Here goes another one, enjoy. Let me know if you love it hate it should have had more of something.
"How's your food" I ask looking over at the beautiful woman sat in front of me. She smiles widely finishing off her mouthful before responding.
"It's just as good as I remember which is quite reassuring for me. It's good to know that the memories I do have are at least accurate. How's yours?" she asks looking down at my food an interested look on her face.
"It is really good Ems, I know it looks like baby poo you've told me that before. You've never been game enough to try any though. Maybe tonight's the night; I dare you to try just a mouthful." I challenge looking up to find a hesitant look on Emily's face.
"I'm not sure" She says clearly put off by the colour and consistency of my dish.
"You're missing out I'm telling you. I would never encourage you to try some if I thought you wouldn't like it" I say seeing her seriously considering the option. I tempt her even further by holding up a small spoonful near her face. She looks at it for a second before leaning in and taking it in her mouth. I watch her waiting for a reaction, also finding the way she pulls her mouth slowly off the spoon incredibly sexy.
"Mmm' Emily acknowledges licking her lips "You're right Naomi that's really good"
"I'm glade you like it Ems, I've been trying to talk you into trying it for a while." I say smiling at her. She lets out a light laugh reaching over and grabbing another spoonful of my chicken sagwala.
"Naomi you do realise now every time we come here I'm going to eat half of your meal too." Emily says cheekily.
"Yeah I thought as much but I'm sure for you I could cope with that." I reply.
"You always have just the right cheesy thing to say don't you" Emily states looking at me and grinning. It's beautiful and I love the fact that this feels normal like she's being the her I know.
"Yes and on that note I actually have a little something for you" I say leaning down to retrieve the item from my bag.
"Wow" she says as I push the small jewellery box across the table to her. "So Kelly's not the only one who gets a present today."
"No I thought both my beautiful girls deserved a special gift. Course your gift isn't as cool as Kelly's play dough ice cream parlour but I thought you might like it."
"I don't deserve this Nai, if anyone should be getting a present right now it should be you" Emily says looking at me with emotion in her eyes.
"No Ems" I say taking her hands in mine. "You're wrong you do deserve this, you're an amazing person. Besides I'm the one who said I was going to woo you. You don't need to buy me gifts Ems; you already have me that's not going to change. I on the other hand have to re-win your heart. Don't go saying you don't deserve it when you don't even know what it is, go on open it." I say letting go of her hands so she can. She looks hesitant for a minute before letting it go and flicking open the small blue box.
"Wow it's beautiful" she says removing the small silver locket. She carefully opens it, I watch her to gage her reaction. Unlike most lockets instead of having a photo put inside I had got one laser engraved onto the metal. She looks up at me smiling looking like she's at a loss for words.
"I didn't mean to be presumptuous by putting myself in the picture" I say referring to the fact that the picture is of Kelly, Emily and I. "It's just I sent it away to be done a while ago" I explain.
"I love it Naomi it a beautiful picture" She says leaning across the table and pecking me on the lips.
"I' glade you like it" I reply taking another mouthful of my curry and trying to feel less awkward. It's one of the strangest feelings being on a first date with your wife, pretending to get to know her again so she can get to know you. To be fair I feel like we've made a lot of progress since Emily moved back in. I feel like she's finding herself and is my same old Emily.
We finish our dinner at a leisurely pace comfortable conversation flowing nicely between the two of us. I can tell Emily's enthusiasm for her gift was real as she has put it on and lifts her hand to run her fingers over it every few minutes, as if making sure its real. All two soon we have finished our dinner and are outside the restaurant.
"So what do you say Ems, up for a few drinks with our rowdy mates?" I ask looking over at her as we make our way back to the car. She lets her hand lazily link with mine and I can't help but smirk at her. A lazy grin also takes over her face. I can see the glass of wine she had with dinner is having a small affect on her. She seems a lot more relaxed than she has been lately.
"Yeah it might be fun" she responds just before we reach the car. "I don't want to go home yet, I'm having a good night."
"I'm glade" I reply unlocking the car and opening her door for her. "My lady" I say in a silly accent gesturing for her to get in. She laughs at my act, making me grin that's exactly the reaction I was hoping for.
Ten minutes later we are pulling up outside our usual pub. I look over at Emily who's gotten quite all of a sudden, in comparison to the passionate singing along to the radio she had been doing.
"You right Ems?" I ask taking her hand in mine and giving it a squeeze.
"Just a bit nervous" she admits looking over at me chewing on her bottom lip.
"You'll be right Hun all these people already love you just like I do, if anyone should be nervous it should be them. Honestly I'm not sure why we became friends with some of them. Perhaps now you're older and wiser you'll wonder too. I'm there with you if you think we should drop any of them babe." I say laughing at the end.
"You're terrible Nai" she says hitting me jokingly on the arm. "Off we go then it's now or never right."
We walk into the bar to see everyone else already sitting at stools around a high table in the corner of the bar. I gesture over at them as Emily and I make our way over to the table. Cooks the first one to notice us and get up from his seat greeting me with a quick hug before looking at Emily.
"Emilio man, how's it going? Herd you got yourself into a bit of memory trouble yeah. It's ok the Cookie monster will forgive you if you've forgotten our little roll in the hay back in the day." Cook says still the funny man he always was, though considerably more grown up about it most of the time. Emily looks at me as if for confirmation so I give her a small shake of my head.
"Hi" she says timidly shaking Cooks hand quickly.
"Hey Emily" JJ says quick to follow Cook in a greeting. "I'm JJ and while Cook's reference to sexual activity was merely an attempt at humour, it is in fact an actuality that at one stage you and I were sexually intimate." He blurts out in only a way JJ can. I give him a sharp look thinking perhaps now's not the best time to be throwing random memories at my girl.
"Gosh, bobbins, jolly roger. I'm sorry I didn't mean to say that you see I actually have problems with social interactions. Though my inadequacy has seemed to improve with age and experience on occasion I still say completely inappropriate things. I apologise if I've made you feel uncomfortable in anyway, if it's any consolation I have in fact made myself feel uncomfortable. I would actually like to stop talking now so I don't say more than I already have but you see it seems my brains filter has other ideas. Its seems to just keep spurting things out like did you know that"
"JJ" I say sharply interrupting him from his rant.
"Gosh sorry" he says cheeks reddening clearly embarrassed by his outburst.
"It's ok JJ" Emily responds before I have a chance to. "It's nice to meet you, meet you again I guess" she says politely trying to make him feel better. She links her hand through mine telling me that the encounter had in fact freaked her out a little. I lean close into her ear.
"It's ok Ems he's just a little flustered doesn't like meeting people, knows he doesn't come across well on first meeting. You and he are actually quite close friends. He's lovely once you get past the nervousness and random rants" I whisper feeling her relax a little. Effy introduces herself as well and Thomas and Panda greet us politely. Emily already knew who they were due to meeting them in one of the night clubs. Katie also gets up and gives us both a big hug winking at me with a happy smile as I lead Emily to the bar. She seems to see the positive changes in her sister since the drunken encounter too. It's nice to know she's almost as pleased as I am to see Ems slowly stepping back into her life.
"What would you like beautiful?" I ask as we reach the bar.
"A vodka orange please" She answers swinging our hands between us, making me feel much younger than my years. Of course that's not a bad thing. I feel like Emily will always keep me young. She's the one woman I'll always want to make out like a teenager with or shag all night not worrying about how tired we might be the next day. This second first date experience is definitely not a bad thing.
"A lemon lime and bitters and a vodka orange please" I ask as the bar maid greets me and requests my order.
"No problem" She says walking off to prepare our drinks.
"You not drinking tonight?" Emily asks looking over at me puzzled.
"Nah" I say running my thumb over the back of her hand "I'll drive us home, you have as much as you want though"
"You won't even have one with me?" Emily asks looking up at me her brown eyes trying to persuade me into it.
"I'm not really a just one kind of drinker Ems and I'd rather not have to get a taxi home. You enjoy yourself though." I try and explain away. My statement made me sound a bit like an alcoholic but I guess that's better than freaking her out with the truth. Emily looks like she's about to formulate another argument for me but the bar maid returns with our drinks interrupting her.
I thank her and pay before following Emily back to the table and sitting next to her. She reaches out and grabs my hand resting both of them on my thigh. She's obviously still a little nervous at the whole situation. I like that she trusts me enough now to reach out and seek comfort in my touch, it's nice.
"Right" Cook says interrupting my thoughts "Who's up for a friendly game of 'I've Never' I know we're not teenagers anymore but it might help Emily here learn a few things about us all."
I look around the table searching for the verdict of the other occupants. My eyes fall on Emily's to see how she feels about the proposal. She grins at me before opening her mouth to speak.
"Yeah could be fun. Naomi's not drinking tonight so I'm going to be a team with her and drink for the both of us. I won't be able to tell you if I've done most of it anyway." She explains.
"Alright" Cook says excitedly knowing if Emily agrees everyone else will. "Good plan Emily I'm sure most of the answers will apply to the both of you anyway" he adds.
"Can I start?" Panda says enthusiasm in her voice. Everyone around the table gives her a gesture in the affirmative.
"Whizzer I always did love this game. Right, um, I've never joined the mile high club" she says confidently after a minute of thought. Emily looks up at me asking without words if she needs to drink. I grin at her thinking about the occasion and nod to her, causing her to take a sip of her drink. Cook drinks as well no surprises there but everyone else leaves their glasses on the table.
"Mmm my turn now" Katie says as she sitting to the left of Panda. "I've never been in love." Emily drinks to this without even having to look at me, everyone else at the table drinks too except for Katie that is. That's an impressive feat I have to admit. It's not often in our game that people manage to get everyone but themselves drinking. Emily and I are next and she looks at me.
"Got a question I won't have to drink to Naomi?" she asks. I think hard it's quite a tough ask Emily and I have quite a large range of experiences.
"Um best I've got is I've never owned a pet" I say quietly into Emily's ear wanting to gain her approval before putting it forward for the game.
"That's really the best you've got" she asks sounding a little disappointed.
"You wanted not to have to drink Emily. There are a lot of things we could say that would be more interesting but you and I have done most of them." I explain and she seems to accept it as she voices my question. It gets everyone to drink but Cook and of course Emily.
We continue playing for another half hour or so everyone having fun coming up with interesting questions. It's almost like everyone is trying to get my girl drunk. Every single question apart from a few of our own ones has caused Emily to have to drink. Now I have a cute little tipsy redhead on my hands.
"Dance with me Noam's" She requests as a song comes on the pub stereo. She leans in close to me as if leaning on me for balance in an attempt not to fall off the high stool.
"Please" She adds right next to my ear. I can feel her warm breath moisten the inside of my ear. How could I say no to that, especially since she was running her hand up and down my thigh.
"Alright come on then" I say taking her hand and leading her to the dance floor. It's a fairly up beat sort of tune playing but it seems Emily doesn't care. She wraps her arms around me and buries her face in my neck like a slow dance. I'm a little surprised for a few minutes, eventually catching myself and wrapping my arms around her placing a kiss on her hair. She must feel the gesture as she returns it placing a soft kiss on my neck where her face is located. I feel as she chooses to leave her lips there and they spread into a wide smile.
"This is nice" she says rubbing her nose up and down my neck.
"Mmmm" I say in response closing my eyes and enjoying having her close losing myself in her arms and the rhythm of the music.
"Naomi" she says after a few moments I feel her lean back to look at me and open my eyes to return her stare. "We've done a lot of stuff together haven't we? I mean traveled to foreign countries, had a child, graduated university, done aid work in Africa, shagged on a plane, actually scratch that last one apparently in terms of shagging it's the list of things we haven't done or places we haven't done it that's shorter." She says giggling.
"Yeah we have done a lot of stuff Ems" I confirm. She looks at me contemplating her words for a minute.
"I hope we do a lot more things too" she says quietly "I don't remember all that stuff but I have a feeling being with you would have made it great. I feel like I've only known you for a few weeks but already I feel safe, warm and happy with you. It's weird I feel like I'm slowly falling for you, but at the same time we have all this history."
I can't help but smile at her drunken ramble. She's falling for me again and honestly it feels just as good as the first time. Actually it might feel better because the fact of the matter is that last time I was trying to resist it. I didn't want to have Emily love me and I certainly didn't want to acknowledge that I might love Emily. It was almost like the two of them had reversed roles, I was now the one sure of my feelings and slowly guiding Emily towards her own. Of course the situations were somewhat different but the general idea was the same. I had in essence gone from being the pursued to the pursuer. It seems perhaps there are good things about both but right now seeing her wife begin to fall for her all over again felt pretty fucking amazing. The doubt and anguish had sucked but moments like this made it all worth it. I knew moments like this didn't mean all was sorted again, I of course remembered my own rollercoaster of feelings and actions when I was in Emily's shoes. Right now there was no point dwelling on the future tonight I gave myself permission to enjoy the moment.
"I hope so too Ems" I say realising I should probably respond to her cute little rant rather than just having my own internal one.
"Mmmm" she responds sleepily into my neck relaxing fully onto my body. I feel her breathing beginning to even out.
"Ems" I say shaking her softly "Emily babe if you're tired you need to wake up so I can take you home. You can't go to sleep here honey."
She opens her eyes again slowly and looks up at me clearly tired, her eyes bleary and slightly bloodshot from the booze.
"You're all warm and comfy" she says yawning "but maybe you're right it's getting late" she continues through another yawn.
We return back to the table bidding our remaining friend's farewell before heading to the car. The drive home took no more than ten minutes but about two minutes in Emily was asleep. Her head is leaned up against the window and her feet are bent under her awkwardly. I couldn't resist taking a sneaky picture on my phone before gently shaking her awake.
"What, where are we?" she asks confused looking up at me.
"We're home Ems, come on I'll help you inside." I say slowly helping her out her seat and into the house. It seems the few minutes nap in the car has revitalized her slightly as she now seems wide awake.
"So" she says almost nervously standing in the lounge. "I had a really nice time, you're so sweet" she articulates studying her hands nervously.
"Only when I have a reason to be" I counter taking her fiddling hands in my own. I then lean in and place a small soft kiss on her lips. It is a first date after all and what sort of impression would I be sending if I didn't kiss her. She seems to have forgotten all about her shyness and leans in for another slightly longer kiss. She quickly escalates its pace leaving me short of breath.
"Wow" I say pulling back looking at her with surprise.
"Yeah" she says clearly a bit surprised by her own actions. "Um I think it might be bed time" she continues looking very unsure of herself.
"You might be right Ems" I confirm "I think I'll be a true gentle woman and sleep in the guest room tonight. This is after all only a fist date and like I said I don't take women to bed after them. I can also see you're a little bit drunk and I don't want you moving too fast and regretting your actions tomorrow" I explain.
"Thanks" she says kissing me once more softly on the cheek and relaxing visibly.
"Night Emily" I say watching her walk towards the stairs.
"Night Naomi" she replies before ascending them and moving out of my sight. I do a quick check of the house to make sure everything is locked and off before climbing the stairs myself.
I'm woken suddenly from my sleep disorientated and unsure what woke me. I open my eyes and let them adjust to the darkness realising that there is now in fact a warm body pressed into my back.
"Ems" I ask slightly confused.
"Sorry I didn't want to wake you" she says quietly "I just, I missed you I've gotten used to sleeping with you and it doesn't feel right when your not there".
"It's ok, I understand" I say knowing the exact feeling. I snuggle back into her warmth knowing that though she may have moved for her own sleep it will have a positive affect on my own ability to rest.
I wake up suddenly again, to what I assume is morning, for completely different reasons. I sit up quickly and try to get my legs to move at the desired pace as I make my way to the bathroom. I reach the toilet just in time as I feel the warm sick make its way up my throat and expel into the toilet. I kneel down in front of it knowing there's more to come. My feelings are conflicted over the matter, on one hand it's exciting that the first obvious signs of a new life growing within me are presenting themselves, on the other I feel like shit. I can't contemplate my reasoning any further as my whole focus is once again focused on expelling the contents of my stomach.
"You ok Naoms" I hear as the second bout stops. I feel a warm hand rubbing circles on my back and realise that this actually started a few minutes ago I was just to preoccupied to take note at the time.
"Yeah I'm fine" I say, actually genuinely feeling slightly better as you tend to after a good chuck.
"That's weird it should be me in here, you didn't even have anything to drink last night" Emily say the sentence getting slower as she reaches the end and realisation dawns on her face. She looks suddenly alarmed as she seems to connect the two points together. Though there are a number of possible outcomes to reach from these two facts the distressed look on her face clues me on to the fact she's reached the right one.
"Uh th that thing yy you ww wanted ttt to ttell me" she inquires looking very unsure and nervous. "You're you're I mean are you?" she says unable to voice it instead pointing erratically at my stomach.
I nod in response. "If you're asking if I'm pregnant the answer is yes" I provide seeing her continue to look at me unsure of what to do.
"Umm yeah ok" she response, clearly finding it hard to form sentences, I sort of understand her reaction. I mean for her I guess it's like finding out your pregnant when you've only ever practised safe sex. I guess without the memories of the process we went through it's hard to comprehend, impossible to suspect.
"Random question but just to check we like planned this together right? I mean it's not a result of a one night stand with like Cook or something." Despite the implications of infidelity in her questions I can't help but laugh.
"You've meet Cook do you really think I would sleep with him, let alone without protection?" I ask a little mortified she'd even suggest it.
"I'm sorry, its just I'm a little shocked to say the least. I mean you warned me there was something you wanted me to know but this didn't even make it on my list of possibilities. I think I need to talk to Katie, think I might go visit her. I'm sorry I just really need some time to think yeah. I'll be back I promise I just need some time, to think, by myself, also to talk it over with someone you know." She trails of walking out of the room glancing back at me over her shoulder and giving me a small unsure smile before leaving. It makes me feel even more like crap than I did when I woke up.
Ten minutes later I hear the front door closing. I let myself crawl back into the guest room bed and cry for a short while. I blame it on the pregnancy hormones they're meant to make me emotional. About half an hour later I pull myself together and get ready to pick up Kelly.
"Hey" my mother says brightly as she opens the door "you alright love, don't quite look your usual self."
"Yeah a lot going on at the moment mum, as you know. Where is my baby girl?" I ask noting the absence of her at the door with my mother. Normally when I picked her up she was at the front door with her nana and excitedly in my arms the minute the door opened telling me about her night.
"She's in the lounge still playing with that play dough creations you got her. I had to stop her eating it a couple of times but she seems fine now. Loves it, we've made many ice creams." Mum explains smiling. "No Emily?" she adds as an after thought.
"She's at Katie's" I say not wanting to say too much but knowing that the small sentence had told my mother all she needed to know.
"What's going on daughter of mine" she asks gesturing me into the house. She leads me into the kitchen where we can see Kelly playing happily still unaware of my presence.
"Well, I guess I can tell you now that Ems knows. I'm pregnant, she found out unintentionally this morning and she needed some time to sort out her feeling on the subject."
'Love that's great" my mother says pulling me into a tight hug. "I mean the timings not perfect but it never is really, I mean you're the perfect example. I found out I was pregnant with you when I thought I had the world to discover. Turns out you gave me a whole new world to discover while being my whole world at the same time." I smile at my mothers story.
"So Emily was mad you didn't tell her?" my mother asks.
"Nah it's not that. I told her there was something I wanted her to know when she was ready, that it was a possibility she might find out by mistake. So when she found me head in the toilet this morning, added to the fact I've been refusing alcohol and the thing I had to tell her she did the math. I think she's just freaked out. It's why I wanted to wait for the right time but I guess life's like that. It could have been worse; she seemed scared I guess that's natural though especially in her situation. I mean I'm a little scared too so hopefully she'll sort herself out." I inform my mother causing her to hug me again whispering reassurance in my ear. A mother's hug really can solve everything at least for a few seconds. She had made me feel much better.
"Mummy" Kelly shouts finally noticing my presence and running over for a hug. While my mother's hug made me feel much better, Kelly's was even more powerful. I let my other worries wash away as I hug my daughter lifting her on my hip and listening to her chatter away.
"Where's Mumma" she asks suddenly.
"She went to visit Aunty Katie beautiful" I inform her. "She'll be home later. I was thinking that this afternoon we could go to the pool for a swim" I continue trying to draw her attention away from absent Emily. It was something I didn't want to dwell on. Things would play out how they should; they always seemed to though often with a scattered complication here and there.
"Swimming" Kelly said excitedly. She was a water baby and loved the pool ever since we started taker her as an infant. She'd done baby swim classes and progressed onto toddler ones now. Her skills in the water actually rivalled that of older children I'd seen still unable to do basic things like float or blow bubbles. Our Kelly was definitely a natural born swimmer.
After a quick cuppa with Mum which I had to endure the insistent pleas of 'can we go to the pool now Mummy?' we made it home again. I had promised Kelly we'd have a quick lunch and then be on our way to the swim centre near our house. We walk into the living room to find a sheepish looking Emily sitting on the couch.
"Mumma" Kelly says hugging her tightly causing Emily to smile and kiss the top of her head.
"Kelly baby why don't you go put your bag in your room for Mummy?" I ask knowing that Emily and I need to talk for a minute.
"Otay" she says picking it up from the floor and heading to her room.
"Hey" Emily says standing up from the couch "these are for you" she says handing me a bunch of yellow daffodils. "The lady at the shop said they represent new beginnings" she explains.
"Thanks Emily" I say feeling emotional over the gesture, apparently overnight I'd gained the ability to cry at the drop of a hat.
"I'm sorry about this morning it was just a big shock. I've talk with Katie now though, she wacked some sense into me and I'm nervous but excited. I mean how can I not be look at our beautiful daughter another one could be quite nice." she voices smiling. "I also got this I couldn't resist when I saw it on my walk home." she says holding up a tiny one piece. On the front it says in large rainbow letters 'my mummy's love me'.
"It's adorable Ems thank you" I react hugging her and placing a kiss on her head.
"Mumma" Kelly interrupts "What that for?" she asks pointing to the one piece.
"Come sit down Kelly me and Mummy need to tell you something" Emily says looking at me for confirmation. I nod walking over to the couch. No harm in telling Kelly now, honestly I would have told her sooner had Emily known. We sit down Kelly in the middle and Emily and I either side.
"You know how your friend at preschool has a baby brother?" I start knowing Emily and I can take this in turns.
"Yeah his name is Jacob" Kelly confirms smiling.
"Well" Emily takes over "your Mummy is going to have a baby too, your going to have a little brother or sister once they grow all big and strong inside of Mummy" Emily informs. I know there is a lot more me and her need to talk about to do with this but hearing her tell our daughter makes me feel a lot better about it than I did when she left this morning.
"Cool" Kelly says seemingly unfazed. "Can we still go swimming at the pool?" she asks.
Emily and I look at each other for a second then simultaneously burst into laughter. Our daughter really did have her priorities sorted. From the minute I told her we would be going swimming this afternoon that's all she had on her mind. Right now apparently she'd decided this whole baby thing wasn't any kind of issue as long as it didn't prevent us going swimming. Here laughing with Emily about it she certainly had done a good job at breaking the tension.