Thank you for your reviews! They make me very happy. Hope you enjoy this part. I've got two exams and a presentation in the next eight days so will be quite busy studying so not sure when I will have time to write the next chapter. As always, I enjoy hearing your thoughts/comments/criticism etc.
White demoness: You are right about the other scars, of course. However, I forgot about those when I began the story and I can't be bothered to write them into the story, as I don't think they would change the story all that much. I apologise for this; however, the story is already quite far away from the books in various aspects, so I figure it probably won't matter very much. But thank you for pointing it out!
Andrea xx
Snape's POV
"How stupid can a third year be?" Hermione exclaimed as she entered Snape's sitting room on Friday after supper.
Snape was sitting on a chair, reading. As he noticed her enter, he placed his book on the table and focused all his attention on her.
The different ways in which Hermione entered his sitting room had quickly turned into one of the best parts of the day. Whilst Hermione did not display her feelings very openly in public, or to her friends for that matter, as Snape had gathered from the way she spoke of her friends, she almost always displayed a reaction of some kind when she entered his quarters. Sometimes she was mad at someone for saying something hurtful to her, or to someone else, and would go off on a rant about how mean children could be to one another. Other times, she was happy and energetic because of the way a Transfigurations lesson had gone or because she had read something interesting. When The Daily Prophet published an article about her, which it did fairly often seeing as she was what they liked to call a "war hero", she usually stormed into his rooms, furiously muttering how big of an idiot that and that reporter was. Sometimes, like today, she was annoyed at a student and complained about how dumb some of them were. Once in a while, she would enter his rooms quietly with a sad look in her eyes. Snape hated those days as he loathed being unable to help her, which he obviously was as he couldn't just ask her what was wrong. No, the days when she entered his rooms exclaiming something, regardless of what it was, were definitely preferable.
For some unknown reason, knowing that she found his rooms safe enough to let her guard down in felt good, very good indeed. Whilst her stories amused him, it was not the stories he enjoyed the most, it was the fact that she dared to be at least a resemblance of herself in his presence. Since he had got to know her better, it had become blatantly obvious to him how much of her personality in public was really an act. In public, she was the perfect goody-two-shoes girl and student, always nice to everyone, friends with most of the teachers, always smiling and always doing what people expected her to do. In private, or at least, in his private rooms, she was quite different to the student he saw during meals and in lessons. Instead, she was fairly quiet, very efficient (she wasted no time on small talk, something he was very grateful for) and often very sarcastic. Like him, she was a private person and she did not tell him anything about herself unless he asked specifically, which he almost never did. He had recently discovered that she drank a lot of coffee, usually about four or five cups a day, and that she liked white wine a lot. Finding out that she didn't really care about obtaining certain results, but simply enjoyed learning in itself, had surprised him. He had reached the conclusion that stressing over exams was something she did because it gave her an excuse to spend time alone.
"Very stupid," he said with a small smirk and watched her kick off her shoes and hang her cloak on the sofa, before she sank down on it. How she could be this comfortable around him was beyond his understanding.
"Trevor Collins was about to transfigure a chair into a table, but instead, he pointed his wand at his friend sitting in a chair behind the one he was aiming at, and so Sophie Shepherd ended up with her arms and legs in the shape of table legs. It took me and Professor McGonagall almost half an hour to figure out how to get her back to normal as it isn't a spell meant for use on humans in the first place." Hermione sighed loudly and played with a lock of her hair.
"Imagine the look on Minerva's face if Miss Shepherd had been turned into an actual table," Snape said as his eyes shone with amusement.
"You're awful, you know," Hermione berated him but burst out laughing. "To be honest, her face was quite aghast already" she continued with an evil grin on her face. "You know what the hardest part was? I couldn't laugh. And honestly, a third-year with table-legs as limbs is a very amusing sight."
"I bet," he said and his smirk deepened.
They were quiet for a few minutes, both enjoying the silence they did not get to experience during the day when they were around other students.
"Should I get ready to remove my memories?" Hermione broke the silence and sat up with her back straight.
"Yes. You should think of one memory at a time and then I will extract it from your mind. However, the pensieve is in my study." He stood up and beckoned for her to follow.
They walked through one of the three doors Hermione had yet to enter and ended up in an office. There was a large table, with enough room for six people at least, which was covered with parchments and quills of all kinds. Bookcases and a few built-in cupboards covered the walls. Snape pulled out a chair and gestured for her to sit down. He walked over to one of the cupboards and levitated the pensieve from the cupboard to the table.
"How many memories do you want me to remove?"
"Four."
"Let me know when you have the first one on the front of your mind."
Hermione closed her eyes and was quiet for a few moments before she let him know that she was ready.
Snape put the tip of his wand to her temple and a thought incantation later, there was a silvery piece hanging on the end of his wand. He placed it in the pensieve and looked at her sitting there, quietly, with her eyes closed. They repeated the process another three times.
"How are you feeling?" he asked, knowing that the first time one's memories were extracted could be difficult.
"A bit strange, but fine. Let me know what I should do when you enter my mind."
"The first time someone evades your mind is very trying, so I will start by just entering your mind and then pulling out after a moment. It would help if you could try to think of as little as possible but it is not a requirement."
"I'll do my best. We should have eye contact, right?"
"Yes. Take a moment to clear your mind and let me know when you are ready."
A minute or so later Hermione whispered a short "ready" and Snape cast the spell. He felt himself being sucked into her mind and was surprised to find that the experience was not unpleasant at all. In fact, it was quite pleasant, almost like an embrace. Whilst he had had permission when he entered the minds of others before, he had never entered the mind of someone who practically invited him in, as that was how it felt like. There were a variety of images floating around near the surface tempting him but he resisted the urge to poke around and left her mind, hoping that it hadn't been too uncomfortable for her. Her reaction was not what he had expected.
"Wow, Harry said that legilimency was horrible, I was really bracing myself for something awful, but that was incredible," she said in awe.
"I have to admit that I am equally surprised," he said and was quiet for a moment. "I suppose it could have something to do with the fact that you not only permit my entering your mind, but almost seem to welcome it, subconsciously, probably because you know that it is part of finding a solution for your scars."
Hermione nodded absentmindedly and Snape could tell that she was thinking hard.
"Have you ever entered the mind of a friend or someone who trusts you before?" she asked quietly and met his dark eyes.
"I suppose the closest person I've used legilimency on is Albus, but we were never friends. I cared for him and I believe he held some affection for me but we never talked the way friends do," he replied in an equally quiet voice and it was obvious to both of them that he had left out the words "the way you and I do".
"Were you suspicious when he entered your mind?"
"Always," he replied quickly.
"That's the difference. I trust you implicitly, Severus. I was not the least suspicious or scared that you were going to abuse the trust I gave you when I let you enter my mind," she said slowly and looked into his eyes.
She trusts me? Implicitly? What is wrong with her?
"I want to try something," she said. "I want you to enter my mind and try to look at any memory. I want to see if you can feel my reaction."
"Very well," Snape replied, not quite sure in which direction she was heading.
"I'm ready," she said clearly and looked straight into his eyes.
Snape entered her mind once more and was again surprised at how comfortable and smooth it felt. Hemoved towards one of the memories that was closest to him and tried to watch it. Whilst there was no force that was really stopping him from watching the memory, he sensed a strong reluctance from her and the thought of crossing it and watching the memory against her will made him feel sick. He pulled out of her mind.
It took him a moment to collect himself. He had never experienced anything like it. How could he not have read about this? Surely other people out there must have experienced the same thing. Then again, there were not many books on legilimency and not many accomplished legilimenses out there anymore. Plus, no one learned legilimency because they wanted to enter the minds of their friends. Legilimency was an art mainly practiced by people who wanted to enter the minds of their enemies or the people they were suspicious of. Hence it was quite likely that not many people had used it on someone they trusted, which would explain why he hadn't read anything about it in any of his books.
"See? I think trust makes all the difference," Hermione interrupted his train of thought. "How did it feel for you?"
"I would have been able to look at the memory had I really tried to, but somehow your reluctance made it clear to me that I shouldn't. In fact, I almost felt sick at the thought of watching the memory against your will. The feeling of sickness disappeared the moment I stopped trying," he said slowly, choosing his words carefully.
"I thought so. I tried to mentally let you know that I didn't want you to see it and then I felt you leave my mind."
"Are you too tired or should we try once more? I would like to have a look through your mind to see how it is built and organised," he asked.
"I'm all right. Of course, especially since you'll be searching it endlessly later on," Hermione replied with a strange smile.
"At your signal."
"I'm ready," she answered a few moments later.
When he delved into her mind for the third time, it felt strangely familiar, almost as if he was coming home. Strange, but not unpleasant, he mused. For the first time, he had a proper look around her mind. Unsurprisingly, there were an endless number of pools of memories, feelings and thoughts floating around. Whilst there was no order, per se, they were organised into groups. He approached a random group and noticed that it contained memories connected to her childhood. He saw a quick image of what he presumed was a younger Hermione and her parents on a playground. The next group he looked at was a lot bigger and after a closer look, he saw that it was memories connected to Hogwarts. He saw images of Potter and Weasley float by. As soon as he started to see parts of an actual memory, he pulled back. They had not discussed which memories he was allowed to look at and which he wasn't, and he didn't want to take any chances. In general, he could tell that her mind was unusually detailed for someone as young as her, but he was not that surprised, considering that she was a highly intelligent young witch. He decided that he had been in her mind long enough and pulled out, making an effort to do so as slowly as possible, to make sure that he didn't startle her.
Hermione was sitting quite limply in her chair, obviously quite tired.
"Are you all right?" he asked, wondering if he had been in her mind for too long.
"Yes, yes. I just need something to drink, could we maybe move into the other room?" she asked, her voice slightly shaky.
"Of course," he replied and moved towards the door.
Hermione stood up too quickly and swayed slightly. Snape caught her arm quickly and steadied her.
"I'm okay, just a bit dizzy," she said in a weak voice.
Snape put one arm on her shoulder and kept the other one on her arm and led her through the door into his sitting room. They walked over to the sofa where she usually sat and he kept his hand on her shoulder until she had sat down completely.
"It is nothing to worry about, it will pass," he said quietly and ordered some light food and drinks for the two of them.
A house elf arrived with the food a couple of minutes later and by then most of the colour had returned to Hermione's face. He poured her a cup of coffee as well as a glass of water and placed the glasses on the table in front of her. The house elf had also, knowingly, brought a bar of chocolate and he placed it next to her coffee. They sat in silence for a while, sipping their drinks and she ate some chocolate.
"I feel a lot better now," Hermione said as she poured herself her second cup of coffee. "Well, this will make our research a lot easier, won't it?"
"Yes," he agreed. "However, we should still take it slowly, it will take you some time to get used to it and we don't want to put additional stress on your mind," he said seriously.
Hermione nodded her acceptance. She opened her mouth as if she was going to say something and closed it after a second, obviously reconsidering what she was going to say. A couple of minutes later she spoke up.
"Having you in my mind felt soothing," she said clearly. "And very intimate."
"I was in your mind, Hermione," Snape replied in respect to her last words and tilted his head to one side. "I am aware that this is a very strange situation for you to be in, I am your teacher after all," he continued and his eyes looked sad for a second before he masked his emotions. He was well aware of the fact that their relationship was far from the normal one between a teacher and a student. However, he had cleared their project with Minerva before they began, telling her that they were altering the Wolfsbane, and she had given her approval. By now, he was also conscious of the fact that he knew a lot more about Hermione than most other people did, especially in comparison to the other teachers. He wondered if she felt uncomfortable about that. Then again, she knew more about him than most people. It dawned on him that that should make him uncomfortable but for some reason it didn't. He realised that he had developed a certain trust for her. In fact, he was not at all scared that she was going to tell anyone that she had seen him cry. He cringed at the memory and Hermione thankfully interrupted his train of thoughts.
"I'm okay with that," Hermione replied kindly. "You're only going to be my teacher for one final term anyway," she stated.
"Yes," he agreed and was silent for a couple of moments. "I hope you know that I won't divulge anything of what I might see, when I am in your mind, to anyone."
"I'm not worried about that, I trust you. And you've proved that already, you've known some of my secrets for weeks now." she trailed off, looking pensive for a moment. "I just wanted to say that even if we never manage to create the potion, I am very grateful that I got to experience legilimency in this form, it felt amazing," she continued quietly.
"Well, you're in luck because I will be doing it repeatedly over the next couple of days or weeks, until you get sick and tired of it," Snape replied dryly, his voice laced with amusement.
Hermione just rolled her eyes at him and took another sip of her coffee.
If you have any thoughts on the legilimency part I'd be glad to hear them, I was slightly unsure of how to write that part. Whilst it was always described as quite uncomfortable when Snape invaded Harry's mind in the books, it didn't make sense to me when it was between two people who trusted each other. And I figured that it must feel strangely intimate, someone is in the other person's mind, after all.
