So fast forward a couple of weeks and my fans are at the All Access chanting my name and showing my posters. Even the old Divas of Destruction posers. I don't care how many times I go to these events or how many times I headline I still feel special seeing that ocean of fans out there showing their support.

I had a feeling Jessica might show up as moral support tonight for me. She hadn't been to any of the WWE events since she walked out and declared she was done with WWE. We all thought she did that for a dramatic effect and would come back in a week or two showing off this new found phoenix personality. But, that didn't happen. It wasn't some crazy attempt to negotiate a new contract or drum up a larger fan base or more air time. She wasn't sticking it to the company. She genuinely didn't want to work for WWE anymore and there wasn't anything anyone was going to say to convince her to stay.

I wasn't going to force her to do something she didn't love anymore. As much as I love traveling the world with my best friends I love my best friends health too and if she feels it's in her best interest to leave WWE then that's what she needs to do. I can't be selfish and force her to stay somewhere she doesn't feel welcome anymore. Madison and I got this. We're still two of the baddest bitches in the business and Jess can go be bad ass anywhere she wants in the world. She's always going to be my sister and I'm always going to love her.

I'm not going to lie though. Her leaving felt like the betrayal that broke up the D.O.D all over again minus the physical beating and the staples in the back of my head.

_flashback to the night of the walk out_

Roxy: "What the fuck just happened out there?"

Madison: "Well, to put it in a nut shell, Jess just pulled a CM Punk. She dropped a pipe bomb and split."

I spotted Jess talking to Dean and Dean hugging her like he'd never see her again and I decided to get to the bottom of this.

Roxy: "Excuse me, what the fuck just happened out there?"

Jessica: "I'm no longer working for WWE. I'm not wrestling for them or anything. I quit."

Roxy: "Just like that. You decided to up and quit without talking to anyone first?"

Jessica: "I quit because it's no longer the WWE I love and became a fan of. It's this ghost of what it used to be. This PG Era is killing everything. I can't do it anymore. I'm tired of the nit-picking over stupid shit. I'm tired of being told to hold back. I'm tired of being told what I can and can't do. My full potential is being held back by Total Diva Drama bullshit."

Roxy: "So, basically standing up to Mark and The Authority is bullshit now."

Jessica: "No. I never said that. That was a legit thing and so was the revolution and the respect we all earned from it. That was a legit movement."

Roxy: "Yeah. So, now it's time to see if you an make more changes from your living room couch. What's next? You're going to come back married to Seth after a secret wedding and announce how WWE tried to kill you. I know, you can sue WWE and then try to go into MMA or UFC."

Jessica: "What the hell are you talking about? I have no malice towards the WWE and no reason to sue anyone. A secret wedding? What the hell kind of fucked up shit have you been reading online? That sounds like crazy fan girl shit."

Roxy: "It's just a little convenient that you walked out a month before WrestleMania and you opted out of the cage match that you fought tooth and nail to have done."

Jessica: "I also swore my vengeance on Rubber Girl, but Maddie had no problem picking up that ball and running with it."

Roxy: "Yes and I have to thank you for that extra ass kicking I get every week. Do you know how hard it is to pull off two characters and never have the two meet?"

Jessica: "It should come natural. It goes with the whole Unstable thing you and Jon got going together."

Roxy: "You're seriously going to sand here and act like everything is normal right now."

Jessica: "What's not normal about it? You're pissed I'm leaving and everyone is going to miss me."

Roxy: "It's just like when you busted my head open with that metal chair. You couldn't see passed your own selfish nose then either. You just wouldn't see that it went deeper then breaking up the sisterhood of the D.O.D."

Jessica: "That was about me not taking care of you the way a sister is supposed to and you being emotional and lashing out."

Roxy: "Yes and now I can be emotional and lash out over you leaving me here alone. You know what? Good luck, darling. If you can sell that sell out idea on the indies I'll be surprised. Good luck with the pay cut too. You're life is about to suck out loud all over again.

_Back to access present day_

Those were the last words I exchanged with Jessica. Seth and Dean have tried to get us to make up 50 ways to Sunday since. Dean thought sharing how he felt after Seth broke up The Shield would make me feel better and understand where Jessica was coming from with all this and how she had to save her own sanity.

I get it. I had to take time off to save my sanity too. She helped me through my mental break. I could've been there for her too even if she did just fall out of love with WWE. I've forgiven the whole D.O.D and I've come to peace with all that drama. The thing that has me pissed off today is she didn't even talk to me before she just up and quit. There was no warning or preparing. She just quit and left everyone high and dry. I could've helped her get through the whole falling out of love stage. We could've leaned on each other like sisters are supposed to do.

If she would've came to me and said "Hey, I'm not feeling the WWE anymore. I think I need a break." I would've helped her out like she did me. Just once I'd like Jess to realize I am there for her no matter what happens. She needs to lean on her sisters and she doesn't act like she needs anyone.

Madison sees me standing at the back waiting to go out to my area for the signing.

Madison: "How are you holding up?"

Roxy: "I'm doing all right. I was just thinking about the last time I spoke to Jess."

Madison: "She hasn't been talking to you?"

Roxy: "We haven't spoke since she walked out of the WWE. I have no idea what's going on in her life right now."

Madison: "She doesn't only talk to me. She talks to all of her friends. You are her sister from another mister. She hasn't stopped loving you just because she's no longer working for WWE."

Roxy: "You could've fooled me. My e-mail still works and my cell phone still has the same number. It still receives texts and voicemails. Hell, I can even talk on it still. Guess what? My phone never rings with her number. Her voice is never on my voice mail and she never texts. I don't even get an e mail or Facebook or anything. I haven't seen any sign of her on social media in over a month."

Madison: "Me either. I called her and talked to her. Her number is still the same and she isn't glued to her technology anymore. If she wants to talk to someone she prefers it in person."

Roxy: "So do I. I am tired of playing guessing games with someone I've known better then myself some days. I've called her a sell out before back in CZW and she laughed it off and said "My bills sold out first. They want some on time notices and not past due." I couldn't argue with the truth."

Madison: "Well, you pretty much told her life would suck without WWE and she couldn't sell her gimmicks anywhere else. Maybe she's just waiting to prove you wrong."

Roxy: "If that were the case, she'd have already done it. The controversy fuels her fire."

Madison: "Hypothetical question time."

Roxy: "All right, shoot."

Madison: "Jess walks down that sidewalk right there in front of us. She spots us standing here and comes over here to talk. She approaches you and asks to talk to you. What happens next?"

Roxy: "A conversation of course."