MANDATORY AUTHOR'S NOTE: Sorry about my freak out in the last chapter, I just wanted to be firm with ya'll. Also, I had writer's block, but now it's gone and I'm back! This chapter is pretty short, like super short, but I really wanted to open up the can and let out the plot bunny! Thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far, and all of the people who support me and my writing. You guys are all my friends, and I love you! ^.^
DISCLAIMER: This disclaimer applies to the entire story. Kingdom Hearts and any and all things having to do with it do not belong to me. However, the plot and plot events are entirely MINE, along with the band Destiny's Embrace, the use of the word Hikari as a name, and the characters' personalities. Also, I did a thing down there in this chapter, using Namine's line from Chain of Memories. You'll know it when ya see it, hehe.
NOTES: This story is rated M. This chapter, however, has no inappropriate parts. There is some cussing, but nothing too crazy. Like I said, this chapter is pretty short, lol.
ENJOY!
~x~
Chapter Ten
~x~
Kairi repeatedly pounded her head against the wall of the Art room as her friends looked on, groaning and mumbling obscenities mostly involving Sora under her breath. She slowly turned around and glared at Namine.
"So you're telling me that it's perfectly normal for a guy who hates you to try to get it in, and then freak out and basically run off?" She shot the blonde a deadpan expression and put her hands on her hips.
Namine shrugged and dipped her paintbrush into the yellow paint. "Yeah? I guess. I don't know—you and Sora are a special case."
Olette rolled her eyes. "Chyeah, a special case of crazy."
"Olette!" Namine scolded as she put the brush to the canvas. "I'll grant you that their 'relationship' is rather skewed, but I wouldn't go so far as to call it crazy."
Kairi scoffed. "Oh, please, Nami—anyone with a set of working eyes can see that Sora and I are the definition of crazy. We're crazy fucked up, and there's no solution." With a loud, heavy sigh, she plopped down into the seat next to Fuu at the table.
Fuu gave her a sympathetic look and patted her comfortingly on the shoulder. She opened her mouth to say something, but was cut off by Olette.
"So he just like, left you there? What did he do? Did he go home?" she asked, taking a small bite of her sub sandwich. She wiped a small bit of mayo off of the corner of her mouth with her thumb.
"No," Kairi replied. "He slept on the couch. But when I woke up, he was gone. I guess he probably called for a ride home. That's what Vanitas did."
"Yeah, but Vanitas is a douche bag, Kai," Namine said pointedly as she painted. "Sora and you have like, a history or whatever. They both did the same thing, but for different reasons."
"Twins," Fuu supplied.
"They'll both probably do it again, you know," Olette said with a small smirk from Kairi's other side. "You're quite the popular girl around campus."
Everyone turned to look at her in surprise. This, apparently, was news. Kairi hadn't been the "hot topic" of gossip in weeks—it was halfway through October, and all Kairi could hear people talking about were different Halloween parties and plans and things. Could Sora have perhaps told everyone about what had happened between them?
Could Sora have perhaps told everyone the truth about Hikari and what had happened to her?
Kairi went pale.
"Why am I popular?" Kairi asked worriedly. "Why, Olette? What is everyone saying about me?"
"Yeah!" Fuu exclaimed.
"Olette," Namine warned when Olette gulped visibly. "You'd better spit it out right now, or else I'm going to paint your entire face bright green."
Olette looked alarmed. "Bright . . . Green?"
Namine smirked. "Like the grass that grows on my motherfucking lawn, Olette. Don't test me."
"Okay, okay!" Olette exclaimed. "Jesus, Nami, you're scary."
"Spill!" Fuu snapped, slamming her fist on the table.
"All right already!" Olette whined. "It's nothing dramatic, it's just . . ." She winced and said hurriedly, "Sora'sgirlfriendmayhavepubliclydeclaredyouhernumb eroneenemy?"
Everybody blinked.
"Okay . . . What?" Kairi frowned.
Olette growled, "Sora's girlfriend Xion has been telling everyone she's going to beat your ass for causing so many problems with Sora. Apparently somebody told her they saw you guys at like, Target or something, and he paid for your groceries? What was that about?"
Kairi flushed bright red. "It was nothing—my card got declined so he paid for it."
"How much was the total?!" Namine gasped.
"Like a hundred," Kairi said in a dismissive tone, trying to sound as though she could care less.
"Kairi!" Namine set her paintbrush down. "No wonder Xion hates your guts! A hundred dollars is a Hell of a lot of money to give someone who isn't your significant other."
Aw, come on!" Kairi protested. "He didn't give me a hundred dollars—he bought food from a store, and that food just so happened to make its way into my cupboards."
"Don't be a smart-ass!" Olette cried. "And in any case, that's not the issue here! The issue is that Xion is going to beat the shit out of you when she sees you!"
"Oh, she is, is she?" Kairi snarled, hopping to her feet in a fit of indignant rage. "I may have been moping and depressed the last few weeks, but I will kick her sorry little ass. Where is she? Let's go."
"Whoa!" Fuu rushed to bar her way, shaking her head. "Don't!"
"Don't go actin' all wild now, Kai," Namine advised. "Xion's small, but she's definitely not someone you should mess with."
The redhead whirled on her. "So what? I'm small, too, and I will fuck her up."
"I don't doubt that," Namine chuckled. "But I don't think you should risk anything. No only could you get in major trouble for fighting, but don't you think that'd piss Sora off?"
"So I'm supposed to just let her run her mouth?" Kairi was seething with rage. "I'm not a little bitch, Namine; I should at least stand up for myself."
Kairi brushed past a stunned Fuu and blazed her way out into the hallway. Lunch was almost over and Kairi wasn't sure whether or not Xion would be in the Cafeteria, but she headed in that direction nonetheless. She was absolutely full to the brim with anger. Since when did she get so weak as to let girls like Xion talk shit? Kairi wasn't a weak girl. If Xion wanted to fight, then Kairi was going to defend herself and fight back.
Fuu, Olette, and Namine walked alongside her, each one silent as the grave as Kairi ranted.
"She wants to run her mouth all over the school? Fine. She can run her mouth. And I can put my fist inside of it and knock her head off of her shoulders. I don't give a fuck. She's pissed I went to Target with Sora? Well, she'd be pretty fucking pissed to know he got me naked, we made out, and he fingered me."
"Jeez," Fuu winced.
"Too much information," Olette added.
"I second that," Namine laughed.
"This fucking slut," Kairi muttered, shaking her head as she stomped down the hall. "She thinks she owns him? Like, what the fuck? I was his best friend since we were fucking eight. I know him like the back of my hand. He's not her property, and he hates when girls are catty and talk shit. How can he even date her? Ugh, God, disgusting."
They entered the Cafeteria and like a ripple effect, the loud chatter of happily munching teenagers turn into hushed whispers. As if that weren't proof that Kairi was once again Public Enemy No. 1, all eyes were on Kairi and her three friends, but Kairi had eyes for only one table.
Sora was sitting at the table in the furthest left corner of the room, flanked by Tidus and some of his other friends. Kairi didn't know which one of the girls that was at the table was Xion, but she was sure going to find out. And since everyone's eyes were on her, she was definitely glad she'd chosen to curl her long hair and wear a dress and high heels.
Kairi drew her shoulders back and click-clacked her way across the Cafeteria as if that shit were a runway. She knew Sora was watching her, but she didn't care. She knew who Xion was now by the way she was glaring at the redhead.
Xion was obviously some sort of Asian and she was indeed tiny, automatically making Kairi's temper flare with envy. She was gorgeous, with big, angled azure eyes, a pretty mouth, and ebony hair that hung in thick luscious locks to her rear end. She was dressed to kill, and her makeup was flawless. When she looked at Kairi, it was with an expression of disdain that said, "This is her?"
"Have you been talking shit about me?" Kairi snarled, putting her hands on her shapely hips and trying to appear more confident than she really was.
"Maybe," Xion smirked. "Have you been hanging out with my boyfriend?"
"Maybe," Kairi shot back, casting Sora a passing glance. He looked angry, and Kairi was sure it wasn't at Xion's behavior. He was wearing a maroon V-neck and light blue skinny jeans, looking attractive as fuck as usual, and his spiky hair was all sorts of unruly.
"You might as well just go away," Xion said with a yawn, turning her attention back to her food. "I'm not in the mood to play with you today."
Kairi and Namine exchanged incredulous glances, and then surprisingly, Namine was the one who made the next move.
"Get your skinny ass up off of the seat before I make you," she hissed, taking a threatening step forward that caused Xion's friends to bristle.
"Why?" Xion asked, arching her eyebrow. "You want to fight?"
"I want to wipe the ground with your face!" Kairi shouted angrily. "Get the fuck up!"
The look on Sora's face was one of definite shock, and Kairi had to force herself not to smile triumphantly. Bet he didn't think that she'd be so feisty, now did he?
Xion's eyes darkened and she slowly rose to her feet and crossed her arms over her chest.
"I'm only going to say this once, so listen up," she challenged, slowly walking forward until she was toe-to-toe and nose-to-nose with Kairi. "Stay the fuck away from my boyfriend, or I'm going to make you wish you had."
"I'm so scared," Kairi said sarcastically, shoving Xion away from her. "I'd like to see you try, little girl. What are you, twelve?"
Xion tossed her hair over her shoulder. "For your information, I'm sixteen. And I won't try. I will. I will beat. Your. Ass."
Kairi glanced over her shoulder at the fucking infuriating smirk that was playing about Sora's lips, and she exploded. If it weren't for Olette and Fuu jumping to action and grabbing Kairi's arms, she would have landed a royal punch on Xion's small nose.
"Let's just go, Kai," Namine sneered. "She's not worth it."
"Yeah, run away like a little wuss," Xion said smugly, moving to sit on Sora's lap. She crossed her legs and wrapped an arm around her neck, pulling him to her in a fiery kiss. He was obviously surprised by the way his body went rigid and his eyes shot open, but Kairi didn't notice any of that. All she saw were the lips that she wanted more than anything to be kissing again . . . Kissing someone else. God, she loved him so much, and the memory of their brief tryst in her bedroom was burning her up inside.
Tears filled her eyes and she went limp in Olette and Fuu's grasp. This time, when she spoke, it was to Sora and it was something that only she and he would understand.
"Nobody gets left behind, right Sora? Or was that just dust in the wind?" She choked on her words and started to back up.
Sora's eyes went wide and he pushed Xion off of him. He looked genuinely shocked that she would bring that up—the Sophomore class camping trip where they both vowed to stay in each other's hearts so that if one of them got lost in the woods, the other would always be able to find that person.
"K-Kairi," he stammered, earning himself an enraged glare from his girlfriend.
"I'm not in your heart, Sora," Kairi said weakly, still backing up. Everyone was still listening and watching their exchange, but she didn't care. She wanted Sora to know that as angry as she was at Xion, Sora still had the power to bring her to her knees.
"Kairi!" Olette cried as Kairi's tears started to spill over.
"I'm not in anyone's heart!"
Kairi turned and ran out of the Cafeteria, feeling as if she had lost more than she could afford to lose and had only made things worse for herself. The bell rang and rang again, but Namine, Olette, and Fuu ignored it, cornering her in the hall and dragging her to an empty classroom to comfort her. She cried for most of the next class period, refusing to explain what she had meant by what she'd said to Sora, and asking herself repeatedly why she had even bothered to come back to school for her Senior year.
Sora had her in the palm of his hands, and he didn't even realize how much power he held over her. Seeing him kissing Xion, glaring at her, knowing that he hated her in spite of the fact that they had kissed . . . It was unbearable. All of it was beyond unbearable. It was times like these that she wanted to disappear—times where her heart felt like someone was squeezing it in an iron grip and not letting her breathe.
Times like these that she just wanted to die.
~x~
Kairi waited until her friends were out of sight before she turned and made her way to the girl's bathroom. She knew she couldn't afford to skip another class (especially not Home Ec), what with the icy way her mother had been toward her lately, but her emotional state was much too low to sit at a desk and try and pay attention to horseshit for an hour and a half.
'God, I hate this,' she thought miserably as she locked herself in a stall, much like she had on the first day of school. She hated how whenever she tried to be strong, it backfired on her, and she ended up a tearful, blubbering mess. Seriously, how embarrassing. Why had she said what she'd said to Sora? Why did she have to bring that up? That moment for Kairi and Sora, it was monumental—like signing the Declaration of Independence. Every time she tried to push it away, it just came running back at full force with every intention of rendering her senses useless.
And the look on his face. The look on his face. It was the first time he had looked genuinely affected by something she'd said to him since he'd started hating her. Even the night he'd slept over at her house he hadn't looked so emotional. Sure, he'd been angry and dare she say passionate, but he hadn't looked so . . . So sad.
When was this all going to end? The lies, the hurtful words, the fighting, the hatred . . . Kairi just wanted things to go back to the way they were, even if it meant that she had to go back to living with her parents and . . . Riku.
Kairi shuddered and wiped tears from her eyes. No. She would never sink so low. She loved Sora, but to go through that torment again just because he didn't believe that Riku had actually been sexually abusing her . . . Well, that was just fucked up.
Fuck, why couldn't Sora just trust her? He had repeatedly stated that "she wasn't there for him," but she didn't even know what he meant by that! What could she possibly not have been there for him for? She had always been there for him! And the one time she needed him most, he couldn't even deliver.
Something was definitely up, and Kairi had absolutely no idea how she was going to find out what.
With a sigh, she came to the conclusion that it was probably smart for her to just go to class. Running away and hiding wasn't getting her anywhere. Sora didn't care if she was hurt or sad. Sora didn't care about her at all. It was better for her to gather her wits and appear strong for prying eyes. What she needed to do was go to Home Ec, look Sora in the eye, and act as if nothing had happened between them. It was more important for her to make sure they were working on the project than for her to be crying in a bathroom stall.
Kairi blazed into Home Ec with twenty minutes left in the period, her head held high and her eyes carefully avoiding Sora's. She took a seat at her desk after explaining to the teacher that she had been feeling sick, and immediately got to work on the assignment everyone else was doing. Apparently, there was to be no partner work today, as the state was requiring some sort of assessment to be completed.
As the sounds of pencils scratching paper filled her ears, Kairi chanced a glance in Sora's direction. Her heart skipped a full two beats—both he and his friend Tidus were staring right back at her! She quickly looked back down at her paper and pretended to be fully invested in it. When she snuck another peek, Tidus was all but grinning like a madman and Sora's expression was pale and drawn. Had what she'd said to him in the Cafeteria really bothered him that much?
Kairi couldn't help but feel her stomach flutter in excitement. The possibility that maybe—just maybe—things might be changing between them was nothing short of exciting, and it made her want to jump on top of her desk and start dancing. But seeing as how she couldn't do that, she settled for a mental victory dance.
She gazed absentmindedly at her forearm, where long sleeves were covering her cuts, and sighed. Was that where the change in Sora had begun? When he'd asked her what happened to her arm? But no . . . That couldn't be it . . . He had told her that if she had cut herself, then she was "stupid," so he couldn't possibly be looking at her like that because he actually cared . . .
Could he?
Slowly, Kairi lifted her gaze from her upturned forearm in her lap and looked in Sora's direction. It took all of her inner strength to keep her eyes from popping out of their sockets.
He was staring at her, his cobalt blue eyes wide and accusatory as they shifted from her face to her arm and back again.
He knew.
Sora knew.
Just then, the bell rang and everyone scrambled to gather their things and leave. In a panic, Kairi shoved her notebook into her backpack and tried to push her way through her classmates. Knowing Sora, he would try to corner her in the hall. Whether it be to yell at her for starting an argument with his girlfriend, yell at her for cutting herself, or yell at her for existing, if he caught her, he would yell at her.
"Kairi! Wait up!"
At the sound of Tidus' voice, Kairi was so stunned that she halted in the doorway and turned. She cast Sora a wary glance, and then frowned at his friend.
"What?" she grumbled irritably.
The blonde grinned lopsidedly. "You feelin' any better?" he asked. "You told the teacher you were sick."
"I'm fine," she said curtly, unable to keep the suspicion out of her eyes. She never had been able to understand why all of Sora's bandmates were nice to her when Sora himself hated her so much.
Tidus rubbed the back of his neck and looked at Sora.
"Well," he said slowly, "we were just a little worried, what with Xion declaring 'girl war' against you, or whatever."
"Why?" Kairi felt so uncomfortable.
"Well, because—"
Sora cut him off. "Look, Kairi, quit being a bitch for like, one second. Are you okay, or not? Because you're wasting our time."
Okay, so the douche bag Sora was back.
"I'm wasting your time?" Kairi scoffed, looking him up and down incredulously. "Excuse me, but you guys are coming to me, asking me if I'm okay. So check your facts, asshole."
The redhead started to walk off, but a hand around her hurt wrist immediately caused her to halt. She cried out in pain and yanked her hand backward, whirling around to glare at whoever had grabbed her.
Sora's expression would have melted the Polar ice caps.
"Playing with Memory, huh?" He arched one eyebrow and crossed his arms.
All of the color in Kairi's face drained and she clutched her arm close, as if he could see all of the horrendous wounds that lay there. Her heart was beating nearly into her ears. He knew. He just . . . He knew. What was he going to do next?
Tidus frowned. "What are you talking about, Sora?" he asked.
"Kairi." Sora's voice was harsh and firm as he blatantly ignored his friend. His gaze was relentless, and Kairi had to look away. She felt as if she were on a pedestal, naked to the air and being judged. How could this have happened? How could she have been so careless when he was at her apartment, wearing a top that showed her arms?
"I have to go," she said quickly, turning to leave.
Sora reached for her hand again, but Kairi's temper flared.
"No, Sora!" she cried out, ignoring the silence that fell over the hallway full of students. She looked Sora directly in the eye, feeling hurt, confused, and defensive. "You don't get to do this to me. You don't get to just act like you care all over again."
Sora flinched as if he had been physically hit and his eyes flashed. "I'm not acting, Kairi. Look!" He grabbed her wrist and dragged her forward. She was so small and he was so much taller and larger that she stumbled and fell against his chest. He caught her with ease, held her arm up for view, and pushed her sleeve back in one swift, fluid movement that left her head spinning with the strength of his grip and the scent of his cologne.
"Kairi!" Tidus gasped in horror, moving closer to look at her wounds. "Did somebody do this to you?"
Kairi whimpered, feeling more exposed than she ever had in her entire life. What in the Hell was Sora doing? Who did he think he was? She tried desperately to get out of his arms, but he wouldn't allow her to. He was so close to her, looking at her with so much anger . . . It reminded her of . . . Of . . .
Riku . . .
Kairi burst out crying and began to pound her free hand against Sora's chest in a display of emotional rage. Everyone was staring at them in shock, but it was as if the two of them were in a whole different world.
"Let go of me!" she shrieked. "Let go! Let go!"
"What the Hell, Kairi?!" Sora pushed her away to keep her from hitting him again, glaring fiercely.
"Just stop it!" Kairi wailed, staring up at him in despair. "What I do or don't do to my body is not your fucking business. You can't just take someone's heart, stomp all over it, and then pick it back up when you feel like it, expecting it to be okay."
Sora was dead silent, so Kairi took the opportunity to make her leave. She stormed off, her heels sounding unbearably loud against the floor, trying her best not to become overwhelmed by the amount of attention she was receiving. Nobody was bothering to hide the fact that they were gossiping about her. Loudly. Kairi's anxiety was at an all-time high; any more of this shit, and she would surely fall apart.
Kairi headed to her car, careless of the fact that she would probably be in trouble with her mother if she skipped the rest of the school day. Her cell phone was ringing off the hook: it was Sora, texting and calling like a maniac, and it was making Kairi feel as though her entire world had turned upside down.
How could this be happening? How could he be acting like this, like he actually cared? She just didn't get it. She couldn't figure out when things had changed. Had it been when he'd kissed her? When she'd told him about Hikari? When he'd seen her cuts? When?!
Kairi sobbed uncontrollably into her arms on top of the steering wheel. She couldn't handle all of this. She couldn't handle the fact that she just couldn't understand Sora. She couldn't handle not having him in her life, and she couldn't handle having him in it, either. Everything was fucked, and everything was going to continue to stay fucked.
The "circle of life," right?
~x~
A/N: Yeah, I know. It wasn't super fantastic, but at least I let you know that something craycray is about to happen. Anyway, leave a review! And again, thank you to everyone who has review, favorite, and followed this story! I love you all! ALSO, I promise the next chapter will be better, hah. I'll pack it with some more lime-y action! –wink, wink-