Of Acolyte Origin
"Ahhh!" Remy smiled taking a deep, cleansing breath. "At last, some clean, cool, smoke-and-ash-free air!"
"That's one way to put it," Mastermind coughed shaking off his time travel disorientation. The Acolytes had appeared in a narrow dingy alley. "At least the sun is out this time. That makes it seem much better."
"Anyplace would seem better than that burning char house we just left," Sabertooth grumbled before sneezing several times. "Agggh, I can't smell a thing!"
"Um, we are not alone here," Piotr noticed a shady figure staring at them from one side of the alley.
"Uh...uh..." The figure gaped having apparently witnessed the Acolytes' arrival.
"What are you looking at, punk?" Sabertooth growled baring his fangs. "Get outta here!"
"Ahhhhhh!" The figure yelled and ran off in fright. "Pomoże! Wilkołak! Potwór!"
"Uh, did anyone catch a word of what that bloke said?" Pyro blinked.
"I did not," Piotr frowned.
"The cadence seemed kinda familiar," Sabertooth grunted thinking for a moment. "I think he was speaking Czech or something."
"Really?" Mastermind blinked. "Sounded more like Serbian to me."
"Na, it was Polish," Remy concluded.
"How do you know?" Pyro asked.
"Because that's we are," Remy turned to show them the machine. One of the screens neatly displayed:
June 17, 1604 A.D.
Kraków, Poland
"Oh, okay," Piotr blinked. "That makes sense. But wait. Why didn't the earpieces translate what was said?"
"I dunno," Remy removed his earpiece and studied it. "We must have left 'em on too long and they just ran out of juice."
"Great," Mastermind groaned. "Talk about a waste of resources. So much for understanding the locals."
"Hey, the translators served their purpose," Remy snapped as the Acolytes removed their earpieces and slipped them into their uniforms. "Maybe we'll find a way to recharge them at some point. And don't worry about the locals. I can speak a little Polish."
"Really?" Piotr blinked. "That is good. How much do you know?"
"Uh, actually I only know one sentence," Remy admitted. "Kocham Cię. It means 'I love you'."
"Oh geeze," Sabertooth snorted. "Why am I not surprised?"
"That's it?" Mastermind snapped. "You think you can converse with the locals just because you know how to say 'I love you'?"
"Eh, what else is there to know?" Remy shrugged. "Used expertly with the right femme and that's all I need to know!"
"Oh my," Piotr blushed in embarrassment.
"Do I even want to know how you managed to pick up that phrase?" Mastermind drawled sarcastically. "Not to mention whatever else you managed to pick up in the process?"
"It's actually kind of a funny story," Remy smiled in remembrance. "I was inside the quarters of this rich, visiting Polish ambassador see, and he had the most lovely, twenty year old daughter..."
"Uh, where is Pyro?" Piotr interrupted.
"Huh?" Remy blinked looking around. Pyro was nowhere in the alley. "Hey, he's gone!"
"Oh no. That maniac is loose!" Mastermind moaned throwing up his hands. "How long until he ends up setting this city on fire?"
"You really want to find out?" Remy quipped.
"Who cares? I say we ditch the Firebug and leave him here," Sabertooth snapped. "He's been nothing but trouble this whole stupid trip. We're better off without him!"
"How can you say that?" Piotr frowned in disapproval. "We can not leave Pyro here in this time period."
"Why not?" Mastermind grumbled. "It's better than bringing him back with us to ours. This way he will never be able to come back. Magneto would probably approve."
"But what about the timeline?" Remy asked. "Pyro could have a catastrophic effect on the future if we leave him here."
"Oh come on. How much damage could he possible do?" Mastermind trailed off and thought for a moment. "On second thought..."
"Oh crud, you're right," Sabertooth growled reluctantly. "We have to take him with us. Otherwise he'd end up wrecking everything!"
"Yeah, forget the Dark Ages. The Pyro Ages would be the real downfall of civilization as we know it," Remy quipped. "C'mon. Let's go find him."
"Good," Piotr nodded in relief. He stepped out of the alley only to see a multitude of people filling the streets. "Uh, where do we look first?"
"Um, good question," Remy blinked. "Sabes?"
"What?" Sabertooth grunted. "I don't know where the stupid Firebug went."
"Can't you track him by his scent?" Mastermind asked.
"I could if my nose didn't still have the burned remains of Chicago clogging it up," Sabertooth snapped at him. "Gah, it's even in my mouth!"
"Well, looks like we do this the old fashioned way," Remy clasped his hands. "Literally. Let's plan to meet back here in an hour. Or at the nearest building that suddenly bursts into flames. Whichever comes first."
"Okay," Piotr sighed as the Acolytes split up.
"Boy, what a neat place!" Pyro strolled around a large market square several blocks away from his teammates. Shops, houses, palaces and churches lined the perimeter while a huge Renaissance-style cloth hall dominated its center. Merchants, entertainers, nobles and peddlers flowed among the stalls offering everything from armor to silks, from leather to spices. "Can't wait to see what kind of snacks they have around here. Maybe I can show some of these blokes how to barbecue. Hey, a bakery!"
Pyro skipped into a small shop that had baskets of rolls and buns sitting around. "Hi there! My name's Pyro! I'd like some doughnuts!"
"Co?" A bearded, middle-aged man stared at him in confusion while standing behind a counter. He wore a large apron while punching down some dough. "Co powiedziałeś?"
"Doughnuts!" Pyro made a ring-shape with his hands. "You know, things like this?"
"Masz na myśli obwarzanek?" The baker indicated an O-shaped bread roll large enough to fit around his wrist.
"No, not like that. I'm talking doughnuts. Smaller, sweeter, sugarier...oh never mind," Pyro slipped behind the counter. "I'll make my own."
"Hej, uciec stamtąd...ahhh!" The baker yelped as Pyro casually shoved him aside.
Pyro grabbed some strings of obwarzanek hanging from the ceiling and quickly tied up the baker. "Don't fret, mate. I'll be done in a jiff."
"Pomóże! Niech mi ktoś pomoże!" The baker tried to break free, but ended up falling into a corner.
"Pipe down there, mate. This'll just take a tick," Pyro grinned stepping over to the dough and began forming it into doughnut-shapes. "Let's get cooking!"
Piotr sighed as he made his way down the semi-crowded streets of Kraków. Many of the male passersby wore highly decorated robes, vests, sashes and waistcoats in a variety of bright colors. The females wore skirts, blouses, and aprons in an assortment of intricate patterns. At least I do not stand out too much around here, Piotr thought while wearing his acquired frock coat. Neither would Pyro even with his pack.
Piotr stopped at an intersection and scanned the street in multiple directions. This is taking too long. Maybe someone has seen him. Piotr walked up to one well-dressed man who appeared to be some kind of official. "Excuse me, have you seen a red-headed boy wearing a strange backpack around here?"
"Co?" The man frowned at him in confusion.
"Oh, sorry." Piotr remembered he was in Poland. He decided to take a chance and repeated the question in Russian.
The man blinked at him for a moment. "Ahhhhhh!" He shouted and hurriedly ran away from Piotr. "Pomóże! Rosjanin! Rosjanin!"
"Wait, come back!" Piotr called out and ran after him. "What did I say? I am sorry. I did not mean to scare you!"
"Pomóże! Rosjanin szpieg! Rosjanin szpieg!" The man stopped in front of a wide open training ground next to a large building that appeared to be a barracks.
"Rosjanin?" A company of soldiers turned to stare at Piotr, all of whom were armored, armed and in a few instances mounted on strong-looking warhorses. "Rosjanin! Wróg! Dostać go!"
"Oh dear," Piotr gulped as the soldiers advanced on him.
Remy casually glided along the street while taking in the many architectural aspects of the city. Baroque, Gothic and Renaissance styles flourished among the buildings, some of which were in the early stages of construction. Gotta love these old buildings with all their arches, ornaments and niches. They make 'em so much easier to scale and break into, Remy smirked while casting an expert eye over a large, formidable looking castle set upon a low hill. Maybe I'll have time to take a quick peak inside. A fortress like that must contain something worth taking...
NEEEIIIGHHH!
"Huh?" Remy turned to see a horse-drawn carriage speed down the street clearly out of control. People frantically dived out of the way to prevent being run over.
"Aie!" A young, moderately-dressed woman stood frozen in the path of the rapidly oncoming carriage.
"Hey, look out!" Remy dashed over and barely managed to knock the young woman aside. They both hit the ground and rolled away as the horses and carriage quickly sped off.
"You okay, mademoiselle?" Remy asked as he carefully helped the young woman to her feet.
"Och dziękuję," The young woman gazed up at him dazedly. She had shoulder-length auburn hair, grey eyes and a smooth, pale complexion. "Uratowałeś mnie!"
"Sorry mademoiselle, but I don't understand a word you're saying," Remy smiled while slightly shaking his head.
"Dziękuję bardzo," The young woman smiled back placing a hand on her chest. "Nazywam się Maria."
"Marie," Remy repeated Frenchifying her last word. He realized she had introduced herself. "Sounds nice. I don't think I've ever met anyone with that name before."
"Mówisz zabawny. Chciałbym cię lepiej poznać," Marie smiled taking his hand. "Proszę iść ze mną."
"I still don't know what you're saying mademoiselle, but lead on," Remy grinned moving next to her as they began to walk away. Maybe I'll have a chance to use my limited Polish after all...
"Stupid Firebug," Sabertooth growled as he angrily stomped down a dirty part of the street. "Stupid city. What kind of place is this? I've gone down two blocks already and haven't seen a single bar yet!"
"AAAHHHHHH!"
An armored soldier flew through the air and crashed into the roof of a nearby shop.
SMASH!
"Huh, sounds like somebody's having a good fight," Sabertooth grunted tilting his head. "Think I'll check it out and try turning it into a great one."
CRACK!
"Huh?" Sabertooth frowned at the noise and turned into a small alley.
"Zobacz, co zrobiłeś?" Sabertooth found himself at the rear of a large stable containing a score of horses waiting in stalls. At the end of one stall stood a fancy, noble-dressed man holding a small horse whip with water dripping off his clothes. Lying on the ground in front of him lay a small, six year old stable boy. "Głupi dziecko! Zniszczyłeś moje ubrania!"
"Aiiieee!" The boy screamed as he was whipped. An overturned water bucket lay nearby.
"Głupi dziecko! Nieostrożny nieszczęśnik!" The man cursed at him.
Sabertooth's eyes grew cold as he watched the scene, an old memory surfacing in his mind:
"See what you've done?" A large, frightening figure holding a thick belt loomed over a six year old Victor Creed. "You foolish child! You ruined my life!"
"Aiiieee!" Victor screamed as he was whipped. An empty water dish lay nearby.
"Stupid kid! Wicked wretch!" The figure cursed at him.
"ROOOAAARRRRRR!" Sabertooth leapt at the man and tackled him to the ground.
"Ahhhhhh!" The man screamed and gaped at him in terror.
"YOU LIKE HITTING LITTLE KIDS PUNK?" Sabertooth lifted the man up by his neck and dug his claws into his flesh. "WHY DON'T YOU TRY HITTING ME?"
"Accck!" The man gurgled as blood began to flow.
"O mój!" The little boy sniffed and gazed up at Sabertooth.
Sabertooth prepared to crush the man's throat, but paused and stared down at the small boy for a moment. "No." He withdrew his claws slightly. "I'm not gonna kill you."
"Gahhh!" The shaken man gasped for breath.
"You ain't getting off that easy," Sabertooth smiled at the boy before turning back to the man. He grinned evilly causing the man to whimper. "I've got a better idea..."
"Okay, so cooking the doughnuts that way didn't work," Pyro shrugged as he casually leaned against the counter. "I thought for sure you made doughnuts by boiling or frying them in water or something."
"Mmmfff!" The baker still lay tied up in a corner, now with a large roll stuffed in his mouth.
"Oh calm down mate and eat up," Pyro waved glancing at the oven. "I'll be done in here soon. Baking the doughnuts is bound to work. The fact they were all boiled in water for a minute beforehand shouldn't affect them too much."
"Here you are!" Mastermind entered the bakery and glared at Pyro. "What do you think you were doing running off suddenly without telling anyone?"
"Hey Masty!" Pyro waved at him happily. "Want a doughnut? The batch I have in the oven will be done in a minnie."
"What I want is to be back at the base with the rest of you clowns," Mastermind snapped irritably. "Which is something I never thought I would ever hear myself say!"
"Ohhh," Piotr stumbled through the door while in his armored form. His coat had been slightly scuffed in a few places.
"Hi Colossus!" Pyro chirped at him. "What have you been up to?"
"I had a small...incident with some of the local garrison," Piotr sighed in reluctance. "I think there may be conflict between Poles and Russians during this time."
"No kidding," Mastermind glanced out the door to see several dazed soldiers hanging from nearby buildings. "How many did you fight?"
"Oh, only about thirty or so," Piotr shrugged reverted to his non-armored form. "I tried to just toss them away without hurting them, but I may have overdone it. Some of them were very persistent."
"I see," Mastermind blinked.
"Yay! All done!" Pyro cheered removing the hot, fresh contents from the oven. He eagerly blew on one and took a bite of it before frowning. "Hey! This isn't what I wanted!" He unhappily tossed the rest of the ring-shaped bread roll aside. "I spent all that time making doughnuts and instead I ended up with this! What a bloody doonboggle!"
"Bouggle?" The baker had finally managed to free himself and curiously picked up one of Pyro's baked goods. He carefully took a bite of it. "Mmmm! Bajgle!"
"Yeah, yeah. I know," Pyro glanced over as the baker proceeded to marvel at his creations. "Gee, from the way the bloke's acting you'd think he'd never seen a bagel before."
"AAAHHHHHH!" A herd of horses stampeded outside in the market square scattering people right and left. Stalls and carts were knocked over and trampled as the herd thundered by.
"Wheeeeee!" A small boy laughed while riding on a young pony in their wake. The pony also towed a disheveled, once-noble-looking man behind it.
"Ow! Ow! Ow!" The man wailed.
"Way to go, kid! Keep it up!" Sabertooth laughed following after them.
"And there is something I have never seen before," Mastermind blinked at the sight. "Sabertooth?"
"Hey, there you losers are," Sabertooth noticed them and stopped outside the door. "Great, you found the Firebug. Let's go."
"Eh, why not? There aren't any good snacks around here anyway," Pyro sighed as the Acolytes left the bakery leaving behind a very happy baker.
"Where did all those horses come from?" Mastermind asked. "And what was that guy doing being dragged behind a pony?"
"He's learning a lesson," Sabertooth gave a wicked smile. "One he definitely deserves!"
"O-kay," Mastermind gulped as Sabertooth began to laugh evilly. "I don't think I want to know any more. Let's get out of here. Where's Gambit?"
"AAAHHHHHH!" Remy literally ran into Piotr while looking around with a very panicked look on his face. "HELP! SOMEBODY SAVE ME!"
"Never mind," Mastermind sighed. "Okay, what did you do?"
"Nothing!" Remy gulped and hid behind Piotr. "I just saved a poor, innocent femme from being run over by a carriage."
"And?" Mastermind raised an eyebrow.
"And...I might have tried to charm and flirt with her a bit," Remy admitted. "But for some reason she didn't seem to like it."
"Of course," Mastermind groaned.
"I don't know what I did to make her so mad at me," Remy gasped nervously. "In fact, there's only one other femme who has ever reacted to me like that..."
"Tam on jest!" A company of soldiers appeared around a corner and pointed at Piotr excitedly. "Dostać rosjanin!"
"Uh oh," Piotr gulped. "I think we really should leave now!" He grabbed Remy and Pyro and ran off into the market square.
"Hey, come back here!" Sabertooth roared as Mastermind followed after them. "There's no reason to run off like a lunatic!"
"Że jest jemu!" A mob of angry-looking horseless riders spotted Sabertooth while brandishing whips and horse brushes. "Pozwolił stracić nasze konie! Dostać go!"
"On second thought," Sabertooth turned and ran after his teammates.
"CIEBIE!" Maire burst out of the crowd wielding a very large sword. She chased after Remy with a look of pure murder in her eyes. "UMIERAĆ!"
"AAAHHHHHH!" Remy yelled.
NEIIIGGGHHH!
Horses continued to run about as the once-orderly market square turned into a madhouse.
"I knew it," Mastermind gasped as the Acolytes struggled to stay ahead of their three groups of pursuers. "I knew it was only a matter of time before we had an angry mob chasing after us!"
"I did not do anything!" Piotr protested. "Technically..."
"Neither did I!" Remy declared. "It was just a simple misunderstanding!"
"Just shut up and use the machine already!" Sabertooth snapped. "And don't tell me it's still in cool down mode!"
"It's still in cool down mode!" Remy shouted.
"I told you not to tell me!" Sabertooth roared.
"We really need to stop upsetting the locals everywhere we go," Piotr sighed.
"And to think we were worried about Pyro causing trouble!" Mastermind groaned.
Historical note: The first known written mention of the bagel appeared in Kraków in the year 1610 A.D. While the similar bread product obwarzanek or bublik had been created hundreds of years before, the exact origin of the bagel has never "officially" been determined.