CHAPTER XI

Some Things We Don't Talk About

Should've kissed you there

I should've held your face

I should've watched those eyes

Instead of run in place

I should've called you out

I should've said your name

I should've turned around

I should've looked again

It was eight am.

Tk and Kari were in the dining room having breakfast before going to work. They were already finishing up when Tk noticed how much the brunette ate that morning. She finished before the blonde did which was unusual, and yet she had a tremendous amount of food on her plate. Still, she looked in the fridge for any more food to bring to work. Scanning the fridge, she leaned her torso forward in search for something good to bring.

Finishing his glass of water, he said, "You eat like a pig today." He walked over behind her leaning figure, just behind her perfectly carved ass and slid his hands on her waist, attempting to hug her from behind.

"Whatever Tk." She straightened her posture and turned to face him, with an arched eyebrow.

"You know, I've noticed.. You never cursed or swore at me anymore lately," he pulled her towards him, holding her ass.

"I'm trying out this new thing called 'being nice'. You should try it more often," she wandered her hands from his chest, up to touch his chin and pecked a kiss on his jaw.

"So if you're not done teasing me, hurry up coz I'm gonna be late for work," she untangled herself from him and walked away to grab her bag on the table. "C'mon, chop chop!"

He smirked at how humorous she could get. "Yes ma'am."

Outside the house, she walked to the passenger's seat of his car and opened the door. He followed and sat behind the steering wheel and threw his sports bag at the backseat.

He drove her to work, which apparently became a habit since that day the paparazzi started an attack on her. He used to abhor the idea when she starts forcing him to drive her and threatening him to tell the press what a bad boyfriend he was. And through those rides they had, he never missed a single moment of enjoyment as he continued insulting or pissing her off.

Today, today was different. Like it has been two months ago when they started fooling around, laughing, making out, having fun. They were happy with each other's company and truthfully, it's a great improvement ever since day 1 when they were trying to strangle each other to death.

"I'm still horny," she said out of a sudden.

"Wow, that was blunt," he laughed looking straight on the road.

"And is your AC even working? It's hot in here," she complained tying her hair and unbuttoning the first two buttons of her top.

"Okaaay," he said surprisingly. "I see where this is going." He smirked still driving.

"Oh really? You do?" she looked at him with a grin on her face.

"You're technically stripping in my car."

"I know. It doesn't always happen, does it?"

He let out a snort, and this time he looked at her, and her exposed chest, smiled and turned his attention to the street.

"Wow. The street is actually more seductive than me," she exclaimed jokingly.

"I didn't mean to hurt your ego baby. But if we end up dead in the middle of the street naked, I won't be able to forgive myself."

He parked the car just beside the main entrance of her office, then he leaned to her with his usual sexy smirk.

"See-you-later kiss?" he smiled.

"Yeah, see you later," she mocked and got out of the car.

"Aw, c'mon! You still turn me on!" he shouted from the car window.

"I know!" She grinned and put her hand up as she turned her back and walked away.

He just smiled to himself and drove to the opposite direction.

She smiled too, unable to contain her enthusiasm and surprisingly, the happiness he makes her feel. Those involuntary smiles she does while thinking of him… it was kinda driving her crazy. Stupid Takaishi.

On the way up to her office, she felt that pain in her stomach again. That weird feeling that made her think of vomiting, as if she ate something nasty. And then she started to get pale.

"Good morning K," Sora greeted while the brunette was hurrying her way to her cubicle.

"Hi," she greeted back in haste and brisk walked to the toilet leaving Sora with a questioning look on her face.

But oh, I'm staring at the mess I made

I'm staring at the mess I made

I'm staring at the mess I made

As you turn, you take your heart and walk away

During lunch break, Kari, Sora, Mimi and Zoe huddled together on the same table talking about the release of their December issue of the magazine.

"I can't believe we're already trying to get ready for the winter fashion show. We just had fall like last month!" complained Mimi.

"I know right. I haven't even finished that article about Tk," said Kari.

"Oh yeah. I thought you were supposed to turn it in before the October issue's released," Zoe commented.

"I talked to Yuri to move it up to December. Mainly coz I'm not done with it yet coz it's been really hard to focus. Plus I told her it'd be better since championship would be on that month. SO I guess it's more relevant that way."

"Hmm. Good point. And why is it so hard to focus? It's not like you've got two jobs at the same time," laughed Zoe. "All I see lately in the tabs is you and Tk spotted almost anywhere in Tokyo. What's up with that?"

"Ugh I know. I don't understand these people, making a big fuss about small things," Kari took a bite of her ravioli.

"Were you with him that time when you took a day off?" Sora asked in a teasing manner.

"Yeah," she replied with a curious tone.

"I was walking to work one time and I saw a photo of you in the newspaper being carried bridal style by Tk is some sort of forest. What were you even doing there?" Mimi laughed.

"He took me out to this meadow place on top of a hill okay," she bit her lip, struggling to contain her smile, as the thoughts of that moment rushed back in her memory. "We talked and stuff. Coz we never really, you know, talk.. talk."

"Wow, you're always together in that mansion of his and you never talk? Or you just do each other all the time?" Zoe joked and everybody laughed except Kari, who was as red as a tomato, looking down at her food.

"OMG. You guys totally did it!" Mimi squealed excitedly. "And you never told us?"

"Oh my freakin' gosh Kari! How was it?" interrupted Zoe immediately. "I bet it was good."

She was so surprised by all their reactions and said, "It was amazing."

And all the other girls squealed. "You guys are so crazy," laughed Kari and was about to finish the last bite of her ravioli when the pain in her stomach kicked in again, making her cringe and her head throbbed like hell.

"Are you okay?" Sora asked. "You look like you're in pain."

"I'm fine. I just need to go to the bathroom." She excused herself leaving the four girls to finish their lunch.

"She's been acting like she's in a lot of pain lately. Have you ever noticed that?" the blonde said.

"Come to think of it, I did notice it the day before yesterday. And yesterday," Mimi shared.

"And this morning too," Sora added. The girls shared worried looks at the thought of what might be the reason.

A few minutes later, the brunette came back with a smile on her face.

"Sorry about that. Must be the food."

The girls looked knowingly at each other and Sora started asking her questions.

"Has this happened before Kari? Coz we noticed it lately.. you being in pain."

"Yeah, a few times. But the first time happened probably coz I had a hangover."

"How about this morning? Or just now? I think you should go see a doctor," Mimi suggested.

"You guys.. Don't worry, I'm fine," she laughed. "I'm totally okay now."

"Yeah, but just to make sure. It's hard to get sick nowadays you know," Zoe interjected

"Guys, seriously, I'm fine. It just happened a few days and it'll go away."

"Kari," Sora started. "We still think you should go see a doctor… or do a test. Coz we think you're pregnant."

Her friend's words shot her like electricity that the trembling sensation ran down to her spine and nerves. That was so… ridiculous. It couldn't be possible. That was the last thing that could ever cross her mind because for her, it was plain preposterous.

"What? That's.. that's insane! It's absurd you guys!"

"Why? It's possible Kari. You've been having sex with him god knows how many times," Zoe explained.

"And honey, it only takes once. So I think it's better you make sure."

"No. That can't be possible. I have a job to focus on! I'm twenty three for god's sake! I can't take care of a child!" She rambled on before she could regain control. "You know what, this isn't happening because I don't believe it."

She stood up and excused herself from her friends and went back to her workspace inside the building.

Her friends' opinion scared her in so many ways that it only made her apprehensive. Once she came back to her table, she noticed a ticket on top of piles of paper. She forgot, Tk had a game today and she was supposed to watch it in the VIP area. But she lost all interest now. Now that her friends put all these predictions in her head.

After work, as she walked down the street to hail a cab, she passed by a drug store and for a split of a second, remembered what the girls told her earlier. Was it worth a try? Yes, she knew the answer was yes, but just the thought of it being real was enough to scare her shitless. Things like these weren't the type that could just come and go. They're permanent and they could change your life forever. And she knows she wasn't ready to take a big leap in her life. This kind of situation makes you think you're going from your early twenties to motherhood. She had plans. And she laid them out step by step. But what the hell.

She decided to go inside the drugstore and purchased all the kinds of pregnancy test she could find. She hurriedly put them inside her purse before anyone she knew could see her.

By the time she got home, she hurriedly ran to her bathroom and took all three pregnancy test strips. She took a sample of her urine and waited, her heart thrashing insanely against her ribcage that she couldn't bear it anymore. After the designated waiting time, she checked her results.

Positive.

The little plus sign was marked and she froze in place and tried to take in what she saw. She desperately checked the box, hoping that the plus sign meant congratulations for not being pregnant. But all hopes sank when she read the results.

Tears streamed down her cheeks as she angrily grabbed the other tester and did the same thing. After waiting for the results, the tester showed a smiling face, mockingly saying she was indeed pregnant.

Tears turned into sobbed, as she tried to breathe normally. She couldn't take it. The sounds of her crying was the only thing she could hear for the moment and it made her dizzy. The thoughts of being pregnant suffocated her that it took all of her strength just to stay up standing.

Holding on to the edge of the sink, she looked at the mirror and saw how puffy and red her eyes were.

Every bit of emotion swirled within her – fear, anger, disappointment, regret. It was too soon. She felt coldness and fright, anxiety and sorrow. She couldn't accept the truth. What would this do to her career? To her plans? What would her mom think? What would Tk think? She feared what everybody would think, especially Tk because it wasn't only her life that was on the line, it was his too. And she didn't know if she can do this to him.

Trying to wipe her tears, she gathered all the strength left in her to take that one last pregnancy test, her one last chance to confirm it was all real. She took the test again and waited. This time, the color blue was marked. Confirmed. Affirmative.

Yes, she was carrying a child in her. A human being.

And the thought of it made her knees go weak and her whole body unresponsive. She melted down on the floor, gripped the bathroom door for support and leaned her back against the cabinet. And she cried. Because for the first time in her life, she didn't damn know what to do.

Should've held my ground

I could've been redeemed

For every second chance

That changed its mind on me,

I should've spoken up

I should've proudly claimed

That oh my head's to blame

For all my hearts mistakes

It was late, or maybe early for this matter. It was 3 am and she couldn't sleep. She was staring at the Tokyo lights from the balcony in her black cami and short shorts with the chilly night wind brushing against her skin, and yet she couldn't feel anything. When the truth sank into her thought, she didn't know what to feel anymore. She didn't even know how to tell it to Tk, who one way or another is bound to find out. All these thinking and feeling a myriad of emotions was so overwhelming that she just sat there, gazing blankly at anything because it was all to energy-consuming to think and feel.

Consequently, Tk's car just came in the driveway which made her snap from her absence of sensibility. Her heart pounded insanely, afraid to look at him now, let alone tell him what she just discovered.

He slammed the car door and in a while, she heard his footsteps come up the stairs. He was about to walk in his room when he saw her figure, that side of her face that glowed against the moonlight, watching the night with not a hint of interest. Her hazel colored eyes glistening, staring far away into the lights, a picturesque of something so serene and peaceful that he just wanted to look at her just like that. And it made him smile, with only the sight of this beautifully crazy brunette girl, who surprisingly made sparks in his rich, dull life. The touch of madness she brought to his typical ordinary routines gave him something to look forward to everyday. Because there's something in her that made him realize that a little bit of insanity is what keeps the mind and heart at its best.

"Hey," he spoke quietly, walking to where she was. "Why aren't you sleeping?"

"I can't sleep," she answered in a whisper as she turned to face him with a half smile.

"Well I've got good news," he pulled her form her seat and sat down on the couch, placing her on top of his lap. He wrapped his arms around her and intertwined his fingers with her. "We won the game today."

She forced a smile and said "congratulations."

"That's why I cam home late. The guys celebrated at the bar. Sorry for leaving you here alone," he apologized and kissed her neck. It left hot marks on her skin and although she ached to touch him too and feel him against her, she couldn't help but feel guilty.

She tried so hard not to make her voice crack. "That's fine. It's good that you're out having fun."

"Guess what?" he said as he trailed kisses on her bare shoulders. "I was asked to endorse Nike and I immediately said yes. I'm flying to Boston tomorrow."

"Wow," this time, she really sounded surprised. And more guilty. He was showering her with good news that if she'd tell him hers, it'd be like dropping an atomic bomb on the happiest place on earth. "That's amazing! You're such a lucky guy.. and.."

"And?"

"I'm proud of you," she stared at him, at his ocean blue eyes and thought to herself that this man has everything in the world that he could ask for.. and here she was, trying to crush his dreams and everything he built up with a baby. He was almost at the peak of his career, and he could see how happy he was that it tortured her that she was going to be the one to tear it apart.

Guess all those sick little games of revenge backfired. Yes she knew she was at the point of bringing him down, that was the plan but she wasn't prepared to fall in her own trap with him. She didn't want this for her, or him. Not when she knows he's the father of her child, the guy who'd do anything for something that was so important to him, the guy who at some point, made her feel like the luckiest woman alive.

Because that wasn't the plan.

Because she wasn't suppose to fall for him the way she did at this very moment.

How his eyes held her gaze made her lose focus, and her heart never beat wildly as he inched his face closer to hers.

It was crazy. They did it thousand of times but the way he closed the tiniest of space between them made her breathing uneven and her heart thrash fiercely out of control.

And as his lips pressed against hers softly, she knew nobody could ever make her feel completely and undeniably happy the way he did. She kissed him back enthusiastically - with want and need - in a way that such kiss was fueled with remorse, self-condemnation and a guilty conscience.

She wanted this, she wanted him, but the way she brushed her lips against his told her that it was all for the wrong reasons. She knows what she feels.. but does she really?

The only thing she's sure of for now is that this guy she's kissing is the best thing that ever happened to her. From that moment he held her in his embrace, she knew she never wanted to let go. For a long time, she never felt safe and cared for than right now.

His lips moved away from her lips and trailed down to her jaw, neck and shoulders. She held him by his neck as she pulled him back to kiss her lips again.

Now, all thoughts flickered back like a series of flashing images. The time he picked her at the airport, the endless fights and arguments, that Tokyo tour with their parents, the countless times they kissed, the chase with the paparazzi, the afternoon in the meadow, the mornings when she woke up beside him in bed. Everything.

Even if some of them made her hate him to his guts, she never felt such an intense emotion towards anyone else. And those moments made her see that whatever the situation is, he's always there… even in the worst and best of times.

And now that she's having his baby, she couldn't feel more treacherous. Because she knows that this wasn't the right time, that this would make him devastated more than anything.

All the feeling of guilt came flooding back again that it made her pull away from him instantly, and without warning, tears came streaming down her face. Her chest tightened and the pain in the pits of her stomach made her cross her arms against it. She was trying to ease the pain that she inflicted on herself.

"Hey, what's wrong? Are you okay? Did I do something to hurt you?" he asked with much concern, confused of what has driven her to tears.

She hid her face and tried to suck in the sobs and pain in her chest. The confusion she felt right now was too much to bear and she was never the kind of person to break down in front of anybody. Because she suppressed all those emotions inside her so no one can ever hurt her. But the only one trying to cause her pain right now was herself.

"I'm sorry.. It's not you. It's me. I'm just…," she wiped her tears away. "I can't believe I'm crying right now, this is so stupid."

She couldn't look at him in embarrassment, and he didn't make it easy for her by softly tucking her hair behind her ears and tilting up her chin so he could look at her.

"It's just I'm so confused with everything and I couldn't take it anymore.."

"What? What is it?" he asked gently with so much concern etched in his face. He held her face and rubbed his thumb softly against her cheek.

"I need to tell you something." Her heart was hammering so hard and she fought so hard just to breathe because she never said this ever in her entire life and it scared her more than she could even imagine. Her hands were shaking and Tk had to hold it firmly in his with his thumb rubbing her hands so she could relax.

"Relax, I can take it."

She took a deep breath and looked directly in his eyes. Moments like this were the ones that could change one's life and it scared her to even say it out loud.

"Tk, I…"

Cancercute ©opyright

[AUTHOR's NOTE]

Date Posted: o5.22.12

Cliffhanger! Lol. Yeah, I know this chapter is short. I just had to allot a chapter for this kind of event. So I uploaded this chapter just before my flight to Greece. Yes, I'm gonna see Santorini for my vacation! I'm hoping you send in those reviews and keep on lovin' Tk and Kari. See you on the next chapter!

Song: The Mess I Made by Parachute