Shar, honey wake up" he continued
She sighed "Tony I'm not in the mood right now, go back to sleep"
"You need to see what's outside!" he said and her eyes snapped open
She sat up and looked him in the eyes:
"It better be a damn good reason because its" she glanced at the clock "4 in the morning!"
"Just come with me but be quiet" he instructed
They both walked out to the balcony and he pointed to the pool area. Sharon's eyes got to be the size of golf-balls.
"Is that?" Sharon began
"Bruce and Valkryie in a hot tub, yes" Tony said and Sharon ran back into the room. She turned the lights on, put on her slippers and put her black rimmed square frame glasses on. She pulled her hair into a pony tail. She grabbed her zip-up 'Harvard University: Class of 1992' sweatshirt and began to walk out the door
"Where the hell are you going?" he asked
"I'm grabbing Maria, she needs to see this" she explained
"Why?" Tony questioned
"Because Natasha thought that he was cheating on her" she explained
"What! Why didn't you tell me this?"
"Because you're best friends with the guy!" she snapped
"Okay" he said putting both hands up
Tony started turning the lights on in the room but checked to make sure Bruce and Valkyrie didn't see them. Eventually, Sharon came in with Maria, Clint, Steve, Hope, Scott and Rhodey.
"Outta my way, I need to see this!" Clint said practically running to the window
"Move it or lose it!" Maria said barreling towards the window
"Oh my god!" Scott said looking out the other window
Maria and Sharon walked back and sat down on the couch that was facing the window
"Sharon and Maria" Tony began "If Steve or I was with another person of the opposite sex, in a hot tub at 4 in the morning would it be considered cheating?"
"Oh definitely cheating" Sharon stated
"Cheating, and if I found out, I literally would say, go fuck yourself…don't worry Steve, I know you don't do that" Maria replied and Steve shook his head
"Natasha's not gonna be happy" Rhodey said looking out the window
"Seriously? I wouldn't even let Scott go in there with another woman, let alone another guy" Hope said putting her head in her hands
"Why would you go into the Jacuzzi with another woman that's not Natasha? Why? You're only setting yourself up for shit! You're gonna get killed, you're gonna get destroyed! Nat get's crazy when you piss her off."Clint explained
"This is crazy" Steve said crossing his arms as he looked out the window
"I wonder what he's saying to her." Hope asked
"I'm President and CEO of the I'm Fucked Foundation" Maria replied
"This is so bad. Bruce is gonna have to change his name, his age, his nationality, his social security. He's going to have to be legit Puerto Rican Jesus in Puerto Rico!" Sharon explained
"I can't understand what goes through that man's head" Tony said shaking his head in disgust
"Dude this man is a legend" Scott said looking out the window
He turned back to the group and explained:
"I mean yeah, this is just shocking to me. Like I want to be upset about it but at the same time I'm like I can't believe this man. This man is a savage. History books are going to be written about Savage Bruce."
"Okay he's moving around, there's movement!" Clint advised
"They are having sex?" Maria asked
"No, but there's movement!" Clint verified
"Oh my god" Rhodey began heading towards the door
"I'm watching" Sharon said also going towards the door
"Pass the mother-fucking popcorn!" Tony exclaimed and Steve went over to grab a bag from the vending machine
"Do not open that door!" Maria began
"Don't do it!" Hope advised
"I feel like he can see in with the lights!" Scott stated also getting up
"Do you have Camo?" Sharon asked looking at Maria
"Maybe, I'll be back" Maria said walking out of the room
"I think if we lay on the ground he won't see" Tony said as Rhodey slowly opened the door so he could crawl out onto the patio
"Why are you guys doing this?" Hope asked
"I mean it's already happening and if we try and intervene he probably would be pissed so, we might as well watch" Sharon explained crawling after Tony
Maria came back into the room in workout clothes in Camouflage print and crawled onto the deck.
"I got Camo on guys" Maria said
"I meant black" Sharon replied
"I put Camo on" Maria said in annoyance
"We're not going hunting for deer" Sharon whispered back
"Alright come on, we're missing the show" Scott said as he Rhodey, Clint and Hope crawled out onto the deck as well
When Steve came back in, he crouched down on the deck and went out as well so no one would see him.
"You have popcorn?" Clint gasped
"Yes" Steve whispered
"I mean Bruce is digging his own grave right now, but let's face it, we are enjoying the show. I mean this is better than anything that would be on TV right now, this guy is epic" Rhodey replied quietly
"The name of this movie is going to be called 'I cheated'" Tony said and everyone nodded
When they all started watching, Maria said quietly:
"Wait, we need to tell Natasha. She needs to know"
"How we gonna tell her?" Hope asked
"We write a note" Sharon said
"Like those idiots did on Jersey Shore?" Clint asked
"That's a great idea!" Scott said excitedly "Write it like the Sammi Note!" The three girls nodded in agreement
"Okay you guys stay out here, we're gonna write this thing" Maria said and all three woman crawled back inside
Sharon grabbed her laptop and all three women sat down at the table. Sharon opened a word document and said:
"Should we do it in Hot Pink Font?" making all three woman laugh
Then when Maria began speaking and Sharon began typing:
"The third night here, when you were crying, Bruce went into the hot tub with Valkyrie and put his head near her breasts" Maria began
"Also was staring at her behind multiple times" Maria continued
"Boing?" Sharon replied and all three women laughed again
"This is gonna be so bad, hopefully she won't know it's us" Hope said worryingly
"Don't worry, we say ass like, it's not behind. She probably won't even know it's us"
"Bruce has been talking about her for a while; therefore we were concerned for you. Multiple people on the team know, therefore you should know the truth" Maria finished
"Love Sharon, Maria and Hope" Sharon said making the girls laugh again
Surprisingly the room had a printer so they printed the letter addressed to Natasha and slid it under her door. When they returned to the room, all of the men were sitting on the couches or pacing and still debating on what Nat was going to do to him if she found out. A few moments later, all of them heard screaming in the hall.
All of them got up to witness a war going on:
"I KNEW I SHOULDN'T HAVE TRUSTED YOU! YOU BIG GREEN ASSHOLE!" Natasha yelled throwing Bruce's shoes at him
"But he's not green?" Scott asked and Hope put a finger to his mouth
"Nat I didn't cheat on you!" Bruce replied
"YES YOU DID! WHO WROTE THE NOTE?" Natasha asked in anger
"We did" Maria said and Natasha used her right index finger and slid it across her throat while looking at Bruce
"What's going on?" Strange asked coming out of his room with Wong in tow
"Bruce is cheating on Nat!" Scott said pointing at Bruce who was confused as can be
"Wow Banner, you're digging your own grave" Wong said shaking his head in disappointment
"And we thought you were smart" Strange said crossing his arms
"I'm…I mean I'm not…Nat I'm not cheating on you!" Bruce said defending himself
"Wait a minute!" Clint said pointing at the sight "If Bruce is here, then who's out there with Valkyrie?"
Natasha started charging towards Clint and everyone took a step back as she walked into the room and onto the deck. Natasha's eyes widened:
"How are you in two places at once?" she asked
"I'm not" Bruce replied
"If you're the real Banner, than who is that?" Tony asked
Everyone was quiet before Scott said: "GET THOR!"
Everybody rushed out of the room to get Thor who was asleep. Scott began knocking loudly:
"THOR! THOR, PLEASE OPEN UP! WE GOT A SITUATION!"
Thor answered looking tired before Scott explained the situation, causing Thor to grab Stormbreaker and walk with them down to the pool. Upon approaching the pool the Bruce that was there, got up in confusion.
"Thor what are you…" he began
"Jig's up fake Banner or should we say FANNER?" Scott said and Hope looked at him weird
"I have…" the person said
"Reindeer Games, we know it's you. So you better stop it, so we're not here all night" Tony said crossing his arms
Then a glowing light happened to reveal who truly was impersonating Bruce, Loki.
"Called it!" Tony said fist bumping Clint and Scott
"LOKI!" Thor boomed
"Wait, wait, wait don't hurt me!" Loki said putting his hands up in defense
Valkyrie slapped him in response knocking him to the ground. She grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and glared at him intensely.
"The only reason I agreed to meet with you was because you said you wanted to talk about building a Starbucks in New Asgard." Valkyrie threatened
She turned towards Thor before she asked:
"I'm taking him back to New Asgard tonight" Valkyrie explained
"Actually I know an easier way to get him there" Steve said and the next thing everybody knew, Wong was opening a portal to New Asgard and Loki was stepping in. Thor, who had finally figured out how to use a cell phone, texted Korg and Meek to alert them of the new 'visitor.' Once the portal was closed, Steve said:
"Okay everybody back to bed"
As everyone started walking to bed Strange said to Wong in sign-language:
"It's a disaster"