Dear

by Death by manga

An exchange of letters between Naruto and Sasuke. Mostly wholesome with some sex humor thrown in now and then. There will be some journal entries written as well now and then but we aren't sure how often those will come. This is a collab between Dana-Eliza and myself. I'm writing Naruto's perspective and Dana-Eliza is writing Sasuke's.

11. Dear Naruto 6

Dear Naruto,

I had been wondering when I would hear from you again. In the mean time I have been traveling around with Orochimaru as well. Apparently searching for a new place to set up a base. And I think it wasn't cheated out, but more cheated on, Naruto. Jiraiya doesn't seem like a very faithful guy, but that could just be me and Orochimaru and all the women in a town we just passed through. And it's incognito, dobe. Seriously, did you look for that dictionary already? Wait, I have a better idea. I'll attach a dictionary to this letter and have my snake hand it over to you. Sorry if it comes out a bit slimy. He had to swallow it. And I have underlined the words you should really learn to remember.

You can't miss me, Naruto. We have not seen each other in a long time and we were rivals. Rivals do not miss each other that much. Not to mention you and your dumb brain are madly in love with Sakura, so you should be missing her more than me in the first place. I understand the feeling. It's how I feel when girls all over me. But apparently you shouldn't hit girls in situations like those. Very annoying... If I may give you a tip, it helps to eat stinky food, like garlic. Keeps the people away, all the people.

Dobe, why are you letting girls braid you hair and take you shopping? Aren't you a guy? Grow some balls, man. Before you know it people won't even see the difference between the real you and your sexy jutsu, except for the fact that in one of those cases you will be covered. Long hair does sound nice though, but it's such a bother to maintain. And can we not talk about girls bleeding? I was aware of this fact, but didn't find it necessary to actually learn about. And what Jiraiya was talking about is not what causes death, but I can imagine he would be struggling with it sometimes. Tell him to keep it in his pants before he catches more diseases and please do not follow in his footsteps.

I don't really understand your dream... Sounds way too vague, but maybe that's nice. Must be better than dreaming of your brother killing your family, which is what I do every night. Would be a nice change to see the ninetails show up sometime.

Yours truly,

The much manlier Sasuke Uchiha