A/N: Hey look! More than one review! I guess grovelling does work. ;) Keep it up, my friends, otherwise, you may find a very long wait for next chappy. :O (yeah, I'm threatening to take away chapter privileges. Best behave, y'all.) And something tells me you won't like that... ;)

HIMYMGleek: Thank you very much! I try. That and i do my homework on an almost daily basis. It's a lot of fun times and there's something really challenging about Ted's framing device. ^^ I think the whole point of this story is to illustrate how utterly ridiculous it really would be for this to happen in an actual aired episode. A girl can dream big though. (in the words of Barney Stinson: "yeah she would." ;) I will sit down and finish writing a Barney/Scooter bit and look back and think "that did not just happen..." And I do love myself some crying Barney. There's something very vulnerable and sweet about it. He's a sensitive soul, deep down under all that sex. Also, I'm glad you thought that was a good chapter cuz I wrote it really really late last night/uber early this morning and I thought I was just talking a lot of nonsense. So, I guess you heard it here: good stuff does happen after 2AM. XD

Jexi0322: You know what? Barney is so cute. Not gonna lie. ;) I'd sure like to think I write adorable Barney well... cuz that's my favouritest Barney! Yay! There's something really sad about him, with his screwed up childhood and such... It kinda breaks my heart a little. And yes, living with 36 guys has its merits. Like hanging off Barney's every word as if it were religion without looking like [much of a] freak. ;)

And... this is the part where whatever I had planned gets thrown out the window because Barney's been more susceptible to Scooter's advances than I expected. (funny how that happens... ;) ) . So there is no telling what the hell goes down from here on out... And that might just be weird stuff. I'm just as curious as you are. :)

"Ted!" Barney exclaimed, something not quite right about his voice as he raced in his stumbling way after me. I had been on the way to the subway to catch a train over to the university. The last person I'd expected to see was Barney chasing after me. On second thought…

"Ted! Teeeeed!" He continued on like this for quite some time before finally catching me, bent double in attempt to catch his breath. "Ted. You gotta help me."

I frowned. "Barney. I'm on my way to teach a class," I explained, trying to let him down easily with an absent point of my thumb behind me.

Kids, your Uncle Barney was once- how do I put this lightly? Well… an attention whore. We figure it had something to do with the fact that his mother, although a delightful woman, was too busy sleeping with random men to be a mom to him when he needed her the most. Suffice to say, if I told him I didn't have time for him, he'd feel pretty crushed.

"Ted, class can wait," Barney murmured concisely as if my job weren't at stake. As if being late to my own lecture wasn't that big a deal. After all, I'd already gained the reputation as that professor who walked into his first class half an hour late because he was being a complete jackass… I mean, who does that? I bet no other professor has ever done that. In the history of forever.

I extinguished a breath. "Okay Barney. But I only have," I checked my watch, simultaneously sucking in a breath. "A minute. Go."

Barney puffed out his chest all self important. "I… have a problem."

"Yes…" I agreed gradually, wondering where he was going with this. "You have many problems, most of them having to do with your being too awesome." I put those last words in air quotes.

Barney smirked appreciatively at this. "Yeah." He cocked his head fondly toward the sky at the very thought. "I sure do. But Ted, believe it or not, my awesomeness as reached such a level that I will literally explode."

"You wanna get rid of Scooter," I ascertained without any delay.

"Yes! Ted, yes! See, this is why you're my best friend and not Marshall." Somewhere out there, on the fifteenth story of a GNB building, Marshall Ericson was weeping. "See, Plan A was that I sleep with him. Plan B was… well… I never actually got that far. But I can't, Ted. I just can't. What does one do with someone you sort of kind of like having around more than the usual one night stand but only for the occasional cuddle and kissing session? And maybe if I got really lucky, take them to brunch?"

Kids, that one really made me laugh. "Barney, what you're describing is a relationship. A real honest to God relationship."

Barney scrunched up his face. "You mean it's not all about sitting around being boring and useless and the total antithesis of legendary?"

"No, Barney, it isn't," I sighed. Whatever preconceptions Barney had of coupledom was pretty skewed. It always had been. "You've been in a relationship before. You know what it's like."

"Yeah… and it sucked," Barney shrugged nonchalantly.

"No, Barney. You haven't been with someone this intimately since you and Robin broke up. "You need to let your inhibitions go. If you really like this guy, you should just be yourself. No lies, no tall tales, no multiple personalities. Just you. And if he loves suited up Barney, he will love… whatever other Barney is underneath."

"You're absolutely right," Barney exclaimed, in such a way that stated he'd just had a massive epiphany. I made to add on to my little speech when he cut me off. "I have to sleep with Robin!"

~.~.~.~.~

Kids, it's times like these where you really wonder what just happened and how you got there. More than anything, I wondered how on Earth I'd led Barney to believe that hooking back up with Robin was even remotely a good idea. I mean, sure, I love Barney and I love Robin, but together? Besides, if this was any indication, Barney had no interest in a relationship and Robin… well, Robin was still recovering from a break up. Where sex would seem like a nice short term way out, it wasn't sensible. It wasn't fair to even think about taking advantage of her like that. This would just make an already complicated situation even worse. And I couldn't let that happen.

What I wondered at the time was why was he running from Scooter? I mean, yes, admittedly, this was all my fault, Barney getting himself into hot water with another man who ironically had fallen head over heels in love with him. A part of me saw a piece of Barney who genuinely felt something for the guy. That part of me saw that he was scared. Scared of committing to a man for the first time; to another human being for the first time in months. That was bound to be hard for your Uncle Barney. Women were the only things he knew and he knew them inside and out (unfortunately, quite literally).

But whether he (and the rest of us) liked it or not, he was in a relationship with another man. And he had to grow up and accept the consequence of his actions. At what point could I stand up and admit to Barney that this was all an elaborate prank played by me? The only thing was, Scooter was too genuine in his part. Way too genuine. I guess maybe we should have let him in on the challenge, huh? Or is that just the dumbest idea on the face of the planet?

Yeah, I thought so too. The whole point of all this was for Barney to learn to be more empathetic to people around him. And he was just getting there. He was so close. He couldn't just pull away now.

This was so typical of Barney too. As soon as he began to feel something for someone, he pulled away. Either that or made up some sort of excuse ending in "because I'm awesome." He never owned up to what he felt. Hell, it took locking him in a room with Robin for a whole day to fess up to his feelings for her, and even then, he still denied it. It made me seriously wonder what would happen if we locked him in a room with Scooter for a whole day.

And that's when it hit me.

A/N: I'm either way to tired/lazy to finish that thought off or I thought it'd be a decent cliff hanger. So I'mma go with that second one. As always, Read and Review. You will be duly rewarded. :):):)