Hi everyone! I ve been really busy with university, girlfriend , work and all but I managed to get this chapter done! I m really excited about the story and the shape it s taking but mostly I m excited that you seem to like it , so thank you all for following the fic and reviewing it !
I will try to get more done as soon as possible!
Emiloud: Somos vecinas entonces jaja! Qué bueno que te gusta el rumbo que está tomando, siempre quise que Rachel sea algo menos ingenua en sus manejos y pocas veces encuentro un fic que capte eso, sin contar la serie en donde constantemente la castigan por ser como es, es una suerte darme cuenta por los reviews que hay más gente que buscaba eso y que yo lo estoy pudiendo captar acá.
Qué edad tenés? Acabo de ver que tienes tres historias de Glee en progreso, en estos días las leeré y tendrás mi review para ellas. Un beso grande desde Buenos Aires =)
Renata: Thanks for your review, I think it what you ve said was very important to the upcoming chapters haha. I m trying to show how Quinn struggles with the possibility of liking a girl , I know I may portray her as a bitch sometimes but always keep in mind she means well . And I m really happy you like my not that forgiving Rachel, I always thought she was supposed to be like that, you ll see more of that. And I hope to see more of you around thanks!
Iamirreplazable: I will upload as soon as I can, promise ! This week whenever I thought of the story I remembered this review haha
The slap hit Quinn hard in the face, her cheek went red within a second, but the blonde felt it was no time for shock or pain, as she quickly realized Rachel was leaving in one big and major storm out. The blonde tried to go after her, but the door was soon blocked by Puck.
Sorry baby mama, I m not letting you go, what you said back there was way out of line, you don ´t get to tell her anything else.
Puck, please let me go thru – Quinn spoke softly , the tears were running thru her face
I m sorry Q, but I really don t think it s a good idea
I didn´t ask you if it was a good idea Puck! I said a horrible thing and I need to apologize to Rachel right now!
Quinn started sobbing hard and no one was really sure what to do, everyone seemed to be still in shock because of what the blonde had said and because one Rachel Berry had actually slapped somebody, and that somebody turned out to be one of the scariest girls at school.
Santana, step up and stood beside Quinn
Come on Q, go after her, you need to apologize for what you said, cause we both know you ve said some shit. Puck let her go. She is really sorry, otherwise we wouldn´t see her crying like this, believe me.
Puck seemed unsure, but I took one death glare from Santana to move aside and allowing Quinn to go thru.
Quinn started running furiously towards the exit in search for Rachel, but when she got to the parking lot it was only to see the diva driving fast to the main avenue and getting lost in traffic.
She was late, awfully late, and she didn´t know what to do. She felt awful, she hated herself, and now she knew, like if it had been obvious all along: Hurting Rachel felt like the worst thing in the world.
Quinn had seen it, before the slap, when Rachel had turned around in order to hit her, she had seen the hurt in the brunette s eyes, she had cause it, it wasn´t like before, like those times she had passed by Rachel holding hands with Finn, or whenever she had nicknamed the diva, those times felt different, Rachel would look at her like a wounded deer and she would look at Rachel with pure despise.
Not this time, thought Quinn, this time the hurt in Rachel s eyes was another kind, it was deeper, that kind of look that means you actually pushed it too far, and you ve probably hit an old scar that stills burns. Rachel had look at her with so much grieve, and with so much hate at the same time, Quinn had seen it all within a second. Then, the slap came
"Very well deserve if you ask me " - The inner voice was right this time, and maybe other times too, but this was not the moment to think about that, right now Quinn had to decide what to do. She couldn´t go back to the choir room, she was ashamed, she had been a bitch before, but never like this, these were the kind of things that showed people s true colors, these were the kind of things that spoke for themselves, this proved Quinn Fabray was nothing but a miserable human been and pure evil.
"This only proves Rachel s right, I m miserable and I m unable to see her happy" - it was a bitter thought, but right now It was the closest explanation to the horrible thing she had said.
"I need to apologize to her" – right there Quinn realized she was still holding Rachel s notebook in her hand, with everything that had happened in a minute, she had forgotten that stealing the freaking notebook was the thing that started it all.
Quinn contemplated the notebook for a moment, she couldn´t open it, not now, not after…
She would return the notebook to Rachel and she would have the brunette known that she hadn´t seen what was on it, yeah…that s what she would do.
"But how?" - Now she was sure the diva wanted absolutely nothing to do with her, she had said it even before Quinn said that thing she said, and it sounded like she meant it, so right now Quinn thought she was the last person in the world Rachel would like to see.
" But I need to see her" – The inner voice was taking over, and honestly Quinn was unable to fight it, she needed to see her, she did, she had no idea what to say , but every inch of her body was aching to see Rachel, to beg her for forgiveness, to hug her
" to really hug her" - Quinn flinched at the thought , it was such a powerful thought , it scared her to death and before she even knew it she was walking to her car, she was starting the engine and she was driving towards Rachel´s house. She knew where Rachel lived, because she had specially found out about it back in the days where Finn and Rachel were dating. Quinn would drive pass the house in order to see if Finn s truck was parked in the driveway
"It was because of Finn, always because of him" - Quinn was in deep thought as she was driving – "It was because I wanted him…it had to be "– she sped up, she wanted to get there fast, in order to stop thinking.
In about 20 minutes she was stepping out of the car and staring at the big house in front of her. She suddenly felt kind of lost, she hadn´t actually thought what she wanted to say, or even if Rachel would want to hear her, probably she wouldn´t, what if she wasn´t home?, what if she was with Emma?, what if her parents were home?
Quinn felt terrified, she had no idea if Rachel had told her parents about the terrible things she had gone thru at school, and specially , she had no idea if she had referred to the blonde as her main tormentor, as her cause of tears , sadness and grieve. Quinn felt terrible; she wanted to punch herself on the stomach
"Why do I feel like this? Why it felt so wrong to make her so upset?" – She had no idea what it was, but she felt like she had to fix it, she had to let Rachel know she hadn´t meant it, none of it. So if that meant stepping over her fears of running with Rachel s parents, or even of facing a furious diva, or a loving girlfriend, she would do it.
So she walked up to the door and rang the bell.
What she saw next, was not something she was expecting at all
There, standing before her, was Mr. Lavender himself.
Quinn was not able to say a word, so Mr. Lavender did it for her.
- Hi Quinn! It s so good to see you!
The blonde had to make a true and real effort to speak
- Hi Mr. Lavender! what …
- Am I doing here? I came to drop Emma off and Rachel s parents invite me over for a drink, everyone is at the back yard , I offer to get the door
- Oh! Is Rachel there too?
- No , she s not, we are all waiting for her, she is suppose to be at school for at least another hour
Quinn suddenly remembered they have both ditched Glee Club so Rachel wasn't able to return home this early if she didn´t want to get caught. Then, Mr. Lavender spoke again
- You ditch last period? It s kind of early for you to be here as well
- Uhm , yeah I didn´t go to school today – she lied in order to cover up for Rachel, the last thing she needed was something more to feel guilty for – I came to ask Rachel for some notes but I forgot about last period
Mr. Lavender seemed not that amused and Quinn knew he hadn´t believe a single thing she was saying, he could read her like a book.
- So, you came to ask none other than your nemesis RACHEL for notes huh?
Quinn had to look down before answering - "It s so obvious that s not what I m here for"
- Yeah Mr. Lavender, that s right. I happen to hate her but she happens to have the best chem. Notes in the history of high school.
- I see. Okay , let s say I believe you.
- I wouldn´t see why not
- You ve been crying Quinn
- It s allergies. The weather hasn´t been my friend lately - she was a quick liar, even if Mr. Lavender didn´t buy a word
- Allergies huh? And what had you storming off of my house last time I saw you? Where that allergies as well?
Quinn felt her body being set on fire, she had forgotten about last time she had seen Mr. Lavender, she had blocked it out of her mind, to her it was like some lost memory of somebody else s live, but she owned him some kind of explanation for that, even if she didn´t have an explanation for herself.
- About that, I m sorry, I don ´t what came over me, I really don´t , I was very confuse, I m still very confuse and I don ´t … - Quinn started to cry again and before she knew it Mr. Lavender hugged her and she was sobbing like crazy
- Shh shh It s okay Quinn, it s gonna be alright, trust me – Mr. Lavender was whispering and his tone of voice was calming and comforting
- How? How is it ever gonna be alright when I have no idea what s going on with me?
- You ll figure it out, and you will fix whatever s wrong. I trust you Quinn, you are a smart, loving person, and you just need a little push sometimes.
- I m really sorry for not calling you again
- It s okay Quinn, I understand
- You do? Cause I actually don´t, I have no idea what was the reason I left the house the way I did – Quinn was crying softer but she was still on Mr. Lavender s chest, she felt safe there.
- Well, I may have some thought on why you did it , but I doesn´t matter what I think, what it matters is for you to realize what is it that you want for your life and to hold on to whatever makes you happy
- But what if I never know what makes me happy?
- You will find it out Quinn, believe me.
They stayed like that for a few minutes, in silence. Finally Quinn broke out of the embrace, feeling very embarrassed
- You must think I m nuts now. I m so sorry for everything, I really hope we can still…be friends
Mr. Lavender smiled warmly at her before answering
- Of course we can still be friend. You made quite an impression in my family. My wife s been asking when are you coming over for your next storm out!
- Oh my god! – Quinn brought her hands to her face, she couldn´t believe what a fool she had made of herself
- It s a joke Quinn! They all loved you! It would be great if you could come over again. And If you can ´t , well, there´s always Oliver s
- I know, I swear you will see more of me Mr. Lavender, I was really embarrassed and I m kind of an ass when it come to explaining, apologizing and those things
"Only those things? " - The inner voice was kind of loud and violent today, she deserved it anyway.
- Don t you worry about it Quinn!
- Dad, what s taking you so long? - Emma s voice was heard from the backyard and
Mr. Lavender could see the flash of panic that went thru Quinn s eyes, so he rushed his answer in order to prevent her daughter coming to the front door
- It s a book salesman, I m just seeing his offers honey! I will be there in a second
Quinn heard Emma walking away and she released a breath she didn´t know she was holding
- Thanks , I m …I wasn't …
- I said I understand Quinn, more than you know – Mr. Lavender smiled with a knowing smile
- I should go
- Yeah, I m believing the notes can wait?
- Yes, they can. Thank you Mr. Lavender – The blonde gave her friend a firm hug before running to her car without looking back.
She still had the notebook in her power, she could have dropped it off with Mr. Lavender, but she didn´t feel like it, she had to give it to Rachel herself. She started driving, thinking where she could find the brunette, but she realized she had no idea; so she tried for several common places, she went to the Lima Mall, which was kind of small, she went to some cafes downtown, she drove pass the cinema to see if she would catch her there, nothing, so , defeated, she drove to the park in order to sit quiet for some time, perhaps to read a little.
She still didn´t know what to do with Rachel, but she knew she couldn´t keep looking for her randomly, besides she would have probably been home by now, it was way passed the hour she was supposed to arrive from Glee to her house, so the diva didn´t have to pretend she was still at school. Quinn didn´t feel like going home, she didn´t want to find the house empty and she didn´t want to talk to her mother either, or anyone else for that matter. She thought about going to Santana s , but she knew Brittany and the Latina wouldn´t keep it together, and they would ask her a tones of questions about earlier, so she discarded the possibility quiet fast. The park was her safest choice, she wouldn´t have to talk to anyone and she would still see people, cause four walls and herself weren´t an option right now.
So she parked his car, walked to a bench near a lake and pulled out her latest book, but when she was about to open it she suddenly spotted her.
There she was, it had to be her, sitting under a tree, near the lake and staring into the water.
"Oh my god! It s her! What on earth is she doing here" - Quinn was out of her mind, Rachel was five feet away from her, and the brunette hadn´t notice her presence. So she had two options, to come forward and talk to her, or to runaway.
"Come forward" – The voice commanded and Quinn had to obey
She walked up to where Rachel was, she didn´t want to scare the diva so she cleared her throat as she was getting to the tree, Rachel looked up and saw her, Quinn could see how her eyes were puffy and red and it killed her inside.
She didn´t sit and Rachel didn´t get up. No one said anything, and Quinn was starting to feel desperate, so she spoke
- Hi Rachel. I m…I ….I looked all over town for you today …I didn´t expect to find you here, but I m glad I did, I wanted to say I m really …really sorry for …uhm…for what I said today . I was a bitch, I was a total bitch, you didn´t deserve that and you know I said it out of anger and you know it s not true
Rachel was not looking at the blonde, she kept staring to the water and It made Quinn extremely hard to go on, cause she had no idea if this was going somewhere or not
- Anyway…I wanted to say that and also I wanted to give you your notebook back, I didn´t open it, I wasn't really planning on it…I don t know what I was thinking Rachel, I m sorry, I just wanted you to speak to me again…I …..I m really sorry.
Quinn was looking down now, her face was bright read and she had no idea if the diva was looking at her or not, but she felt the need to keep on speaking, she had this sudden clarity, this thing she had to say and could not help to say
- I want to talk to you Rachel; I would like to try to be your friend. I want to make amends for what I have done to you, not just for today but for everything, I will make amends for what I have done, I swear, just, let me be close to you …please?
"Where the fuck is this coming from? I don t know…I just want her to look at me, to talk at me again, I ll do anything"
- I ll do anything- Quinn repeated her last thought in an almost whisper.
Rachel didn´t speak, she just stood up and looked harshly at Quinn, who had her hand extended to the diva, with the notepad at the end, Rachel took the notepad and slapped Quinn again.
- Thank you – She said afterwards and then, took off.