Disclaimer: Vegetables are very good for you…Vegeta is very good for me. I like Vegeta…he's one bad mutha-

Whatchoo talkin' 'bout Sabara?

I'm just talkin' 'bout Vegeta!

Okay, we can dig it!

Sorry….um, Hellsing not mine, Vegeta is from DBZ, and uh…that kid who says that all the time is from that one show…

Okay! Now I dont know if any of you noticed it, cause I wasnt sure where to put it, but I commented on my own story saying it may be a while for the next thing to go up heh. Basically, there was a very bad issue with a friend of mine which has since gotten sorted, and so it kinda messed with my writing a bit. I tried to write through it, but it was so bad I ended up rewriting the whole chapter! Anyways, this drabble was untouched since it was written before the incident happened, and since I'm now almost done with Chapter 6, I figured it was okay to post this.

Okay then! Welcome to the last and final chapter in the Seras Chronicles! Er rather, welcome to the last and final drabble. Now, this next incident is sort of based on me when I first got a cat. I generally knew about cats, but not enough to understand what everything they did meant…and I reacted similarly to how Alucard does when my cat started doing this. It was actually quite funny now that I look back on it. Oh well, enjoy!

Chapter 5: Seras Chronicles

Drabble 6: Eat Your Greens

It was another night for Seras, another boring and uneventful night since she was banned from the outside world. Despite plenty of appeals to her master, and even a rather comical appeal to Walter (who honestly tried to understand her for the better part of an hour), Seras was given no privileges other than free range of the manor. She was beginning to think Alucard was enjoying watching her suffer like this! How would he like it if he was locked up for days? Of course, little did she know that he had been locked up for years.

After pining over it for about the fifth time in the still very early night, Seras slapped her newest toy as hard as she could and sent it careening across the floor and into the opposite wall.

'Stupid master with his….stupid grin and his stupid glasses.' She complained in her head. 'He doesn't even care…heh, I bet he's enjoying this.' She grumbled further, and was then made aware of a brewing pain in her abdomen.

'Great…now I'm going to make myself sick with all this complaining.' She sighed lightly and decided it was best for her to calm down. She could find something else to do. She did have the whole manor to herself after all.

She got up to go retriever he cat toy so that she may drop it in her master's coffin or something similar, only to find that she had a deep urge to sit down again. The dull pain in her stomach began to grow, and she felt a strange sensation creep up her throat in a sickening way that made her moan. Her stomach churned and it immediately threw her into a panic. Never in her life had she felt this sick, or at least not since she had died and tried to eat human food. It felt like there was something inside her, something thick and heavy that was trying to force its way out. Her body then made a strange sucking noise as it convulsed lightly and she thought she was going to die.

Master…she had to find her master. He would help her, he had to. She got up to her feet though every part of her body screamed for her to lie down, and she slowly began to stagger her way into the hallway. Her door had always been left open since she could not phase and she could not very well reach the handle, but despite that she still had a struggle to push through the heavy door.

Each step was agony, and she wanted to lie down so badly, but she was terrified that if she did lay down she would never get back up again. She tried to call for her master, but raw instinct that had never been her own, was telling her to sit or lay down. Stop moving, stop thinking, just do what your body wants. It took all her strength to ignore it.

Alucard was in the middle of a meal when he caught the obvious distress of his fledgling. For a moment he thought she may have just gotten her head caught in something again, but on further inspection of her mind and her state of being, he realized there was far more distress than he had picked up before. She was in a state of panic, and there seemed to be something wrong with her physically as well.

He rose to his feet and vanished, reappearing before her somewhat surprised that she wasn't in her room. She looked as sick as she felt, shuffling around like a decrepit old cat. Her back was hunched terribly and her tail was dragging along the ground. Her steps were short and what was worse was the noise of discomfort she was making. Alucard just stared at her, unsure of what to do or make of this. He went unnoticed for a few moments until Seras was right in front of him.

'M…master….' She finally managed to whisper out with strained difficulty. Now that he was there she let the urges take over her, and immediately she crumpled down and lay flat on her stomach with her head out.

"Police Cat." He looked over her, and if Seras hadn't been so out of it she would have noticed the strange tone in his voice. "What's the matter with you?"

'I…I don't….' she tried to speak, but her body had enough of her disobedience and she began to wheeze. Seras tried to stop, and tried to gain some control of herself, but it was completely lost to her.

"Police Cat." Alucard spoke sternly to her, trying to snap her out of whatever was the matter. Usually no matter how far gone she was she would snap out of it if he spoke to her like this, but this time he had no suck luck. She began to cough and wheeze and her body curled tighter as it was wracked with obvious distress and panic.

"Seras." He knelt down beside her, calling out her name more forcefully to try and snap her out of it. His call went unanswered as her symptoms continued. He had not been in this situation before, and he wasn't sure what to do with himself. Alucard was genuinely worried as he watched her suffer. He knew nothing about cats, nothing about this strange spell that was put on her, and he had no way of finding out. Not right now anyway when she was being obviously attacked by something internal. He honestly and truly didn't know what to do, and it frightened him in an unexpected way.

Despite his own fears of what touching her would do, he decided that sitting here would do nothing for either of them and he was going to take her upstairs and see if Integra knew anything. Of course, no sooner was he about to lift her up did she make a final loud and sloppy cough, releasing a gross and sticky ball of what looked like chewed hair, blood, and rubber bands, onto the floor next to him.

What the hell was that? Alucard found himself staring at it the same way drivers stare at a car crash; unable to look away and oblivious to everything around you. He didn't notice as Seras sat up, panting but feeling much better than she had before. After a moment to compose herself and after the remainder of her drool slipped onto the floor, she looked up at him and smiled weakly.

'Heh…I feel better master.' Her voice sounded exhausted as it slipped quietly into his mind, bringing him out of his concentrated stare. He turned his head to her and her slightly hunched form, tired from the effort of expelling this thing from her body. Hell, anyone would feel better after throwing up something like that.

"Why couldn't you have been a dog?" He sighed and shook his head lightly and stood up again. Dogs he knew and understood for the most part, but cats were completely foreign to him. Was she supposed to do this? Was this another part of that bloody spell that was put on her? Though she seemed to be fine, the worries he felt a few seconds ago were still very much alive in his head. "Are you alright?"

Seras looked up at him with clear blue eyes and a gentle curve to her muzzle as she nodded her head once. A quick search of her aura and her mind revealed that she was telling the truth, but Alucard was still not satisfied. He had to consult with the only one who had the current knowledge of cats…or at least the book on them. He would speak with his master.

Both Alucard and Integra were staring, with very different expressions though holding the same reaction, at a certain page in the very large cat book that was all about hairballs. Integra's face was mutilated into one of obvious disgust and splashed with dread, and the edges of Alucard's lips were pointed so far down you could have ridden them to the floor. His eyes were shielded, but that didn't hinder the obvious look of repulsion.

"You didn't touch it did you?" Integra was unable to pull her eyes from the text and some choice pictures. Her teeth were grit, as they normally were she was ready to blow a gasket and pop some Excedrin.

"Why on earth would I touch it?" Alucard wrinkled his nose lightly as he regarded her with a disbelieving glance. As if he would actually touch such a gross combination of hair and vomit.

"So then it's still in my hallway?" Now she was able to look at him, fire burning in her normally icy eyes at the thought of that little ball of disgust sitting in her hallway, stinking it up, and creating stains on whatever surface it was adorning.

"Where else would it be?" His glare hardened a little on his master. What was she getting at?

"Go clean it up, that's an order!" She pointed towards the doorway despite the fact that it was downstairs, basically telling him to get out and get to it.

The stare he gave her dripped defiance and a low grumble came from his throat as he firmly planted his feet on the ground. This was one order that he honestly had no intention of following. She wasn't there; she didn't watch that disgusting ball of partially digested pelt shoot from her mouth. He would honestly rather just stay away from it.

"Do it, or I take her to the pound." Integra's eyes narrowed to dangerous slits, and despite the fact that she was only a human, every demonic creature within a 10 mile radius would have fled for their lives. Of course Alucard just smirked, though it was in no way cheerful.

"Don't give me options, you might not like what I chose." He growled lightly at his master. At the rate they were going, Walter expected Integra to jump at his throat with the pen she looked like she was about to break.

"I'll do it." Walter said with the heaviest of sighs. "Cleaning up a little mess can't be any worse than listening to you two bicker like children." He fixed his monocle and then left the two to finish their argument. Honestly in all his years he had never seen such commotion over a wad of wet hair.

The door clicked behind him, and for a moment Alucard and Integra just stared blankly at the place where he once stood. Then, as if on cue, the two of them turned their heads to each other and broke into the biggest grin any would have ever seen. What an unwittingly brilliant way to get Walter to do something neither of them wanted to do. The two of them would have to remember this tactic.

TBC

Well there you go :3. Seras had a hairball! Now like I said, when my cat first started doing this hunched over hacking cough thing I started freaking out! I was like 'aaah! My cats dieing!' and I had no clue what to do heh. I asked someone about it later who had a lot of cats and they said it was just a hairball. Now unlike Seras, my cat doesn't cough them up. He hacks them, swallows them back down, and then just passes them normally, but I didn't want to do that to poor Alucard heh, so I just had her throw the thing up. Poor Seras, going through things that cats do…and poor Integra, getting addictions to over the counter drugs…and poor Walter, having to deal with them all…hehehhee, yeah I am kinda mean. I'm enjoying this more than I should be. I will admit though, that small dialogue between Integra and Alucard while they discuss the hairball, is one of my favorites.

Anyways! No more drabbles! On with the story!...when I post it heh. Ciao!
R&R por favor!