This chapter was difficult, a bit because I get second hand embarrassment haha.

There's smut, so... be careful. This is where that M comes into play. I understand not being comfortable with it so I'm warning. If your a pervert like me don't worry, there will be more later, I'm sure. I don't know how much longer I'm going to continue this story for, but I'm not going to stop until there's an ending that feels satisfying to me. It could have been a slower burn, but there are other things I wanted to introduce about their relationships that include sex, so here we are. :)

I want to start writing a story with a deeper plot now that I'm comfortable writing again. I'll probably start posting that in a few days. Since I'm moving to Germany, this one will be from his perspective. (An American inside Germany AHURHUR... I'm sorry...) This story will be well researched I assure you. I admit this one is a bit lazy...

Aside from that thank you all so much for your lovely comments or simply for reading! It is certainly inspiring me to continue writing fanfictions for my fellow nerdlings.

Ivan glances away, feeling his cheeks heat up. It was really such a curse to have fair skin in situations like this. The slight irritation from the sun and salt water didn't help. He sighs softly, the pressure to say what was on his mind making it harder. Alfred's lips curl at their edges and he leans in giving him a soft peck on the lips. "Relax, big guy. You don't have to tell me now." Ivan manages a smile. He wanted his scarf. He wanted to hide behind it, and tuck himself into it, much like Alfred liked to tuck into the fluff of his own jacket when he wore it. Watching his pale cheeks light up was rather cute, and it was fun to watch him get so flustered. "I've never seen you get like this Ivan."

Ivan just lifts his shirt to cover his face with it, then closes his eyes in frustration when the bottom of his shirt ends up exposing some of his tummy. This was so uncomfortable. Alfred slips his finger into the collar of his shirt and hooks it, gently tugging at the fabric. "C'mon, let me see your cute face."

"Alfred, please—" The American started to chuckle, still getting use to hearing his name in that accent, and slips his shirt up from the bottom instead. Ivan closes his eyes tighter, "Alfred—"

"You can keep covering your face if it helps." Al lifts his shirt up more so that his entire chest is bare and starts leaving little tender pecks across his skin. His muscles felt incredibly tense under his lips, and just how much bulk and muscle that was under that layer of softness was apparent. "Relax."

Ivan pulls the shirt down from his face and sighs softly, his cheeks starting to cool if only a little. Al lurches at the opportunity and pushes the fabric of the shirt up until its slipped off and falls to the floor. Ivan looks a bit panicked, in an almost aggressive way. Alfred wiggles up his body and kisses his cheek, covering him with his own torso. "Hey. relax. Just let me see you. I like it, remember? I like you."

Ivan makes a face. It was obvious he wasn't used to being submissive in any way. He looks to Alfred, and the charming gaze in his eyes that was filled with nothing but admiration made his throat feel like it was closing up. He decides to take the initiative to kiss him. Like the last kiss it started very tender, then slipped into something firmer, almost needy. Al slips his arms under Ivan's head as his arms run up the American's back.

They pulled each other closer, the moan that gently vibrated from Al's lips made Ivan melt. They began to fumble. The kissing wasn't nearly as rehearsed as their fighting was, but the newness of it made it exciting. They got lost in each other's lips and start to learn each other's signatures, how the other paced themselves, how soft or firm to kiss at any given moment, and at some point, something clicked and it felt less like fumbling.

As they got to know each other Ivan grazes his tongue along the darker man's bottom lip. Alfred allows his tongue to meet the others, and they start the gentle process all over again. They try a few simple tricks they each learned from past lovers, testing their tastes. Alfred tries nibbling at Ivan's bottom lip and when Ivan responds with a chuckle and by tugging gently at his bottom lip with his teeth they each knew that was something they each would enjoy. Some other little tricks were responded too a little less enthusiastically, and soft giggles covered the embarrassment that came with it.

Al couldn't help but rub his nose along and against the other's again and again. Ivan smirks and started to rub back, even if it wasn't as roughly as Alfred did. They look to each other both grinning like dorks without a word. Then they started to laugh.

It was nerve racking, and all at the same time incredibly comforting to be so close.

Ivan takes the opportunity to slip Alfred's shirt off him. It was only fair, after all. His tan skin rippled gently from the cold and Al lays down along Ivan to steal his warmth. "Hey!"

"Hey." Ivan responded and chuckles leaning in to kiss him again. The credits for the movie began to play and the music was entirely too loud and distracting. Alfred pulls away and tries to reach for the remote, slipping and nearly tossing them both off the couch.

"Sorry." He manages to grab it and turns the tv off, both helping each other back onto the couch. The dark made them feel like nothing else existed. Neither of them knew just how far the other wanted to go, so they remained cautious. The American slips his body back down along the other's and kisses along the side of his neck. Ivan bites his lip, and at the response Al kisses along his throat. The hand at his back grabbing his love handle urged him to kiss back down the other's neck and ever so gently bites into him. Ivan hums a moan he couldn't hold in. Alfred chuckles and kisses down his neck some more claiming a scar-less patch of skin to mark.

Ivan kisses his neck in return and bites down into the fleshy part of the American's inner shoulder. They both use one another to mask their gentle moans into. "Fuck." Al pulls away and looms over the other, "someone has a sensitive neck."

Ivan snickers and pushes Alfred into him by the back of his back, rubbing the blue-eyed man's half hard cock along the area right above his own and pushes himself toward between his legs. "Someone is excited."

Al bites his lip and flushes, "you caught me." He pushes himself into the other, the cocks rubbing past each other with layers of fabric between them. Al leans in and kisses the other, both of them gently thrusting and moaning, their hearts starting to race and breath becoming heavier.

Alfred lifts himself and slips down Ivan's body. The Russian flinches softly feeling a kiss graze down his stomach. Al sits on the man's knees and starts to tug at his pants, slipping them down to with a bit of a struggle. "Wait—"

Alfred stops and looks up to him with his hands still at his waist band. "What is it?" he was still panting a bit and was obviously excited to see what was hiding under the pants. It was hard to see Ivan's expression in the dark, not to mention without his glasses. "Are you not as big as everyone says or something?" he could see why that might be something worth hiding, but he didn't care. After a heavy silence that allowed them each to feel their own pulses, Alfred starts to gently tug at his pants again. When he isn't told to stop he pulls his pants down to his knees. He leans in and presses his tongue to the other's cock and Ivan bites down into his lip.

"I just know most Americans find being uncut to be… dissatisfying…" Alfred starts to laugh and Ivan sinks into himself. His heart skips a beat feeling as though his fears came true.

"Dude, I don't care. I'm the weird one. Besides…" Alfred exhales a hot breath onto his cock and licks his palm, grasping his length and slowly strokes it, with an immediate physical response from the Russian. "That makes you more sensitive, right?"

Ivan didn't respond. He was too busy trying not to make a sound. Al licks his lips and slips them over his cock, licking and slicking him up before starting to slide his lips over him more and more. He smiles over his cock and moans over it, feeling it get bigger. He slips down and gently tries to coax his cock into to back of his throat, steadily pushing his entire cock into his mouth.

Ivan makes a deep shallow moan and Al giggles, causing him to choke softly. He pulls away and sucks in his drool and chuckles, "Well, you are as big as they say…"

"Are you going to choke on it some more?" Ivan chuckles and starts to swear in his native tongue feeling his mouth go back over him. Alfred slips him back in as much as he can and coughs a few more times. He didn't really have too much experience with this skill… The sensation of his throat closing up was still enough to make Ivan shutter, and really it was hot to hear him choke on it…

The American slips away and takes a breath, "How's it feel to have your cock between the teeth of the strongest country in the world?" The sensation of just how rock hard he became was the best kind of reaction to that question as he presses his tongue against the base. He keeps going, setting in, getting into a position to work his mouth over the other with the assistance of his hand at his base and one at his balls. Watching him squirm under his mouth had to be the best part.

Ivan groans and runs his fingers through Alfred's hair and pushes him away gently as his cock throbs. "You are going to have to slow down."

Alfred chuckles and crawls up the other and wipes his mouth. "Really now?" Ivan pulls him down and kisses him and reaches up groping the American through his pajamas. Ivan chuckles into his lips and grasps him.

"You really enjoyed yourself, didn't you?" Ivan kicks off his pants the rest of the way and picks him up. walking the American to the master bed room and tosses him on the bed, watching him giggle while he softly bounces up and then settles into the soft blanket before pushing it out of the way.

"Am I going to get to enjoy myself some more?"

"I think so." Ivan crawls onto the bed and pulls Alfred's pants off, tossing them aside. Now it was Alfred turn to blush and glance away. He chuckles nervously. Ivan settles into the bed and lays himself between Alfred's legs and smirks up at him. "Hm?"

Alfred swallows and bites his lip blushing furiously, his cock twitching just thinking about what's about to happen. He covers his mouth with his wrist feeling his mouth go over his cock. The sensation of his lip, and tongue and hot breath send a shiver down his spine. He moans into his wrist feeling him work over his cock, starting slow and teasingly, eventually working his way fast. "Hnnng."

"What was that?" The larger man slips down over the rest of his shaft and pushes his cock into his throat. The American moans into his arm again and nearly whimpers when Ivan begins to swallow. It seems he has much more practice. Al grabs the locks of silver hair and grips them, trying not to be rough, but the sensation was hard to bare when he wouldn't. stop. Along with the swallowing he'd keep bobbing and licking.

"Ivan, stop! Fuck! I'm gonna cum, stop haaah." Al bites into his arm and bucks into the other's mouth with a whimper, cumming hard down his throat. He shivers as he sighs and huffs looking up at the ceiling. "Holy shit." Ivan chuckles and easily swallows whatever was at the back of his throat and licks him. Alfred's body convulses, "Haah, I'm really sensitive right now."

"You're still hard?"

Alfred sits up and tries to calm his panting. "I have really fast recovery, and." He pants, "you turn me on like really really bad."

Ivan snickers and puts him back into his mouth. Alfred tilts his head and moans biting his lip, his entire body shivering, "Ivan, s-stop, I can't handle it." He pulls away from his cock and crawls over him, settling down as Alfred slips his arms over him to hook around his neck and lays back down.

They kiss, soft and tender, hot and passionate. They hold onto one another, rolling around, gently thrusting with little moans and soft panting. Eventually the Russian ends up being the one laying down. He looks up to see Alfred making an unsure face. "What is it?" Alfred bites his lip.

"I didn't bring lube… and you're so big, there's no way—"

Ivan chuckles and pulls him into his arms, and while he pats his hair reaches over to grab a little bottle out of the night stand he but there when they arrived. "You will learn how to prepare one day."

…

The shower was delightful. In the afterglow, there was nothing but smiles and steam as they washed each other off and slipped into one another's arms, giggling and kissing. The water would slip between their lips and over their noses as they kissed, only making them chuckle more. It had been awhile since either of them had indulged in having a partner.

"This is entirely too perfect." Alfred murmurs and slips away running his hand through his hair slicking it back out of his face. "I can't even see you all that well, and—" the American reaches his hands out and runs them up Ivan's chest and grins slipping them over his shoulders. "That's not the only reason I keep making sure you're real."

Ivan chuckles and pulls him in closer, "You should perhaps keep your expectations low, so I do not fall short of them."

Alfred grins and shakes his head and presses his nose into the other's, letting the water run over them. "I don't care if you're not perfect. I like that you show me all your worst. I think that's what makes this nice." Al slips his hand tenderly over the other's scar and looks to him, but closes his eyes being blinded by the water and chuckles. "I think I'm learning to like all the missteps."

Ivan's lips curl into a soft smile and he leans in to kiss him caressing his cheek. "It's about time, Alfred." He grins wider and pulls him close pressing them back together. "There's a reason I waited until I did to… let you know."

Alfred manages to open an eye and leans into his hand. "I wasn't ready when you said that. How did you know I liked you back?"

Ivan scrunches his nose and grins pressing their foreheads together. "I wasn't sure you still did, but I did come across your home one night, while I was spying on you, keeping a close eye on you, making sure you weren't destroying yourself. The Cold War, Alfred, during our spying games, I heard you through your window cursing my name."

Alfred flushes and shifts his eyes away knowing exactly what he was talking about. He feels his heart sink. "That doesn't happen to be the time that I—?"

"That you were masturbating while thinking of me?"

Alfred tucks his face into the other's chest and makes a noise comparable to a dying animal. "Oh my God…!"

Ivan chuckles and leans in close to his ear, "Was I keeping you warm?"

Alfred shivers a bit at his words and leans into him. "Well, you can now." He chuckles nervously and leans in to kiss his neck.

"Don't do that, we are cleaning up. Remember?"

Alfred whimpers a bit and kisses the other some more and presses him into the cold tiles. He chuckles into his lips and grabs him by his hips and presses into him more, the Russian responding with a hushed moan. The American looks up to the other and kisses at his neck more. "You only got to cum once…" When he presses into him more he can feel him getting harder and looks to his rosy cheeks and smirks. Ivan shifts his eyes to the other with pleading eyes and bites his lip. Alfred smirks, "I really like that face you make."

He slips down the other's body and gets down to his knees, looking up to Ivan and opens up his mouth. His tongue grazes the tip of his cock as he grips his hips harder and slips his mouth over his cock as painfully slow as he can manage. Ivan tilts his head back and moans into his own bottom lip before looking down to the other. "You really like sucking my cock, don't you?"

Alfred shifts his eyes up to him and nods while he bobs his head. Ivan struggles to stay still and keep his hands to himself while the American gets more comfortable sucking his cock. When he starts to get really into it Ivan reaches down and grazes his hand through his hair tenderly. Alfred pulls the other's cock out of his mouth and lets out a hot breath and sucks more air in. "I want you to pull my hair and fuck my mouth…"

Ivan's eyes widen and tightens his grip on the other's hair. When his response is to make a submissive face of pleasure his cock twitches. "You're such a cum slut…" Al blushes and opens up his mouth begging for his mouth to be filled and reaches down to stroke his own cock.

Ivan gently pushes himself into his mouth and moans out a long cuss. "You just wanted to touch yourself?" He smirks down at him and starts to fuck his mouth a little harder. The American only responding by slightly bobbing and moaning over his cock, stroking himself harder. "Fuck."

"Where do you want me to cum?" Ivan pulls Alfred away from his cock and as he gasps for a breath he says, "My face. You can cum on my face." Ivan sticks his cock back into the other's mouth, his knees starting to shake and nearly buckle, so he presses himself into the wall harder. Alfred was obviously getting closer, and watching him get off to sucking his cock was incredible.

Alfred whimpers and starts shaking, Ivan slips his cock into the back of Alfred's throat and gasps out a hard moan while he gently chokes and begins to desperately moan and whimper over his cock, cumming with his cock deep in his throat. Ivan holds him over his cock and pants trying not to cum until the other finished and pulled himself out, accidently leaving some cum behind in his throat and he pulls away and finishes on his face. "Why are you so fucking hot?"

Alfred grins getting coated and licks as much of the cum around his lips as he can. "I love being able to do that to you." He ducks his face into the water and washes it back off. He swallows feeling his throat was sore and smiles to Ivan sheepishly, who then kisses him.

"Was that too hard?"

Alfred bites his lip and shifts his big blue eyes to him. "I kinda like the way it hurts."

"Of course, you do." he chuckles.

After slipping out of the shower and drying off they put some fresh pajamas back on. The American was eager to cuddle, but Ivan clicks the lights on and exits the bathroom out to the hallway and starts some coffee. Alfred fallows him and stands behind the counter by the chair. "What are you making that stuff for?"

"It is only 11?"

"It's still way too late for coffee."

Ivan shrugs and lets it brew. "Could you please hand me my scarf?"

Alfred walks over and grabs it for him and walks up to drape it over his neck for him and smiles. "You know, you can still wear that as much as you want."

Ivan sinks into it and furrows his brows upward. "I know that." He shifts his eyes away. "I am trying to expose myself. Perhaps then it can be more comfortable."

The coffee maker beeps and they each pour themselves a cup. Alfred glances to the sugar while he takes the first sip. He looks down into the cup, a rich warm and deep brown. He sighs some and looks back up to Ivan. "I think I should tell you something."

"What would that be?" Ivan pulls the cup away from his lips and while his eyes are locked onto Alfred he pours a bit of vodka into the coffee.

"I was hanging out with Germany for a few days before I came here with you. He gave me all that advice like I said, but we talked a lot and—"

"I already knew all of this."

"You did?"

"Germany and I have been on speaking terms for quite some time. He's been opening himself up a lot over the years."

"That doesn't explain—?"

"Who do you think he was texting while you two were in the café?"

Alfred looks down into his cup confused for a long moment before he looks to Ivan and opens his mouth to say something. So he was texting both of them while they were sitting in that cafe? He stops short and looks back to the cup. "Italy."

The Russian makes a concerned expression and looks away, "Alfred, he's been trying to get over that they won't be a couple for a while now. Didn't you hear?"

"I've been a bit out of the loop." Alfred chuckles nervously and sips his coffee again. The bitterness was starting to settle into his throat. "I had no idea."

Ivan smiles to him and shakes his head. "I'll catch you up then. Italy is still waiting for someone that isn't coming back."

"Holy Roman Empire, right?"

"That's right."

"It's neat that they're still friends though."

"Not… exactly. Germany has been trying to get over him. It's hard to push away the first person to treat you like a human being."

Alfred taps his finger against the coffee cup and lets it start to feel like its burning his hand. "Yeah, I can't imagine…"

Ivan looks to Alfred and frowns a bit. "What is it?"

Alfred shimmies closer to the other and leans his head onto his shoulder with a soft huff. "There's no right answer is there? You have to be brave enough to open up and let people in, and then be strong enough to push them away if you need to, or tough enough to endure if they're the ones pushing you away."

Ivan presses his lips to his temple and leans his head onto the others. "That is, unless you find what you're looking for."

Alfred chuckles and snickers. "We've been together for a day."

"I've also been waiting for quite some time, and you can't tell me you weren't either."

The American bites his lip thinking of the revolution and how much it hurt Arthur, and for how long. He sees the way he sulks every year. "I wonder what it's like to get pushed away by someone really close to you."

"Well." Ivan sips the coffee. "It isn't easy. After your done… accepting it. You have to ask yourself why they felt the need to push you away." Alfred looks up to Ivan and smiles pressing his lips into his cheek. Ivan smiles a bit and continues, "I found that when you're afraid to lose someone, the actions you take to prevent from losing them are exactly what proves they were right to leave."

"So, if I ever leave?"

"I'd have to watch you go." Ivan looks to him. "I know you value your freedom, Alfred. You're not mine to keep no matter how nice it is to hear in the bedroom."

The American grins and leans up pressing his lips into the other's; they kiss sweetly tasting of coffee. "That might just be another reason to stay." They put their cups aside and hold each other close. Promises to tell each other floated through their minds. To promise that they'd never have to be alone. The promise of something lasting until one of their countries perishes. Yet they were both too wise for that. Ivan from experience, Alfred from watching the people he cares about.

The floaty feeling that consumes Alfred's chest makes him cover his mouth and he chuckles as his face heats up. "Erm."

Ivan smirks. "I know. I'm trying to hold it in too."

"It would feel so right. I just don't know if it is."

"I'll wait as long as you need to hear it, so long as you mean it when you say it." They collect their cups and Ivan glances out the glass doors. "Shall we?" The two go outside and sit on the patio looking up at the stars. Alfred leans into the other and absorbs his heat grateful for the arm going over his shoulder and puts one over the other's as well. "The stars look different here."

Alfred nods and beams, giddily looking to the sky. "I love it. I remember laying on the grass and looking to the sky before England even found me. I remember gazing at them looking for answers. I remember making stories up about how they got there. Now I know what they are."

"Do you know what my favorite part about that is?"

Alfred looks to him, "Hm?" he smiles and looks to him searching for what he could mean. "What?"

Ivan smiles still looking to the sky. "That even though you could say they are not as magical, now that we know, I still look up at them and find the same feeling I did centuries ago. Porheps they are not legends immortalized. Porheps there is no magic or mystery anymore. For some reason, they calm me down. They give me hope."

Alfred lets a huge grin spread across his face. "I like being able to be anywhere in the world and get to look up at them. I like that everyone can feel that—that feeling of simply belonging just by looking up at them. I wanted to reach those stars, Ivan. I wanted to be able to just." He extends his hand out and pretend to grab one of the stars. "I wanted to be painted in stardust. I still want to reach them. I just… know better now. It would be a lot like Icarus, wouldn't it?"

Ivan pulls Alfred closer. "Is that why you settled for the moon?"

Alfred smiles a bit and looks to Ivan. "I didn't settle for the moon. I worked my ass off to get there out of spite. That and, I guess yeah. I wanted to be up among the stars."

"Well you don't belong there. You may be flaming, but you are not ball of plasma."

"Did you know a big enough solar flare could kill us all at any moment?"

Ivan just laughs. Alfred finishes his coffee and starts to get jittery from the caffeine. He puts the cup aside. "I won't be able to sleep for awhile…"

"Me either. Except not because of coffee."

Alfred pulls out his phone and flips through it for a little while. Ivan makes a face and looms over him. "What are you—Alfred, nyet, no—""

"Look at this meme, Ivan. Look at it! Rootin'-tootin'- Putin. How does that make you feel? Do you want to see all my Putin reaction pictures, Ivan? What about these ones." Alfred goes through an entire folder of memes and pictures saved under the title: For Ivan.

Ivan tries to be mad but he couldn't hold the face, so he was stuck between trying to pretend to be bad and holding back laughter. "It's funny until you're not allowed to have them anymore."

"I could send them to your phone—"

"Nyet."

"How funny would it be if you sent them to him?"

Alfred chuckles while Ivan shoves him. They stand up and head inside, the American continuing to laugh and giggle while Ivan playfully glares at him with seething hatred that almost seems real.

They put the cups into the sink and turn the lights off heading to the bedroom. Ivan looks to Alfred. "I thought you had the other room."

Alfred blinks and looks to the other room and then back to Ivan, "but I thought?" he frowns beginning to give the other those puppy dog eyes.

Ivan grins and opens the door for the other. "It was joke."

The American slips into the room and jumps onto the bed only to have the Russian jump on next to him. They scooch around and awkwardly shuffle closer until they can melt into each other's arm and take comfort in their presence. They stay that way for a long time in an insomnia and caffeine induced haze.

Ivan glances to Alfred and notices he looks like he's thinking about something. He bumps his nose into Alfred's until he starts to smile. "What is it?"

Al looks to him and slips his hand into the other's and curls their fingers together. "I'm not sure." He smiles. "It's really nice to have you here." Ivan smiles in agreement. "It's just… I feel bad. Ludwig, I mean. He has a really hard time opening to people. He didn't open up to me much, but he really tried I think. What did he say to you?"

"That he was worried about you."

Alfred looks to their interlocked hands and swallows. "That's what he said, you said, about me."

"We were both concerned for your well being. Quite a few of us were."

"Is that because my mental health could destroy the whole world?"

Ivan frowns and reaches over to brush the back of his hand against Alfred's cheek. "Don't think like that." Ivan shakes his head, "We… I really do care about you."

Alfred shrugs as Ivan pulls him into his arms. "It's just hard to believe sometimes. I know I'm really annoying."

"That's the risk that comes with trying so hard." The Russian holds him close and looks to him. "That doesn't mean your not worth all the effort we want to put towards you."

The American cuddles in closer and kisses Ivan's lips before settling into his scarf. He bites his lip thinking about the way the German looked at him in the cafe. About how he listened to all his woes patiently.

"Do you feel guilty?"

"I'm just worried about him. I don't want him to be alone like I was. He helped me when I needed it."

Ivan holds Alfred and tucks him under his chin. He bites his own lip and runs his fingers through his hair. "Me too… Maybe tomorrow we could give him a call."