Author's Note: / wipes tear ) All these faves and follows. My heart, guys. You make my heart so happy.
Demona Evernight: I definitely want to do that sometimes but I have the right moment for that. Sorry, but omg. Wow, I'm glad I updated now. I just saved myself from being eaten.
It felt only yesterday but it truly had been four. Four days and three nights ago, there had been an attack on Bran's life. Luckily, the worst hadn't happened for Lady Catelyn had managed to keep her son safe, but it was Bran's direwolf that truly saved them both. She didn't come out of the fight unscathed unfortunately, but the wounds were not severe. She would live. It had been only a stroke of luck that Amara was the one to find her with the woman's hands dyed red with her own blood and some of her attacker's on her lips. The cuts in her hands and fingers were deep, so deep that they reached down to the bone. Her cheek was even red from where she had been struck, and it would swell greatly if hadn't been tended to quickly. Amara, in that very moment, had thought the woman looked so fragile yet overpoweringly strong all at once. If there was strength in fragility, that was what Lady Catelyn certainly embodied.
The sight of the scene was hair-raising. There had been an unsparing amount of bleeding from the open and fatal wound; a great missing chunk of flesh in the assassin's neck. Despite her fear of the direwolves, the healer was all too grateful of it for coming to their rescue. It hadn't made her less wary of them however. In fact, it made her eyes train on the heavily whenever they were in her field of sight. She called for someone to come to the scene whilst trying to calm a very startled Catelyn. Jon was the one who heard her by pure chance and he dragged the corpse out of the room. Her only guess of Robb's lack of appearance was that he was still at the library, helping putting out the fire.
Maester Luwin rushed his way too, giving Lady Catelyn milk of the poppy due to the extremity of pain she felt. They stitched her and applied poultice, working individually on each hand to shorten the time. The drink had made her sleep for four days and for four days, Amara never left the woman's side. It had been out of fear that she hadn't left, Amara worried that there would be another person in a coma and she couldn't bear those pains of uselessness all over again. No matter how illogical it was for her to think that the outcome would be like Bran's, nothing surprised Amara anymore now. She had been extra cautious and never regretted being so.
Eventually, the woman did wake. For the first time since Bran's coma, she ate and walked around, letting her skin feel the rays of the sun and inhaling crisp, outside air. Lady Catelyn had requested space though during her time alone, possibly to ponder over what exactly happened and try to find an explanation. In light of things being scary in Winterfell, making everyone seem suspicious and loyalist trying to make safety a priority for the Starks. Amara knew better than to follow the woman around or suggest anything while she was like this. Lady Catelyn was an intransigent person and would be annoyed, greatly, to have someone constantly at her heels.
After a while, she told them to meet with her in the Godswood. Jon was excluded, for obvious reasons, but he would know the details of what was said here for Amara already promised him that. As they attended this meeting, Jon just kept on with the appointments that Robb couldn't fulfill at this meeting and made himself stay completely out of Lady Catelyn's sight as he always done since that conversation in Bran's room.
"What I am about to tell you must remain between us." The Godswood always felt still, but the severity of the situation had made it even more so. It was natural to feel tense right now, for her to want seclusion and so little people around. "I don't think Bran fell from that tower. I think he was thrown."
Amara's eyes went wide at the accusation but she couldn't help but feel it to be true. After what happened three nights ago, how could it not be? The fire, that came from thin air, had a purpose; a reason to be in that moment. It had was obviously an excuse for people to be in a frenzy while Bran remained helpless in his room; alone, asleep, and an easy kill.
"The boy was always sure-footed before." Luwin said to Rodrik, seemingly in alliance with Catelyn's claim. Amara was still lost in her shock, wondering just why someone would want to harm Bran; a little, tiny boy. What had he done to warrant someone to assure his death by assassinating him? It did feel like a repeat of last time, of when that man poisoned Arya under the orders of a bastard by the name Snow. Could it be this Snow person again? Did he want to kill the Starks children that desperately?
"Someone tried to kill him twice. Why?" Catelyn's voice shook with anger, "Why murder an innocent child?" Although her eyes were like ice, there was a flame dancing across them. "Unless he saw something he wasn't meant to see."
Theon looked as startled by the revelation yet was much more curious to stay in state of confusion. "Saw what, my lady?"
"I don't know." The healer lowered her eyes, swallowing thickly due to the woman's words after. "But I would stake my life that the Lannisters are involved. We already have reason to suspect their loyalty to the crown."
For one, Amara hoped that Tyrion wasn't apart of this conspiracy. She rather liked him and especially enjoyed their last conversation. It didn't seem right to think he would be involved either. He just didn't seem to have much of a clear motive in her mind. The Queen? It was possible as well as her twin knight. Then there was the whole lot of them ( the Lannisters ) that were squires and other rankings that had to be taken into consideration too. There were too many people to easily point the blame on but none with evidence against them yet.
"Did you notice the dagger the killer used? It's too fine a weapon for such a man." The dagger that the assassin wielded was in Ser Rodrik's hands. Amara glanced over at it, watching him unsheathe it as he gave them a detailed description. "The blade is Valyrian steel, the handle Dragonbone." He slid it shut in its scabbard, "Someone gave it to him."
"They come into our home and try to murder my brother." Her eyes slowly looked over at Robb, pained by the expression he wore but unable to pin the entire blame of the Lannisters like they did. They had no idea who really done it and so how they could throw blame? The Starks had their issues with the Lannisters but she had none, so she could not be so blinded. "If it's war they want—"
The healer stiffened at the mention of war. War? Nothing good ever came out of war. You would think her main fear would be about how much she hated taking care of soldiers or how frightening it would be to be in the middle of it. Yet, all her mind could really focus on was that Jon could die. After she begged Jon to not go to the Wall, to stay here in his home of Winterfell, how could she allow him to go to war? 'No!' She thought, loud in mind but silent outside it. She would not lose Jon like this. If there was something she could do, something that she could say, then she was absolutely willing and bold enough to do it. But what? What could she do or say? A simple no wouldn't suffice. Her head felt heavy and overwhelmingly empty. Amara had to be quick about this or she'd lose the very thing she wanted to desperately keep close.
Theon was all too eager though, feeding Robb's fury of vengeance. "You know if it comes to that, I'll stand behind you."
"What?" Luwin wasn't convinced nor enthused. He kept his calm unlike Amara who stood with eyes big, searching in a frenzy, and her heart about to give itself out. "Is there going to be a battle in the Godswood, hm?" For the first time, the kind old man looked much too serious. His eyes were narrowing as he spoke to Robb with his usual modulated voice, "Too easily words of war become acts of war, we don't know the truth yet."
"I agree with the Maester." The words left her quickly but she did not regret them. Amara had already gathered her composure before she said it. She stood pertinacious with her expression quite void of anything but her resolve. All eyes were now on her and the only kind ones seemed to be Luwin's. Amara looked at each and every one of them without fear or letting herself feel weighed by their stares, "He is right. We do not know the truth." She applied pressure to his point, "Lady Arya's life was in danger before, was it not? How do we know if it isn't the same man? We cannot forget that."
"I've never forgotten that." Catelyn's eyes looked sharp like the edge of the dagger in Rodrik's hands, which made Amara go rigid and almost wished she kept her mouth closed.
It wasn't something she could bring herself to do though; being quiet and cowardly subservient at a time like this. Swallowing the lump in her throat, she looked back at the woman, unruffled. "I know that, Lady Catelyn, but I just fear for you. You could have died and the last I, or anyone else, would want is for you to be put in danger again. We also have to consider the fact that many people have come to Winterfell as of late. We cannot be all too sure of who the dagger truly belongs to."
The Tully-born woman had softened her icy gaze before giving an understanding nod. "I thank you for caring about me, Amara, but trust me when I say that the Lannisters cannot be trusted. You do not understand that much about them so I see how unbiased and pure in thought you are."
"Not to mention she has taken a likin' to the Imp." Theon casually threw in, practically throwing her under the wagon. "I saw you talkin' to 'im as he was 'bout to leave."
As much as Amara wanted to give him a glare, she didn't allow herself to give him the satisfaction. Instead, she remained calm and honest, which was all she could really do in a situation like this. "Lord Tyrion is unlike many people." Her dislike for the word "imp" was made clear in that, "But he has been kind to me since I've met him. Although our conversations have been short and few, he does not seem the slightest bit of suspicious in my eyes." Folding her hands, she straightened her shoulders a bit to appear more poised. "I could be wrong, I openly acknowledge that. Lady Catelyn is right about me not knowing the history. I am foreign, it was never ingrained in me to learn the stories and songs of Westeros. So I am truly ignorant, of that can be said and confirmed true, but I think I'm quite capable of reading people well."
The ward wasn't all too enthused by her defense. Instead, he frowned some before looking back at Robb, who was giving Amara a rather questioning gaze. It was as if he wasn't fond of the idea that she had come to Tyrion's defense. "I'd like to think the same, Amara, but you never be too sure of anything nor anyone in this world." Luwin said, showing her his support. She smiled at him some before he turned his head to look back at Catelyn, "Lord Stark must be told of this."
His statement was met with doubt, "I don't trust a raven to carry these words."
"I'll ride to King's Landing." Robb quickly offered.
It was a good thing his mother didn't agree with it. "No, there must always be a Stark in Winterfell." Unfortunately, what she replaced him with didn't sit well with them either. "I will go myself."
"Mother you can't—"
"I must." Once she insisted so fiercely, you could not convince the woman otherwise.
"I'll send Hallis with his guardsmen to escort you." Rodrik said, the safety of the Lady Stark was paramount, especially if what she suspected was true.
Not liking the measures, she refused to that suggestion. "Too large a party attracts unwanted attention. I don't want the Lannisters to know I'm coming."
"Then let me accompany you at least." Ser Rodrik insisted, "Kingsroad can be a dangerous place for a woman alone." Catelyn looked to Luwin, who gave a quick nod in approval. With hesitance, she nodded too, seeing that this would be the safest thing.
"What about Bran?" Amara could hear the shakiness and how unnerved he was. Robb was Lord of Winterfell now and also a worried older brother whose mother who was going to venture dangerously to King's Landing. All of this was a bit too much for him but Amara could find no words to make his nerves easy. It was his responsibility now, that was all that could be said as nothing could be done.
"I have prayed to the Seven for more than a month." His mother's eyes steadily looked into his own, "Bran's life is in their hands now."
Robb's expressions changed, acknowledging the reality of it all. "Above of all," Amara cleared her throat as she spoke up, "we must assure Lord Bran's safety. If there was one killer, who knows if there could be more."
"You're right." Catelyn nodded, her eyes looked back to her first born. "So long as my husband is away, my son is the Lord of Winterfell." Both women kept their eyes fixated on him, "You must give the orders to Hallis."
Straightening his back to make himself stand at full height, he made himself phlegmatic. Catelyn felt a flush of pride at her son as he told the orders that he would give to Hallis. This was all a test run to be approved by his mother. "I'll put one guard in the sickroom, night and day, one outside the door, two at the bottom of the stairs. No one sees Bran without my warrant or my mother's."
"You must have it done now, my son." She urged him, "But before you do—"
"I'll also let his wolf stay in his room." He quickly suggested and his mother's nod was much more fervent, agreeing to that.
"Yes, do that." Catelyn wholeheartedly agreed.
Amara saw the look that Luwin and Ser Rodrik gave the eldest Stark. It was as if they saw the full transformation of a boy to a man. Not just any man either, a lord was now before them. All their eyes were glittered with satisfaction; inward approvals locked behind closed, unsmiling lips.
"I want your oaths." Lady Catelyn suddenly demanded, making everyone draw their eyes on her. "This is all theories, not truth. If even part of what I suspect is true, Ned and my girls have ridden into deadly danger, and a word in the wrong ears could mean their lives."
"Lord Eddard is a second father to me," Theon said, chest out with voice filled with conviction. "I do so swear."
"You have my oath," Maester Luwin gave a nod.
"And mine, my lady." Ser Rodrik added.
Lady Catelyn looked to her son, seeing as he hadn't spoken up so quickly like the others. "And you, Robb?" All her son gave as a nod of consent, but then all their eyes found their attention to the healer. "Amara?" The girl nearly jumped at the mention of her name. She wanted to tell Jon about this, but since he was not here he couldn't swear an oath. It was just her, only her, to be the bridge for him. Amara's eyes looked up to the bright eyes of Lady Catelyn's, her feet shifting to show her discomfort as she stood. Their eyes were locked, both trying to read the other, but it was Lady Catelyn who found herself finding the answer in the girl's eyes. "You want to tell him?" Him was perfectly enunciated since they all knew who this "him" was.
"He should know." Her voice was quiet, holding not a single will for argument but a surprising lack of confidence. "He is the Young Lord's brother, he loves him, and he wants to protect him as much as anyone else." It didn't make her feel good but she had to say it, "After all, it was he that helped saved Lady Arya too. He played a large role… Without him I might've never found the cure."
Robb's jaw set, wondering if his mother would deny the facts. Although he was not happy with the way Amara had presented it, throwing it in his mother's face what Jon did, he knew how unfairly harsh she was to his baseborn brother. Lady Catelyn's eyes turned gelid and Amara bit the inside of her cheek to fight the shiver of the chill the woman's gaze gave her. As much as she liked and respected the woman, she would fight for Jon as hard as she possibly could. It might make them strained. It might make Lady Catelyn not like her or even hate her, but Amara felt the risk rather worth it and she'd do it a hundred times over.
"Fine." Taut was her voice and the ice never left her eyes, "Be wise how you present it."
"Of course." Amara lowered her head in a compliant manner. Lady Catelyn looked her over, a deep frown frozen on her lips, just right before leaving. Her hands were fisting the ends of her skirts as she walked back towards the castle in a march with Ser Rodrik and the Maester following behind her.
It was silent, for a moment, until Theon felt the need to speak. "You might've thrown yourself in the river with that one, Amara." It was as if he found something entertaining about the situation or the position she put herself in. Amara hadn't let it bother her as she normally would, she just kept her eyes staring blankly at the ground that was covered with leaves all around. Her mind was too busy thinking and her body was feeling waves of relief that she had pulled through for Jon.
"I don't care." Robb noticed how drained she sounded then, the way her shoulders moved in the sluggish of shrugs. Her eyes looked heavy too as if her eyelids had weights on them. The healer still wasn't back to her regular self, it would indeed take a while. She was doing herself right, slowly but surely, but he feared that if the worse would happen she'd be unprepared. In fact, she might just fall out.
"That was bold of you." Robb decided to speak, making her eyes meet his so that she could give him her full attention. "My father doesn't even go against her wishes, let alone me, but you… You know you might risk losing her favor?"
"I. Don't. Care." Amara repeated, more steadfast than the tired tone she had before. The new lord was taken aback by the sudden attitude, eyes wide some and lips slightly agape. Even when they spoke as friends, Amara was never presumptuous but it seemed she had nothing to hold her back now. "It is my fault that Jon is here. I am the one who convinced him to stay." Amara couldn't help but to feel guilty. If war were to happen, if it proved true the Lannisters were indeed involved, she would know that it was all on her if Jon were to die. She'd like to believe that the Maester rid Robb of those thoughts completely, but who could be so sure? She wasn't in Robb's head. "What I don't understand is how you and your lord father spoke how grateful you both were that I made Jon stay," Her eyes looked at him accusingly, "but what was the point of it if I'm the only one defending him?"
There was a storm brewing in her eyes, feeling so angry because of her guilt of a possible future for Jon. "Did I make him stay just to suffer, my lord?" Robb frowned, deeply, at how weak in will she sounded but more so out of what she accused him of. It saddened him to see that she thought he didn't care about Jon. He did, he cared about his brother deeply, but he loved his mother. Just like his father, they loved Lady Catelyn too much, which meant sacrificing Jon for her at times. She shook her head, finding some flame of confidence. "No matter, I'll defend Jon. I'll defend him by myself and I'll defend him well. I don't need help. I never did."
With her anger still set in her features, she stormed off, leaving both Robb and Theon in the Godswood. Robb move to run after her but Theon gripped his arm, stopping him from doing so. "You know there's no greater punishment than pickin' at an angry woman, don't you? Let her cool off."
"Why is she angry with me? What did I do?" He questioned, eyes following her until she was out of his line of sight. His fingers combed through his hair in brooding, feeling some type of way now that he recalled her just calling him lord. There'd be no more Young Lord for Robb now or again from her. Just lord, Lord Robb. The difference wasn't drastic but he certainly felt that there was more distance with them now than there ever was before. It also didn't help how cross she was now with him too. What exactly did she want from him? It bothered him to know he made her so irate and there was really no solution.
"You think I know what goes on in a woman's head?" Genuinely confused that Robb asked him, he shrugged his shoulders while his expression was still one in a state of baffle. "I can't even begin to understand what goes on in my own."
Robb looked at his father's ward with a rather deadpanned expression, "Thanks, Theon. You've been quite the help." His voice was dripping with sarcasm before he stalked off. There had been a disconnect in his footsteps since he was wondering if he should find the healer or take Theon's advice by leaving her be. He kept going, unsure of where he truly wanted to go. He just had to go somewhere.
"What? Now you're angry with me?! Why is everyone so snappy today? Get laid, have a drink! Ain't no use being upset over lil' shit like this."
Amara didn't stick around to even watch the Lady Catelyn leave. In fact, while she aimlessly wandered to cool her head, she found Jon at the stables brushing the mane of his horse. Her lips curled upward at the sight, seeing that he looked untroubled doing such a easy task. Her steps started out fast but then slowed as she thought up an idea. She made sure that her feet were muted against the ground. Of all the times Robb and Jon liked to scare her, her vengeance was long overdue. When she was finally close to him, her dainty hands slapped his shoulders, making him scream with a jolt and drop the horse's grooming brush.
Her eyes squeezed shut in her fit of laughter, head tilted back as he whirled around to face her. She had not seen the menacing scowl he gave, the narrowing of his eyes nor the deep frown his lips made. Her eyes soon opened, her vision blurred by tears that pooled at their corners until she final wiped them away. The stables were filled with whinnys of horses and the sound of the healer's laughter that didn't seem it would end, ever. "Amara!" He practically shouted but tried to control his voice some right after. "That wasn't funny." Jon's face was red like the leaves of the weirwood tree, which made her laughter grow louder and continue. He was so embarrassed to let out such a sound or to show that he could be so easily scared.
Why did life always present the worse of himself in front of her? How come she could never see him after a fresh win in the training ring? Being freshly groomed or something that would make a woman find a man attractive or linger in their thoughts? Right now, he looked like a wimp. Before he was a drunk. Nothing ever seemed to right for him, he couldn't help but think.
"I'm sorry, but—" She was heaving now, trying to catch her breath while wiping away a few more tears that came, "I had to get my revenge. Next time, I'll get Lord Robb."
Her explanation hadn't doused his vexation. He just continued to glare until he found it in himself to get over it, "What are you doing here anyway?" He asked as he picked up the brush, wiping anyway any leaves or dirt that got on it with his leather, gloved hands. "You finished your meeting with Lady Stark?"
Her high spirits certainly died then. Her body couldn't even release another giggle and her eyes lost their lightheartedness. Her smile slowly turned into a thin line and into a unignorable frown. Jon worried by what such a transformation meant. "Mhm, did you see her?"
"She got her horse with Ser Rodrik. Robb, the Maester, Theon and Rickon saw her off." She nodded, "Why didn't you? Where is she going? Is she going to see Father in King's Landing?"
Amara's eyes observed the area once more, seeing if it remained empty with just the two of them. Her hand reached for his wrist, pulling him towards the area where the dogs were and the floor covered with hay. Jon blinked twice as he was forced to sit, the young woman kneeling as she faced him. "Lady Catelyn believes that one of the Lannisters are the one that pushed your brother from the tower."
"What?!" His voice was too loud, making the dogs turn and bark at the sudden volume of his voice. Amara clasp her hand over his mouth, his eyes wide and staring at her before giving a slow nod to say he'd be quieter. She removed it, giving him a hard stare in warning; telling him to not do that again. Clearing his throat, he looked around to see if anyone had heard before he began his question. "Why would she think that?" He finally questioned, voice quieter this time, once he saw it was still just the two of them and the stable animals.
"The woman doesn't trust the Lannisters, at all. I don't really know why to be exact, you might know more than I about your family's ill feelings towards them." Amara let out a sigh, gathering a lock of the ends of her hair to twirl around her finger. "They might not truly be the ones who done it. After all, Lady Arya was attacked before too."
Jon had become stern upon hearing her state that fact. He hadn't forgotten how the person who allegedly hurt his little sister was the one who shared his bastard name. "Did you tell her that?"
"Of course I did, but you know how she is." It made her want to roll her eyes with how obstinate the woman was, but what would be the point in doing that? "I tried to explain that to her but she is sure it is the Lannisters. Theon already questions my loyalty since he saw me talking to Lord Tyrion."
"Do they think he is the one who did it?" Jon furrowed his brows, unsure if he could believe Tyrion to be the one to push Bran. It didn't seem right or let alone make much sense.
Amara shrugged her shoulders, unsure of the answer of that herself. "I don't know, really." Her eyes looked around, absently staring at the dogs that laid about. "I hope it isn't Lord Tyrion, I actually enjoyed him."
His smirked some, "He's a funny, little man."
She nodded in agreement, "Indeed, but he also seems nice. I could be wrong… After all, it does make sense that someone pushed Young Lord Bran because he discovered something he wasn't meant to hear or see." The dark-haired Stark crossed his arms, leaning against the short wall of the stable divider while tilting his head. He immersed himself in deep thought, making Amara look at him quizzically. "What? Are you remembering something?"
"You know," He began, "I did find it quite odd that the Kingslayer didn't attend the hunt."
Her eyes widened some, "What? You mean to say that you suspect him?" She had heard that name for him quite a lot during the king's stay. It was until the name made her so curious that she had to ask Ros why they called him that. Ros informed her that he was given the name after he killed the last king, King Aerys II Targaryen or famously known as "The Mad King".
It hadn't made such sense to her, really. Why he was called Kingslayer. If he killed a man that was wickedly cruel, that wanted to burn and endlessly slaughter innocents, then shouldn't he have been praised? Why brand him with such a name? It was as if her mind skipped over the oaths he took as a Kingsguard. The ones that meant that he served his king until his final breath and never betray him. "But don't you find it strange he didn't go?"
"Maybe he just didn't feel like it." Amara shrugged nonchalantly, "Not everybody likes to hunt."
"He is in the Kingsguard, Amara. What if the king were attacked during the hunt?" Jon tried to make obvious to her, "He basically said let the king die by not going."
The recognition of that fact had alarmed her once she truly let it process. Her eyes soon went wide in thought, now becoming more and more convinced that he might've been involved; possibly the one to push Bran since he was so brazen. "But for what reason would he have to hurt him, Jon? That question still goes unanswered."
"Maybe whatever he stayed behind for, Bran caught him." Amara now felt stupid, mainly for not agreeing with Lady Catelyn back there about the Lannisters. "It might be a reach but it doesn't sound much like one when you really think about it. Lady Stark might've just been right about this one, Amara. Something about this makes me feel uneasy."
Gently massaging her temples, growing pained by the overflow of thoughts, she let out a much needed exhale. "And now Lady Catelyn is already gone. I can't even send her a raven about this." Her hands fell to her lap, wanting to punish herself with a headache if she were to get one.
"It is all speculation anyway." Jon's hand rested atop of her own, giving her some assurance. "She was already right to be suspicious of them. All we have left to do now is wait for the truth."
"But what about Lord Robb? He should know." She pursued. Withholding a theory like this that might prove true didn't sit well with her. They had to tell someone and Robb seemed like the right person. At least, in her eyes it did.
Jon shook her head, refusing indefinitely. "No, it is all theory, Amara. We can't spread this. We keep it between us until there is proof to our words."
Her smile was quick and less than happy. Laying her other hand atop of his, she made both of her hands give his a gentle squeeze. "Fine."
"Have you eaten at all today?" Jon chuckled as curled her lips in a slight snarl, sucked her teeth, thrown his hand back to his side now that he was beginning to nag. "You fasted for long enough."
"I did eat today." Amara answered matter-of-factly, huffing as she rose her head in delighted conceit. "So there you go!"
His brow rose, eyes somewhat hinting their skepticism. "And just what did you eat?"
"I had a bowl of chicken broth with lots of vegetables." Her smile was jubilant despite her relishing in proving him wrong. "Do you yield, Jon Snow?"
"I do. I yield" He couldn't help but to laugh, "I'm glad you're taking better care of yourself."
His concern had made her keep her smile. "I know you worry for me, but I am honestly getting myself better. I worry for you now to be honest. How many appointments did you have today? I'm sure the Maester gave you a lot."
"Not really." Mindlessly picking up some of the straws off his clothes, he glanced over at her. "The last thing to do, I reserved for Robb. It's about how much was spent for the king's stay. He was always a bit more savvy with coins than me, so he'd do a better job than I could."
The silence that crept up was comforting. Amara felt like in this stillness, this quiet peace, that she could easily fall asleep to, even if it was the stables. Jon's presence had become such an entity of solace that whether he spoke or not, she was blissfully content despite wherever they were. Her eyes openly stared away at him, watching him play with random straws of hay. He was piling them up, making a makeshift house.
"It's odd." She suddenly filled the silence with words, "For a wolf to be building a house made of straws."
Confused, he looked away from his fun distraction. "You're calling me a wolf?" Her head moved in a slow nod, confirming her words. "But why is it odd?"
"There's a story I heard that came from one of the free cities about a wolf that chases after a pig by blowing his house of straws down." Amara couldn't exactly recall the rest of the story or even the meaning behind it, but just remembered pieces.
"Did he catch the pig?" Now interested, he couldn't help but want to know the rest.
"No," She shook her head, "the pig ran away and went to another pig's house." That was it. That was all she knew.
Jon's face made her bite back a laugh because he looked so thoroughly confused and even a little angry for the wolf. "What? How is that even possible? The wolf can surely outrun a fat, little pig."
"I don't know!" She finally let out the laugh that was brewing, "That's all I remember of the story."
"I don't think I should like being compared to a wolf by you." Jon knocked the house of straws with a puff in a way to emulate the wolf. "You're afraid of them."
Her eyes lowered at this, pulling her knees up to her chest. "I… I have have a very odd relationship with them." She confessed, "Wolves symbolize a lot of things to us in Yi Ti, both good and bad."
"Let's start with the good." He suggested, making her shake her head with a grin.
"Wolves are used as symbols for our strongest men." Amara rested her head between her knees, staring at the ground while in thought. "The wolf symbolizes manhood, courage, teamwork, and strength. Only the best warriors of the realm could have the honor of bearing the mark of the wolf."
"What exactly is the mark of the wolf?" Surprised by clash of culture, he wondered if he could one day have it. "What do you have to do to obtain it?"
"You get a tattoo of a wolf's paw on your chest." A clear memory of the paw print on her father's flashed into her memory, making her hold her legs tighter. "A man only gets it when he prove his skill in things like sword-fighting, archery, horse-riding, and wrestling; fighter things like that."
"Then what's the bad side of wolves then?" After hearing that, he had a hard time believing that her fear for Ghost and the other direwolves made much sense. "The reason you're afraid of them, that is?"
"Usually, wolves were never seen but heard in Yi Ti. When you saw a wolf, you might not live to say you did. They would kill our livestock, just ruin our farms." Her voice grew tense, "And they would attack people, young or old. My people became so afraid of them at one point that we even gave them our dead to keep them away so that we had food to survive during harsh winters. We now even made it some sort of a tradition, crazily enough." Jon stilled upon the revelation, watching her eyes narrow in what looked to be anger. "My mother's body was given to wolves. I just can't imagine how they just… How they…"
There was nothing Jon could think of to say. He understood her fear of them now. Her anger towards them too. She may have not seen it but he was sure that every time she had seen the direwolves, she thought of them tearing apart her mother's corpse. If he knew before he would've keep Ghost away, he'd tell the others to be mindful of her pain too. The fact that she hadn't said a word and dealt with them made him feel guilty, especially when he tried to encourage her to pet Ghost.
"I don't hate them." He glanced up to see her pained expression gone, "I know that your direwolves did not do that to my mother, but I can't help but think about it whenever I see them."
"I can keep Ghost away from you. I'll tell Robb about Grey Wind and—"
"No." Able to smile despite the currents of rather sad memories in her head, she crinkled her eyes some in order to add more believability in her smile. "They are your wolves and this is your home. Ghost is a good direwolf, he has never been mean to me. It wouldn't be right for you to lock him away because of my morbid thoughts, Jon."
"But—"
"No." Her voice left no room for argument and he found himself quiet with eyes looking down. No matter how she was able to make that smile, sincere as it was, he couldn't gather any courage. Now that he knew the harsh truth of her fear, he knew he would never be able to stop thinking about it. He would look at Ghost now and then and see Amara's pain.
It almost made her wish she kept her mouth shut. Now he'd pity her, fret over her adamantly about it. Although it felt good to have that off her chest instead of hiding her feelings, she truly wished she hadn't said it.
"You know," She watched him lift his head to look up at her, "do you ever realize how grand our dreams are when we're young and how average they get when we get older?" She decided to change the subject, and she hoped he'd follow along.
His head moved in a rather slow nod, understanding completely what she meant. "I wanted to be like Daeron I Targaryen when I was young."
Amara couldn't say she recalled him. There were many Targaryens, far too many for her to remember every single one of them. "Who was he? What did he do?"
Jon was surprised she hadn't known about him at least. Maybe she didn't know too much about Dorne either, "He was the eighth king, only four and ten when he was made to sit the Iron Throne. He conquered Dorne at such a young age too. His councillors didn't believe for a second that he could do it, especially since even Aegon the Conqueror and his sister-wives failed twice. They had dragons and couldn't even conquer the city, so how could a boy king with just a throne do it? But guess what he told them, his councillors I mean?"
"What?" Amara echoed, curious and unable to figure it out much for herself. "What did he tell them? Get on with it."
Smirking at this, he recalled the memory from the book he read. "He said, "You have a dragon. He stands before you." He created the best war strategy and the war only lasted but a year. He made the Dorne lords bend the knee and unite all seven of the kingdoms."
"Wow," She mumbled, "but I suppose his glory ended while he was young too, huh?"
Jon's smile lessened some, his nod quite solemn. "That's why my Uncle Benjen thinks King Daeron is not so idol worthy."
"Does glory really mean that much to you?" Amara couldn't help but ask. She'd never forget his words: "Bastards can become something at the Watch."
He was quiet, thinking of how he should answer her. If Jon could truly have what he wanted, he'd feel nothing but guilt and contempt for himself afterward. She couldn't understand that. Nobody but bastards could understand it. If she couldn't give him empathy, would she look at him and say that it was stupid to want to be known more than Ned Stark's bastard? A reminder of when honor didn't really cross his father's mind to put his seed into some woman. "It's more than just glory. It's about having a name for myself than living in my father and brother's shadow. Every man wants their own legacy."
She gave a nod, understanding it from that light. It also made her feel remorseful too, now that she had taken that away from him. Jon could've become something that he was proud of but now all he would face is more of Lady Catelyn's scorn, his brother being Lord of Winterfell, and his father being Hand of the King. Jon may have helped around here, but who would say that he was good at fulfilling duties in pride? All because of her selfish desire to keep him close, she allowed him to have nothing of his own.
"You could go to the Wall, Jon." Amara couldn't look at him, she was too ashamed to. "You want to go, so why don't you? I don't need you here anymore. It's my fault that you stayed."
Her words did sting but the pain was small. Unlike the time when he first told her he was going, he could see how affected she was this time around. Her eyes wouldn't meet him, her voice didn't have an ounce of sureness. "I already promised you I would stay."
"You don't have to keep it anymore; you've already fulfilled it by staying when I needed you most." Usually she would put up a stronger fight, and she wasn't sure if it was because out of her wanting him to stay or because the guilt was too enormous.
"You may not need me now, but Robb does. My family does." Jon looked so sure, like he knew that staying was the best thing to do. "If the Lannisters are involved with Bran's condition, you never know what could come out of getting our justice."
"Lord Robb spoke of war." She blurted out, "Luckily the Maester calmed him."
His expression did grim some, eyes looking away in rumination. Amara hoped that he would disagree, that he wouldn't side with Robb on this. "It might just come to that." Her lip trembled but she bit down it to cease it. Amara eyes glassily forcing themselves to look elsewhere, forcing them tightly closed to stop any tears from falling. "For now, we don't know."
There was too much blood already on her hands and now it was up to the Gods if Jon's would be the next. 'The Lion-of-Night hates me so.'
:::
It was by the grace of the Gods that Bran had woken. The boy would live, crippled, but still alive. Amara could remember the tears of happiness that left Robb and Jon's eyes, and Bran smiling at Austin who nagged and nagged at him with tears falling out of his too. It was the greatest sight despite her wishing Lady Catelyn returned to see the boy with his eyes open. Rickon had abandoned her to be with his brother, which she understood and took no offense to. Amara was simply glad that the boy found his way and even found a name for his direwolf. Summer was its name now and Summer seemed to be the happiest wolf alive to see his master awake. There was a happy mood for the first time in such a long one, but it would end. Happiness never stayed for very long.
Even now as she watched from boy's room door, she listened to the conversation between Austin and Bran. Austin visited every day, vigilantly, but only after school. Amara hadn't been strict about his two-hour reading sessions since his friend just woke from a month and some days long coma. She would encourage Bran and Austin to read together, to which Bran didn't seem all that happy about. His moods would swing without caution, but what was to be expected? He couldn't walk, he couldn't climb, and so he was miserable lying in bed. All Austin was a distraction to him now and she saw the looks of envy as Austin moved about and gathered anything Bran asked of him.
"Austin," She heard the young Stark say.
"What?" She could've smirked at how his eyebrow rose in question, a blatant look of confusion on his face as he wondered what Bran was calling him for.
"Will you still want to be my friend?"
It had gone quiet and Amara felt her heart sunk. "What are you talking about, Bran?"
"We can't go on the adventure like we promised anymore. We can't do anything we usually do either. I can't walk, Austin. I can't do anything. I can't climb, I can't play in the Godswood… I can't do anything but lie here!"
"You really miss climbin' that badly?" Austin asked, his green eyes staring straight at Bran's.
"It's stupid, isn't it? Climbing is what got me like this but I miss it."
The blond shook his head, "It's not stupid." He shrugged, "It was somethin' you loved, right? Mother says the things we love can sometimes hurt us. Just because you can't do all that beside me anymore, doesn't mean I'll stop being your friend. You know, I can carry you on my back and we'll climb and run. Do whatever. We can go anywhere together still."
"On your back? You can't carry me!" Bran seemed almost flustered by Austin's bravado, but he couldn't help but to keep his smile.
"Yes I can!" Confident as ever, Austin puffed out his small chest. "Lord Robb and I have been sword practicin' for a long time now. My arms are gettin' bigger, y'see?" Rolling up the sleeves of his tunic, he showed Bran his skinny arms that he swore were swelled with muscle. "I'll be really strong, strong like Lord Robb and Jon. Strong enough for us to go anywhere and me fightin' everything that comes to harm us."
If it was possible, Amara's love burned more intensely for her son. She loved him but she loved him even more knowing what a fine man he was growing up to be. "I'll always be your friend, Bran." His voice softened some, lips still smiling. "You can't get rid of me that easily!"
She turned, ready to leave them, until she had seen Maester Luwin and Hodor coming up the stairs. Her eyes gazed at them curiously as Hodor smiled his usual, huge grin. "Hodor!"
"Hello Hodor, how are you?" She replied kindly, knowing he'd repeat his name again. He was a sweet giant, proficient in work and gentle.
"Hodor!" He replied, much more cheerfully this time. It must've meant he was doing well and that was enough to make her happy.
Her eyes then looked to Luwin, "Maester, you're here to take the Young Lord somewhere?"
"Ah yes," He gave a nod, "we have visitors. Were you made aware that Lord Tyrion has returned?"
Her eyes widened some, "Oh? No, I wasn't." Although she was eager to see the little lord again, she knew that Theon words might've resonated with a select few. If she went to see him, would they think her loyalty ceased to exist? It was stupid to her, she thought, for them to think she'd turn her backs on them for the Lannister. Loyalty was a rarity these days but hers never wavered. "I will go see him."
Luwin did not show her any distrust and he nodded, it was as if he knew she would. She smiled at him and received one in return before going down the steps of the hallway in a comfortable pace. Leisurely making her way to the Great Hall from the Great Keep, she caught wind of words from the semi-opened door. "—But not I, eh boy?"
As soon as she entered, her eyes were fixed at the sight of the accusatory stare Robb was giving Tyrion. "I am not your boy, Lannister. I am Lord of Winterfell while my father is away."
"If you are a lord, you might learn a lord's courtesy." Tyrion was in no way frightened by Robb's stare. He stood still, confident, just blatantly ignoring it.
"Lord Tyrion!" Her voice was meant for distraction, making all of whom was in the room look at her. Jon wasn't there, surprisingly, but she was sure he would be soon. "Nice to see you once again."
"Ah, the healer." His lips moved up in a smile, "What a joy to see you as well. I was almost thinking I wouldn't see be seeing you."
"I couldn't let that happen, now could I?" She joked, just to see his shoulders move as he snickered. At least the tension in the room died a little, but Robb was watching her every move as was Theon. She could ignore them just this once.
Hodor, Bran, and the Maester had entered the Great Hall. Tyrion looked at him in dimmed surprised, "So it's true, the boy lives. I could scarce believe it. You Starks are hard to kill."
His joke was a little insensitive, but Tyrion had no idea that his family were suspect number one. Amara was still unsure how to handle the information of Jaime being the one most likely to have hurt Bran. Jon made her not say a word for it was just speculation, but she had a hard time withholding this information, especially from Robb.
"You Lannisters had best remember that." Her eyes shot to look at Robb, seeing how cold and callous he was to Tyrion. It was strange seeing him act this way. "Hodor, bring my brother here."
Amara glanced at Hodor, smiling as he said the only word he seemed to know and make his way forward. He placed the small boy in the high seat fit for the Lords of Winterfell. It should've been odd to see such a young, fragile thing in a seat of power until she realized her brother was the same. There was never a time where she couldn't see anything and not see Naran along with it.
Her eyes cut to Robb, glowering almost as his animosity seemed so pointless. She understood it but she could not condone it. "You said you had business with Bran. Well, here he is, Lannister."
"My lord, there is no need for such hostility." Amara hated to be presumptuous, especially to Robb, but she couldn't allow him to be so bitter to someone who was yet to be judged properly.
"Hostility?" Robb echoed, his brows straightening and his eyes having this gloss of ice in them. 'Just like his mother…' She couldn't help but to think. "I believe you read me wrong."
She didn't look away, she held her gaze for a solid minute before looking back to Tyrion. He seemed amused, possibly by the fact that she so boldly in his defense despite her loyalty to the Starks. "You better not speak unbiased truth, healer. It might get you harmed." Her brow raised, slightly surprised that he was forcing her hand in letting Robb do what he wanted. Why wouldn't he allow her to come to his defense?
"I suppose." Finding no need to go against his wish, she lowered her head and folded her hands in front of her. It was a mousy gesture in such a situation but it was her favorite. It was her go to.
Tyrion turned to Bran, both his eyes fixated on him in deep observation. "I am told you were quite the climber, Bran. Tell me, how is it you happened to fall that day?"
Before Amara could make him back off on such a sensitive question, Bran spoke, "I never." He urged.
"The child does not remember anything of the fall, or the climb that came before it." Why did Luwin give that much information away? Was he prodding?
It seemed as though Tyrion accepted such an answer, "Curious." Was all he could say.
Robb parted his lips to speak, but before he could utter the words, Amara spoke instead. "Lord Lannister, what really brings you here to see the Young Lord?"
The Lannister saw her forced smile, the way her eyes seemed to say "focus on me". He had to give her credit, she really did look out for Robb, even when he was undeserving of her help. "I bring a gift for the boy." He smiled some, "Do you like to ride, boy?" He asked the young Stark.
"My lord, the child has lost the use of his legs. He cannot sit a horse." The Maester explained.
"Nonsense!" Amara's head moved in a curious tilt, "With the right horse and the right saddle, even a cripple can ride."
"I'm not a cripple!" How could he not be hurt by those words? If only Tyrion was a bit kinder…
"Then I am not a dwarf." But what could Amara say? The Lannister lord was quite blunt, too blunt. "My father will rejoice to hear it."
Her eyes narrowed some, warning Tyrion that he was being too cruel, too reckless with his words. With the look he returned her with, she could tell that he felt Bran must come to terms to such words in life. There was nothing good out of coddling him.
"The boy cannot use his legs to command the animal, so you must shape the horse to the rider, teach it to respond to the reins, to the voice. I would begin with an unbroken yearling, with no old training to be unlearned." Handing Bran a rolled paper, he gave the boy an easy smile as well. "Give this to your saddler. He will provide the rest."
Bran's fingers moved eagerly, unrolling the parchment and letting his eyes scan all over the drawings. "Will I truly be able to ride?"
"You will. And I swear to you, boy, on horseback you will be as tall as any of them." The healer couldn't help but smile at this. She hoped it was true that it was Jaime who pushed Bran and not the little lord. He was kind as she thought, and she hoped that he remained innocent in all of this. Tyrion and innocent? Such an odd combination, she couldn't help but laugh inwardly.
Robb, however, did not let this act of kindness simply go. In fact, he seemed confused by it. Curious to a certain degree, "Is this some trap, Lannister? What's Bran to you? Why should you want to help him?"
"I received a raven from your brother. Jon." Robb and Amara both seemed surprise, neither of them knowing that he had done such a thing. "And I have a tender spot in my heart for cripples and bastards and broken things. Where is he by the way? I was hoping to catch glimpse of him."
"My brother," the new Lord of Winterfell began, "is busy with appointments. I'll tell him of your arrival. Though I must admit, I may have been hasty with you." Reeling from shock, Amara turned to look at Robb, "You've done a kindness, and, well…" Clearing his throat some, he took on a much more regal stature. "The hospitality of Winterfell is yours if you wish it, Lannister."
Despite trying to do right, it seemed Tyrion wasn't so forgiving. "Spare me your false courtesies, boy. You do not love me and you do not want me here. I saw an inn outside your walls, in Wintertown. I'll find a bed there, and both of us will sleep easier. For a few coppers I may even find a comely wench to warm the sheets for me."
With that, Tyrion left and Amara found herself following after him until Robb stopped her in her tracks. "Amara, we need to talk."
The stern tone he used made her think this talk would not go well. Her eyes looked up to meet his and she couldn't find anything that could help her read him. "Whenever you wish, my lord." She bowed her head, bearing expression that was a mixture of confusion and chary.
"Now." It took everything in her not to sigh. She followed him out of the Great Hall, watching his pace since she walked behind him. He was definitely tromping, which meant she might hear an earful. Might being a rather hopeful term.
He led her to the Library Tower, which hadn't been completely finished since the fire. There was still work to be done but it would give them space to talk without someone listening since the workers would leave on his command.
Once they reached it, the room was emptied of all who was still repairing the damages. Robb quickly turned to look at her, studying her with his piercing blues, before he decided to speak. "Why do you defend Tyrion Lannister so much? And why do you support him more than you support me? How could you, my friend and a physician of Wintertown, show more loyalty to him than your own lord?" The accusations were flying out of nowhere, and she found herself completely stunned by the end of his questions.
"I defended him because you were in the wrong, Lord Robb." She spat, getting over her shock as well as annoyed by how he seemed to be pinning so much unnecessary anger on her. She would've sided with him had he not been so judging and damning to Tyrion, who she was sure had nothing to do with Bran becoming crippled. "You've judged him without evidence and you're acting so suspicious. I'm sure Lord Tyrion will want to wonder why you seemed so rancorous. You leave no air of mystery, not a single ounce of aloofness. How can you let your anger and suspicion be known at the gate? And what if you're wrong? You're making an enemy out of the wrong person!"
He pondered her words, his expression fighting a look of thought and vexation. He didn't know whether to be angry or see her point, but she knew how stubborn Robb could be. Letting out a long, tired sigh, she shook her head. "I cannot believe you would question my loyalty most of all." Her frown was apparent, her eyes half-lidded in a distressed look. "I would expect that from others, but not from you. When have I ever not been on your side, my lord?"
"Today, right now, when I needed you." In some ways, Robb did feel guilty about it but he was too infuriated by her friendship with Tyrion. Her friendship with him would certainly get in the way of her judgement, he knew it. Still, seeing her flinch as if she had been slapped just from his words did make him feel wrong. He fought not to frown as her eyes stared menacingly at the ground. The times where he wished she would've forgotten her place, forget their rankings, she continued to hold tightly to the grips of propriety even in anger.
Clenching her jaw, she made sure not to bawl up her fists. She forced a smile then, one that was too painfully obvious. "Then I shall take my leave then." Amara said rather cheekily, "I'll be returning to my home. After all, there is no need for an unloyal person in your presence, Lord Robb." Turning on her heel, she wiped away her forced smile and glared at the the library tower door.
"Amara, why can't you understand where I'm coming from? How would you feel in my place?" He watched her, hesitant and still, but proudly aiming to take her leave. He was sure he wasn't going to get an answer but she was being polite enough to listen. He couldn't force her to answer him, even if he was a lord. He wouldn't force her to do such a minimal task. No matter how much his brain was rattling, truly wanting to know what was going on in her head, he couldn't do that. He wondered if she ever left Jon so thoroughly in the dark. Part of him grimly knew that she wouldn't; only would she do that to him and everyone else.
As he suspected, she didn't give him an answer. Amara left him by himself in the library, mulling over what just happened. She made no move to turn back or give him a clue. Confused, angry, and in the dark is where she left him.
Jon had saw her rushing through the passageway in a rather indignant haste. She probably wouldn't have notice him if he hadn't grabbed her arm, making her eyes shoot up to look at him with the fire in them still ablaze. Lifting his brows, he watched as her temper simmered for just a moment and a sigh escape her. "What happened? What's gotten you so worked up?"
She wanted to say "your stupid brother" but the words wouldn't leave. No matter how vexed she was with Robb, she couldn't find it in her to insult him. "You need to speak with Lord Robb."
"What for? Are you that angry with him?" Still confused, and having no clue why the two would be at odds, he then looked down the passageway. "I was going to see how the repairs for the library tower were going, are you saying Robb is there?"
"He is and he is alone." Jon had let go of her arm, not wanting to keep her long if she didn't wish for it. "He thinks I'm more loyal to Lord Tyrion than I am to your family." Crossing her arms, her eyes began to flame anew as she was recalling everything back, only adding more to her fury. "All because I didn't agree with his behavior."
"His behavior?" Still puzzled, lost at what was being supposedly explained, his eyes were squint and his brows furrowed.
Not in the mood to explain, she simply grabbed his shoulders and forced him to turn. With a push, she watched him stumbled forward before looking back at her, "Just go talk to him." With a small smile, she turned to leave him and continued on her way.
Jon looked towards the library door, sighing as he did. Why did he have a feeling that this conversation was going to be dreadful? His steps were rather slowly as he opened the door to find Robb, sitting at one of the tables with his fist pressed against his cheek. He looked to be reflecting on something, angrily so. "Robb." He called him and his brother looked up at him briefly before looking away.
"I'm sure you've caught wind of our argument." Sitting upright, he laid his arms on the table as he flexed his fingers. "Or did she come running to you?"
"Actually, she was so pissed that she didn't even see me." He watched Robb break a smile somewhat but then hardened his face again. "What happened?"
"I have doubts." Robb said, "She has taken a liking so much of the Lannister that I'm afraid her judgement is clouded."
"I guess you can say mine is too." Grabbing a chair, Jon sat from the other side of his half-brother. "I take kindly to Lord Tyrion as well. I can even say I see him as a friend."
Robb didn't like that answer. In fact, he was hoping that Jon would completely side with him too. Yet both the people he swore would stand beside him were both friendly with Tyrion. "That's why you asked him to help Bran?" Jon nodded in reply, "But would you chide me and side with him in front of all my men, the Maester, my father's ward, the Watch, and my brother?"
He didn't expect that. Jon knew how neutral she had been about the arising conflict between houses, but he didn't think she would openly prove her impartialness. Now he could see why Robb seemed so skeptical of loyalties. Although Jon knew Amara was with them, she sure didn't reaffirm it for Robb in that regards. "They have an amity, Robb." He wasn't sure how to explain it properly, but he decided to chance it. "And I can believe you being unreasonably harsh towards him, which is why she sided with him. We suspect the Lannisters, I know; Lord Tyrion was in Winterfell when Bran was thrown, but he wasn't the only one."
"Its because I don't know! I can't trust a single Lannister, Jon. How can you?" Robb couldn't help but ask, "What if he was the one? Bran is your brother too."
"You think he would throw Bran from a tower and then come here afterwards to stay and give the boy he maimed schematics to ride a horse upon my request?" Jon rose a brow, questioning his brother's convoluted logic. "The man is smart, but I don't think he's that crafty nor fearless enough to take such risks."
For a second, Robb felt doltish but then shook his head after the strike of thought, seeing another vantage point. "Then we wouldn't suspect him. This could all be working in his favor. It would shake the blame from him, wouldn't it? After all, he'd seem holy if he did all of that for Bran."
For a moment, Jon thought he had a point and had to ponder it. Still, he couldn't exactly see Tyrion being so cruel to Bran in such a way. The man was a bit cynical at times, surprisingly compassionate, and so to think of him just one way would be considered foolish. No matter how many ways he looked at it, he couldn't fault his brother's wariness. He had every right to be, but Jon held true to that it was best to not tell Robb that he felt the Kingslayer was the culprit. He had no proof. He couldn't charge his brother up with just theories.
"You're stressed, Robb." Jon went onto say, "You may have been prepared but you weren't expecting to be Lord of Winterfell so soon. We just got our little brother back, your mother is away and we aren't sure if she's in King's Landing or not, and father and our sisters are there; all of them possibly in danger too. It's all been too much plus the appointments and daily things… Don't you think you might need to take a step back and breathe?" Robb was beginning to say something but Jon cut him off, already knowing what it was. "I'm not telling you to take a break, I know you won't, but take a time for yourself and think. You owe yourself that much."
Robb did think that Jon was giving him sound advice. When had he ever had time for himself? The days were long and busy, the days were also harrowing with all that had happened. These past few months had been nothing short of normal, and he couldn't help but to think that months in the future wouldn't be normal nor easy either. He was a man now, and being a man was never easy. There were choices he had to make, a future to plan, but it all just came too quick.
"You're right." His eyes looked up at Jon, his nod slow. "I just need some time to really think and be to myself."
"I'm here for you whenever you need me." His smile was small but the impact was large. Robb couldn't help but to feel a thousand times grateful that Jon was here. In spite of how angry he was with her now, he owed it to Amara for making Jon stay.
"You said she was pissed," Jon nodded in answer, "then I probably shouldn't see her for the rest of the day."
"I say give it three days." Robb rose a brow, "Three days is enough."
"Three days?!" Why did it have such a specific number? Robb was confused and a little worried at that.
His brother sighed, tapping his fingers on the wooden surface of the table. "I went over her home one time and knocked over one of her little flower pots by accident. She chewed me out and wouldn't speak to me for three whole days. She didn't even come to Winterfell within that span of time."
Ah, so she was comfortable with arguing with him? Chewing him out to be exact. He figured the healer got downright verbally vicious with him over her precious flowers. With him, she tried her best not to get carried away and she always kept her words respectful. What was she like in the true essence of anger? Robb couldn't help but to be curious but green in envy all at the same time.
"You two are very close." Unable to look Jon in the eyes, he kept his gaze fixated towards the windows. It would snow soon, he could tell by the way the skies were being filled by a copious amount of grey clouds. Every now and then you'd see a stretch of blue but then it would be gone like you'd never even seen it. "She feels much more comfortable with you."
"I'm a bastard and you're a lord," Robb's sat there rather broodingly, listening to his brother say what he already knew, "there are rules. I've never asked her how different it is in Yi Ti than it is here in Westeros. I suspect there's not too much of a difference of how propriety works."
"Has she even told you of her family? I never hear her speak of them." His eyes looked from the window and to Jon, seeing him in what looked to be deep thought.
Jon began to rub his chin as his eyes remained lowered, "She only spoke of her brother to me." He answered somewhat quietly, "She misses him, that much is obvious. I don't know anything of her mother or father. I don't even know if she was married or not before."
The young lord couldn't help but to think it unusual that Amara never spoke of her family. Did it pain her to speak about them? Did she want to forget them? She had been in Winterfell for almost four months and they didn't know a great many things about her still. Was she hiding her past? "I heard Sansa say she was betrothed before." Jon went rigid in that moment, his eyes slowly looking up at Robb's face to see how stoic he was. "I don't know what happened to him or anything, that's all I really know."
The thought of Amara being almost married before did a number of things to him. Did she love him? Does she still grieve of the loss of marriage? Did her betrothed die? It was wrong of him, but he couldn't help but to feel grateful about whatever transpired at the time. Now she was free of marriage, in Westeros, and here in Winterfell. If she married then Jon was sure that he would've never met her.
"I didn't know anything about that." For once, Robb was surprised that Jon didn't know. He knew more about the healer than anyone else, and to know that he ( more like Sansa ) knew something about her that he didn't made him think that maybe she felt uncomfortable to speak to Jon about her past. "Amara isn't confident about talking about personal things." It took him months to learn about her fear of wolves. Now how could help but wonder how long it would take before could he ask about this man she almost married.
...
Her eyes squinted, looking both ways as she sat in this seedy tavern with Tyrion. Amara loathed this place entirely. The fights were far too often, brutal at most, and some of her late patients came from this exact place. He already had his fill in the Woolly Cat and so she found him here after Ros said he was going here. The way she spoke of Tyrion was far different than when she spoke about him last, and Amara was starting to find that maybe Ros favored him than she did Theon. Then again, what did she know? Ros was fickle when it came to whoever gave her the most money and now she wore a golden Lannister pendant. What would Theon have to say about that? Amara almost wanted to tease him, to knock him a few pegs just as his words did to her.
Tyrion was drinking away, cup in hand, and his eyes staring at anything that caught his attention for a few minutes. Eventually, he moved his eyes upward to look at her, still a bit surprised that she was here and that she actually stayed. Most women didn't like Taverns, only "sallies" came here without fear. They would just work since drunk men could easily spend more coin, "Haven't you gotten in enough trouble?"
"Didn't you know, my lord? Once you've stepped in shit, you might as well keep on walking in it." She was still angry with Robb and his accusations. Not enough to drink some beer like Tyrion, but enough to be almost tempted too.
The dwarf chuckled, a little bit surprise at her cursing. "I did not expect that." He gave her a humored look, brows raised as he pointed his cup at her. "You are full of surprises, aren't you?"
"You should expect a lot of surprises now days." She subtly warned, glancing around to see if any fights were going to break out as per usual. "You aren't exactly the most loved person in the North, Lord Tyrion."
"The whores loves me." He shrugged, "That's more than enough for me."
"They don't love you enough to save you from the Lord of Winterfell." They both glanced at one another and then gave an agreeing nod. He couldn't argue with that, "I suppose you don't really understand why he's angry."
"I have a feeling that you won't tell me though." Ordering another cup of dark beer, his short and plump fingers tapped against the bar countertop. "You love the Starks, don't you? You most certainly care for them more than me, so why are you helping me and ruining what you have with them?"
"I wish you would stop using the word love." Amara frowned at that lopsided grin he gave her, "I don't love them." She averted her eyes, staring absently at the wall. "But I do care for them but I don't care for them enough to give blind loyalty."
"Fine, you like them, care for them as you say. Gods forbid you, healer, to love anything." He said sarcastically, making her frown in the process. "But you don't sound like you care too much for the boy lord right now. He gave you quite the scolding after his warm welcome for me, didn't he?"
She didn't want to think about the argument anymore. Every time she believed she was over it, she would rewind Robb's words in her head and get herself riled up again. "You think?"
"Oh, I know." He shook his head, "He seemed awfully angry about you showing any support to me. Then I come to find out Lady Stark isn't even Winterfell. Something awfully strange is going on around here."
"You're not wrong." She shrugged, "But my loyalty is already in question, my lord. So that's all I can say."
"Even now, you still support him." He watched as she gave a weak nod, "You sure you don't need a drink?"
Amara sighed heavily, "Lord Robb is my friend and I care for him deep. I would never turn on him, but I should be able to tell him when he's wrong. He shouldn't be so quick to jump to conclusions when it comes to me."
A man had slid across the bar-tops, making Amara move back slightly and Tyrion quickly grab his cup before the man knocked it over. Both of them looked right, heads tilted, just to see the man was still alive and dust himself off before being punched square in the jaw. "My lord, do you really want to drink here?"
"Why not? Its entertaining." The way he so casually kicked back in his chair, feet crossed on the bartop with his cup of beer in hand almost made her scoff. What was so entertaining about two men in a drunken brawl? They barely controlled their fists, they couldn't even keep themselves standing let alone, and yet Tyrion found it all fascinating.
"Your interests are weird and they trouble me." She smirked at his smile, "I'd rather see finesse."
"Ah," He began, "you're looking at the art side, but I'm here gazing at the vulnerability in it. Both these men want to survive, they want to be winners too because then they'll be shamed. Don't you think life is like that? You miss a few hits, get punched a few more. But until the bitter end, you so desperately want to win. You never want to lose because there are too many eyes watching you and they'll be there to pick you apart while you're down."
His words resonated with her, if only just a little. Amara did not want to win at life, she just wanted an easy one; one that she could be happy with until her last breath. She didn't care who was watching, who wanted her to fall, but she could see things that way for Tyrion, for Jon, and even for Robb.
Life was hurting him now and he was desperately trying to win, to prove himself as a good lord after his father. It never occurred to her the stress of what he was going through, she only fixated on Jon. The last time she ever offered words to comfort was when Bran first fell. Now she was beginning to feel wrong, guilty. How many times has someone told him good luck or that he was doing well?
"You always teach me something new." Tyrion glanced over at her, seeing her watching the two drunkards in thought and not disgust anymore.
Author's Note: Did anybody say "liar/no you can't!" when Amara said she could read people well? I mentally did... at my own character.
Am I the only one who is in love with the way Robb/Richard Madden says "What about Bran?" Its weird I know.
Sorry this chapter is so short though, but it answers some things and showing how Robb and Amara's relationships is sailing on rocky waters. Her and Catelyn are rocky too now, but that's to be expected.
It'll probably get worse for Robb and Amara before it gets better. And its about time Jon finds out what Amara is hiding because her past is completely unknown to them. All of them know little things; Sansa knows about Qasar, Jon knows about Naran, and Arya knows her mother was a healer. So nobody knows the whole thing yet, will it be Robb or Jon who finds out? I haven't even decided yet.