I woke up the next day with a hang over, which only got worse when I woke up seeing Kirk hovering over me with a scowl and equally bad news. I didn't speak, for fear of exploding, until after I cleaned up, ate some food, and went to a secluded area to stomp around then coming back and facing the situation like an adult--I can do that sometimes.

"So while they sort things out with Starfleet up top we're going to do what down here?" I asked over my shoulder while I continued to stare up at the sunset colored sky. "Alone, with no one else, just the two of us, you and me-"

"I understood you the first time, Ms. Jones."

I turned and faced Kirk, my hands on my hips, "Seriously, Kirk, why are we the only ones down here?"

"I believe that we will need some privacy in order to work out whatever it is that causes us to continually dislike one another," Kirk took a deep breath and let it out slowly, "Forgive me if you would prefer an audience for whatever it is we need to do in order to switch back."

I growled to myself as I sat down across the fire from him. I hated it when he was right, because that usually meant I was wrong, and I disliked being wrong about as much as I disliked him being right. Maybe what Spock said had some merit and that was why I was always so bitchy around Jim. I personally also had the stange feeling in my stomach that perhaps there was more about him that reminded me of James than I liked.

"Miss Jones?"

I snapped out of my idle thoughts with a physical jerk of my head, "What?"

"I was wondering what caused you to grimace like that."

Whoops, didn't mean to grimace in thought. "I'm sorry Kirk I-"

"James."

I tipped my head to the side, "Pardon?"

"While we are alone," Kirk leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees as he peered across the fire at me, "and after what's happened, you may call me James."

Shit. Now the similarities were going to drive me bonkers. Perhaps...well perhaps I should just be honest with him.

"Oookay," I took a deep breath and slowly let it out, "JAMES." So maybe I put too much emphasis on his name because he's definitely amused now. "Now you have to call me Brenna, it's only fair." Wow, that sounded elementary.

Kirk, er James, smiled and nodded, "All right, Brenna, what is it about me that has you up in arms every time we cross paths?"

"Oh that's a long list are you sure we have enough time?" I made a show of looking for a watch that wasn't on my wrist and I stopped when I heard him groan. "Sorry, my natural reaction to you seems to be sarcasm."

"Why?"

I crossed my ankles and leaned forward, looking at the fire instead of him, "Are you sure you want to know everything that goes on inside my head when it comes to you? I warn you it will more than likely offend and possible chip at that ego of yours. Not to mention embarrass me and make it even more awkward between us."

"Brenna." He waited until I looked at him before he continued. "I don't know if it can get more awkward than this." He pointed to himself, in my body, and then to me, in his body.

"Good point." I tipped my imaginary hat to him before settling back down again. "You have to understand that I'm reacting to you with knowledge of your history, your present, and your future. I know of all the women you've been with, will be with, and so on and so forth. I-"

"That's what this is about?" James interrupted me. "Women? You're jealous of the women of my past and future?"

I crossed my eyes at him, "If you'd let me finish, James DEAR, you wouldn't be so confused."

He nodded and crossed his arms, waiting for me to continue.

"I also know your inner strengths and weaknesses. I know so much about you, from a third person point of view. I'm so used to seeing you in action that I've never stopped to think about what you're actually feeling when you do something. I've seen you seduce women left and right, double-cross and back stab others in order to save your crew. I never once thought about what you were saying to yourself inside. I saw your physical reaction to situations but I was never inside you. I know that, and that is something I realized not too long ago." I sighed and scratched the tip of my nose. "I'm so used to seeing you as the arrogant, ship obsessed, womanizing, stubborn, unpredictable, cocksure captain that I guess I never stopped to think of you as a man. Even when I read or watched or listened to the 'tender' moments you shared with women I just wrote it off as another notch in your bedpost and nothing more, same goes for the touching moments with friends. I never thought you were capable of more than that. I always felt that all you could offer anyone was a brief and torrent love affair before you zoomed off on another mission."

I stopped then, needing air, but also needing to gather my thoughts again. Funny how all these thoughts were formulating and making sense as I spoke them. Isn't it always like that though? You never truly realize what the hell is going on inside you until it comes down to the moment of confession then it suddenly clears up and makes sense. Or it just gets more confused. But right now, it's the former and not the latter.

"So what are you saying, Brenna?" His voice again brought me back from my thoughts.

I shrugged, "I guess I'm saying that I'm going to have to learn to see you as a man. I'm going to have to get to you know the man underneath the womanizing, cocksure, ship obsessed-"

"Can we forego with the name calling?"

I grinned, "Even if the names do have merit in a lot of situations?"

He looked like he was about to come up with some harsh retort but stopped, sighed, then nodded, "I agree, those names all have merit at some point in time in my life thus far, and I'm sure they'll describe me once more later on in life. But you're hardly a picture of perfection, Miss Jones."

"I never said I was," I grinned at him, "I never had grandiose ideas of being perfect either. Unlike some people I'm acquainted with." He rolled his eyes at me and I smiled. "Actually..." I nibbled on my lower lip before continuing, "There is something else."

"You have more lists of my faults and rather odd reasons for not liking me?" His voice was tinted with amusement so I knew he wasn't angry.

"Not exactly. This is more personal for me, more from my point of view."

"That'll be a welcome change." He shifted across from me, leveling me with an intense gaze.

I closed my eyes and began my tale. "I was engaged once, to the only man I'd ever really loved. My parents having died while I was young and my rather odd brother raising me...well I guess psychologically it made me desperate for male affection or something. Why else would I have fallen in love with someone who was so capable of hurting me?" I sighed as I opened my eyes. "We were together for a long time before we got engaged. Around the time of our engagement a new coworker came to the office and she almost immediately attached herself to me." I noticed Kirk's face change and I'm sure he guessed where this was going. "You have to understand she's everything I'm not. Just like I don't have grandiose ideas of being perfect I know I'm not beauitful. I have good qualities but I'm not someone you'd immediately pick out in a crowd. This woman, however, is that sort of person. Looking back now I can't believe I didn't see the signs..." My voice died off as memories came flooding back.

"What happened?" His voice brought me back.

"She seduced him, they had an affair, he made an excuse to refit the engagement ring while in reality he was giving it to her before he even broke up with me. They've been engaged since before the two months we've been broken up." His mouth fell open in shock. "Believe me before Patricia came along I never would've guessed James had been capable of such manipulative deception. But, once she was there, things changed beyond repair. The day I disappeared from my time was actually the day after he told me of their engagement."

"His name was James?"

I nodded.

He whistled through his teeth. "Do I remind you of him beyond just my name then?"

I nodded again. "Not exactly the manipulative deceptive part, though you have your moments." He narrowed his eyes but I smiled in return. "Certain mannerisms, sometimes the things you say or the way you say them, I don't know just little things remind me of him. You seem to remind me of him more than anyone else has."

"So you've projected the pain you received from your old lover onto me?" I paused then nodded, a blush on my cheeks.

"I know it wasn't, isn't, mature or right but that's what seems to have happened."

James chuckled and I looked up to see him smiling slightly, "At least its a comfort to know that it isn't ALL me."

I shared in the chuckling for a moment before I sobered up once more.

"James?"

He tipped his head to the side when he heard me use his name, "Yes?"

"Do you think we could be friends of sorts? I mean I know we could never be like you and Mac or you and Spock, but the time I'm here do you think we could be friendly-ish?"

He was quiet a moment before he answered. "I can't promise you anything but I can tell you that I'll try." I nodded and we both shared a smile. "Now may I speak plainly?" I cringed but nodded after a moment. "You are also arrogant and cocksure, you are stubborn, and mischievous, and too damned curious for your own good. You get into everything and change all the rules. I swear if you were a world all the rules of gravity and motion would be the exact opposite."

I giggled, thankful that he'd changed the subject back to something a bit more light--even if it was insulting, "I'm going to take the latter as a compliment."

"Go ahead." He waved his hand in the air as if waving the comment to me. "I suppose all those qualities in you that rub me wrong are the exact same qualities that bother you in me," I held up my hand but he continued before I could interrupt, "Except for the womanizing I know." I nodded with a smile. "We are a lot a like in temperament, probably more alike than either of us would care to admit, but that shouldn't be a problem. So far away from home, for both of us," he gave me a sympathetic look before continuing, "You have no one in this universe and I was very cruel to remind you in such a way that I did. Other than the ship and my crew I'm alone as well."

I giggled again, "Well you're a couple hundred people and a starship ahead of me."

"Brenna," he sighed and looked to the fire then back at me, "you want me to be your friend. I want you to become a part of my crew. Not in the sense that you take orders from me, though we still have an understanding when it comes to orders." I nodded eagerly and he smiled in satisfaction. "But a part of the crew in the sense that you have a place where you are welcome and a place where you can belong. We both don't know how long you'll be here or if you'll ever return to your own time, so in the mean time, I want you to know that you are welcome on my ship and in my crew."

Darn he could be charming and sweet when he put his mind to it! I smiled and nodded, mumbling my thanks before poking a stick into the fire. We were camped out beside the platform and columns that had started this present mess and had decided to try to switch first thing in the morning. That gave us tonight to sort everything out. So far, I think we did a fine job of it.

"So will you still double talk me?" James questioned after a few moments of silence.

"Oh of course," I grinned, "no one else gives you a hard time so I have to make up for the lack."

James look shocked, "No one else-? Bones gives me plenty difficulty and Spock with him!" He sounded like a little kid and I just laughed at him.

He seemed to catch on and tossed a pebble at me, though I saw a smile on his face when he was trying to look offended. We continued to sit in silence, both staring at the fire, the stars, each other, and then starting the process over again.

"Are we going to talk about what happened this morning?" My voice was soft and reluctant and I looked up just in time to see Kirk stiffen and look up at the starry sky.

"Do you feel the need to talk about it? As I understand it you were in need and I helped you. You didn't know what to do, I wasn't being as helpful as I should've been, so I made myself more helpful than you expected."

His explanation made sense but there was the underlying tone of intimacy of the act that bugged me. I wanted to explain it away with logic, much like Spock always did, but I just couldn't. Sex isn't just sex with me. I may talk big, but when it comes down to it, intimacy is still intimacy no matter what universe you're in.

"Brenna?"

I looked up to see Kirk staring at me with a mixture of concern and dread, "Do we need to talk further about it or is everything in order?"

"Well," I took a deep breath and slowly let it out, "I just don't know what to think about it. After it happened I felt dirty, violated, angry, ashamed, confused, curious, basically a bit of everything in one instant."

He nodded, "I can understand that. I felt a little odd myself."

"So what does that mean? I mean where does that leave us?"

"Well we've spelled out the fact that we don't hate each other," I nodded and he smiled slightly before continuing, "we have admitted our own short comings," I eagerly nodded at this, "so what is left is how we view each other in regards to attraction."

Whoah boy! Crap, why did he have to be so logical about this? He was supposed to be the feeling one and not think logically. Blast it all!

"Brenna?"

I sighed, "Well, to be honest, I am attracted to you, there are times I'm tempted by you, I always admire your leadership abilities and certain strong characteristics that you have I find admirable and attractive as well. Of course there are the reminders of James aiding in that department as well." He nodded. "So in the end, I am vulnerable to you in that I'm attracted but I also know that that in and of itself is a whole can of beans that I really don't want to open. For one, I really don't think I'm your type. For two, I don't know how long I'll be here. For three, I don't think I just want to be another one of your women. And four...well after what I've been through I'm not really interested in being attracted to someone without assurances and control."

While I'd been speaking Kirk's face, well my face, had gone from surprised to confused to sympathetic--it was the sympathy that bugged me. I hate sympathy in regards to relationships--I've always gotten that.

"I wasn't expecting all that." He tipped his head to the side whilst raising his eyebrows to convey his surprise, "However I do appreciate your honesty and I'll repay in kind." I tensed, bracing myself. "It is true, you aren't my type." Thanks for not sugar coating it Kirk. "It's true that we both don't know how long you're going to be here and getting romantically involved with one another would not be a intelligent move on either of our parts, for more than that reason alone. I am similar in that I like to control and have assurances before entering into a relationship, though my assurances, at least in the past, are very simple." I could only assume so I nodded in understanding. "There are qualities about you that I find admirable and attractive as well and sometimes I feel a tenderness towards you that I don't exactly appreciate nor did I purposefully bring about, but it is there none the less."

I nodded. He fell silent. I was already silent. We stared at the fire.

Then I looked back up to him, "Have you said everything on your heart?" I asked him.

He paused, thinking no doubt, and then nodded. "You?"

I nodded, "I believe so. I don't hate you, I never have, but your attitude has annoyed me."

"Same here."

We shared a hesitant laugh.

"So do you think it's going to work tomorrow?" I couldn't help but ask, though I knew his guess was as good as mine.

James smiled, "I think it will."

"Good," I burrowed under my covers and settled in for the night, "Because I really don't like waking up to junior staring me in the face."

James groaned then chuckled as he too settled in for the night. I think it was easier for him to fall asleep than I because his breathing evened out long before I felt the tugs of sleep pulling on me. I seriously hoped it would work tomorrow, for numerous reasons, but one of the top was a good nights rest. Only time would tell if my hope would in fact become reality.