To all who are still tuned in…
It's been a very long while since I updated. No excuses, just no inspiration.
This is a short update to let you know I will finish this story and soon, I hope.
One more chapter after this one and an epilogue, is what I'm foreseeing at the moment. Who knows…

I'm sorry for the long wait. I hope you enjoy!

Chapter 11

Around four on a Monday morning, Quinn is woken from an already very light sleep by the sounds of a door opening and soft footfalls crossing the room towards the bed. Feeling the slight dip of the mattress, she turns around, finding her daughter crawling into bed with her.

Huge hazel eyes, filled to the brim with anxious excitement, meet her own and Quinn understands that Beth hasn't slept at all tonight, too nervous and scared of what Rachel's coming home will entail.

The scars of Beth's behavior haven't completely healed over yet and every now and then it feels as if no time has passed at all. Every night when she goes to sleep, the left side of the bed is still as empty as the first night Rachel vacated it. And Quinn knows ~she really does~ that Rachel leaving wasn't a voluntary decision, but it smarts sometimes, just the same. Fact of the matter is that she left, willingly or not, and Quinn's world fell apart. Knowing Rachel's did as well helps some but not a lot and not all of the time. Because Rachel fled. Sometimes Quinn hates her for it and sometimes, and it took a lot out of her to be able to admit to it, sometimes she envies her for it. Because Rachel got out and Quinn didn't. She's been through hell and back, two times over. Having to deal with Beth at her worst, her most hateful, and Rachel wasn't there to share the load. They have a lot to work on, still, but Quinn has faith that it will be okay as long as they deal with it together. It's what she's been telling Beth as well.

Beth needs a lot of reassurance. She's spoken to Rachel over the phone a few times, but their conversations are painfully stilted. They're both trying really hard to skip over the hard bits, but they also know that they will never be able to let go of the past completely if they never talk about it. Not over the phone, though. In person. It's what causes the girl's recent insomnia. Beth's been crawling into bed with Quinn almost every night since finding out her Momma is coming home. Quinn wills her daughter to talk about her fears, but she doesn't speak much. She's too young to find the appropriate words to apologize. Ever since the truth came out, Beth has been clinging to Quinn as if afraid her Mom will leave as well now that she knows the whole sordid story.

Beth is very aware of how much she's hurt both her mothers, but the pain she rained down upon Quinn has been much more visible. The not eating and not sleeping had painted years on Quinn's beautiful face and Beth had noticed, even though she'd tried her hardest to ignore it when things were at their worst. She's been trying to make up for it by being good and studying hard, but she knows ~they all do~ only time will lessen the sharp edges of their most painful memories. They will have to make an awful lot of new ones, happy ones, to keep the balance up.

While Beth knows all this, she doesn't talk about it with her Mom. It's not that she doesn't want to, it's just that she fears she has the courage to speak her thoughts just the once. And when she does, she wants both her mothers listening to what she thinks and feels and how hard she's trying to make them see how truly sorry for being the cause of their separation. So she keeps everything in until her Momma comes home and the only thing that gives her comfort until then is to be as close to her Mom as she possibly can be. Hence the early morning slumber parties…

Beth worms her way across the mattress until they're sharing a pillow. Her back is against Quinn's front and when she feels the weight of her Mom's arm drape around her, she feels so much calmer already. Quinn knows not to ask the difficult questions. Beth's anxiety is palpable and she doesn't want to add more chaos to her daughter's already jumbled thoughts. She's so much like Quinn herself in that regard. When Beth is ready to talk, she will purge herself of every thought and feeling inside of her. Quinn has an idea when that moment will come and she's dreading it as much as she'd like to get it over with.

The same goes for picking up Rachel at the airport a couple of hours later. They've talked about whether or not to meet at the airport, knowing they will not get the privacy their reunion deserves. Rachel's suggestion of taking a taxi up to the house to meet Quinn there had been met with a resounding "No way!" from her wife, the reason of her vehemence not quite clear to Rachel. Had she asked, Quinn's not sure she would've answered truthfully because how to explain having a slightly irrational loathing of taxi cabs ever since one of those yellow contraptions took Rachel away from her? Quinn knows it's childish and petty and not really the taxi's fault, but she'll never not know how it feels to watch Rachel leave her behind on that sidewalk all those months ago and she needs a scapegoat, so there.

Leaning against a wall in the waiting area of an airport should not draw this much attention. While Quinn's waiting for her wife's plane to land, she's aware of the paparazzi snapping picture after picture of her seemingly relaxed frame. She's glad she's wearing sunglasses so they won't see her roll her eyes until her head hurts. A couple of Rachel's fans have also gathered only a few yards away, whispering and giggling and pointing in her direction, cell phones at the ready for when ~they hope~ Rachel will make her appearance.

Even though she's used to being in the spotlight because of who Rachel is and what she does, Quinn can't help but feel annoyed at the lack of privacy. She's picking up her wife after not seeing her for something close to a month. It's the first time Rachel will set foot on Ohioan soil in almost two years and Quinn longs for their reunion to take place between just the two of them. Now she wishes she would've heeded Rachel's warning and met her at home but, Quinn can't stand to wait any longer than she absolutely has to, to have her wife in her arms again. The thought brings a soft smile to her lips. There had been a time, in a not so distant past, that Quinn thought she'd never be able to call Rachel her wife again.

She doesn't like to think about the events happening in the past two years much, but the memories are there and so is the pain that lingers. The cuddle session with Beth had been testimony to just that fact. So much had been said in the early morning silence between mother and daughter, their eyes speaking and understanding a language all their own. No words had been needed as they both radiated the pain of years lost as well has the hope of the years to come. Happy tears as well as sad ones had been shed and lovingly wiped away with nervous, trembling fingers before sharing a bone-crushing hug and heartfelt whispers of love and forgiveness. After getting up, they'd shared a small breakfast, though neither had been very hungry. Butterflies had taken up residence in Quinn's stomach, Beth had been about ready to puke from nervousness. In a short while Quinn's wife, Beth's Momma, was going to be walking through their front door for the first time in two years, making the house come alive again. Hopefully making it a home again.