I am Katniss Everdeen. I am seventeen years old. I am the girl on fire. I am the mockingjay.
And I hate saying goodbyes. Peeta was curled up next to me when I woke up. His arms were around me, and I would be happy just to stay like this forever. I slipped out of bed and began to put on my uniform. This one was more militant than the everyday where. The charcoal colored slacks were crisp, and the lighter colored shirt was stiffer. I put on the boots I was given during training.
Peeta got up and put on his clothes from yesterday. He looked at me then he opened my drawer. He got my locket that he had given me in the arena. He put it on me. Then he turned me in his hands. "Remember that you have to come home to us. Me, your family and Gale."
I opened the locket and showed it to him. On the side where Gale was, I have a picture of Peet. "Gale is still in there. He is just behind your picture."
Peeta grabbed me and squeezed me in his arms. I don't know why that meant so much to him. "I want to go see Johanna before we leave today. And I think you had better get back to your room before they start searching for you."
"Haymitch already found me." He said in return. He pulled a note of his pocket and handed it over to me. He was smiling like a fool.
Peeta or Katniss, whoever reads this first,
I hope you two are being careful.
Haymitch
"Being careful." I probably looked as confused as I felt. "You haven't had an episode since the nurse. I think I am pretty safe with you now."
"Katniss," he chuckled, "You are so naive when it comes to some things. He means with what we are doing." When I just stared at him he added, "You will end up with child."
"Oh." It was all I could say. I didn't ever think about it. "Oh." I said again. It was really all I could say after that. How could I have been so stupid? I hadn't been careful at all. I was the one who didn't want kids ever. Of course I was never in love before either. And now I know that life will be different when we beat the capital. Still the future is uncertain.
I put my hand on my stomach. It wasn't just me that mattered anymore. Not that I could know if I was with child, as Peeta put it, but I had a feeling I was going to need to stay alive now. More than for just me or Peeta. More than for my mother or Prim. For my future, whatever it might be.
I walked with Peeta until we got to his room. Then I kissed him on last time.
I continued my walk to Johanna's room. I heard her talking to someone.
"Promise me you will come back to me." She said.
"I promise, Johanna." Then Gale put his hand on her cheek. He leaned down to her and kissed her. He was still in his regular day clothes. As hard as it is to tell one day from another on those grey clothes, I could see the slept in wrinkles on his pants. He had stayed the night with her.
I was furious. And I know I have no right to be. Thinking about how I spent my night entangled with Peeta enjoying my love for what might be the last time. Annie and Finnick had been doing the same, I am sure. So why shouldn't Gale be given that same courtesy?
He leaned over and kissed her again. They were really deep into it when I decided to walk in the room instead of just turning and leaving. I made sure to make my footfalls loud as I came in the room say, "Johanna, are you awake?"
Gale pulled up to stand immediately. "Gale?" I looked him up and down. He could tell what I knew about them with just a look. "Why aren't you dressed and ready to go? I think we leave in 30 minutes." I was being a spiteful friend, I know. I turned to Johanna then. "I am really sorry I didn't come see you last night." Then I turned and walked out.
Gale came after me. "What is your problem with this?" He asked. I could tell he was frustrated.
"I don't know, Gale." I decided being honest was best here.
"She said she asked you. You said we were just friends."
"We are," I hissed. "I told you I don't know why I am mad." We were walking very briskly so by now we were in a completely different hall. We were well away from the hospital ward altogether.
He grabbed my arm and stopped me. He turned me to face him. I know there were definitely flames in my eyes now.
"Katniss Everdeen, the girl who was on fire," He said almost sneering at me. Then his mouth was on mine. There was something fueling me to kiss him back. I think it was mostly anger. Maybe there was part of that other Katniss still in me. The one who would always be stuck in her old life. The one who was stuck in the Seam, with the man that came with that life. And then it hit me, I love him. I love Gale.