Chapter 11: Victims And Noxians
Riven spotted Draven at the same time as Irelia. The Ionian frowned. "Hey, isn't that Darius?" She stabbed a fork into a vegetable. "Hate that guy."
Riven forced out a laugh. "That's Draven, Darius's brother. Although he's more annoying." She shivered, recalling the time when she'd had to pretend to be a guy to lure him out. 'Good thing I'm not a guy right n- OH SHIT!'
She was a guy right now.
"I uh, have to use the washroom. I'll be right back!" Riven got up from the table and made a beeline for the restrooms… Where she ran into another dilemma.
'Do I use the male washroom or the female washroom?!'
Seeing that she currently looked like a guy, the Exile pushed open the door to the mens washroom. And then realized that she couldn't actually use the urinals in it.
'...I'm not actually a guy… Ok, I'll just wash my hands then!'
As the disguised female turned the tap on, hoping that no one came in, the door swung open. She froze, praying that it wasn't Draven…
Sneaking a peek into the mirror, she saw that it wasn't Draven. It was…
Xin Zhao?
The Seneschal of Demacia didn't seem to notice her; he was preoccupied with a neon pink bag, rummaging through the contents and muttering to himself. "Princess Snugglebums, General Fluffy, or Major Snuffles? Or does he like Princess Fuzzypaws… I know that Garen is getting him Blossomhorn…"
"..."
'I think I should go now...' Riven thought. Just as she reached the door, Xin Zhao snapped his head up and looked at her. "'Scuse me, may I ask a favour of you?"
"Err… Sure?" Riven said, cautiously walking over to Xin Zhao. The Demacian looked relieved. "Can you help me pick one of these out?"
The bag held stuffed plushies of various poro's. He looked slightly embarrassed to be in possession of these.
"What do you need these for?" The Exile asked, utterly confused. The Seneschal picked up General Fluffy. "My liege is throwing a party today, and he has been dying to add these limited edition, talking poro's to his collection! I know that Garen is getting him Blossomhorn, so which should I give?" He squeezed Princess Snugglebums to demonstrate her talking ability. "My knight! You have returned to me!"
His liege? Jarvan IV? Oh jeez...
"..."
"..."
"Can't you just give him all of them?"
Xin Zhao let out a huge breath. "That's a great idea! Thank you, er…"
"Riley." She said automatically.
"Thank you, Riley!" Xin Zhao beamed. "I owe you one! And please don't tell anyone!"
He rushed out of the restroom, the pink bag hidden behind his broad back.
'Well that was weird.' Riven thought, heading after him.
Draven was nowhere in sight when Riven walked back to her table. Irelia looked up at her. "Do you know Draven? Like, personally?"
The Exile was confused. "No, why?"
"He came up to me and asked if I knew you; or more accurately, asked about a 'usurper'? And then he gave me his autograph…" The Will of Blades held up a piece of paper with Draven's picture on it and a line on the bottom that read, 'You'll never be as awesome as me, but you can hope!'
Riven almost gagged.
A couple tables away…
"Hey, isn't that my brother?" Lux wondered out loud, glancing at the corner table. Sure enough, her Garen was sitting with Jarvan IV and Xin Zhao. The three seemed excited over something, and Jarvan kept polishing his commando shades. And blushing.
The Lady of Luminosity got up, quickly looking over at Leona and Ashe. The Frost Archer had managed to distract the other woman, and Lux snuck behind her brother.
"Hi."
Garen jumped, and then laughed. "Luxanna! Don't scare me like that! I thought-"
"That I was Katarina?" The mage smirked, crossing her arms and sticking her tongue out. Garen raised an eyebrow. "No, I thought that you were the waiter. Or waitress… The food still hasn't arrived yet!"
Jarvan cleared his throat, discreetly shoving something underneath his seat. "Lady Luxanna, you have finally decided to grace us with your presence."
Lux was confused with his wording. "What do you mean? I saw you last week, before Snowdown break!"
The Exemplar of Demacia sighed. "Why does everyone forget?!"
Xin Zhao patted his back. "It's alright, Jarvan. We didn't forget!" He smiled, motioning to himself and Garen, who was looking around the restaurant, glaring at other peoples food.
Jarvan nodded. "Yeah. But if you didn't come here for my birthday, Lux, what are you doing here?"
Lux frowned. "Your… Birthday? But…" The mage whipped out her baton and summoned her calendar. Her eyes roved down and she froze.
Underneath the huge block letters that reminded her about season 3 of The Tales of the Poro King, was a reminder. 'Jarvan's b-day tomorrow! DON'T FORGET!'
Looks like she'd been too pre-occupied with the first announcement; and somehow decided to not put the reminder on the actual day of his birthday.
"Ahh… I did have it written down…" Lux muttered sheepishly. Jarvan stood up and looked over Lux's shoulder at her calendar. His eyes widened and his jaw dropped. "SEASON 3 STARTED ALREADY?! I THOUGHT THAT WAS NEXT WEEK!" He yelled, much to the annoyance of the other patrons. Ashe and Leona glanced over briefly, Riven and Irelia both raised an eyebrow, and Xin Zhao fingered the pink bag that he had yet to give his liege.
"You… You watch it too?!" Lux gasped, turning to her prince in astonishment.
It was going to be an interesting evening.
Back to Riven…
"What was that all about?" Irelia wondered, sneaking another glance at Jarvan IV. "I've never seen Jarvan that excited about… Anything!"
Riven laughed. "Tell me about it! He actually looked mad when he got a pentakill in that Demacia vs. Bandle City match 2 weeks ago!"
Irelia looked confused. "Wait, how do you know about that?"
'Oops...' Riven thought. "Er… It was broadcasted…"
The Will of Blades still looked suspicious. "It was?"
It wasn't, and Riven knew that. She'd been in the game, after all. As a substitution for Bandle City. One of Teemo's mushrooms had taken out half of his Yordle buddies earlier that day, while he'd been practicing.
Ah, memories.
"It wasn't a live broadcast." Riven fibbed. Irelia looked like she was about to argue, but then the expression on the Ionian's face changed. "Riley?" She whispered, gaze fixed on something over Riven's shoulder.
"Yeah?" She replied, turning around. "What's the- HI?"
Oh boy.
"Hello, usurper." Draven replied cooly. "Goodbye, usurper."
Back to Ashe and Leona…
Ashe saw Draven walk behind Riven; and boy, did he look angry! And kind of excited. But mostly angry- oh, wait, now he looks excited.
"Shit!" Ashe muttered. Leona frowned. "What's up with Draven?"
And then she put it together.
Draven's angry look. The familiar white-haired guy.
The blind date.
A crystallized arrow soared across the restaurant and exploded upon impact against Draven, freezing the executioner in place with one hand inches away from Riven, who looked shocked. Her eyes met with Ashe's.
"RUN, RILEY!" The Queen screeched, cursing as she waited for enough magic to return to fire another arrow. Draven was starting to thaw already.
Riven quickly got out of her seat, flung down some money on the table while apologizing to a flabbergasted Irelia, and sprinted out of the restaurant.
She didn't make it far.
Darius walked back into the establishment, Riven hanging by her collar.
The waiters, seeing that there were champions in the restaurant; angry champions in the restaurant, quickly started evacuating the patrons out through the staff doors. They had some difficulty, as one old man refused to leave the restaurant without his daughter. When the waiters told him that there were no other girls in the restaurant (apart from the champions), he started jumping up and down like a 2-year old. Finally, one of the waiters had to go back to his table to look for his daughter; he came back with a rubber duck. The old man took it and contentedly walked out the door, stroking its rubber plumage and muttering, "You're safe now, Isabella. Come, let us go find your sisters!"
In the chaos, Lux finally realized what was going on, at the same time as Xin Zhao, Garen, and Jarvan IV.
"HEY! Put the man down, Darius!" Xin Zhao brandished his spear at the Noxian. "No one harms my friends!"
The Exile rolled her eyes. All it took was one bathroom excursion to be his friend?
Darius smirked. "Gladly."
He flung Riven across the room, and she smashed into a potted plant with a loud CRASH!
As the Hand of Noxus tried to run to his brothers aid, he was stopped in his tracks by a cage of light. Draven was trapped too, and he did not look happy about that.
Irelia had gotten out of her seat and run over to Ashe. "Ok, I don't know what the fuck is happening, all I know is that my date just got flung into a wall by Darius and that his brother was trying to kill him. SO WHAT IS HAPPENING?!" Irelia grabbed Ashe by the shoulders and shook her.
Leona stepped in, pushing the Will of Blades off of Ashe. The Frost Archer staggered a few steps. "Ok, I'll tell you later!" She panted. " But right now we need to help Riv- I mean, Riley, and get rid of Darius and Draven!"
Lux fired another cage of light as she made her way over to the other girls. "How will we get rid of them?!"
The spell wore off and the brothers started towards Riven's unmoving body, only to be stopped by 3 Demacians.
"I don't know what is happening, but I'm standing with Xin Zhao!" Jarvan declared, his lance leveled at the Noxians. Garen nodded assent, sword ready. Xin Zhao smiled at his friends. "Thanks guys!" He said, and then glared at Darius. "Let's kick some ass!"
While the males fought, Lux, Irelia, Leona, and Ashe tried to come up with a plan. Well, more like Lux and Ashe came up with a plan while Irelia watched and Leona paced.
"We need to fight fire with fire… " Ashe mused.
"A Noxian with a Noxian…" Lux added.
They met eyes. "We need another Noxian!" They said simultaneously, the same idea in both their heads.
"We need Katarina."
Back at the Institute…
The Sheriff of Piltover walked down the hallway of the West Wing, her suitcase dragging along behind her. Digging her key out of her pocket, Caitlyn opened her door and stepped inside, flicking on the lights and throwing the suitcase into her open closet. She sighed in relief as she flopped onto her couch, the days travels already behind her.
Something, or someone, started pounding on her door. Caitlyn groaned. "What?"
"I know you're in there, Sheriff." Came the muffled reply. "NOW OPEN THE GODDAMNED DOOR!"
The brunette heaved herself off the couch and slumped over to the door. The second it opened, a certain redhead had her pinned against the opposite wall by her throat. Caitlyn started gasping for air, and Katarina loosened her grip slightly. Very slightly.
"Where are your handcuffs, Sheriff?" The assassin hissed.
"Mmmm *gasp* mmmm!" Caitlyn replied, still unable to speak. The hold on her windpipe loosened a little bit more.
"Wha- *gasp* what do you need them *gasp* for?" She managed to say. Katarina's eyes flashed. "Don't question me. Now, WHERE ARE THEY?!" She whipped out a dagger and pressed to to the hollow of her victims throat.
"I- *gasp* b-bottom left d-drawer!"
The Noxian smiled and let Caitlyn go. "See, telling me wasn't so hard, now, was it?"
The victim rubbed her throat while she watched the redhead go over to the drawer and retrieve a pair of fuzzy handcuffs. She paled, realizing that she'd given the wrong pair to the Noxian…
"My my, Caitlyn. You've been a naughty girl lately, haven't you?" Katarina drawled, picking up the handcuffs and clipping them onto her belt. She strutted over to Caitlyn's bathroom and admired herself in the mirror. "Mm, I'm a sexy officer!" The Sinister Blade laughed in a poor imitation of Caitlyn's accent, walked out of the bathroom, past a confused Piltovian, and back out the door, shutting it behind herself.
'... Ok then…' The Sheriff of Piltover thought. 'But what is she going to do with that…?!'
Katarina's room…
"Akaaaali~" Katarina purred, closing her door behind her and slinking closer to her prey.
The Fist of Shadows eyes widened when she saw the handcuffs and she struggled against her rope binds, moving the chair a couple of inches forward. "Mmmm! Mmm!"
The Sinister Blade chuckled. "I told you, struggling will only make it wor-"
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!
Katarina and Akali both turned their heads to the door, one angrily, one hopefully.
"What?!" The Noxian screeched, stalking over to the door and slamming it open. "Caitlyn, I'll give the cuffs- what the fuck!"
There was nobody there.
Katarina was not amused. "Teemo, you little runt. Show yourself!"
"..."
"You asked for it, Satan!"
Her leg struck out in a sweeping kick, but hit nothing. The Sinister Blade hissed and turned back to Akali, only to find the Kinkou ninja being freed from her bindings by a floating dagger. They met eyes.
"..."
"..."
"..."
"... WHAT THE FUCK?!" Katarina unfroze and launched a couple of daggers towards the floating one. It danced out of the way, aa Akali's ropes fell off. The ninja was scared now, of the angry Noxian, and of the strange apparition that had saved her.
The air shimmered, and a few seconds later, a certain light mage came into sight, the dagger still in her hand. Katarina's eyes locked onto her. "Blondie!" She hissed, and Lux gulped. 'Shit, my spell wore off! I'm sooo screwed!'
Or not.
Akali grabbed her hand. "Hold on!"
Traveling through the shadows, the duo ended up in the North Wing hallway.
The redhead whipped out her door and ran towards them, screaming, "GIVE ME MY AKALI BACK!"
Shivering, Akali yanked on Lux's arm. "RUN, BLONDIE!"
Half running, half shadow-dancing, the Fist of Shadow and Lady of Luminosity ran out of the Institute, a teleporting Noxian assassin hot on their heels.
"W-where are we going?" Akali panted. An idea crept into Lux's mind. "Follow me!"
Thank god the restaurant wasn't far.
The original plan shuffled through the light mage's thoughts. How she was supposed to free Akali, turn her invisible, and leave a note for Katarina.
[The note]
Dear Ms Du Couteau,
If you want Akali back, come to the restaurant next to Singed's bar.
Sincerely, Darius.
[Back to the story]
Yup. Blame it on Darius.
The doors to the restaurant slammed open, and Lux shoved Akali into Leona.
The room was in utter chaos.
Plates lay shattered on the ground. Tables were upturned. And there was a stray piece of toilet paper stuck to Riven's forehead; speaking of which, the still unconscious Exile was now hidden behind a makeshift fort of tables along with Leona, Irelia, and Ashe. Meanwhile, the 5 men were still fighting.
"We haven't much time, we-"
The doors flew off their hinges and Katarina, eyes burning with green venom, stalked into the room. She took in the brawling men and the huddled women, before picking up Lux by the throat and pinning her against the wall. The mage choked and struggled for air while her friends stood numbly by, unable to help as Katarina had a sharp knife by Lux's throat.
"The next one of you," Katarina hissed, knife digging into the Demacian's windpipe. "To interrupt my Akali time, is going to wish that I'd kill you."
Garen felt his heart shatter, while Irelia raised an eyebrow. "You two are a… thing?" She gaped, eyeing the handcuffs which were still attached to the Sinister Blade's belt. Akali shook her head vehemently. "No! Of course not! I-"
Leona gasped. "Don't lie to us, Akali! Are you dating Kat-"
"SHUT UP!" Katarina screamed, a dagger flying inches away from Leona's face. "And can someone tell me what the fuck happened to this restaurant?" She chucked Lux towards the girls, and they all went to catch her. In the 5 seconds it took to right Lux, Akali was back in Katarina's grasp.
Xin Zhao cleared his throat. "Draven attacked my friend Riley."
Katarina facepalmed. "Disgraceful!" She hissed, turning to the brothers. "Darius, I thought I told you to keep your brother in line!"
The Hand of Noxus huffed. "Well you try doing it!"
A dagger sailed into the wall next to him, and Darius flinched.
"And on top of failing your ONLY JOB, you can't even defeat 3 Demacians!"
"Hey!" Jarvan complained, but everyone ignored him.
"Idiots!" Katarina seethed. "Now, get OUT of my sight. You have 5 seconds."
"Wha-? But… But…" Draven protested.
"5."
"Hey! You can't boss us ar-" Darius complained.
"4."
Katarina unsheathed her sabers and glared at Darius.
"3."
"Swain will-"
"2."
"I think we should get out of here." Draven whispered to his brother. "My awesomeness is at risk here!"
"1."
The Noxian brothers raced out of the restaurant, a dagger sticking into the door after them.
Xin Zhao raised an eyebrow at the authority that the assassin had over the Hand of Noxus. But he wasn't going to question it. Much.
Meanwhile, Garen was still standing in the same position he'd been in when Katarina had threatened to kill his sister. 'She… She… And Akali… She… But…'
The assassin blew a stray strand of red hair out of her face. "If you'll excuse me, I will be leaving now." A sinister smile lit on her face as she dragged Akali out of the restaurant.
The Fist of Shadow's brown eyes begged for her friends to help her, but before they could make a move, she'd been teleported away.
"... Holy shit, I didn't know that they were dating…" Ashe muttered, eyes bugging out.
"Unnghh…" Riven moaned, startling everyone out of their silent reveries.
Irelia raised an eyebrow at her/him. "Riley, you look different…"
Lux and Ashe exchanged looks while Leona looked amused. "How did you get her to agree?" She asked, and Ashe paled. "You know?"
"... It's kind of obvious, since Draven was trying to kill her."
Irelia looked confused. "Hold on, what are you talking about? And why are you referring to Riley as a she?"
Lux coughed as she felt the magic from the illusion spell on Riven wear off. "Look for yourself, Irelia."
Slightly scared, the Will of Blades slowly lowered her gaze to her dates.
"R-R-RIVEN?" The Ionian gasped.
"Hmm?" Riven groaned and slowly opened her amber eyes and got up, rubbing her head. "Yeah, Irelia?"
And then she realized that Irelia had called her by her actual name.
"Oh… Well this is awkward." She mumbled, blushing red.
Memories flooded both their minds.
Of last Snowdown.
Of a bet.
Of a dark night.
Of a closet.
Of being caught by Leona.
"It is indeed…" Irelia mumbled back, glancing at the grinning Solari. "It is indeed."
A/N: SLIGHTLY IMPORTANT INFORMATION AHEAD!
o_O so what exactly happened last Snowdown? Do you sense a prequel? -.o
Anyways...
OMFG OMFG I FINISHED THE CHAPTER YESSS! That was a LOT more difficult than I'd originally anticipated.
CAMEO: Xin Zhao, requested by none other than miss KanadeSong! Hope you enjoyed it!
If you haven't already, go check out my profile! I have a list of *possible* stories up, so if you like the idea, just PM me! If I get enough PM's, I may post it!
Ermm… So I think most of you have noticed that my super-quick update speed has slowed down by like 3-5 days. I'm sorry, but i'm doing my best! The ideas are just running out, and i'm kinda maybe starting to lose interest in this story…
Anyways, thanks for the reviews, follows, and favs! Cya next chapter~
XOXO~Creator0fWords
RAGE CORNER: DID ANYONE ELSE SEE THAT NEW KATARINA SPLASH ART!? NO RIOT! NO! DON'T MAKE IT HAPPEN! #kat1