When Cosima got home, she went to her room, took off her clothes, and then hit herself in the head with a pillow. Repeatedly.
"Stupid, stupid, stupid!" she groaned.
She should've listened to Alison. It was hard enough only getting to see Delphine at night, but now that Delphine's sentence was probably extended and her parents probably hated Cosima, there was no hope. She had to go and fuck it up as soon as Delphine was going to be un-grounded again.
Cosima wouldn't say she was an emotional person, at least, she didn't like to think she was, but she cried herself to sleep that night, wishing only for slender arms to hold her and soft kisses to wake her up.
Cosima spent the rest of the weekend moping. She blasted loud, depressing music, and missed meals. Dylan went to her room a few times to bring her some cold pizza so she wouldn't go hungry. Even when Sarah called and asked if she wanted to kick back on Sunday night, Cosima declined.
"What's got your knickers in a twist?" Sarah asked. "You never turn down a kickback. Cal has a fake and he even picked up some Fireball, isn't that your favorite?"
"I'm fine," Cosima muttered.
"You don't sound fine," Sarah noted with concern. "You alright, Cos?"
"I said I'm fine!" Cosima said before hanging up, silencing her phone, and throwing it across the room so Sarah couldn't call her back and no one else would bother her all night. Cosima wrapped her arms around her pillow and cried into it.
In the midst of her moping and crying, Cosima had forgotten about all the homework that was due on Monday morning, and didn't realize it until 8 AM while sitting in biology class and Mr. Duncan asked everyone to get out their homework.
"Shit," Cosima muttered under her breath.
"What is it?" Sarah asked from across the table. They were lab partners, so they got a table all to themselves.
"I forgot the homework," Cosima sighed.
"You forgot the homework?" Sarah was dumbfounded. "Ok now I know something is seriously wrong. Tell me what's up."
Before Cosima had the chance to respond, Mr. Duncan walked up to their table. "Homework, ladies?" Sarah handed hers in, but Cosima hesitated and twiddled her thumbs for a second. "Cosima?"
"I, uhhh—I sorta forgot to do it," Cosima admitted. "I'm so sorry, I don't have an excuse. I don't know what happened."
Mr. Duncan nodded. "Well, thank you for being honest with me. Since you are my best student, I won't hold this against you. You can turn in the assignment tomorrow for partial credit."
Cosima sighed in relief. "Thank you so much!"
"Don't let it happen again, Miss Niehaus."
"I won't!"
Cosima sighed again, then let her head fall to the table and groaned. Sarah watched Mr. Duncan walk away and waited until he was out of earshot. "Cos, what's going on?"
Cosima looked up at Sarah. "You can't tell Alison, ok?" Sarah nodded. "I don't want her annoying I told you so."
"What did you do?"
They waited until class got started so no one would pay them any attention, and Cosima explained what happened on Saturday night when she went to visit Delphine.
"Oh god, no wonder you're so upset." Sarah shook her head. "You want me to pay Mrs. Cormier a visit? Teach her a lesson?"
"Absolutely not! We all know your lessons involve less teaching and more illegal activity. And I'm not mad at Delphine's mom, I'm mad at myself."
"How does Delphine feel about all this?" Sarah asked.
"That's the worst part," Cosima said. "I don't know." She sighed. "After her mom yelled at me, she didn't say anything. Fuck, she didn't even look at me. She could hate me now for all I know!"
"I'm sure she doesn't hate you,"
"You weren't there, Sarah. I couldn't even tell what she was thinking." Cosima rubbed her forehead and sighed, remembering the way Delphine wouldn't tear her gaze away from the floor. She wouldn't even look at her. She didn't even say goodbye.
Cosima gulped. She was not going to cry. Not here, not now.
"You can't tell Alison, she's the one who told me not to visit Delphine."
"I won't," Sarah promised.
"Don't tell Felix either cause he might tell Alison."
"But—" Cosima looked at Sarah desperately, and she didn't want to say it, but Sarah could tell what she was thinking. Please. "Fine. I won't tell him."
"Thank you."
The school bell rang sharply, and their classmates darted out of their seats. Sarah and Cosima slowly packed up their belongings. "What the fuck did he even talk about in class today?" Sarah asked.
"Mitosis." Sarah's eyes grew wide like she had just heard a foreign language. "Don't worry, I read this chapter last month. I'll catch you up."
As Sarah promised, through break and all throughout lunch, she didn't say a word, or even accidentally hint at what they had talked about in biology class. Cosima hadn't realized Sarah could be so reliable.
It wasn't until after lunch that things started going downhill. Cosima's next class was American history with Alison.
Cosima sat in the back corner seat, and Alison plopped down next to her. "How'd your paper turn out?" she asked.
Cosima dropped her pen and looked at Alison. "What paper?"
"You know, the short paper on a president? We're presenting them today." No response from Cosima. "You did do it, right?"
Cosima couldn't say anything. She just shook her head.
"What?!" Alison was mortified. "Cosima, this is a huge project! It's worth almost ten percent of our grades! And you just forgot?!"
"I was busy, ok?" Cosima said defensively.
"Doing what? Sneaking into your girlfriend's house? Sounds exhausting."
Cosima didn't say anything. She glared at her desk.
"Fine, don't talk to me," Alison said. "But good luck explaining that one to the teacher."
Cosima glanced up at Mrs. Sadler who was marking down all the present students before starting class. Fuck, which president was she even assigned anyway? Cosima flipped through her notebook, knowing she had to have written it down somewhere. She flipped through all her notes twice before she found it. Squeezed inside the margins, she had written in tiny writing: "prez project – millard fillmore" and nothing else.
"Fuck," Cosima whispered. Who the fuck is Millard Fillmore? Why couldn't she have gotten someone easy like Abraham Lincoln or Barack Obama? Cosima quickly typed his name into Google on her phone, but as soon as she clicked the link to Wikipedia, Mrs. S cleared her throat at the front of the room.
"Alright everybody, I hope you're ready for presentations today." The class muttered unenthusiastically in unison.
"Come on, come on," Cosima whispered, staring at her phone which was loading the web page at a snail's pace.
"Miss Niehaus, since you're on your phone you must be ready for the presentation," Mrs. S announced. "Why don't you go first?"
Cosima gulped. "Actually, umm, I was just—"
"I'd like to go first, Mrs. Sadler!" Alison called from next to her, raising her hand.
I love you Alison, Cosima thought desperately, hoping her friend could read minds. I love you and I take back every mean thing I've ever said to you.
"All right," Mrs. S nodded. "Cosima, you got lucky."
Cosima nodded. She opened her notebook and took out a pen, then placed her phone on top of the notebook and pretended to be taking notes on Alison's presentation while she was actually reading up on Millard Fillmore – seriously who the fuck names their kid Millard?
Surprisingly, Mrs. Sadler didn't call on Cosima after Alison's presentation. Nor did she call on her after that, or the rest of the class period for that matter. When the bell finally rang, Cosima hurriedly packed up her stuff to get out of there, but she wasn't fast enough.
"Cosima, could I speak with you for a moment?"
Cosima nodded and walked up to the front of the room. Mrs. S waited until everyone finished placing their papers on her desk and left the room until she spoke. "I take it you didn't do the paper?"
"I'm so sorry, Mrs. S, I just—"
"I don't want to hear excuses, Niehaus. Normally I don't accept late work, but seeing as this project is such a big part of your grade, I'm going to make an exception."
"Thank you—"
"I wasn't finished." Cosima nodded and shut her mouth. "Instead, you'll receive a three day in school suspension. You'll use that time to write the paper and presentation."
"Suspension? I—I've never—you can't do that!" Cosima exclaimed.
"If you're not going to take school seriously, yes I can. Now stop arguing before you're in even more trouble." She went to her desk, pulled a sheet of paper out of a drawer, and started filling it out. "Now, you'll need to have your parents sign this form so they're aware of your suspension. You'll meet Ms. Bowles in the library tomorrow morning at 8 AM sharp, just turn it in there."
Cosima was gaping. She had nothing to say, so she just snatched the paper from Mrs. S's hand and stormed out the door.
How the hell was she going to explain to her parents that she was suspended? Cosima had gotten away with her rebellious teenage years because she got good grades and stayed out of trouble, but this suspension might change things.
After school, Cosima put off going home and facing her parents. She drove around aimlessly. She went to the beach and got some ice cream, but couldn't get her mind off of Delphine. When it got later she drove by Delphine's house, and thought about going up to her window, but she didn't want to get Delphine into anymore trouble. She sighed and drove home.
When she got home, Dylan was practicing violin in his room, and her parents were watching TV. She figured now was as good a time as any, at least she didn't have to face her brother too.
"Hey, uhh, mom? Dad?"
"Oh, Cosima sweetie, is that you?" her father asked. "Dinner's on the table, you might have to warm it up."
"Thanks," Cosima said. She made no move to get some dinner for herself. Instead, she went into the living room with her parents. They continued watching some dumb reality show that was on, not even realizing she was there. She cleared her throat, and her parents tore their gaze from the TV.
"What is it dear?" her father asked.
"Um, I need you to sign something." Cosima rummaged through her backpack and pulled out the crumpled sheet of paper. She handed it to her father.
"What's this?" he asked, and started reading the paper.
"Oh, it's nothing, just—"
"Suspension?" He looked up at her, shocked. "Cosima, what did you do?!"
"Nothing!" Cosima defended. "I just forgot one little assignment and the teacher overreacted, it's no big deal!"
"Cosima you've never been suspended before!" her mother interjected.
"You think I don't know that? It's not even a real suspension, it's an in school suspension."
"What has gotten into you lately?" her mother asked. "This whole weekend you've been moody and distant, and now you get suspended? You know this isn't okay."
"I know, but—"
"Cosima you're grounded," her dad said.
"What?!" Cosima was shocked. "You've never grounded me before in my entire life! I'm already suspended, isn't that punishment enough?"
"First time for everything," he replied. "We don't want you thinking this kind of behavior is acceptable."
"Why now though? The Duncan Showcase is this weekend, I already got my ticket!"
"I'm sorry Cosima, but you're going to have to sell it or something," her mom said. "Maybe Dylan wants to go."
"But I already told Delphine I would be there!" she pleaded.
"Just let her know you can't come, I'm sure she'll understand."
Cosima opened her mouth to yell again but realized it would get her nowhere. She just glared at her parents. Her father finished signing the paper. She snatched it out of his hand and went to her room without another word.
Cosima slammed her bedroom door shut angrily and kicked her dresser. "Ow!" She probably shouldn't have done that. She collapsed on a heap in her bed and cried.
A moment later, there was a knock at her door. She quickly sat up and wiped her eyes. "Yeah?"
Her door opened a crack and Dylan poked his head in. "I heard shouting."
Cosima sighed. "It was nothing, I just got in trouble at school," she said. "No big deal."
"Oh, ok. I was just checking," Dylan said. "You want some food?"
"Maybe later. Thanks, kid." Cosima smiled. Her brother was pretty great, but she didn't want to burden him with her problems right now. Maybe another time. She fell back into bed, too tired to cry anymore. Eventually, she dozed off.
Cosima awoke at 4 in the morning. A cold plate of dinner sat on her desk. She smiled. "Thanks, Dylan."
The next morning, Cosima dragged herself out of bed and to school. She was suspended so she didn't care to get there early and talk to her friends. When Cosima got there, she went to her locker to put some stuff away. The moment she closed her locker door she was confronted by Alison.
"Cosima! Where have you been?"
"Hey Alison," Cosima muttered and walked away.
"Hey!" Alison called after and followed her. "I have been waiting for you all morning and you show up five minutes to the bell? I need to talk to you!"
"I'm sure it can wait, I gotta go." Cosima turned a corner toward the library, but Alison continued to follow her.
"Cosima!" She kept walking. "Cosima, I saw Delphine last night!"
Cosima froze in her tracks. "You what?" She spun around and found herself face to face with Alison. "Delphine? Is she ok? What did she say?"
"Now you listen to me," Alison huffed.
"Alison!"
"Ok, ok! She was at the grocery store with her mother. She made us talk in the bathroom so her mom wouldn't see."
"What did she say?"
"I'm getting there!" Alison said. The morning bell rang, but Alison paid it no mind and continued. "You're very impatient. She asked how you were, but I didn't know because I you barely talked to me yesterday. But she also said that she's sorry, and she misses you."
Cosima breathed a sigh of relief. "So she's not mad at me?"
Alison shook her head. "What happened?" she asked, concerned.
Cosima shrugged. "You were right."
Alison nodded in understanding. "I'm sorry."
"Thanks," Cosima smiled. Alison, not usually one for physical affection, wrapped her arms around Cosima and quickly squeezed her in a comforting hug. "Now get to class before you get mad at me for making you late."
"Don't you have class too?" Alison asked.
But Cosima didn't answer. She didn't care that she would probably get in trouble for walking into the library a few minutes late. Delphine didn't hate her, and that was all that mattered.
One way or another, Cosima was going to find a way to the showcase that weekend.
Author's Note: I know this doesn't resolve a lot and it's still a little angsty, but don't worry! There's only one chapter left, and then the epilogue. I'm going to try to finish within the week because we all need something nice after that finale. And after this is over, I've got a few other fics in the works! Cophine lives on! Thanks so much for all your support, and let me know your thoughts :)