Lord of the Rings 'Screenplay'

by gisella89

Did you ever wonder the derpyness that happened when the fellowship split? No? Well now you get to see it all! This is so stupid I can't put it in to words but it was like the greatest thing to write! I had to redo the format because of the rather stupid screenplay rule, but it's still okay and readable.

11. Boro, Ara etc- THE 'I' BANDIT?

The spleen thing is a reference to the LotR movie appendices when Dom (Merry) is making fun of Orlando (Legolas) for sorta being a crybaby when he cracked his rib XD

Anyway, I know it's been really long but I've been really busy with homework and such, as well as I am now doing NaNoWriMo! Enjoy this little derp

If you review with an account (Sorry guests, :( I wish I could PM you) you will get a personalized PM from the cast! :D

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ACT 11

Location: Random grassy place used for Act 1 and 2

Boromir, Orc 1 and Ara and friends are walking, but Legolas isn't there

Boromir says "We shall conquest on our journey to find the mysterious 'I' bandit!"

Gimli says "I doubt it"

NARRATOR SAURON says "You know what?"

Orc 1 says "What?"

NARRATOR SAURON says "Hmm. I believe I don't see Legolas!"

Aragorn and others look around and also don't see Legolas. They are confused

Boromir says "Whereith has thine beloved Legolas gone? I missith him already!"

Aragorn says (muttering) "Speak for yourself..."

NARRATOR SAURON says "Now don't be mean Aragorn, you have to go find Legolas. He may be in danger!"

Aragorn says "He probably just stopped to...y'know.. wee."

Gimli says "Wee?"

Aragorn says "Uhm, drain the main vein?"

Gimli says (confused) "The main vein?"

Aragorn looks uncomfortable, as does NARRATOR SAURON

Boromir says "I do not understand thee, what is thou trying to convey?"

Orc 1 says (in realization) "Ooooh, yeah, you mean Legolas just had to... tinkle winkle"

Gimli says "Tinkle winkle?"

Aragorn, Orc 1 and NARRATOR SAURON all exchange looks

Aragorn says "Whizz? emiction yourself? Pee pee 4 me me? Fertilize the shrubbery?"

Boromir and Gimli stare blankly

NARRATOR SAURON says (clapping his hands) "Well, this is very awkward!"

All of a sudden you hear a pained grunt and Legolas stumbles onto the stage, bloodied with ripped clothes. A spotlight descends on him and his hair blows in the breeze epicly.

Boromir says "Oh my! A tragic hero! Just what this needs!"

Bloodied Legolas collapses on the ground dramatically, spotlight still trained on him.

Legolas says (panting) "I am a tragic hero! Just what this needs!"

NARRATOR SAURON says "I am disturbed by their similarities, really. Isn't it creepy?"

Orc 1 says "C'mon now Legolas! What happened?!"

Legolas says "I think my spleen has been ostracized! The agony!"

Legolas falls to the ground and lays in the spotlight dramatically. Aragorn gasps and Gimli and Boromir run to Legolas's side.

Gimli says "Dear Legolas! Who did this to you?!"

Legolas says "A man... in black!"

NARRATOR SAURON says "Like the men in black?"

Legolas says "Didn't you hear me? A MAN in black, not MEN in black. Besides, he told me his name, it was the 'I' bandit!"

Everyone gasps loudly

Aragorn says (awed) "Truly?"

Legolas says (rolling his eyes) "I'm kinda dying here, I wouldn't lie."

Aragorn says "So... there really is an 'I' bandit!"

Orc 1 says "Ohmergersh, this is too weird"

Legolas says "He was... oh, so horrible... so fast. Almost indestructible"

Boromir says "Methinks he sounds like a formidable enemy! A challenge!"

Aragorn says "I do like a challenge but let's not get too exc-"

Boromir says "A challenge! A challenge! Hurrah!"

Aragorn says "By valar, this is going to be a long day..."

curtains close