Disclaimer: I own nothing

A/N: As always thank you for the reviews! Because there has been a lack of Kanda in the story so far I decided to give him his own chapter, he likes to swear. I hope you enjoy the chapter.

Courtship for Dummies

Chapter Eleven – Kanda's Chapter

What. The. Fuck. He knew most of the members of the Black Order were idiots but now they'd gone nuts as well, especially the white-haired freak. It was like the idiot was following him, appearing randomly, and what was with all the foliage? The plain boxes he kept trying to hand over were suspicious too. Kanda was almost tempted to take one just to find out what was inside…almost.

It was all the idiot's fault, probably Lavi's too, all the strange things all came back to one event a couple of weeks ago. Staring passionately at the Moyashi, where the fuck had that come from? Like the freak was even tall enough to look in his eyes.

He'd gone to rest in his room after gracefully leaving the dining hall, locking his door firmly, although that hadn't stopped Tiedoll shouting through the door, trying to get him to talk about his feelings, Che.

He'd hoped that by the next day Tiedoll would have been more concerned about getting to know his new 'son' and would just leave him alone, instead he'd had to put up with Marie's protective looming, from what, he didn't know and Tiedoll's utter nonsense. What the hell did he mean by 'Don't worry Yu, Papa has taken care of everything." Even Komui had even run up and given him a hug before he'd run off again saying something about making a weapon to punish the unworthy.

He was extremely tired of the staring and whispering and the shoves when he would pass by a group of finders. A couple were even brave enough to approach him face to face although he had no idea what the fuck they were on about. Tricking Allen? Forcing him? Even more humiliating that Lenalee had been witness to one of the confrontations.

So evading…everyone, he had secluded himself in the meditation room, thinking he was safe, barely anyone knew the place existed. Which had worked until Moyashi had started hounding him…with flowers, obviously he slammed the door in his face, there was some joke going on that he wasn't aware of, a pretty big one considering how persistent the idiot was being. Especially when he tried to hand over the spiky orange thing, what the hell was it anyway?

Since his position in the meditation room had been compromised Kanda had gone back to his usual routine, even Tiedoll had resumed a more normal level of weirdness, and he was even getting used to the idiot's unwelcome but frequent intrusions into his life.

Then he had got back to his room one day to find a piece of paper that had been clearly pushed under his door, with honestly no idea who it could have come from. If anyone had something to say to him they could say it to his face, and if they were too scared to do that then they weren't worth sparing any time over.

He'd read the letter anyway just to make sure it wasn't important, he should have trusted his instincts and burnt the damn thing.

The white-haired bastard couldn't even write a straightforward letter and why did every other line rhyme? He eventually worked out the meaning of the letter that talked about his soft skin, long hair and rosy blush, obviously Moyashi was calling him a woman!

The next day Kanda had tracked him down and given him a truly manly reply! Although he hadn't used Mugen, he wanted to use his bare hands, for a more personal touch. He'd gotten a few days of peace after that, probably while the idiot's eye healed, every time he thought about his handiwork it brought a smile to his face, he'd even been so generous as to not damage the cursed eye.

Come to think of it he hadn't seen Lavi around much either…which was strange. He enjoyed the silence but then it was possible that the other exorcist was plotting something and was merely busy with his plans, that was a foreboding thought.

When the freak had approached him again he hadn't been listening to whatever it was he had said, he'd been distracted at the time, by Komui running past shortly followed by Lenalee with her dark boots activated. Whatever Moyashi had said however hadn't gone down very well with Tiedoll, who had been walking behind the younger exorcists as he spoke. In fact if it wasn't for the sound of Tiedoll's hand making contact with the idiot's face, Kanda would have forgotten that the exorcist had even come up to him.

The next confrontation with the vertically challenged exorcist Kanda would much rather forget. He was tired really and had closed his eyes for a short rest, really, that was what had happened. He hadn't panicked upon seeing his flower hallucinations which were visible to no one else for years suddenly becoming tangible to the point that he thought his heart had stopped and he'd collapsed. Then the next thing he knew he was face flat against the cold stone floor, Walker looking down at him shocked, lotus still in his hand. Finally he hadn't made half-hearted excuses before running away, with the idiot too shocked to realise that he was actually running away.

He definitely hadn't tried to cover up his embarrassment when Walker approached him again by trying to kill him immediately with the exorcist saying something about food. Was he asking him to dinner? Not likely, that was about as probable as the idiot walking up to him and screaming his head off for no reason.

He'd been a bit annoyed by the outcome of that event, somehow managing to loose Walker when he ran away, with the lack of Lavi, Kanda had no one to punch on a regular basis and since Moyashi got away he was once again left feeling high and dry.

But then it seemed like even that little run around the Order had managed to cause some imbalance in Walker's brain. The freak had tried to give him cat ears, not only that he'd refused to speak and was making some really unusual hand gestures…worse he kept staring at the ears in his hand and then at Kanda's hair almost longingly, a bit of drool dribbling out of the corner of his mouth.

So Kanda had to make a quick escape, making sure not turn his back to the other exorcist but not making eye contact either until he was out of arm's reach, specifically in case he tried to activate his innocence and attack.

When Kanda next saw the idiot in the training room he was obviously still suffering from some mental issues as he tried to meld his face with the wall, Kanda had let him get on with it. He'd been kind enough not to cause Walker anymore stress by attacking him although he had to glare at the idiot when he tried to get closer, again he preferred that the deranged man stayed at a suitable distance from him.

Walker had eventually backed off but not by much, watching him train, with a look of awe on his face, so he'd rewarded the younger man's admiration by showing him exactly what a competent exorcist looked liked. He hadn't been basking in the attention at all, the damn Moyashi. The gloves were nice though, really nice, good thing he hadn't shut the door in the man's face, if Kanda was anyone else he would have said Allen's gesture was kind of sweet and that he'd looked a bit cute when he feared for his life.

But he was Kanda so the gloves clearly showed that Allen had figured out he was a much superior exorcist who should be worshipped with gifts. So things had been starting to look up, and then the devil had appeared in the form of a red-haired General.

In a deserted corridor.

General Cross had smiled at Kanda as he proceeded to walk toward him, after he had called out to him to stop. If Allen had been there he would have been worried by that particular smile, he knew that smile, in fact he abhorred that smile, he had seen it often enough when they were in the company of women.

Kanda was confused but had turned to give the General his full attention, he would give the man respect for his rank if nothing else.

"General Cross." Kanda addressed the man who had come to a stop before him.

"Please, call me Marian, we have after all known each other for many years." The General had bared his teeth then, but Kanda wasn't to be intimidated, he stood his ground, staring straight into the man's eyes, which had obviously angered the man as he then tried to threaten Kanda by pushing him against the wall, entrapping him between the General's arms.

"Hmm, not shy are you? I like that. Definitely too good for my apprentice."

However at Cross's next comment Kanda had been thrown completely off guard, was it possible that Allen's mental problems were contagious and had spread to his moronic Master? If that was the case he would have to escape quickly otherwise he would be the next person the illness took hold of. He was prepared to let the man's behaviour slide in light of a contagious mental disease but then the man touched his hair.

He politely asked the General to let go, he was a General after all.

"I'd like to show you exactly what I am a Master of; my rooms and my bed are always at your disposal." Wait. What. What was going on? Did the…no, no, he couldn't be, What the fuck. He really needed to escape now, if only he hadn't been trapped by the—

Kanda hadn't squeaked that had just been the sound of the General's boots scrapping the floor. Even so Kanda had had enough, he was going to have to take his chances with the consequences of implementing bodily harm on to a superior and do what he does best.

One good solid punch and he was free, bolting it down the corridor not bothering to see the state of the man he was leaving behind, hopefully he had been knocked to the ground, best case scenario, the man had just eaten and would be throwing up.

Going straight to the training room, Kanda needed to work off some of the anger, if the General followed him there or even if his stupid apprentice showed up Kanda would not hesitate to kill.

Just like a bad rash the idiot appeared, and grudgingly Kanda had to admit he was fast on his feet.

Concentrating so hard on stabbing Walker with Mugen he was shocked when he was knocked to the ground and then pinned there by an enlarged hand. He had tried to get up but that had been a waste of energy so he lay there uncooperative while the idiot interrogated him.

How did Walker know about Cross? How did Walker know about the conversation? More importantly why did Kanda not want Allen to know? And why was he oddly pleased that he was concerned over him? What. The. Fuck.

Unconsciously Kanda noted that Allen wasn't really a midget anymore, apparently he'd grown since they'd first met, although he was still a bit shorter than him.

A nervous cough from the door distracted him.

Shit! Was that a finder? Shit, Allen was practically lying on top of him.

Wait…Allen had been lying on top off him…

He needed to go see Komui…

-TBC-