Imma on a roll! Or something! As you can clearly see, I am hopped on too much coffee! And I found out that max coffee is actually pretty shitty as far as coffee goes! My disappointment was immeasurable, and my day was ruined!
...Oh well, here goes another chapter! Hope you enjoy it!
And thus Zaimokuza's world ends, not with a bang but a whimper.
-If I were to slap a label on Zaimokuza's novel, it would be your typical run-of the mill high school power fantasy. You got your protagonist being the unlucky everydude who got himself tangled into a web of intrigues and plots, got caught in the crossfire of all the major powers and somehow not only survived but thriving likes a cockroach under a nuclear winter.
Basically, this is Zaimokuza's wish fulfillment.
If real life fulfilled every psychological need we human beings have, we probably would not want to write fiction at all. Human beings have needs, and some of these needs are psychological in nature. This is an undeniable fact. When a person's real life does not provide all of these psychological needs, they can turn to fiction in order to provide for these needs. By itself, it is neutral. Neither bad nor good. Acceptable as a healthy way for the human psyche to deal with dissatisfaction. There is nothing at all wrong with this, in and of itself.
Unless it makes one nut.
People sometimes identified too much with the characters they liked. They go around defending fictional characters as if they were real, because they are not defending the character but merely idealized versions of themselves and/or embodiment of their values seen in the character. An attack on the character is seen as an attack on traits they (the real person) personally possesses and/or admires. It is a sad thing, indeed.
Yet, it could be worse.
They could be, oh god forbid, writing shitty self-insert fanfic.
Still, nevertheless, it is a relatively healthy outlet, and with Zaimokuza being…well, Zaimokuza, this is certainly better than other outlets, given everything I known of his characters.
With that in mind, I entered the special building quietly, certainly mindful of the napping Yukinoshita, and set up my shop quietly.
Everyone looks peaceful when they sleep, and so do our resident little kitten. Her almost-smiling face was a far cry from her usual stern, sharp, try-hard demeanor. It is pretty hard to stop myself from poking her in the cheek, pat her head or scratch her nape, seeing her like this.
…Shoud I do it?
"Yahallooo!" …Just as I was deciding on the pro-and-con of petting Yukinoshita, Yuigahama made her entrance and barged right in like a banshee out of hell, startling both me and Yukinoshita, who woke up banging her head into the table and bounce right up.
It took me an immersive amount of effort to not laugh at her sleepy, abashed face.
"Hello, Yuigahama-san." Yukinoshita mumbled as she let out a kitty-like yawn and stretched grandly, extending both her hands above her head. Cute.
"…And Hikigaya?"
"Yeah?"
"One look at your face woke me right up." Not cute.
"And here I was thinking of sharing you some of my coffee since you looked like you also had it pretty rough last night…"
"No thanks, I am allergic to canned coffee-flavored syrup." Yukinoshita sneered.
Did she just trash-talk my coffee?
…Unacceptable.
"Listen up and listen well: this bad boi here- "I pulled out the vacuum insulated thermos "-is the real deal, lassie." Without any further ado, I uncap the thermos and started pouring the golden-brown liquid inside into a paper cup. "Extra dark roasted Robusta, coarse ground, filter-dripped into perfection mixed with creamy sweetened condensed milk. Here, try it. I insist." I put the almost filled cup in front of Yukinoshita and turn toward Yuigahama. "Oi, you want some too?"
"H-huh? Uhm, if you please…" Not even waiting for her to finish, I pull out another cup and started pouring in the pleasantly warm, brown-colored little slice of heaven before handing it to Yui, who just smiled bashfully as she took the warm cup in her hand, mumbling something under her breath. Probably a thank you or some sort, I don't know.
Nor care.
"So, Yukinoshita, ready to eat your words back yet?" I snickered.
"This coffee…isn't bad." Yukinoshita said between sips. "It feels like a punch to the face at first: shockingly sweet and strong, mellows down into a rich, full-bodied aftertaste. The heavy contrasts between the bitter coffee and the sweetened milk, the bittersweet and…robust, yet smooth mouthfeel it gives isn't as unpleasant as I expected." Yukinoshita paused and sighed. "No matter how I dislike saying this to you of all people, it seemed like I was…wrong."
"Mhm-hmh." I smiled triumphantly as I turn toward Yui, who is sipping on the coffee as she flips through the manuscript at an insane pace.
…She probably didn't read it at all, like how it originally happened.
"So, how is it?"
"Pretty bad!" …Huh?
"R-really?"
"Yup, this novel is like, really boring! And it is so long!" Yuigahama whined and shattered my worries in one fell swoop.
"…Well, I was asking about the coffee." Don't think I didn't hear your snickers, Yukinoshita. There will be payback!
"Oh?" Bitch please.
"Oh." Bitch pleaseeeeee.
"Well, mhmmmmmmmm…It is good!"
"…Okay." A very Yui-like answer, as expected.
"I didn't know you were that starved for faint praises, Hikigaya-kun. How fitting of your characters."
"Hush, you!" I sneered and served myself a shot of coffee, then down it in one gulp. So good…
Just as I was pouring in another shot, I heard a gruff knock on the clubroom door.
"This one begs your pardon…"
Zaimokuza once again spoke in an archaic fashion and entered into the room.
"Oi, want some coffee?!" I yelled to him.
"Thank you, dearest companion, but I had had my fill." Translation: I drank too much cheap coke, and I don't want to bust my bladder drinking more stuff.
"Okay, more for me I guess." I gulp down the second shot and drag myself back to the usual spot, my heartbeats going a bit faster than usual from all the caffeine and sugar overload.
"Well thhen, let's get this shitshow going. You first, Yukinoshita?"
"…Very well."
Zaimokuza docked himself into a chair opposite of Yukinoshita and crossed his arms arrogantly. There was a sense of superiority coming from God-knows-where on his face. It was an expression overflowing with confidence. Misplaced confidence, to be exact, seeing how Yukinoshita, sitting across from him, looked unusually apologetic.
"I'm sorry. I don't really understand these kinds of things too well, but…"
Yukinoshita started off with that, but Zaimokuza responded completely calmly.
"I don't mind. Even ones such as I occasionally wish to hear the opinions of the common folk. Speak your mind." Oh bois.
"I see." Yukinoshita responded curtly and took a deep breath. Here comes the pain train!
"It was boring. In fact, it was almost painful to read. It was boring beyond imagination." Bomb dropped! Absolutely no holding back!
"Oofgh!" Zaimokuza, as expected, was cut down in a single stroke!
His chair rattled as he rocked backwards in it, but Zaimokuza managed to find his balance and sit upright again.
"H-hmm… Well then, for future reference, would you kindly inform me: which parts of the work were boring?"
Suddenly, Yukinoshita turned and looked me in the eyes.
Somehow, in just 5 seconds, without even a word exchanged, we both came to an understanding.
The matter is settled.
I gave her a light nod, and she, in turn, nodded back at me and turned toward Zaimokuza, a pleasant smile on her face.
"Everything."