[ February 22nd]
It has been two months since their first mission and they had many more. From mail delivery to clearing out bandit camps, most stayed C's but others turned into B-ranks when capable missing nins and even opposing village ninja intervened. One stuck out from the others the most
*flashback*
Rin and the genin stood stiff as pillars as they stared down at the man that had appeared. This mission had taken a turn for the worst. It was a courier mission to Tea country, and they were carrying sensitive trade agreements for the Daimyo of the country. Apparently Kiri didn't like those trade agreements, so they sent one of the Seven Swordsmen of Mist to intercept them.
Specifically, one Zabuza Momoichi.
He stared at them like a predator eyeing it's prey, " Let's just make this as easy as possible. You obviously know who I am, you have a brat strapped between your tits, and your rear guard is eye level with your rear. Just hand over the documents and I won't have to eviscerate you", he threatened as he kneaded the grip of his blade that was hanging over his shoulder.
Hiroshi stepped forward with a glare, " We'll ne-"
"Fine", Rin answered cutting off Hiroshi, and pulled out the scroll.
The genin looked at her with shock, " What? You're just giving up that easy?", Nanami shouted at Rin.
Rin glared at Nanami, " This isn't a game Nanami! I am not taking a genin team and a baby into combat with a Jounin! Not only would it be reckless, suicidal, and downright stupid, but it would also be criminally negligent, especially if one of you died", she berated her as she threw the scroll at Zabuza, which he easily caught.
"Heh, you might be weak, but at least you're not stupid", he said to the group with a bandaged smirk. With blast of water, he shunshined from his spot.
Rin waited a half a dozen seconds before reanimating, " Alright, let's get going. Very very quickly!", she ordered the genin, taking off.
"But Kaa-sensei, you're still heading towards Tea Country", Hiroshi spoke up.
Rin turned her head, " Which is why I said VERY VERY QUICKLY!", she said with panic in her voice.
They all looked at her strangely before getting what she had done and going ash white and speeding up as fast as they could, Kurenai going through handsigns as she did.
*With Zabuza*
'That had to be the easiest A-rank I've ever done. Those tree huggers have absolutely no backbone...they do have nice tits though' he mused as he ran across the ground towards Kiri. Soon enough he decided to check to see if he was being followed. He stopped and put his ear to the ground, using his enhanced hearing to listen for the vibrations of footsteps. ' Strange, I don't hear the Konoha team anymore. It's almost as if...", his eyes widened. They were moving away from him...TOWARDS TEA COUNTRY. He ripped out the scroll and pulled it open, spying a bunch of storage seals.
Pushing his chakra into the lot of them, he was greeted with the site of-
"DILDOS? That sneaky little bitch!", he roared, a dong crushed in each fist above his head. If only someone was around with a camera. With his full force behind him, he blasted off towards the team once again, his "Mr. Nice Guy" demeanor totally gone. In it's place was anger beyond comprehension.
The next 20 minutes of high speed interception were spent deciding how he was going to kill them. Though if he wasn't in such an angered stated, he would have surely noticed he was in an anchored genjutsu, Kori Shinchū no Jutsu (Sly Mind Altering Effect) to be precise, for 15 of those minutes.
*5 Minutes later*
"FUCKING SON OF A BITCH!", he screamed. He had calmed down enough to figure it out. Without so much as a plan, he went straight for them, seeing red all the way.
*With Rin*
Rin, Nanami, and Hiroshi were making a straight line for Tea Country. Kurenai and Naruto were not present. As psychotic as this stunt was, Rin wasn't stupid by any stretch of the word. She had entrusted Naruto to the one student who could effectively hide their presence and told them to head North. Now it was just her and the other two psychotic members of her team.
If the fog rolling in was any indication, their lead was gone now. They quickly made for the ground and made a defensive triangle. Normally this would be when Zabuza would psyche out his opponents, but in his current rage, he just went right for the kill.
Dropping in the middle of their formation, and startling Nanami in the process, he pulled his sword up and turned towards Rin, " You are mince-meat you little bi- WAAAAAHH!", he screamed as he took flight.
" Doton: Shashutsu Zaseki ( Earth Release: Ejection Seat) !", Nanami yelled as she stomped her foot, causing the block of ground underneath Zabuza to almost instantly rise up, sending him flying in some unknown direction.
Rin looked at Nanami with awe, " Where the hell did you learn that!¿", cried Rin. That was fucking awesome afterall.
Nanami gleamed at the envy, " Dragon-san gave it to me. He said it didn't fit his style for doing things, but since I was going to be on your team, it might be more than useful", she replied.
Rin didn't know whether to kiss or kick Tenzou when she saw him again. The words could be taken too many ways.
" Anyways, back to running like hell!", Rin shouted as she took off back into the trees, the other two quickly following suit.
*With Zabuza*
He had flown...a long way. That speck of a genin had launched him well away from them when he had brushed them off as no threat. Luckily, something had broken his fall from his airborne flight.
"FFFFFFFFUUUUUUCK!", he roared as he crushed another two dildos in his fists. If he had been more attentive, he would have heard a click. A second later, the ground where Zabuza was, exploded as he took off again towards the group.
After he left, the hidden figures came out of the bushes and collected as many of the discarded phallus as she could. ' So I went South instead of North, my gain' was the only thing one of the figures thought before moving on.
Zabuza flew through the tree towards Rin again. 'I'm not going to kill her. I'M GOING TO FLAY HER ALIVE!' he stewed in white hot rage before a disturbance put him on alert. With the skill of a newly minted jounin, he evaded the kunai trap he had triggered and landed in another branch, only to trigger another trap.
For the next two minutes he evaded and avoided expertly laid traps. If he was a bit slower, he might have had trouble but soon enough he heard the last thunks of kunai hitting wood. He finally fell to the ground from his acrobatic display...only to land on a rake covered in leaves. He spent the next 10 minutes curled up in a ball while weaving a high pitch string of curses that made the trees around him shed early.
*With Rin*
They were across the Tea country border and the capital was in sight from the overlooking hill they were on. Before taking off again, Rin decided on one more diversion.
*With Zabuza*
His rage killed birds as he passed, wherever he stepped burst into flames, his ominous aura was blotting out the sun within 40 feet of him. Zabuza was kinda angry. So when he caught sight of Rin standing in his way, his decision was final. "YOU. I am going to rape you with my sword then have you stuffed and put on my mantle!", he roared as he lunged at her with his blade. Rin quickly blocked with her tanto, putting the two in a power struggle.
"As fun as that sounds, I have other things to do", Rin grit out before taking a hand off of the tanto. Greyish blue chakra emanated around it before she quickly made a strike towards Zabuza's arm. Not realizing the technique at the time, Zabuza was grazed with it as he pulled back, feeling some of the muscles in his arm being severed.
" Chakra No Mesu ( Chakra Scalpel). Shit. I suppose it was stupid of me to assume you were a rookie Jounin", he grit out as his concentration was fully on the person in front of him.
Rin smirked, " Genin teams usually aren't given to rookie jounins, especially ones that are as seasoned as mine", she stated before she leapt towards Zabuza with her right hand glowing and tanto ready.
They traded blows for a good 3 minutes before Zabuza started going through handsigns, " Suiton: Burobumizu (Water Release: Water Blob)", he exclaimed before shooting a...blob...of water out of his mouth at high speeds.
Rin countered at the same time, " Katon: Hōsenka no Jutsu ( Fire Release: Phoenix Sage Fire Technique)", she exclaimed, firing fireballs at the incoming water blob. When the two attacks met, steam burst from it, obscuring eachother from the other. With this advantage, Zazuza burst through the steam and clashed with Rin's tanto causing her to backpedal from the force of the hit. Zabuza continued with quick strikes until he heard the telltale sound of steel cracking.
Rin backed into a tree with her tanto at the ready and Zabuza launched once more, except when Zabuza's cleaver struck Rin's tanto, the crack gave way. Zabuza's sword quickly gained it's lost momentum after breaking the tanto and went through a neck and into the tree.
Rin's lifeless eyes stared at a smirking Zabuza, who enjoyed the sight of the body falling away...until it turned into smoke just like the head.
A clone
His shock wore off and he noticed the capital only a few miles away. Something else took over his emotions, desperation. He had a perfect mission score and he sure as hell wasn't going to lose it now! With every last muscle in his body he flew at top speed towards the city. He was going to make it, HE WAS GOING TO MAKE IT!
He didn't make it.
He stared dumbstruck as the two genin with the Jounin waited outside a clothing store for their sensei, their mission obviously already completed.
Anger...no...rage...no...a primal blood haze fell over Zabuza. " murder..death..kill...kill", he growled out as he set sights on Hiroshi who had turned and recognized him. He raised his giant blade above his head and ran towards Hiroshi, who was pulling on his sleeves. " ", he screamed as he lunged at Hiroshi who flipped out his batons and put them in an X in front of himself.
Zabuza swung downwards "MURDERDEATHKILLMURDERDEATHKI
*BZZZZZZZZZZZT*",
Rin walked out of the shop with a few new things to add to her wardrobe and the chocolate marshmallow shake she got earlier. " Are you sure you didn't want to go in there
Nanami, they have a cute top that would look...", she stopped talking as she stared at the smoldering Zabuza, still holding the stance he was in when he got shocked by
Hiroshi a minute ago. The two genin were staring at him from the side. Rin walked up to Zabuza and waved her hand in front of his face, " Oi, you alive?", she asked nonchalantly.
"No", he groaned out. He felt like he WAS a sunburn.
Rin nodded sagely," Well, that sucks. There's no fun in being a corpse. Two pieces of advice Zabuza-chan. Learn to reign in that temper of yours or it's going to get you killed", she said sticking her shake into his hand.
" And the other?", he drawled out.
Rin put on a sickeningly sweet smile and put a hand on his shoulder, " Learn not to underestimate your opponents. The only reason I didn't kick your ass from one end of the continent to the other is because, as you said, I had a baby strapped between my tits and children to look after. Now SIT-", she emphasized by pushing him down with more force than even her clone was capable of, " -and drink your shake", she finished as she walked off, the two genin quickly following behind.
" She was toying with me like a mother humoring a child", he mumbled as he stared ahead of him from his sitting position, the shake still in his hand. Clones usually took on a fraction of the users strength, so if her clone was good enough to hold it's own for three minutes... She was right, his arrogance had been growing ever since he was accepted into the Seven Swordsman of Mist. The next time he might choke on what he bites off.
It was a sad note that this little exchange was the closest thing Zabuza could ever call having a mother. He mused on that as he poked the straw through the charred bandages. ' A mother. Heh, more like a mother demon', he thought sarcastically, yet the name stuck. He looked down at the cup, " This is a damn good shake".
*End of obviously humongous flashback*
The handicap of having a baby attached to her did little to her effectiveness. It did lead to a few quirks though.
*Out of one and into another...BWAHAHAHAHAHAA!*
Asuma walked up to the training ground that Team Rin was using. What he met there was not the usual sight that greeted him. The genin were trying to reason with a grumbling Rin, who appeared to be staring at a Bingo Book.
Lighting a new cigarette, he walked up to the strange scene. "Hey guys, what's up?", he asked the genin as they looked up. Kurenai was the one to reply.
"Kaa-chan found out she's in the Bingo Book, and she's not happy with it".
Asuma quirked an eyebrow, " Well that's natural, nobody wants to be in a bingo book", Asuma replied as he reached into his flak jacket.
Kurenai opened her mouth to retort but Rin cut in, mumbling, " Mother Goose".
Asuma paused and looked at her puzzlingly, " Umm, what?", he asked. Rin looked at him with a disgruntled look and shoved the Bingo Book into his hands.
"That's the nickname those idiots in Kumo gave me. Mother Goose. I piss off one genin team and they label me with that!", she growled. Asuma blinked and looked at her profile.
Name:: Inuzuka Rin
Affiliation: Konohagakure no Sato
Rank: Jounin
Class: A
Specialties: Medic Nin, Jounin Sense, Front line combatant
Affiliates: Sarutobi Asuma, Nanami, Hiroshi, Yuhi Kurenai
Nicknames: Mother Goose
Bounties: None Issued At This Time
Description: A jounin that leads a squad of genin with a baby strapped in front of her. For what purposes she brings a baby with her is under speculation, but with the addition of her genin squad's reported name for her, has led to her nickname by the team her squad engaged. She is skilled in the medical field and a user of a unique taijutsu style that has yet to be identified, but makes her dangerous in close combat. She has also been reported to utilize ninjutsu and genjutsu, making her a front line combatant rather then a medic-nin. Engage with extreme caution.
Asuma blinked a few times, then snorted, then buckled over laughing. This just soured Rin's mood more. "It's not funny!", she snapped at the rolling chunin with a fiery glare.
He stifled his laughter to speak, " You're right. It's absolutely hilarious! Imagine, Hijutsu: Dirty Diaper Barrage! *snort*", he exclaimed, resuming his laughter right afterwards.
Rin had to admit that sounded pretty funny, apparently so did the genin. She still didn't like the nickname though. "Hmph", she pouted as she crossed her arms. Asuma decided to give her the bad news anyways.
"Well, if you don't like that one, how about this one?", he asked as his laughter died down, throwing another bingo book in front of Rin. She looked down and went wide was a Kiri Bingo Book. But the only one they ever engaged from Kiri was...
"That was only two weeks ago!", she outwardly expressed as she quickly picked up the book and started searching. When she got to the page with her face on it she blanched.
"
The Mother Demon...what the hell is with Kiri and it's weird fetish for Demons¿!", she yelled as she kept reading. " GCCKK! U-uses female sex toys as decoys!¿", she screeched as her head shot over to Kurenai, who was nervously shuffling.
"W-well you weren't very forthcoming in WHAT you were going to use the scroll for", she tried to defend herself against the death glare Rin was giving her.
Rin slumped, "Give me a knife, I'm gonna cut my guts out now", she mumbled in monotone.
Asuma decided to cheer her up before she made good on her proclamation. " Come on Rin-chan, it isn't that bad. Worst case scenario, you get teased about it with one and possibly inspire a few girls to join the Academy with the other. And it's not like you're stuck with them. In less than a year, the mission will be finished and you'll be back in the anonymity of Anbu".
That thought stopped Rin's dark train of thought cold. From the outside, Rin was staring at the ground with wide eyes for two minutes, before looking to the small form pawing at a butterfly in his basket.
"You're right. Why am I sitting here sulking? Let's get back to training", she responded with a mysterious new vigor. The genin stared at her dumbfounded for a few moments before shrugging to eachother and complying. Asuma sat there, knowing full well what had spurred her on, before shaking his head and catching up.
* Yup, it's done. No more...for now)
Asuma's predictions did prove true. The rumors of a "Ninja Mom" had spread through Konoha, inspiring something in young girls to sign up for the academy. Inspire what,
Rin had no flippin' clue. She was a kunoichi, not a psychiatrist...of course there were the Yamanaka...but that's just getting off track. She just hoped she didn't see a bunch of kunoichi with babies strapped to them on missions, that thought sent cold shivers down her spine.
Kurenai, Hiroshi, and Nanami had stopped training minutes ago and were just staring at Rin, who had been going through a myriad of expressions from frowning, grinning, looking perplexed, waving her hand in front of her face, then apparently having involuntary spasms. By now they knew her well enough to know what she was doing, but it was still interesting to watch regardless.
Unfortunately, the spectacle was cut short when Asuma shunshined right in front of her while she was making gestures like she was piecing together the meaning of life.
" Gyah! Dammit Asuma! Don't pop up in front of me while I'm thinking!", she shouted at the chuckling chunin.
" Sorry to interrupt your outer expression of your inner monologue, but Pops wanted to see you and the team", he answered.
Her eyebrows rose before her eyes widened, " Oh no! He found out about the forest incident didn't he?¡", she asked with a panic.
Asuma sighed deeply, " No".
"The Deer!"
"No"
"The Shrine"
"No"
"That fat mayor-"
"No"
"The representative from-"
"No!"
The Weasels!"
"N-what?"
Rin waved it off, " You weren't there for that one, Trust me, you're lucky".
Asuma shook his head, " He wants to discuss something else, and no, you're not in trouble".
"Oh...kay. Guy-geh!", she stumbled as she turned to them to see they were right behind her. " Uh, good. Alright, let's go", she ordered, waving them on.
Asuma could only shake his head as she made a 180 course correction after walking 20 feet. She had no sense of direction at all. He set pace with them as the group passed him.
*At the Hokage Tower*
Sarutobi looked through the reports in front of him with a concerned, saddened look. Before he could read further on, he heard the telltale bickering of what he had dubbed the
"Rin Brigade", before a knock on his door was heard.
"Enter", he called before the bickering continued into the room.
"I don't care if it gives you the ability to jump through walls, Hiroshi, we're burning that green abomination as soon as we get home", Rin stated with stern conviction.
Everybody else but Hiroshi agreed. " But he wears one, and he's got really wicked moves", he countered.
Rin wouldn't have it, " He's a weirdo who tries to get young boys into spandex! Not to mention he has the style sense of a blind mental patient. Give it!" she ordered while holding out her hand. Hiroshi reluctantly handed over what Hiruzen could identify as a green leotard. Hiruzen could easily pick out the man who had given it to him. The
Sandaime was not fond of Gai. In fact, he hated him. It was not fun watching a grown man in overstretched spandex jump around the room chanting about youth, especially after smoking the strong stuff. If he wasn't as good as he was at what he did, why Hiruzen would take joy in setting him on fire and beating him out with his bo staff.
"Sorry Hokage-sama, we got a little sidetracked by some weirdo walking on his hands", Rin apologized.
The Sandaime nodded, " We've all had our unpleasant encounters with the green meanie".
"The what?", Rin asked but was overshadowed by Hiruzen's continuation. "As to why I've called you here. As you know, Konoha was supposed to host the Chunin Exams last fall. Obviously that didn't happen. So Suna's turn has come up two months early because of it. Based on your team's amount of operations, they are qualified to enter", he stated as he picked up the forms and handed them to Rin.
"Suna? But it's been in an economic slump for the last two years, how can they afford to host the Chunin Exams?", Hiroshi asked in confusion.
Sarutobi chuckled, " You are quite knowledgeable Hiroshi. Yes, they have been in a slump for a while, and have had to pass up their turn for the Chunin Exams the last time they were up. But since we didn't have one because of the aftermath of the attack, and we are allies with Suna, part of the exams there have been funded by Konoha from the coffers that were meant for the exams here. And since the exams tend to bolster alot of business from travelers and potential clients, Suna jumped on the offer.", he stated, gaining an insightful nod from the genin.
" Why do you want us to go Hokage-sama. Surely there are more seasoned teams to send", she asked with confusion. As hardy as her team was, they've only been together for a few months.
"Actually, that is something I wished to discuss with you", he stated with a silent signal.
She looked to Asuma, " Naruto needs his bath, and I'm sure you guys are hungry", she left off as she handed Naruto over to Asuma. Asuma nodded reluctantly and took
Naruto.
Once Asuma and her team had left, she turned back to the Hokage," Why did this have to be private Hokage-sama?", she asked.
The weary old man signed before responding, " To keep morale up for the most part. The fewer that know, the better".
Rin's eyes spoke of confusion and also dread, " We..we can't be the only team out there", she tried to convince herself. The Hokage slid a piece of paper across the desk.
"Academically, no, you're not. Realistically, yes, you are".
Rin picked up the piece of paper as the Hokage continued. " You're the only team that is a coherent unit, with seasoned, graduated genin, and an actual Jounin-sensei. Only two other teams have the luxury of a Jounin to guide them and the teams they lead are so patchwork from casualties, almost none of the original genin remain. The Jounin themselves are wrecks from losing so many students. The other teams are led by chunins, which is proving to be...a nightmare. They're dropping like flies.".
Rin wouldn't believe it if the facts weren't staring her in the face. A list of teams were on it. Half of them were crossed out completely. The others had x's through students names, and even teachers, one even only having one genin survivor. " Most of those dead genin would have been cutouts from the academy. But there was no test this time around because we needed as many as we could get. Boy chasers, dreamers, and ones with potential but neither the time or the teachers to help them. The ones that are capable or seasoned are horribly matched with peers, undertrained by leaders who have no experience, or business, teaching.", he stated solemnly.
Rin looked up from the depressing sheet of paper, " What about all the genin that survived the disaster And the ones that were being rehabilitated?", she asked quietly.
The Sandaime sighed, " Your genin were almost the only success story from that. Many are dead. Some from relapses during combat, others from underlying physical problems the reappeared in stressful situations miles away from any medic. The other "seasoned" genin survivors are few and far between, spread out to give more teams better survivability. You team, however, got off easy these last few months, giving them time to learn from experienced shinobi and exercise their skills in lower risk missions, with supervision and built up teamwork. None of the other "teams" have that, which is why I need yours to participate. If we only send teams like this, I have no doubt none of the Konoha participants will make it to the finals, which would give the impression that we have weakened significantly".
" Which would entice our enemies to attack. I get that part Hokage-sama...but, what are we doing to remedy the prior problem? I mean...what's the point of send genin teams at all if, in a few months, we won't have any left anyways. I mean, I heard what happened to Team 12. If that kind of thing is happening through all the genin teams, we need to do something", she replied with frustration...or desperation, Hiruzen couldn't tell which.
Either way, it was admirable. " It's surprising how much you care, Rin", he stated while appraising her.
Rin's look turned serious, " I...care about alot of people. As much as everyone says otherwise, genin are still children. They need guidance, they need structure, they need discipline, they need-"
"More people like you", he stated cutting her off. She looked at him quizzically before he continued. " I am in the middle of bargaining with the Daimyo for the lease of half of the Twelve Guardians, but he is apprehensive about the idea. Also, I've been talking with the Southern Fire Temple about hiring some of their warriors for village protection, which would allow me to send more of our ninja and Anbu on missions. But it will take a while to rake up the funds to do so. Until then, this is the best thing to a reprieve that the teams have had in months. I don't know how much it would help, but you might be able to do something for the other genin on the way there as well, whether it be academically, or...socially", he finished cryptically.
Rin nodded. Considering how easy Rin's team has had it in comparison with the other squads, they owed the Hokage a hell of alot. And if taking a Chunin Exam and trying to help out some of the shell shocked genin was what he was asking for, Rin would oblige. After all, it kept all those other genin teams away from B-ranks and the death that seemed to be waiting for them.
With determination, Rin looked back at the Hokage, "Alright Hokage-sama, I'll do my best. And I know for a fact that my team will crush these exams.", she proclaimed with a raised fist.
The Hokage grinned, " That's a statement I can stand behind Rin".
Rin thought of something else, " One thing, I'll need Asuma to come with as well".
"Oh, I'm sure you will", he stated with a smirk, not looking at Rin
"W-what?", Rin asked defensively, the the Hokage waved her off.
"Oh nothing future daughter-in-law",
Rin face faulted," It's not that serious! Wait! How did you know in the first place?¡", she pointed accusingly at the Hokage with an angry blush.
" My dear, I'm not the Professor for just my knowledge of jutsus", he harrumphed.
Rin tried concocting the perfect counter, but with her finger still pointing at him, she only managed," W-well keep your fortunes to yourself Professor Love!", and stormed out of the office.
"Don't have kids to fast!", he called after her.
"Baka!" he heard in muffled response.
"There so stuck with eachother", he mumbled in amusement. Trust Asuma to go after the strongest woman in the village, and one four years older than him. Maybe Jiraiya rubbed off on him before he left.
' He couldn't have gotten it from me' the Hokage thought as he pulled out his pipe and orange book out of his desk and opened it to a marked page before lighting up.
*Back at the House*
Rin had grumbled to herself alll the way back to the house. ' Honestly, where the hell did the Hokage get those ideas?'. Her thoughts came to a halt as she opened the door and the nasty stench of burnt food billowed out of the house in the form of smoke. Rin squinted her eyes to see through the haze that hung inside.
" Sheesh Asuma, I knew you couldn't cook, but damn", she could hear Kurenai chimed in.
" I get it, you finally coughed your lungs up and decided to do it on our plates", she heard Hiroshi add.
" Shut up. It isn't that bad...bleagh!¡", she heard Asuma spit out a chunk of whatever he "made". She got to the table to see five black chunks of charcoal sitting on plates.
Asuma was scratching his cheek sheepishly.
" Hey Rin-chan, I think I overcooked the chicken".
Rin picked up the black object. " This...was chicken?", she asked incredulously before dropping it back on the plate, which happened to shatter on impact, causing a hysterical giggle to escape from her throat.
"Err, yeah", he responded lamely. Rin shook her headand went for her apron.
" I swear to Kami you would starve without me around. Asuma, feed Naruto. The rest of you, get this damn smog cloud outta the house", she ordered.
" Hai Kaa-chan/ Rin-chan", rang out before they headed off. Rin stared straight ahead with an irked look before smiling to herself and going to the refrigerator to see what she had to work with.
*Later that evening*
"Itadakimasu" was heard as the group dug into the spaghetti Rin had masterly crafted. Nanami decided to voice what was on all their minds.
" So, are we going to the Chunin Exams in Suna Kaa-chan?", she asked with hope in her voice.
Rin nodded while she swallowed her bite of food, " Yup. Apparently Asuma and I are damned good teachers, 'cause we were first choice", she weaved through the truth that they were the only REAL choice.
"That's awesome! I wonder if we'll see any of our graduating class too. I haven't talked to Roshi or Shinji since our teams were formed", Hiroshi reminisced
" I haven't seen Mikan in a while either. Boy will she be jealous when she finds out how strong I've gotten", Nanami proclaimed as she grasped her tan bicep and flexed with a smirk.
Rin was quiet. The names she heard from them were ones she saw on the roster as KIA. So much for trying to hide the truth. As soon as they saw the other teams, they'd know full well what was happening. Rin's mood didn't go unnoticed by Asuma or Kurenai as they watched it shift before it disappeared into cheerfulness.
" Well then, you better get ready cause we head out for Suna in four days. So get what you need and rest up until then...oh, and make sure to sign those forms. They'll only let you in as a team".
Asuma sweatdropped," Wasn't that supposed to be part of the test?", he asked bluntly.
Rin just waved him off, " Just an unnecessary part", she replied.
Asuma squinted at her, "You're cheating".
Rin snorted, " What the hell is cheating?".
Asuma smiled with his mouth full, " Vewy twu".
Rin blinked owlishly before looking down, " Ah! That was my meatball!", she yelled pointing an accusing finger at Asuma
" *Gulp*. That is also very true. And it was delicious".
A vein bulged on Rin's forehead, " I took a bit outta that".
Asuma wagged his eyebrows at her, " Even more delicious.
" ECCHI!", she yelled, throwing her chopsticks at him, which he deflected with his chopsticks. She jumped over the table right at Asuma. The two went down like bricks. It should be noted that while Rin was excellent in taijutsu, and well on her way to becoming and elite jounin, when it came to wrestling, Asuma could win every time. Asuma popped up with Rin pinned and tucked under his arm.
"O-OI! Let me go you big lug!" Rin complained as she kicked her legs fruitlessly.
"No chance. I think we need a rematch...and desert...or both", he finished, throwing money on the table and dashing up the stairs with Rin under arm.
The genin got the hint, " Honestly, couldn't they be a little more subtle about it?", Kurenai commented as she raked the cash off the table.
Nanami turned her gaze from the stairs to Kurenai with a smirk, " Jealous because you're the only one in the house that hasn't hooked up?", she asked, which got a rise from Kurenai.
" T-That has nothing to do with it!", she stuttered angrily with an embarrassed blush.
Hiroshi stayed out of the bickering and kept eating.
" Ah, young love. How I wish I could relive those days", the Sandaime stated before continuing to eat Rin's plate of food. All the genin had stopped and were gawking at the
village leader, that had popped out of nowhere.
Hiroshi managed to form the million ryou question. " Wh...Wha. Why are you here Hokage-sama?".
The Hokage stopped eating and looked at Hiroshi. "...I...don't...know...", he proclaimed with wide eyes.
The room was silent until the three genin sweatdropped and wrestling sounds came from upstairs.
Let it be known that while Asuma COULD win every time, when it came to special circumstances, he was too busy admiring the view to worry about winning.
" Who has who pinned now?", was heard in triumph from upstairs. Obviously Rin's voice.
Everybody at the table blanched and the Hokage shot up," Love is afoot. Quickly! We must flee to safer grounds!", he proclaimed strangely before grabbing all three genin by the collar and running out the front door.
"What the hell was Mmmph!" Asuma was muffled off.
"Don't try that old trick, keep going", Rin replied haughtily...from above.
*Omake 1*
While Rin and her team have had many memorable missions. One stuck out that was so strange, they all decided to forget it ever happened.
Rin and her team were slowly making their way to a small, unknown country on a simple courier mission. Presently, they were walking up to a bridge.
The next instant, a person in strange metal armor, complete with a helmet, was in front of them.
"Halt strange travelers. You are about to cross my toll bridge. You must pay the toll or defeat me in battle to cross the bridge.", the man stated.
Rin, knowing how short their coffers were, went for the second choice. " Then we must battle!", she proclaimed.
" So be it!", he stated before everything seemed to shatter.
Rin, Nanami, and Kurenai were crouched in front of the man that was doing the same.
Rin's look went wide with realization, " Crap, I have Naruto on me! Hiroshi, switch places with me!".
" Okay!", he exclaimed while pouncing into Rin's spot as she ran behind them.
Nanami quickly primed her Chakra Scalpels and attacked.
MISSED
" Damn, he evaded my attack! His evasion must be really good.", Nanami hissed
Kurenai stared incredulously at her, " He only jumped back, like, 3 feet!",
Letting go of it, Kurenai prepared herself, " Now it's my turn!", and cast a genjutsu
IMMUNE
Her jaw dropped, " What?¡ How the hell is he immune to a genjutsu?¡".
As Kurenai kept complaining, it became apparent to Hiroshi that it was his turn.
" Um, um, um, um", he stuttered with sweat running down his brow. Finally, he winged it.
Reaching into his pocket, he grabbed something cocked it back, and let it fly.
" Ryou attack!", he shouted. The coins flew all the way...
Only to bounce harmlessly off the metal armor.
The man quickly scooped up all the money while everybody else was gawking at Hiroshi," The toll has been paid, you may pass!", the man announced before disappearing.
Rin stared evil eyes at Hiroshi, " You threw money at him?¡ That was your best attack?¡ Why didn't you hit him with your shock batons or something?¡", she ranted.
" I panicked!", Hiroshi answered defensively.
"For what?¡ It was obvious he wasn't going to step out of turn!", she retorted.
"Come to think of it, why the hell WERE we all taking turns?", Kurenai asked with confusion.
Rin addressed her, " Because it's a hell of alot better than a bunch of people taking chaotic turns all at the same time...and where the hell did you get that dress?".
Kurenai was wrapped in a grey dress that showed off ample cleavage and was only closed in the leg area by leather straps, blatantly showing the black stockings underneath. She also seemed to be holding a cactus.
Kurenai shrugged, " No idea, but it kinda suits me", she stated, twirling around.
Rin had to reluctantly agree, " Anyways, let's keep moving before that weirdo comes back".
* 6 hours later*
Rin looked at the blue light with wings that flew around her head. She could just make out a small human form inside the light.
"What is this thing?", she asked to noone in particular.
"Hey! Hey! Listen to me!", is cried out every so often.
Hiroshi stared at it, " I have no clue. Is it dangerous?".
" Who knows. Best just to ignore it and maybe it will go away", Rin replied.
*4 hours later*
"Hey! Hey! Listen to me. Listen! Listen!"
Rin looked ready to snap, " Shut the hell up!", she...snapped.
" Dammit that thing's annoying!", Nanami shouted as she tried to swat it away from them. Yet it evaded and kept shouting in it's little voice.
*An hour later*
Rin perked up. She didn't hear that thing anymore. She looked around.
"It's gone! Finally!", she said as she turned to the genin. "Did any of you do it?", she asked.
She was met with two nods and a glazed expression.
"Kurenai!", Rin called, snapping the girl out of lala land.
" Wha? Umm, I don't know where that thing went".
"HMMPH! MMMMPH!"
Rin looked at Kurenai with confusion, " Did...did you underwear just say something?".
Kurenai quickly put her hands up in defense, " Of course not! It's my stomach! I'm getting pretty hungry", she responded, rubbing her hand over her stomach.
" Uh, yeah. I'm getting pretty hungry too.", Rin agreed.
They decided to stop for the night and make dinner. Luckily by the time night came the blue glow emanating from under Kurenai's strange dress had faded.
* 4 days later*
They were in a dungeon, disheveled and tired, staring at a funny looking man with looks of death.
" I'm sorry to say that your princess is in another castleGURKKK!", he was cut off as Rin throttled his neck.
" THIS IS THE FIFTH CASTLE WE'VE BEEN TO! NOW YOU'RE GONNA TELL ME WHERE SHE IS OR I'M GONNA SAUTÉ' YOU IN BUTTER!¡", Rin growled with a murderous gaze, Naruto attempting to mimic her with a frown.
"Sh-she's in the castle...t-to the north!", he struggled to spit out. Rin unceremoniously dropped him to the floor.
" And how do we get there?", she asked with threat filled undercurrents.
"Th-through there", he stuttered out pointing at something.
The group turned to look at a giant green pipe sticking out of the ground of the dungeon.
*12 hours later*
Rin and company pulled themselves out the other end of the pipe looking like they just took a trip through a digestive system, physically, and emotionally.
" Kaa-sensei...th-that was disgusting", Nanami stuttered out in revulsion, her hands held out away from her body. She didn't even want to touch herself.
The other genin looked just as bad. Kurenai looked ready to throw up...again.
"If I ever see that little shit again, he'll WISH I sautéed him", Rin growled out.
"Welcome mighty warriors!", they heard from across the room.
They all looked to see a blond woman in a fancy dress
"Are you the princess who called for a courier mission?", Rin asked with hope.
The woman smiled brightly at them, " Why yes I am".
The team looked like an angel had appeared before them.
" We will happily take the item then and be on our way", Rin said with relieved tears.
" Here it is!", the princess held something in front of them.
Everyone blanched. "It's a cake", Hiroshi deadpanned.
"Yup", she answered with cheer.
Rin just heaved as long sigh. " Where do we take it?".
The princess pulled a sheet of paper out of her considerably busty bust. " To this man. He lives in the western part of the country. Now go, fine warriors!".
" How do we get out of here anyways?", Nanami asked.
The princess pointed, " That".
The team looked to see a giant metal box with wheels. Tracks were underneath said wheels. Rin remembered seeing one in snow country, except this one looked even more advanced.
" Um, how do we get it going?", asked Kurenai as the team approached it.
" Turn the key on the control board".
Kurenai did just that and watched as the lights turned to green. Suddenly the train started honking making everyone tense.
" Wah!" was the general consensus when the train, and the platform it was on, started going down into the ground.
*5 minutes later*
They were underground. Way underground.
It was some sort of research facility. That would be fine and dandy if the lights weren't out.
They had found a giant fuse block earlier and were now attempting to make a fuse in what was best described as a cold lab.
Hiroshi had figured out how minutes ago, but it was too good of a view to cut it short.
"W-w-what the hell are you looking at?", Kurenai stuttered at boy with narrowed eyes.
Hiroshi scratched his cheek, " Nothing. Just contemplating how well cold and women go together".
" Well stop contemplating and help us", Rin ordered, her fingers absolutely frozen.
" Hai!", he responded.
*30 minutes later*
" I *pant* need *pant* a breather", Rin grunted out.
They had just outrun and fought against plant monsters, zombie things, frog things, and tentacles. None of them too friendly...or way to friendly.
Rin gawked at where her tubetop and fishnet shirt should have been, the only thing keeping her moderately decent was the coat and Naruto's carrier. How the hell it got her clothes off without Naruto being in the way was astonishing.
Luckily Hiroshi had stumbled on strange devices that spit fire and metal, otherwise it would have been worse than it was.
* 2 hours later*
This was worse than it was.
"Get on the fucking train!", Rin yelled as warning alarms and red lights flashed all around them.
" THE SELF DESTRUCT SYSTEM HAS BEEN ACTIVATED. ALL EMPLOYEES PROCEED TO THE CAR AT THE BOTTOM PLATFORM. 2 MINUTES REMAINING.
"Hiroshi, get this piece of shit moving!", Rin screamed as she shot another zombie through the head.
A tall brutish looking humanoid in a black trenchcoat had just made it to the platform to see the train zip away. He fell to his monstrous knees. The whole time, the whole chase, all he wanted was a hug. Now, he would die without knowing love. Maybe in the parallel storyline-*WHITE FLASH*
*2 days later*
Rin and the genin dragged their feet up to the recipient's house. They were dirty, smelly, charred, sore, and most of all, relieved. Their mission was almost done.
Rin managed to use her upper body to swing her limp arm at the door, resulting in a knock.
A large man with a red hat and mustache answered. Very large. As in muscly lumberjack large.
" What's up?", the man asked in a deep baritone voice.
" We...have a package for you", Rin said with a tired pause, handing him the box. Even Naruto was hanging limply on front of her, sleeping like a log.
The man took the box and opened it. " Another cake huh? Looks like I'll have to..."thank her"...personally. he said as he closed up his house.
" For your troubles", he said, dropping a head sized bag in front of them before walking off towards another large green pipe, and then down it.
Rin stared at where he was earlier with half lidded eyes before turning them down towards the bag, that had spilled some of it's contents on the ground.
Four sets of eyes went wide was they gleamed at the, obviously, gold coins.
Rin picked up the bag. " To the most expensive spa...outside of this country", Rin stated in a cracked voice.
Everybody else nodded with conviction.
*With the princess in her chambers*
"Oh! How was the cake that I made yo-"
He didn't even wait for her to finish her question before grabbing at the top of her dress and ripping it off her in one motion.
" Wh-what are you doingAH!", she squeaked as he smeared the entire cake she made onto her naked form. With that accomplished, his head shot forward and sucked in
one of her cake covered breasts.
" St-stop! I don't think I'm read-AH!", she squeaked again as he picked her up and threw her on the bed. "Wh-what do you want from me?", she asked fearfully.
He looked at her with hunger," I don't want no cake. I want me some PIE!".
"S-some pie*GASP*".
*With Rin and company. Hot Water Country*
Rin sat with the genin in the hot springs. It was co-ed so Hiroshi was there as well.
" This mission never is to be talked about after our report to the Hokage", Rin stated.
" We seem to have alot of things that are "never to be talked about again", Kaa-sensei", Nanami sighed out.
" Who else noticed how many times we used the word "hell" in the last few days?", Hiroshi asked.
They all took on thoughtful looks before shaking it off.
" Anyways, so what are we going to do with what's left of the gold?". Kurenai asked with eagerness.
"Save it", was Rin's reply
"What?¡", were the cries of three genin.
" I mean it. There's enough money for each of us to buy a house, and...well...we're not going to be living together forever. Might as well have a nice house to move into once we're all done".
Her words made perfect sense. With a solemn nod, they decided to save it.
* Omake 2*
Why did he take them here of all places?
After the Hokage had dragged them out of the house, he had taken them...to...a strip club!
Hiroshi was purely red in the face as a very sexy woman bucked her naked shaved crotch in front of Hiroshi, the scent he caught making him lightheaded.
A drunk Hiruzen was laughing and talking with his arms wrapped around the hips of two topless women who couldn't have been older than 19.
Nanami would have been protesting the whole thing, hadn't she been drunk from a couple hard drinks, and currently doing a striptease in front of Hiroshi.
Kurenai wouldn't have protested at all, even if she was too busy getting a lap dance.
* 5 hours later. The Hokage Tower*
Dragon, hadn't seen hide nor hair of the Hokage since he left the tower to "get some air". Knowing there was more to it after he smelled the office, Dragon had two men search the village for him.
This wasn't the first time this had happened and he was sure it wouldn't be the last. It had even gotten worse as of late as the death toll of new teams went off the charts. The pressures of an entire, recovering, village were on one man. An old man. Many people were sure he would turn into a shell of his former self, making concessions to keep peace, others thought he might turn into a war hawk like Danzo, turning children into weapons and placing seals on everybody to maintain obedience like the Hyuga.
No. The Sandaime turned into something different. A man who didn't care about appearances anymore. Who almost shouted, " You need me, so I'll do whatever the fuck I want in between".
He still did what needed to be done, but he did it...wilder...more carelessly, and even did things that seemed to be part of a hidden agenda, or no agenda at all.
Dragon was pulled from his musings as he heard what sounded like a pair of shopping carts rolling down the road. He sent chakra to his eyes and peered into the darkness to see two small individuals pushing carts full of something, almost as if in a race with eachother.
As the carts got close enough for him to see, he blanched.
It was Hiroshi and Kurenai pushing carts with a madly giggling, naked Nanami, and a whooping, hollering Hokage.
Dragon stared, with a mortified look as they left the shopping cart at the bottom of the stairs in front of the Hokage tower.
They knocked rapidly on the door before flying down the steps and ran away into the darkness with Nanami's cart.
" GoodtimeHokagesamabye", they blurted before they left.
Dragon shunshinned in front of the Hokage who was still laying in the cart laughing.
"Are you okay Hokage-sama?", Dragon asked half assed, already smelling the alcohol wafting off of the Hokage.
His only response was to throw up his arms, " WOOOO!", before laughing like a madman again.
Dragon sighed, before grabbing onto the cart and shunshinning into the Hokage Tower.
*Omake 3*
Hiruzen puffed on his pipe as he looked at the report one of his Anbu had given him. He had specifically assigned a man to watch the situation over the months and it's inevitability had finally come.
Danzo's orphanage was complete.
He knew why the man built it. He knew too well.
The question was how or if, he could stop it.
He couldn't shut it down. That would be a PR suicide. He couldn't track the children that were in the system. There were simply too many after the Kyuubi attack. No, what he could do was much more sinister to the old mummy.
His door opened as an evil smirk fell from his face.
Koharu and Homura walked into the room looking a little annoyed. After all, it was 6 in the morning.
"What do you need to speak to us about so urgently Hiruzen", Koharu asked in a huff.
" A matter that has been brought to my attention that could use your touch Koharu", he stated with as serious voice.
The two advisors immediately perked up before the Sandaime continued.
" It has come to my attention that the transfer papers for children between orphanages is to...basic. To easy...", he paused with narrowed eyes before continuing.
" To...unbeuraucratic.", he stated to the shock of both his former teammates.
" How can this be?", Homura asked in horror.
" It is! Look at this. It just covers the actual transfer. It doesn't cover the child's medical records, dental records, optical records, psychiatric records, criminal records, tax records, political leanings, outstanding debts, religious preferences, marital status, known dependents, insurance policies, nothing! This will not do!", he proclaimed as he slapped the forms with his hands.
" W-we will see to this immediately! Mark my words!", Koharu exclaimed with determination, Koharu following suit, before they marched out the office.
Hiruzen's evil smirk came back, " Oh, I know you will", he replied to himself.
With it almost impossible for Danzo to transfer existing orphans into his orphanage, he'll have to take in new orphans, which haven't been hand picked for potential.
Meanwhile, additions were being built onto three of the existing orphanages, courtesy of the Sarutobi Clan fortune. This would make transfers even more tedious and prolonged. Hiruzen could almost see Danzo's face now.
*Undisclosed location*
A withered, bandaged face contorted in frustration as he read the report. All his orphanage was getting was drabble off the streets and civilian born children. Why weren't his men transferring children from the other orphanages?
Two men walked into the room. The reason they didn't shunshin and bow in front of him was probably because they were both carrying 12 inch stacks of paper.
"Fu, Torune. Why is it my orphanage is complete, yet neither of you have even transferred ONE child from the other orphanages.
The both started to sweat as they reported, " Danzo-sama, the reason we have not is because we are not able. Only the owner of the orphanage requesting a transfer of a child may fill out the required forms, Sir, which are then verified by signature analysts for forgery.", Fu answered with a small bow so as not to tip the stack over.
Danzo's eyebrows twitched, " It was not like this even a week ago", he argued with barely hidden anger.
"Y-yes sir. Apparently the Hokage's advisors found out about the simplicity of the transfer process and quickly made it more...beuraucratic...Sir", Fu replied.
'Those two fools? I would have expected HIruzen but...' his thought process stopped as he looked at the stacks of paper.
Another emotion filled him. Dread.
"How...many...children do those forms warrant?", he asked. Though he really didn't want to know the answer.
" Um...two Sir. There are also the processes and verifications needed for multiple agencies, including the justice department, and internal revenue agency, Sir". Torune hesitated.
' Those two agencies alone take MONTHS to get anything through!', thought Danzo in horror.
The whole room went silent for a handful of minutes.
Then, Danzo pulled the first form off of Fu's stack and started filling it out.
"S-sir. You're not really going to-"
" Put the stacks down, and leave me", Danzo ordered, cutting off Fu.
"Y-yes Danzo-sama", he answered, both of them putting the stacks down before disappearing.
' I will not give up you old paper pushers. Not by a long shot', thought Danzo as he pulled another sheet off the stack.