I'm not dead. Not yet.
"All right everyone! I hope you all had a good holiday vacation. But now let's get down to business." Snake announced.
"TO DEFEAT…THE"
"Shut up!" Snake interrupted Popo's attempted reference. "Ok Nana, what've you got for me?"
"Dark Pit wants you to meet him at the park." Nana informed Snake.
"That kid? He wants my help?" he questioned.
"Well yeah, he sent a request and this is our job. Why, did something happen between you two?"
Snake flashed back to his memories from a month ago. It was when he was at Skyworld with Palutena, teaching her the way of the cardboard box. Dark Pit had interrupted them. One thing led to another and Snake took out his cardboard box tank and shot Dark Pit into the sky.
"No no! Everything's fine. I'll be on my way then." Snake said and left.
Snake arrived at Smashville's park. It didn't take him long to spot the "angel" dressed in black. He made his way over to his potential client.
"I've been told you need my assistance." Snake began catching Dark Pit's attention.
"Oh! Snake! I'm surprised you came." Dark Pit admitted.
"I don't let personal affairs get in the way of business." Snake claimed. "This is business right? Or is this an attempt at revenge for what happened last time?"
Dark Pit sighed. "I'm still somewhat angry about that, but I genuinely need your help."
"Ok then. What do you need help with?" Snake asked.
"Snake? What name do you use when you address me?" Dark Pit asked.
"Uh…Dark Pit of course." Snake answered confused with the bizarre question.
"Thank you, but everyone else on the roster do not refer to me as that name."
"What do the others call you?"
Dark Pit gave an annoyed sigh. "Pittoo." He muttered.
"Pittoo? I think I remember Palutena calling you that. Kind of a weird name if you ask me." Snake commented.
"It's a stupid name! A name that robs me of my own personal identity. I'm not "Pit 2"! I'm my own person!" Dark Pit vented his frustration.
"Sounds like you're having a bit of an identity crisis."
"If you can call it that then sure, I'm having one." Dark Pit sneered.
"What have you done to try to convince the others to call you Dark Pit?" Snake asked.
"I…I tried to force them to." The dark angel admitted looking embarrassed.
Snake sighed with disappointment. Kid, coercion only works when you have complete power over somebody, not when they have the ability to fight you and be able to win."
"Well why do you care? Isn't your company about doing things no questions asked?" Dark Pit complained.
"No actually. I think I speak for all of my employees when I say that we don't like to be kept in the dark about the jobs given to us. I'm not going to have my business be a place where someone can walk in and ask "Hey can you murder a dude for me?" and then we say "Yeah sure."."
Dark Pit scoffed, annoyed with Snake's persistence.
"So why do you think I would be of any help?" Snake questioned.
"You seem to be generally liked and respected by the others. I feel you'd have a better chance at persuading them."
"A better chance maybe, but it would still be a very small chance."
Dark Pit looked at Snake confused.
"Kid, no matter if people like you or not, you're never going to have much success in convincing people to change their ways." Snake lectured.
"I see…"
"However, there is something I can do that can fix this problem of yours, but I have to know that this is very important to you." Snake warned.
"Yes! It is Snake!" Dark Pit pleaded.
"Alright then."
Snake pressed a button on his desk and a hidden room opened up. Inside was a monitor with surveillance of all the characters on the roster. Dark Pit was stunned by the technology around him.
"What the hell is this?"
"About a week ago, my company got an anonymous tip suggesting that someone has a device that keeps track on all of you on the roster." Snake explained. "I took a look into it and turns out our anonymous source wasn't joking. What you're looking at is the feed from Crazy Hand's monitoring device."
"What does it do?" Dark Pit asked.
"It tracks almost everything about you, and can make you do anything. It's similar to technology the Patriots had."
"Why are you showing me this?"
"Because since we're tapped into his device, we can actually access all sorts of information. We can also run all sorts of different commands."
"Can you tell me in a way I can understand?" Dark Pit whined.
"It's a little extreme, but I'm going to replace the word "Pittoo" with "Dark Pit". So if any calls you that, they'll say Dark Pit whether they like it or not." Snake answered.
"Are you serious? He has that much control?"
Ignoring the question, Snake typed in the command to replace names. He changed Pittoo to Dark Pit and hit enter.
"Now look at Pit's feed." Snake told the dark angel.
"Lady Palutena? Have you seen Dark Pit anywhere?" Pit asked unaware that he said Dark Pit due to programming.
"No Pit, I haven't seen Dark Pit anywhere." She answered.
You get the idea of what's going on right?
"That's amazing!" Dark Pit cheered.
"Yeah it sure is something." Snake said with sarcasm, actually despising the device. "You got my payment?"
Dark Pit handed Snake a total of 500 coins.
"Thanks. Sorry about this."
Snake drew his tranquilizer gun and shot the Dark warrior in the head, immediately putting him to sleep. Snake was not going to let him leave his office with the knowledge of Crazy Hand's device.
"All right Lucas, do your thing." Snake ordered.
Lucas used his powers and began wiping Dark Pit's memories selectively. Specifically, everything that happened up since this morning.
"It's done." Lucas confirmed.
"Wolf, can you carry the kid back to his house before he wakes up?"
"Sure thing." Wolf replied and lifted the unconscious angel over his shoulders.
Lucas felt somewhat uncomfortable with wiping Dark Pit's memories, and asked for Snake's input on the matter.
"Snake? Do you think that was the right thing to do?"
Snake let out a sigh expressing slight guilt over having Lucas do what he did.
"That's tough to answer Lucas. I'm sorry I had you use your powers like that. No, I don't believe that what we did was right? But at the same time, we can't have Crazy Hand knowing we have evidence of his dirty secrets. I don't think we should let the others know about this until we've figured out what that nutjob is up to. I hope you understand."
"Yeah…yeah I understand. It's for the greater good."
"Thanks kid. Until then, let's just do our job."
So I'm running a little low on suggestions. If anyone has some please feel free to let me know. Sorry if this chapter wasn't exactly high quality, but I just wanted people to know the story wasn't dead. It won't be like this in the future.