Chapter 60: Model Misbehavior
Narrator
Fresh out the net box
Stop, look, and watch
Ready yet, get set
It's Family Guy!
We see paparazzi taking photos of the cast as they come out of the limo and they walk on the red carpet.
Chorus:
Oh, oh, oh
This is All That
This is All That!
First it show Frank waling out of the limo with a poster with the words "oh" and he poses for the camera.
Then its shows Meg comes in looking all sexy as she signs autographs while she winks at the fans.
Then it turn to Lois comes in hopping while grabbing rose as she gives a kiss toward the fans.
Chorus:
Check it, check it, check it
Now this is just an introduction
Before I blow your mind
The show is All of That and yes we do it all the time
Then it shows Frank Jr poses as he pull his hat down his chest as he throws a rose to the Fans.
Then next person to show up on the carpet is Stewie. As he flips his hat back to his head while he give autographs to fans.
Then Brian comes in sliding on the red carpet as he waves at the fan as he walks in.
Chorus:
So sit your booty on the floor or in a chair
Ground or in the air
Just don't go nowhere
Then Emily comes in give autographs as she smiles at the fans as she tells one of her fans to call her.
Then the scene shows Persephone puts a rose on her mouth with a sexy angry look on her face.
Chorus:
Cause everything we do
It's all of that!
When entertaining you
We all of that!
Then Chris shimming down the carp as he gives the fan a shout out.
Then Peter slide towards the carpet as he flips his hat back on his head.
Chorus:
My posse and my crew
It's all of that!
So sit still cause we're coming right back
Then the scene shows John throws a rose at his fans.
As the scene, changes to Tyler puts on rose his mouth as he gives everyone thumbs up.
Chorus:
Oh, oh, oh
This is All That
This is All That!
Then scene change to the Family Guy MC Cast walks down the stairs as they take a group photo while looking gangsters of the 80. All this while music ends as the scene fades to black.
Now we join Peter, Frank, Meg and Lois packing their thing for their trip to visit Lois parent's at Pewterschmidt mansion.
"Come on, everybody. Let's go." Peter said as he calls his kids and grandson to the car.
"Oh, this is so exciting. This is the tenth year my father's raced his yacht in the Newport Regatta." Lois said as she excited about her father's raced his yacht in the Newport Regatta.
"Man, I hope he lets me on his team this year. I haven't been part of a team since I was with the Four Peters." Peter said as he sets up a cutaway about his singing group the Four Peters.
Cutaway
The scene shifts to a theater. We see four Peters performing with their vocal cords at a steady rate. They perform the song Eine kleine Nachtmusik by Mozart as each Peter steadily sing.
Cutaway Ends
Now we cut to Stewie and Frank Jr checking the mail as Brian calls them.
"Come on, Guys. Let's go." Brian said as he called them to get in the car.
"Yes, yes. We're just checking the mall." Stewie said as he looks over Frank Jr shoulder as he checks the mail.
"I say, here's one from the vet." Frank Jr said as he take out an envelope for Brian vet.
"Give me that." Brian said as he made a reach for his envelope but Frank Jr open it and what the babies read was really shocking.
"Good lord, worms?" Stewie said in shocked from now knowing that Brian has worms.
"You have worms?" Frank Jr asked Brian if he feels them inside.
"I don't have worms, all right? I just got checked for worms. Oh, wait. No, I do have worms." Brian said as he read the letter that he took back from Frank Jr hand.
"Oh, God. What am I gonna do? I can't afford the medication for this." Brian said in shocked and he know that he can cure himself without money to pay for it.
"Well, you could ask Lois and the fat one." Stewie said as he suggest Brian to asked peter and Lois for a lone.
"No. No. No. You cannot tell them about this, please. Peter is not very discreet with private matters." Brian said as he sets up a cutaway about peter not very discreet with private matters.
Cutaway
The scene shifts to outside of the neighborhood late at night.
"Hey everybody! Persephone just had her first period!" Peter exclaimed, off-screen.
"PETER! Shut up! It's 3 in the morning!" Joe screamed, off-screen.
"What the hell's going on out there?!" Cleveland asked, off-screen.
"Damn it! People are trying to sleep!" Quagmire shouted, off-screen.
"I'm just saying I'm proud of her! She's a woman! Yay!" Peter cheered.
"Yes Peter, that's very hot and I'll deal with it in the morning, but right now I am exhausted!" Quagmire hollered.
Cutaway Ends
Now back to the trio as Brain panic about his worms.
"Just please don't tell them." Brian said as he begs them to not tell Peter and Lois about him having worms.
"Perhaps you should worry a little less about your pride and a little more about the creepy-crawlies shawshanking their way out of your balloon knot, Dude." Frank Jr said to Brian just forget his pride and just ask for help as he and Stewie toward the car.
"Come on, kids. Off to Grandma and Grandpa's house." Lois said as everyone gets in the car.
While Chris feel relive of leave the house. Both John, Tyler look at the clone with awe and confusion.
"Thank God I finally get some time away from the eviI monkey in my closet." Chris said as the evil monkey come out the window and he'll point and show his teeth.
But the evil monkey is shown relaxing after the Mallque/Griffin's departure by smoking a joint and listening to Foghat's "Slow Ride" on vinyl through headphones on Chris' bed.
Now we join the family at Pewterschmidt mansion as Esperanza the Latina maid introduce them to Lois' Parents.
"Mrs. Babs. Mr. Carter. La familia Mallque/Griffin." Esperanza The maid said as she call the griffin in her native tongue.
"Lois, darling. It's wonderfuI to see you." Barbara said as she walks toward her daughter and hug her while Lois is holding both Frank Jr and Stewie.
"Hi, Mom. Hi, Daddy." Lois said as she hug her mom then her dad.
"Grandpa!" Chris, Persephone, Meg shouted at him. Also they ran towards him and hug him.
Hello, who is this young lady, dear? Barbara asked Lois about Emily.
"Her name is Emily Violet Jane Griffin, daughter of Peter Griffin and Margret Chevapravatdumrong, her mother died in a car accident Emily was in and she survived. She moved in with us after her old family died in the car crash." Lois explain her new step daughter origin to her parents, then Barbara hug Emily and tell her she is a part of their family now.
"Hello, everyone." Carter said as he hugs his grandchildren and great grandson.
"Hiya, Mr. Pewterschmidt." Peter and Frank said as they reach for a hang shakes.
"Peter, I see you're still fatter than holy hell. And Frank your still the pillar that my granddaughter soul." Carter said as he insults peter while handshakes Frank's hand and thanking him for taking care of his granddaughter.
"You can read us like a book." Frank said as he and peter still feel low by the insults as peter goofily laughs.
"So, which of the Latin countries are you from? The one with the civiI war, the one with the cocaine or the one with the fancy hats?" Frank Jr asked Esperanza the maid of which the Latin countries she is from.
Now we join the family being introduce to Lois high-schooI room.
"Isn't this fun, Peter? You and I get to stay in my old high-schooI room." Lois said as she hug her husband and she feels Horney about having her boytoy in her room.
"Wow. This looks just like my room at home." Emily said as she looks around the room.
Yeah, except for all the trophies and pictures of friends. Lois said to her as she feels disappointed that her daughter don't have all of this, but Emily whippers to her that she has trophies and twins have friends.
As we see John and Tyler plus Stewie see the trophy case.
"Wow nice trophies Mrs. Griffin!" john and Tyler said as they like trophies.
That's the second most impressive trophy I've ever seen. Stewie said as he set up a cutaway about him seeing the first most impressive trophy he has ever seen.
Cutaway
We see Stewie presenting at an awards ceremony.
"And the Grammy for Album of the Year goes to…Justin Timberlake!" Stewie announced as Justin arrived, but Stewie hits him with the trophy and knocks him out cold.
"Ha! It actually goes to Nelly! Nelly" Stewie corrected.
Cutaway Ends
Now back to the Lois's high-school room
"Wow, Mom. Were you a Miss Teen Rhode Island?" Persephone said as she, Meg and Emily look in awe as they admire their mother trophy of Miss Teen Rhode Island.
"I sure was, Persephone, when I was 16 years old. In fact, your mom was offered a modeling contract." Lois said as she recalls her teenage aspirations to be a model.
"Really? Why didn't you take it?" Emily asked her on why didn't she take the chance to be a model/
"Well, I wanted to, but your grandfather wouldn't let me." Lois said as she start a cutaway about her father not wanting her to be a model.
Cutaway
The scene shifts to a young Loid talking to Carter.
"But Daddy, they offered me a contract!" Lois explained as she holds a piece of paper.
"My girl is not lowering herself to modeling. That sort of uncouth activity is below this family. Now go away. I'm busy" Carter refused as he sat down in front of a huge stereo system while putting on sunglasses. "Farnsworth?"
"The usual sir" Farnsworth puts a cassette on the stereo system as it plays Ride of the Valkyries really loud while it creates a wave and Carter picks up a drink.
Cutaway Ends
The next morning, the real Chris griffin walks to the front yard wearing a robe and checking the mail.
"Bills... Bills... Bills... Who is this Bill character and how does everybody keep getting his mail?" Chris asked until he notice that one of these letter is for him
"Wait, what's this? A letter for Me... From somebody named Samantha?" chris asked as he read the letter.
"Dear Chris, How are you? It's been a while since we've seen each other. I still have feelings for you and wish that you could come on back to the South. We'd be gettin' it on like we were brother and sister or somethin'. Someday, I hope I will see you again. XOXOXO Sam."
"How sweet," Chris said as he then tossed the letter into robe as he went back inside his house with no wife since he is alone to raise his little girl.
Meanwhile inside the house, Chris opens his door to find a tied up the letter with his key to the car on his doorstep.
As he starts to remember Sam, a young girl who lives in Bumblescum, Alabama who appeared in "To Love and Die in Dixie". She befriends Chris Griffin when the Griffin family move there as part of the Witness Protection Program. At first, Chris hung out with her and thought she was a boy, and was later very disturbed when she kissed him. He was relieved to learn that she was a girl, so he could start a proper relationship with her. Chris has not seen her since they moved out of the South and returned to Quahog. He promised to write to her every day, and she promised to learn to read.
"Dear Diary, Jackpot... Again." Chris said as he pack his thing and his daughter because Chris, his daughter are going to Bumblescum, Alabama.
Meanwhile in the Newport Barrington we join the Mallque/Griffin Family with the Pewterschmidt eating lunch while Frank Jr and Stewie look smug at Brian as they know his secret.
"Feeding the worms, are you?" Stewie asking Brian if he is feed what he is eating to his worm inside his stomach.
"Stewie, shut up, all right?" Brian tell stewie to shut up already.
"Yes, I imagine those little Dudes are enjoying quite a feast." Frank Jr said as we see a cutaway about the worms inside Brian's stomach.
Cutaway
We see the inside of Brian's stomach as two worms share a feast together.
"You know what's interesting? I've only been alive for six weeks. I know nothing of the world beyond this dog's stomach. And I still find Six Feet Under pretentious" one worm said.
Cutaway Ends
Now back inside the Newport Barrington as Peter talks to Carter.
"So, Mr. Pewterschmidt, the big race is tomorrow, eh? Bet you're gonna need some big strapping men to help you with your boat." Peter asking if he wants him on his crew.
"Are you calling me gay? No." Carter said as he made peter nerves.
"No, I just thought you might want some extra seamen on your poop deck." Peter said as he made carter piss and he punch him in the face.
Now we join stewie and Frank Jr walk in the motel as they notice a Cash$cam seminar is started, so they went in to see Jim Kaplan is running it.
"Cash scam is your way to make reaI money. You could become rich beyond your wildest dreams by selling these fine products over the phone." Jim Kaplan explain what is Cash$cam and how to used it for yourself to get rich.
"Rich beyond my wildest dreams. I say, I could be a millionaire playboy." Stewie said as he sets up a cutaway about himself becoming a millionaire playboy.
Cutaway
We see Stewie hosting a game with Playboy bunnies.
"Okay, girls. Are you all ready to play? All right, then. One, two, three. Green light. Red light. Green light. Red light. Brandy, you're out. Sorry, you have to sleep with Rob Schneider tonight" Stewie said as Rob Schneider arrived wearing only white briefs.
""Making copies." Remember that?" Rob asked.
"I was born in 1987" Brandy said.
Cutaway Ends
Now we join to the20th annuaI Newport Regatta as they begin their announcement.
"Ladies and gentlemen welcome to the 20th annuaI Newport Regatta. Newport would like to extend a speciaI welcome to all those here today who have children stationed overseas in Iraq." Announcer over P.A said as the rich people look shocked.
"Hahahahahaha! I'm just kidding." Announcer over P.A said as he made a joke.
"Hahahahahaha!" As the rich people were a laughing.
Now we see the mallque/Griffin family walk toward to carter's boat.
"There they are, team Pewterschmidt. Say, where is Frank and where's your husband or as I call him, "my son-in-lard"? Snap. Snap." Carter said as he makes fun of peter again.
"Oh, I'm sure he'll be along, Daddy." Lois said as we see peter and Frank come in sailing in a bathtub.
"Ahoy, Mr. Pewterschmidt." Peter said as he say hello to his father in-law.
"Peter, what the hell are you and Frank doing in my bathtub?| Carter asking him as to why he is sailing in his bathtub.
"Oh, this is not a bathtub. This is the SS Pewterschmidt Kicker." Peter said as he challenged him while his family enter the bathtub.
"This is ridiculous. I won't have a member of my family racing in a bathtub." Carter said as he won't have a member of his family racing in a bathtub.
"Well, Daddy, you didn't want Peter in your boat so team Griffin is gonna give you a run for your money." Lois said as she tells him that this is happening.
"And now, to fire the starting gun is recently paroled presidentiaI assassin, John Hinckley." the Announcer over P.A said as John was at the dock and he fire the starting gun. As the boat race beings with carter's boat in the lead.
"You fired that gun reaI nice, John." Jodie Foster said as she is at a dock with John Hinckley, Jr., her stalker.
"Wow, Jodie Foster. Hey, thanks." John Hinckley said as he thanks her for complement his skills and being here.
"Maybe I was wrong about you. Maybe I was wrong about all men." Jodie Foster said as when she realizes she was wrong about men and take his hand to go somewhere.
Now back to the race as the Mallque/Griffin family Bathtub is losing speed.
"We're not going fast enough." Lois said as they are losing speed as carter shouts at them.
"Loser!" Carter shouted at their bathtub.
"What did he say?" Frank asked his family until carter throws a cell phone inside the bathtub.
The cell phone rings and Frank Jr answers it.
"Hello?" Frank Jr said as he answers the phone.
"I said you're a loser." Carter said from his boat with his cellphone.
"Who is this?" Frank Jr question the person on the phone.
"Tell him that he has a small wiener!" Tyler tells Frank Jr insult the caller for calling them losers.
As Lois spots the finish line at Newport Regatta.
"There's the finish line. We can't let him beat us." Lois said as she thinks they are losing because they need something to beat carter.
"We gotta lose some extra weight. Quick, everyone, take off your clothes." Peter said as everyone undress leaving only their underwear.
|It's working." John said as they gain speed in the bathtub.
"Just need a little more?" Peter said until Frank threw him over border to gain more speed.
"We love you, honey." Lois shouted her love to peter as they cross the finish line as winners. Until carter spoils their fun from what they did to win.
"Lois, what the hell were you doing out there? Woah, What's with your blonde daughter's getup?" Carter said as he asked why Lois strip and why Emily is wearing diapers.
"Emily is in contended from the car crash and not listening to you for once, Daddy and look what happened. I had a lot of fun. I should've stopped listening to you a long time ago." Lois said as she tells carter she is not listing to him anymore.
"Let's go home, Frank." Lois said frank that they are leaving.
"Right behind you." Frank said as they begin to leave until they notice someone was missing.
"Hey, where's Peter?" Lois asked Frank on where is her husband?
Now we see Seamus and his fisherman catch Peter, along with a bunch of fish, in a net while at sea.
"What is it, sir?" one of the fisherman asking on what peter is.
"That's what we call a manatee, boys or, in nauticaI slang, the sea-cow." Seamus said as he tells them that peter is a manatee which made peter feel stupid.
Now we join ourselves at the Mallque/Griffin house as Brian has in itch in his crotch.
"Damn these worms. Ow, this itch." Brian said as he drag his butt on the floor until Frank Jr and Peter came in.
"Brian, what the hell are you doing?" Peter asking his dog on what he is doing.
"Nothing. Just some Pilates." Brian said as he lies while doing fake Pilates but they didn't buy it.
"Don't lie to me, Brian. I know what this is." Peter said in a smug voice.
"You're looking for an ass-race." Frank Jr said as he know knew what Brian is doing but he got it wrong.
"First one to the kitchen wins. Go!" Peter said as they all ass race toward the kitchen and then Stewie arrived.
"Still got the worms, eh?" Stewie aching Brian if he still got the worms.
"Yeah, that stupid medicine's $300." Brian said as he complains that he still doesn't have the medicine because it cause $300.
"Well, let me make you a proposaI. I'll front you the money, and you pay it off by working for me." Stewie said as he offers Brian some money and he pay it off by working for him.
"Cashscam? Are you kidding? I don't want anything to do with that pyramid scheme." Brian said as he doesn't want to do Cashscam.
"Very well, then. Enjoy your worms." Stewie said as he is about to walk away until Brain stops him.
"Wait. Wait. What would I have to do?" Brian said as he caves in to Stewie request.
"Just be in my room tomorrow at 9:00 a.m. for orientation. UntiI then, keep this in mind. Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right. See you tomorrow." Stewie said as he walks away while he plans for his cash scam.
Now we see Lois come in through the house door in the living room with a newspaper.
"Hey, everybody. Wait till you see this." Lois said as peter come in to take the paper and looks shocked.
"Oh, my God. Movable printed type." Peter said as he give the newspaper to Frank Jr.
"We must keep this from the serfs lest they gain literacy and threaten the landed gentry." Frank Jr said as he looks outside to his serfs working on his turnips.
"What you got there, my Young lord?" The serfs asked Frank Jr on what he has in his hand.
"Nothing. Back to your turnips." Frank Jr shouted at them to get back to work and they did. As Frank Jr and peter went back inside Lois took the paper back and show the rest of the kids what she has learned.
"Look, it's a picture of us at the Regatta." Lois said as it shows them the newspaper of the family at the Regatta.
"Wow, Mom. You look pretty." Chris said as he comments his mother is pretty in the picture.
"Thank you, Chris. I thought so, too. And you know what? I'm gonna take that chance my father never let me take when I was younger. I'm gonna become a modeI." Lois said
"Hey, that's fantastic, Lois. And I'll pleasure myself to your photos." Peter said as he tells her he will masturbates to her photos.
This disgust both John and Tyler also Emily.
"Me, too.' Chris said in agreement which disgust Frank and he slap him in the head.
"Me, too." Meg said until Frank saw a vision of peter kicking her out because she said me too for pleasure herself to Lois photos.
So he decides to change this moment by make peter the victim.
"Oh, God. Peter, that's sick." Frank shouted at peter for saying that and peter feel guilty for it.
"That's your wife." Frank said as he agrues peter for saying for that which made John and Tyler agree with him though they didn't know what Frank is doing.
"I'm just trying to fit in." Peter said as he tries to explain himself but Emily wouldn't have it.
"Get out. Get out of this house." Emily shouted as she tries drag him out of the house and lock the door.
They all pause after that for not taking her seriously, Until Frank Punches through wall which scared Peter.
"She said now!" Frank said as Peter runs out; Meg shuts door.
"That's good about your modeling, Mom." Frank said as Meg feel that she was save for humiliation from her father. So she goes to Frank and kiss him on the cheek.
"You and me upstairs, we are going to have awesome shower sex tonight." Meg said as Frank is turn on by it. They ran upstairs to the bathroom to get busy loving tonight.
Now we join Lois and Emily at Goldman's Pharmacy as they pick up Lois pictures.
"Here are your pictures, Lois. They sure are terrific." Mort said as Lois goes threw her photos.
She has a photo of herself in a purple dress, herself in a blue long shirt with a black skirt, herself in a pink dress and pink sun hat, finally herself with blue hoop earrings and blue dress.
"Thank you, Mort. I'm trying to get into modeling." Lois said as she explains to mort that she is going get into modeling again.
"And I'm her manager her schedule." Emily replay since she wants to help her out.
"That's great." Mort said until he notice something enter his store and he is piss off.
"Oh, hey! Get out of here." Mort said as he grab the broom and finds The Greased-up deaf guy reading a magazine.
"Hey, go on. Get out." Mort said as he chase him around the store.
"I didn't hurt anybody." The Greased-up deaf guy said as he is being chase out of the store while telling mort that they are friends.
"Scat, Mister. Mort said as he brush his broom to push out The Greased-up deaf guy out of his store.
"I know deep down I'm your friend." The Greased-up deaf guy said as he shout from outside the store then leave.
"That greased-up deaf guy is going to be the death of me. Like business isn't bad enough already." Mort said as he complain about business is falling apart.
"Well, gosh, Mort. You ever think about sending out a maller? 'Cause I know where you could get a good deaI on a modeI." Lois said as she offer him her services to be the stores model.
Until the greased-up deaf guy comes back in and touch everything.
"I'm touching on the candy." The greased-up deaf guy said as he runs around the store and touch all the stuff inside.
"Get out. Get out." Mort said as he continues his chase until the greased-up deaf guy was out of the store and he groans for running around the store.
As Lois begin her journey toward being a model as the scene shows Lois in photoshots in a pink dress using deodorant, One of Lois's photoshoot when the dog is tearing off her underwear, is a parody of the Coppertone girl, last one is her show herself in a red dress spirt a douche bottle.
Now we join Brain walk towards stewie room to see it looks like an office.
What the hell is all this? Brian shouted out loud while looking shocked as Frank Jr come close to him in a suit.
Oh, Brian, you're here. Good. Frank Jr said as Stewie come in to help jr with the tour.
Oh, Brian, Okay, let me give you the rundown. This is your work area. Stewie said as his point out Brian's work area.
"Please keep personal knickknacks tasteful. You get 25 minutes for lunch, and enjoy it here." Stewie said as he gives his demand in the work place to Brian and went back to his office.
"Welcome aboard." Frank Jr said as he works here as well both John and Tyler.
Then Brian toward the door to Stewie office and knocked on it.
"Yes?" Stewie asked threw the door.
"It's Brian." Brian said that he is here.
"Oh, yes, the new fellow. Come on in." Stewie said as Brian comes into Stewie office.
"What exactly am I supposed to do?" Brian asked him on what he should do.
"You'll pick up the phone and you'll sell, sell, sell. But before you go thinking it's all seriousness the first Friday of every month is Wacky-Tacky-Tie Day so, you know, start thinking up some fun tacky ties to wear." Stewie said as he was explain to Brian what he is doing here, after he was done explaining He went back to work but Brian never left.
"Oh, we're done. "Stewie said as he send him off.
Now we join ourselves at Cleveland deli with Peter and Lois waiting for their sandwich.
"Here you go, guys." Menma said as he passes their sandwiches while Cleveland comes to their table to asked Lois something
"Lois, could I be a son of a bitch and impose on you to sign one of your flyers for me." Cleveland said as he brought flies for her to sign over.
Of course, Cleveland. Lois said as she is flatter by his jester.
"Oh, man. I can't believe I'm sleeping with a modeI. I'm luckier than the State of Rhode Island." Peter said as he sets up a cutaway about the State of Rhode Island.
Cutaway
We see politicians trying to sign a bill.
"Well, I can't decide what to call this place. We'll flip a coin. All right. Heads, Rhode Island. Talls, Ca-ca-poo-poo-pee-pee-shire" politician 1 said.
Cutaway Ends
Now back to the griffin couple eating as a very old women come to them asking Lois something.
"Pardon me. Are you Lois Griffin, the Goldman's Pharmacy girI?" the old women asked her if she is Lois griffin.
"Yes, I suppose I am." Lois reply her answer.
"Karin Parotta, modeling agent. Listen, sugar, I've seen your stuff. You're a breath of fresh air in my stoma. I could get you a lot more work if you sign with my agency." Karin Parotta introduce herself as a modeling agent who wants to help Lois Griffin jumpstart her modeling career. She is a heavy smoker and, as a result she has a large stoma in her neck, which she still smokes through.
"Really? Oh, my God! How exciting." Lois said in excitement as Emily nodded in agreement.
"Well, here's my card. Also bring your daughter, she looks great and Give me a call. Now, perhaps some young gentleman would like to light me up." Karin Parotta asking for someone to light up her cigarette.
"Allow me." Quagmire said as he light up her cigarette as This stoma was a turn-on to Glenn Quagmire.
"So, what's going on? You ever get freaky with that thing or what?" Quagmire asks if she uses it for sex.
Now we join Chris at Bumblescum and he is working his way to woe Sam to bed.
"Howdy Addicts! We all know how tough them those Southern girls can be, so here's a little 101 to help you tame Sam."
As we see Sam at the pond think about Chris give her flower and having some of that nasty sex, she heard about.
"You'll be directed to learn about Sam. You need to bring up an instruction box with further details on exactly how to win Sam's heart by attacking her with Flowers. Sam is similar to other girls we have seen in past events in that she's the big baddie who keeps on giving. But just how do we get her to drop the goodies? Well we need to attack her with Flowers." Frank said from his head
As Chris takes her out to the swamp as the skip rocks. This cause Sam to get turn on and she kisses him for remembering their first time the met. Then after making out they had pot cookies.
"You know, you did great today. So much better than last week. And I have a surprise for you. You have earned one of Anna Barnes' very special super-super-secret cookies." Sam said as she passes her cookies to Chris.
"Mmm-hmm." Chris said as he taste the cookie in his mouth until he notice something weird about the cookie.
"Wait, what is this? Mmm-hmm?" Chris said as he taste the cookie again.
"This is a pot... This is a pot cookie, isn't it?" Chris asked her as he now know that his cookie has pot in it.
"It's a pot cookie." Sam said her answer which made chris freak out.
"No, no, no. No. I don't do well with that stuff at all." Chris said as he panics about getting heigh off his balls.
"It's a pot cookie." Sam said her answer again which made Chris more nerves.
"Yeah, I know. No, thank you." Chris
"Just have a little bit with me. My worst fear is to OD on a recreational drug." Chris said as he stammers.
No, thank you. Chris said as he reject the cookie drug effects.
"On a pot cookie?" Sam asked him about the cookie.
"The last time somebody gave me one of these I became convinced that prairie dogs could read my mind." Chris said his fear which made Sam giggle a bit.
"Just take a little bit. I'll take a very, very small bite. Just a small bite. A very small bite." Chris said as he takes a small bite of his cookie.
"That's it. Are you kidding me?" Sam said as she question him on what he is doing.
"Nope. Deadly serious." Chris said his response.
"Hahahahahaha!" Sam laughing as she passes him another cookie.
"Let's see what this does and if I don't throw myself off this cliff during some awful freak-out, then..." Chris said as he eats the cookie.
"Just take that little bit, right there." Sam said as she guide him on his height journey.
"Well, now you've touched it." Chris said as he eats the cookie and gets height as a kite.
"Hahahahahaha!" Sam laughing at what Chris said.
"Take the other side. There you go. There. And now, we just wait for the sun to set." Sam said as she still guiding him.
"This is really weird. Is it supposed to be like this?" Chris said as he question his trip experience.
"Hihihihihi!" Sam chuckling
"You gave me the right amount, right? You don't think I took too much?" Chris asked her if she gave him the right amount of cookies.
"Just ride it out." Sam said her response.
"This is... Wow, my bones are in really deep today. Like, there's a lot more skin than there usually is. I think my body is padding up for the winter, which is weird, because it's not winter. But there's a lot more there." Chris said some weird stuff As Sam laughing at him.
"Oh..." Chris said as he feels weird right now.
As Chris tries to swallowing something in his mouth.
"There's something wrong with my swallowing." Chris said about his swallowing.
This is not how I usually swallow. Chris said as he is height and he weird when he is height.
As a prairie dogs squeaking and out of his hole which freak out Chris.
"Oh, my God, sam, he knows." Chris said as he freaks out.
"What, what, what?" Sam asking him.
"He knows what we're doing, he knows what this is. He knows what this is. I don't wanna... No, I don't wanna join. I don't wanna join up." Chris said as he take Sam somewhere else on their date.
Now we join Brian at his office in Stewie and Frank Jr room working around the clock until Stewie called him.
"Brian, could you come in here for one second?" Stewie asked from his intercoms.
As Brian went to Stewie office to see him on the phone.
Yeah, what is? Brian asked him until Frank Jr shush him.
"Hang on." Frank Jr said as Stewie nodded at frank Jr for helping him.
"Hang on one second. Yes, Grover, what is it? This has to be quick. I am so pressed. Yes, the letter "G" is wonderfuI. Of course, and the number "6." Stewie said as he is using his sesame street phone to talk to grover.
"Okay. Okay. Grover. Grover. Grover. Grover. Grover. You know what? If you're gonna shout, we can just talk later. Okay. All right, you know what? Call me back when you calm down." Stewie said as he hang up the phone.
"You wanted something?" Brian asking him what he wanted him to do.
"Oh, yes. Can you go ahead and send Lois a congratulatory basket? Thank you. Oh, and if Cookie Monster calls, tell him I'm not talking to him untiI he gets out of rehab." Stewie said as he tell Brian to give Lois a congratulatory basket and sets up a cutaway about cookie monster being in rehab.
Cutaway
We see Cookie Monster in rehab as 3 doctors enter.
"Contraband check. What are these?" doctor 1 asked as he found a plate of cookies.
"I don't know" Cookie Monster said.
"What do you mean, you don't know?" doctor 1 asked.
"I don't know how they got there" Cookie Monster explained.
"Well, I think you do know" doctor 1 wondered.
"No. No, Derek was in here earlier. He was making the beds. He probably put them…I was in the john" Cookie said as he…starts eating the cookies, but the doctors stop him from eating. "You guys are Nazis, man! You're freaking Nazis!" Cookie Monster screamed as another doctor gave him a shot to put him to sleep. The other remaining doctor shushed him and pat his head.
Cutaway Ends
Now we join Lois and Emily at the photography studio for their first take.
"Well, here we are, Lois and Emily. Your first professionaI photo shoot." Karin said as she cheers for her girls first take.
"Oh Karin, this is so exciting." Emily said as she and Lois are in their bikinis for their take.
"Knock them dead, Girls." Frank said as peter gives them the thumbs up.
"Hey. Peter Griffin. How's it going? See that red head? I'm, uh… I'm hitting that." Peter brag to one of the guys that works here about his wife.
As the scene change to photo takes of Lois in her bikini until it changes to a cover of cosmopolitan with a message saying inside: is pooping the new vomiting? Then it changes to an issue cover of Victoria's secret with Emily in red bra and underwear with pink wings. The message said inside: maybe someone's boob pops out!
Now we return to Stewie's room with Brian making a call.
"Hi, is Mr. Donald Nguyen there, please? And is he the head of the household? If I can just have a few moments of your time Hello?" brain asking on the phone for Donald nyuyen but nobody answer.
As Stewie walk by to his office with john and Tyler listening in.
"Oh, Brian, there you are. Can I talk to you about something?" Stewie asked him for a minute of his time.
"Yeah, what is it?" Brianasked him on what he wants now.
"That coffee mug you have on your desk that says, "Life's a beach" that's dangerously close to the word "bitch," isn't it?" Stewie asked about his coffee mug on his desk that says, "Life's a beach" was dangerously close to the word "bitch."
Yeah, that's the joke. Brian said his response.
"Absolutely, and nobody appreciates a joke like Stewie. And, you know, between you and Frank Jr, I think it's a stitch but some of the other employees have found it offensive." Stewie said as he like the joke but the other employees have found it offensive.
"Other employees? Who else works here besides me?" Brian asked him who works here.
"John, Tyler and fucking you. That's who works here!" Stewie said as he get anger by shouting at Brian until Frank Jr knock him out.
"Five hour break everybody." Frank Jr said as he drag s Stewie to bed.
Now its night time at the Mallque/Griffin house as Lois is cooking dinner with low rider jeans with black heel shoes and only wearing a black tang top showing off her rocking hard body.
"Dinner's almost ready, kids." Lois said to the children as peter come in into the kitchen.
"Wow, Lois, look at you. You're like Britney Spears except you're not a fat guy." Peter said as he comment on his wife beauty.
Until the doorbell rings as someone was at the door.
"I'll get it." Emily said as she is blue skirt with black heel shoes and only wearing a black tang top showing off her rocking hard body with Lois join her while they leave the kitchen.
"Dad, how could you be okay with Mom and Emily parading themselves around like this? I mean, both of them are half-naked. It makes all women look bad." Meg said as she is jealous for not invite them to their model shoot.
"Meg, who let you back in the house?" Peter asking her why she in the house since he remember that Meg was supposed to be out of the house for her remark about masturbating to Lois photos not him.
Until the room got cold and peter turnaround to see Frank was doing it.
"Hey peter, who let you back in the house?" Frank said in a threating voice which made Peter scared and cause him to run away while Meg got Horney again.
As Emily and Lois answer the door to see it was Karin.
"Oh, Karin. Come on in." Lois said as she welcome her to her house.
"Lois, Emily, I got your new headshots, and I set up a shoot for you two over at Glamour next Monday but, sugar, you both are gonna need these to stay on top." Karin said as she passes them some diet pills to stay skinning.
"Diet pills? Karin, I'm not gonna take these. I don't need to." Emily said as she doesn't need these.
"Emily, sooner or later every modeI needs a little boost, huh? I just wanna make sure you two got everything you need." Karin said as she pressured her to take diet pills.
"Hey, you two like Pez?" Karin asked them if they like Pez.
"Sure." Lois said as Karin can also dispense Pez candy from her large stoma.
Now we join Frank, Peter and Lois going to the drunken clam.
"Hey, who's putting together a puzzle? 'Cause I just found a hot piece." Peter said as he and Lois enter and she look super-hot like hell.
The guy in the bar were awe and getting Horney at Lois.
"Wow. Lois, you look great. I'd like to split you in half like a piece of lumber." Quagmire said as he want to do something nasty to Lois.
"Thank you, Glenn." Lois said as she thanks him for his comment.
"Yeah, Lois. I'd like to wear you like a hockey mask." Joe said as he wants to wear her like a mask.
"You guys!" Lois said as she feel all giddy and it made both peter and frank both nervous.
Okay, easy, fellas. Frank said as he tries to calm the gang down.
"Lois, I'd like to make a carameI-colored baby with you." Cleveland said as he wants to make a carameI-colored baby with her.
"Take it easy, Cleveland." Peter said as he get disturb until Horace start it all.
"Take your jacket off." Horace said as the people in the bar started to cheer.
"Jacket off. Jacket off. Jacket off." All the men chanted Lois to take of her jacket which she did and it made peter mad.
"All right. All right. That's it. That's enough." Peter said as he drags his wife away to a corner of the bar.
"Peter, what are you doing?" Lois asking him what he is doing.
"Lois, if you being a modeI means you're going to be eye-candy for the whole town, then I ain't going for it." Peter said as he becomes very jealous of the lust she inspires in other men.
"Excuse me? Who do you think you are, my father?" Lois said in anger as she doesn't take his behavior.
"Lois, I think Meg was right. Both you and Emily Lowering yourselves and women and something and all that noise." Peter said as he Desperate to get her out of the fashion world.
"You can't stop me from modeling, Peter. This is important to me. I am going to the top, and there's nothing you or anyone else can do about it." Lois said as she runs away to the women's restroom toward the mirror.
Who the hell does he think he is? Lois said to her reflection and looks at the diet pills.
Lois then takes them and she heard a noise. She went towards the source and found cookie monster.
After being injected with anesthesia several times, he was soon released from rehab. He went back on his cookie binge, being caught by Lois Griffin free-basing in a women's restroom.
"Come on. Come on. [He Notices Lois] Go away!" Cookie monster said As He tries to make a cookie by burning cookie dough on a spoon, which is similar to the way heroin is prepared.
Now we join ourselves at the Mallque/Griffin house as The family watches television while waiting for Lois and Emily.
"We now return to Mmm-mmmh." the announcer said on tv.
As we see a Room with three black women.
"Mmm-hmmm." The first black hummed to the second black lady
"Mmm-hmmmh." The second black hummed to the first black lady.
"Mmm-hmmm." The third black lady hummed to end it.
As the studio audience laughs at their shenanigans.
As Lois and Emily come in to the front door. Lois look like she as lost weight and Emily looks tired from what they just did.
"Hey, there, sweetie. I got a wax this morning, and let's just say - you're cleared for landing, huh?" Lois said as she mentions that her hair down stairs is wax and she is ready for some kinky sex.
"Giggidy!" Quagmire shouted from outside the house.
"Lois, Emily, what the hell's up with you two lately? You're acting all weird, and you're staying out all night." Peter asked them as he is worried sick about them.
"I was just out with some of the girls, and you're not gonna believe this. We got invited to a Vogue magazine party." Lois said as they were invited to a Vogue magazine party.
"That guest list is more exclusive than the Garden of Eden." Emily said
Cutaway
We see Adam and Eve with God and Frank Prime at the Garden of Eden.
"So, basically, you can eat from any tree you want, except this one" God explained as there was dirty magazines hidden behind the tree.
"Can we sit underneath it?" Adam asked.
"You know, I would just not go near it at all" Frank Prime explained as he and god smiled to hide their truth.
Cutaway Ends
Now we join the Chris and Sam couple kissing at her farm.
"God, I love you." Chris said as he kiss Sam in the mouth.
"I love you, too." Sam said as she return the kiss in mouth.
As Sam Moaning from the kissing
"Are you cold?" Chris asked her if she is cold.
"A little." Sam said as she feels a little cold.
"Here, take..." Chris said as he passes a blanket.
"No, no, no! It's okay." Sam said as she doesn't want it.
"No, it's fine. Here." Chris said as he gives her the blanket
As they look at the stars and Chris remembers something
"Sighs, I can't get that goddamn moustache song out of my head." Chris said as he complains about a song in his head.
"Oh, just think of another song." Sam said.
"I can't. There's only, like, three songs." Chris said as he only know three songs.
"Oh, that's true. And they're all by Stephen Foster." Sam said as she agrees with him.
"Yeah. Chris said.
"Mmm." Sam said.
"Sighs Um... Hey, you know, whatever happens tomorrow, I just... I just want to say thank you. Uh... I couldn't have gotten this far without you. And this may be the booze talking, or your pep talk, or both, but I think I can do it. You know, I think I can live with my kid in peace." Chris said as he thanks her for being there for him.
"Well, I'll tell you this, you sound a lot more confident than that guy who dragged me out of the saloon not too long ago." Sam said as she gets turn on.
"You know, it's funny. I still feel like I don't know anything about you after all this time. And I feel like every time I bring it up, you change the subject." Chris said as he question her origin.
"There really isn't that much to tell. My story is a lot like yours, I suppose. Because I'll tell you, I hate the West just as much as you do." Sam said as she tells him that she is normal.
"Do you really?" Chris said as she tells him that she loves him.
"For my own reasons, but, yeah." Sam said her answer.
"Oh, I like you even more now. There is something about connecting over mutual hatred that's just so much deeper than mutual love." Chris said as their bond is stronger now.
"It's true, right? If two people hate the same things, it creates a bond. Hate can move mountains." Sam said as they both laugh for what they said.
"Yeah. I, um... It's late." Sam said as she wants to go home.
"Yeah, I should take you home." Chris said as he pack up his things and takes her to her front door.
"Oh, thanks. Good luck tomorrow." Sam said good night.
"Okay. Um..." Chris said until Sam gave him some tongue.
As Sam chuckles and Chris look surprised,
"Good night." Chris said as he went back to his house.
Now we join Brian at Stewie's office for his quarterly evaluation
"Brian, thanks for showing up so promptly for your quarterly evaluation. Now, then. I'm going to do something I call the compliment sandwich where I say something good, then talk about where you need improvement and then end with something good." Stewie
"Whatever you gotta do." Brian said his response.
"Okay. Let's see. Something good. Something good. Something good. You look like Snoopy, and it makes me smile. Where you need improvement. You have smelly dog farts." Stewie said as he likes Brian look like snoopy and hates his farts.
As Brian shrug it off.
"Something good. Something good. You really dazzled that rep from the Cincinnati office last week." Stewie said as he sets up a cutaway about himself and Brian.
Cutaway
We see Stewie in a suit and mustache as he watches Brian pointing on a pie chart.
"That is sensational. You really made me feel confident about those numbers. Listen, if you're ever looking for a change of scenery... we could sure use a fellow like you in Cincinnati" Stewie said.
Cutaway Ends
Now back to Stewie's room as Brian argue with Stewie.
That was you in disguise. Brian said as he just interview Stewie.
"No, it wasn't. Stewie said as he lied.
"Yes, it was." Brian said his response.
"No, it wasn't." Stewie said as he lied.
"Fine, it wasn't." Brian said as he gave up the argument.
"It was." Stewie said as he tells the truth.
Now we join Frank and Peter at Pewterschmidt mansion as they collaborates with Carter to get Lois and Emily back on track.
"Mr. Pewterschmidt, I need your help. Lois is out of controI. I mean, she's acting crazier than I did that time I tried Ecstasy." Peter said as he sets up a cutaway about himself using ecstasy.
Cutaway
We see Peter, Stewie, and Brian watching TV as Peter starts acting weird.
"Oh, Brian, your fur is so soft. Oh, your ears. Your ears are like dog ears. Oh, this couch" Peter starts touching Stewie as he makes noises. "Stewie, your head is so smooth. How is that even…How you doing that? How you doing that? Oh! Everything here is fantastic. Oh, these clothes" he undresses to his underwear as he lies on the floor continuing to make stupid noises and moving around all stupid.
Cutaway Ends
Now back to Pewterschmidt mansion.
"I'm really worried about her, Mr. Pewterschmidt and I figured I'd come to you since you were always good at reeling her in." Frank said as he begs for his help.
"Well, Lois was always a wild stallion but don't worry. I know how to controI her. And I'll help you but first, Peter griffin must have to do something for me." Carter said as he pull out a pine cone.
"Eat this pine cone, Peter." Carter said as it shocked Frank and Peter.
"Well?" Peter said in question until Frank elbow his side as sign that they need to do this to save lois.
"Eat it. It will amuse me." Carter said as he tells peter to eat to amuse him.
As Peter begins eats the pine cone and he doesn't like eating it at all.
"How is it? How does it taste?" Carter asked him about the pine cone as peter is still eating it.
"It's awfuI." Peter said as he doesn't like eating pine cone while Frank cover his eyes so he can't watch.
"Finish it. Eat it." Carter said as he tells him to finish eating the pine cone.
"I hate it." Peter said as he is eating the pine cone.
"Eat it. Eat it. Swallow it." Carter said as he tells him to swallow all of the pine cone.
"It hurts." Peter said as he is struggling to swallow the pine cone.
"This is for Lois, Pops. Go on." Frank said as he cheers him on.
"It hurts!" Peter said as he is in pain while swallowing the pine cone and he was done, the pine cone was in his stomach.
"Good." Carter said as he is pleased by what peter did.
"All right. We good to go?" Frank asked carter if they are ready to save Lois from herself.
"Yup." Carter said his response.
So they team up and they decided kidnap her at a Vogue party at the metro club at night. As their limo arrive at the club near the red carpet, they were dress up as people who are part of the party. Frank was dress in gangster clothing, Carter wearing a beaning plus white tang top and jeans and Peter is dress like a lady with purple louse blouse shirt, black jeans plus long straight brown hair.
"All right, how's my man-tan?" Carter asked them about his man tan.
"There we go. All set." Frank said as he finish spraying Carter man tan to perfection.
"Good. A little body glitter for you, pops." Frank said as he puts glitter on Peters Man boobs to make him look hot.
"Yeah. Yeah. That's hot. That's hot." Carter said until his notice what he said and he stop.
"All right, let's do this." Carter said as they got into the club until Frank asked him something.
"What are you doing to him? Like ... obvious." Frank asked carter if he was going to take peter in the back and wreak him.
"Shut up." Carter said as he dismiss the rumors of what he just said.
Now we join Lois talking to one of her model friends about how skinning they are.
"Check out these ribs, Lois." Lois's model friend said as she reveal her rib cage.
"Oh, yeah? That's nothing." Lois said as she show her rib cage which made look super skin and unhealthy.
"Go ahead. Try them out." Lois said as she dare her friend to play with her ribs cage.
So her model friend played Lois's Ribs like a xylophone and they sound like a xylophone
As Emily was there at the bar of the party hoping that someone can stop her mom before it too late.
"Hey, not bad." Lois's model friend said Until Frank, peter and carter bag Lois and drag her out of the party into their limo with Emily included.
"You see Jimmy Smits in there?" Carter asked them if they see Jimmy Smits at the party.
"Yeah. Emily said as Peter was excited.
"Yeah, that was cooI." Frank said as he was having a good day.
Now back to Stewie office with Brian get his business.
"So, what did you wanna see me about?"
"You know, Brian, there was a note in the suggestion box that says: "Stewie should eat a steaming bag of " Well, I'm not gonna say the last word, but I think you know what it is." Stewie asked him about the note saying that "Stewie should eat a steaming bag of shit!" and Frank Jr laugh the last word and he quiet himself foe Stewie to continued.
"Look, Brian, a corporation is a lot like a centipede. It only works if all the legs are moving toward the same end. And you know what you are, Brian?" Stewie asked him about what was his part in the corporation.
"You're a busted leg." Stewie said the answer and Brian knew what it means.
"What? Are you firing me?" Brian said in shocked.
"Don't think about coming back and shooting up the place because security has your picture." Stewie said as it show Rupert dress as a cop with brian wanted poster.
Until Rosie and Maddie busted into Stewie office dress as cops.
"Freeze, scum bag!" Maddie shout at Stewie to surrender as Stewie raised his hand in the air.
"What the hell are you guys doing?" Stewie shouted as Rosie puts hand cuffs.
"Stewart Gilligan Griffin, you are under arrest for cash scam and creating a company without informing the legal system." Rosie said to Stewie that his cash scam is over.
Bull shit, I'm clean you fool. You cops have nothing on me. Steiwe said as he is innocent.
"Oh I beg to differ." Maddie said as John, Tyler and Frank Jr were wearing wires.
This piss off Stewie as they drag him away out of his office.
"I got your badge numbers. You better hope I never get out!" Stewie shout from the hallway.
"What the fuck that I just witness?" Brian said out loud.
Now we join Peter, Emily, Frank and Carter with Lois on the chair in the living room.
"What the hell are you guys doing?" Lois asked them on what they are doing to her.
"You're not leaving this room untiI you agree to stop this modeling thing once and for all." Carter said as he demands that Lois quit her modeling career.
"This isn't gonna work, you guys." Emily said as she and frank realized something.
"Why can't you understand I'm doing what I want?" Lois said as she has great desire for modeling.
"Jeez, Carter, what are we doing? I mean, if Mom wants to be a modeI we don't got any right to stop her." Frank said as he seeing his mother in law's great desire for modeling. Soon acquiesces to Lois' career, insisting to Carter that it is her right.
"You really mean that, Frank and Peter?" Lois asked him if they mean it.
"Of course, we do. We just want you to be happy." Peter said his response with frank nodding with aprovel.
"This is ridiculous. No daughter of mine is going to be happy." Carter said as he is being stubborn and that just made Frank mad.
"Excuse me, Carter. I think I owe you this." Frank said as he punch carter in the face.
That's for giving me a book last Christmas. Peter said as he kicked carter in the ball for good measure.
"You're rich, you jerk." Emily said as she slam her Elbow on his chest.
"Well, Lois, I guess you should go ahead and get back to your party." Frank said as he leading her toward the door.
Until he notice that Lois isn't leaving.
"What's wrong? Aren't you gonna go do your little turn on the catwalk, Lois? On the catwalk? Yeah, on the catwalk? Do your little turn on the catwalk?" peter asked her why she isn't leave toward the party.
"Well, now that you say you're fine with it to be honest, I'm not really sure I wanna do it anymore. I think all I really wanted was the freedom to know I could and now I have it because I have you two." Lois said as she realizing that she indeed has the full freedom to fulfill her wishes, she quits the career anyway
You sure do, Lois. Peter said as they hug and Lois notice that her father is still knocked out.
"What are we gonna do with him?" Lois asked them
"Hey, you wanna make him really mad, Lois? Let's have sex on his back like we used to." Peter said as Peter and Lois have sex on Carter's back
Which causes Frank and Emily to leave the house and they decide to go back to the Vogue party.
"Groaning, What the hell's going on?" Carter said as he start to wake up until he see Peter and Lois having sex.
As carter Screaming with disgust until peter crashing a lap on carter head which knocks him out again.
Chapter ends
I hope everyone enjoyed! This is thanking for pen123 and Family Guy Fan writer 15, Thank you all for cutaways, scenes, favoring, having me on alerts and with that. So enjoy and see you next chapter.