CHAPTER ELEVEN: DON'T GO NOW 'CAUSE I NEED YOU RIGHT HERE, I'D GIVE AWAY EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING FOR THIS

"Did you just pack everything you own in here?"

Smirking, I leaned against the nearest wall and watched Harry lug my two trunks into the room I was sharing with Hermione and Ginny. "Not everything. Just the essentials."

"You could help you know," he said whilst glaring at me.

"I could," I nodded. "But helping seems kind of overrated."

We'd arrived at The Burrow at some time after eight o'clock that morning. Molly immediately started fussing over us, commenting on how we were both too skinny and hadn't been eating enough since being on our own. I'd just rolled my eyes and let her feed me an assortment of breakfast foods.

"You realise you're a wizard, right?"

He stared at me. "What?"

"You're a wiz-ard," I repeated, enunciating the syllables clearly. "You can wingardium leviosa that stuff right over into the corner. That was first year, Harry."

A wave of comprehension seemed to wash over him. "I knew that."

"Of course you did," I smiled, patting him on the shoulder and leaving him to rediscover his magic.

Remus and I had discussed what was going to happen when we arrived at The Burrow and we'd decided that it would be best to speak to each other as little as possible – we weren't sure what people would pick up by watching us interact.

Despite this arrangement, I was determined to keep an eye on him. Tonks was coming to stay for the weekend and was leaving Teddy with her mother so I was already suspicious of her intentions. Never mind that she was his wife and whatever intentions she had were technically perfectly acceptable; I didn't see the world through rose-coloured glasses.

"Hollie, dear," Molly smiled at me and lead me into the kitchen. "Everyone's in the kitchen! There's someone waiting for you."

I frowned. "Someone's waiting for me? Shouldn't everyone be keenly awaiting my arrival?"

Molly laughed but didn't entertain my blatant self-absorption. As we entered the kitchen I saw Hermione, Ginny, Tonks, Remus, Arthur, Fred, Angelina and Kingsley gathered around the dining table, with one person I hadn't expected to see.

"What's going on, Grapefruit?"

I screamed with delight. "Seamus!"

Keeping with tradition, I ran into his arms and wrapped my legs around his waist. It was our typical greeting; a little racy to some, but to us it was absolutely normal. Regardless, I could feel Remus's stare on me and I disentangled myself from my best friend, getting a good look at him.

"Merlin," I grinned at him. "I haven't seen you in ages! You've gotten like half an inch taller!"

He glared at me sarcastically, well aware that I was digging at his lack of height. "I see you still stand at the same elf-like height."

"Five foot three is hardly elf-like, friend."

"Keep telling yourself that, buddy."

We grinned at each other and I hugged him again. "It's so good to see you."

"You too, Hol."

"You two seem overly excited to see each other," Remus pointed out, sending me a forced smile.

I raised an eyebrow. "Yes, Remus. It's exciting to see your best friend for the first time in months."

He nodded sceptically and put his arm around Tonks, who leaned slightly away from him and frowned at his bizarre behaviour. If he was hoping to be surreptitious he was failing dismally.

An hour later, after catching up with Seamus and sitting down to a larger than average morning tea, I pulled Remus aside in the hallway.

"What the hell was that in there?" I hissed. "That wasn't very stealthy of you, Remus."

He shrugged. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"I don't know, maybe the display of extreme jealousy? How are you going to explain that to Tonks?"

"She didn't notice anything."

"Clearly you didn't see the look on her face."

"You clearly didn't see yourself with Seamus."

I gaped. "You've got to be kidding me."

"What?" Remus said. "You did used to date him."

"So what, you think there's residual feelings there or something?" I asked in disbelief.

"It's not unheard of."

"Oh my God."

"Hollie, you don't understand!" He sighed, clearly exasperated. "It's terrifying being with you, you know that?"

I paused, the look of inexplicable horror frozen on my face. "Excuse me?"

"You're so much better than me," he muttered. "You're so... beautiful and funny and wise. You deserve more than me and it's terrifying to think that you're going to realise that."

Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes and placed a hand on his cheek. "You are unbelievable."

"In a good way?"

"In an infuriating way. There's nothing between me and Seamus."

"I wouldn't be mad if there was, you know."

"Quite frankly that's a little insulting."

Remus grinned at me and placed a kiss on my forehead. "You make me laugh."

"Lucky," I said. "If I didn't I'd really have nothing going for me."

"Er... wotcher, Hollie."

I practically leaped towards the other side of the room. Tonks was standing in the doorway, her hair flame red, her eyes widened with a heightened sense of curiosity. Remus was frozen to the spot, clearly unsure of what to say or do.

"Hey, Tonks," I said, trying to smile confidently at her. "What's up?"

"I could say the same thing," she said warily, looking between the two of us with a confused smile planted on her face.

I had to think quick. "Remus was just... comforting me. I was a little upset."

"Oh?"

"I had a dream about Sirius the other night. I just really miss him."

"I see."

She didn't look convinced but she nodded slowly and moved towards Remus, wrapping her arms around his waist possessively and smiling at me. "Good thing my husband was on loan then, eh?"

It took every ounce of strength inside me not to leap at her and strangle her on the spot. I couldn't explain the sudden desire to do that to her but it was overwhelming – the way she staked her claim on Remus right in front of me was undeniably a stab in my direction and, even though I didn't really blame her, it killed me that she could be so petty right to my face.

Remus sensed the tension in the room. "Right. Well, now that... Hollie's okay... I'm just going to... uh..."

Without another word he left the room, shaking his head as he entered the hallway and went down the stairs. If the situation weren't so serious I would have laughed.

"So."

Tonks was staring at me, a sickeningly sweet smile on her face.

"So," I said, nodding uncomfortably and crossing my arms.

"When I asked you to stay close to Remus," Tonks said. "I didn't mean that you could make a move on my husband."

"Sorry?"

"Don't you remember the conversation we had before you left for Hogwarts?"

ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ

"Wotcher, Hollie!"

I was busy packing my stuff to take to Hogwarts and, at that moment, I was tossing up between my light blue pair of jeans and my dark blue pair. I didn't see any reason I'd need to take both but it was so difficult choosing between them.

"Hey, Tonks."

"Packing for Hogwarts?"

"Nope, I'm packing for an entirely different trip I'm going on."

"Funny."

"I thought so."

She grinned at me in her usual jovial manner and sat on my bed, sighing and laying back. "We really need to get a king-sized bed. Yours never fails to amaze me in its comfort."

"That's not the bed," I told her. "That's the mattress. It has about four layers of memory foam on it."

"I don't know what that is but it sounds like something I should have."

"It's something everyone should have."

I could tell she had something to talk to me about – Tonks rarely came to see me without a clearly defined purpose. Instead of asking her, though, I held up both pairs of jeans. "Which ones should I take with me?"

She hesitated before pointing to the dark ones. "The dark ones are more slimming."

"Are you suggesting I need slimming?" I teased, grinning with my tongue through my teeth.

"Please," she rolled her eyes. "You are ridiculously skinny. I had a baby twelve months ago; I still feel like a lump on legs."

"Take solace in the fact that you don't look like one."

"Cheers."

She sat on my bed in silence for another moment before launching into her speech. "I need to ask you a favour."

"Sure," I nodded, dropping both pairs of jeans in my trunk and smiling cheerfully at her. "Go ahead."

"Can you keep an eye on Remus for me while you guys are away?"

I froze and stared at her. "What?"

She sighed. She almost seemed to deflate.

"I'm worried about him. He's not been himself."

I tried not to look at her for fear I'd reveal that it was my fault. "But why do you want me to keep an eye on him?"

"There are only two people in the world who love Remus enough to protect him no matter what," she said. "One of them is you."

Surprise. "You know?"

"Of course I know," she chuckled. "Everyone knows. You didn't really keep it a secret."

"I guess not."

"The point is that you've proven on more than one occasion that you can and will protect him no matter what, and I won't feel right about him being there without me unless I know that he's got you."

It astounded and sickened me that she trusted me so much with her husband. Astounded, because she knew how I felt and trusted me not to make a move. Sickened, because that trust was so obviously misplaced.

ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ ϟ

"Hollie?"

"Sorry," I blinked. "I was just thinking back to it."

"So you remember that we had that conversation?"

"Yes."

"And you remember that I trusted you?"

"Of course."

"So what's going on here?"

I forced out a smile. "Nothing, Tonks. He was honestly just comforting me."

"I'm supposed to believe that?" She laughed, shocked. "He was kissing you!"

"On the forehead," I said slowly. "Sirius used to do that."

She snorted scathingly. "How do we know he didn't have feelings for you?"

"Now you're just being silly," I pointed out.

Tonks was taking deep breaths. I could tell she was mad, not just because of the things she was saying and the way she was rapidly becoming more and more hysterical, but because she looked close to tears and her face was turning bright red. There was something else at play though.

"Tonks," I said gently, putting a hand on her shoulder cautiously. "Is there something else going on?"

She sighed shakily, her bottom lip wobbling. "I feel like I'm losing him, Hollie."

My eyes widened.

Her suspicions weren't far off. Of course Remus was distant – he was having an affair! I mean, it was a pretty rubbish kind of affair – we hadn't gotten further than first base yet – but an affair it was. How could he face his wife when he knew there was something going on behind her back and she didn't know about it? How could he when he knew how betrayed and hurt she'd feel?

"He's been a bit weird, yes, but I don't think that means you're losing him."

Tonks nodded. "I'm overreacting, right? I mean Merlin… if I can't trust you, of all people…"

The conversation was quickly becoming one of the most uncomfortable in my life so I turned her around and walked her out the door. "Come on. Let's go and help Molly with dinner."

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It was Good Friday and dinner was immensely satisfying; it was like a Hogwarts feast in the comfort of The Burrow. I was sat across from Remus and Tonks, both of them having calmed down significantly since our afternoon episode.

"Thank you so much, Molly," Hermione said, her hand grasping Ron's on top of the table. "That was delectable."

Molly waved away the compliment and blushed furiously. "It was nothing, it was nothing."

Seamus nudged me and leaned over. "Remus hasn't stopped looking at you all night. Are you sure nothing's going on between you two?"

We'd briefly discussed Remus as we set the table earlier but I'd alluded to nothing. Seamus, however, was far too insightful for his own good.

"Please," I shook my head. "He's probably just marvelling at my wit and charm."

"And your tits."

"Seamus!"

"What? You can't deny that the shirt you're wearing wasn't specifically designed to show them off."

"It's a t-shirt."

"A v-neck t-shirt."

"You're grasping at straws here."

"Possibly."

He grinned at me and I poked my tongue out at him. It was a display that proved to me that, although we'd grown up and grown slightly apart, everything was okay between us. At least, it would be until he found out that I'd been lying to him.

"Alright!" Molly announced. "Boys, dishes! No, not you, Remus dear, you helped quite enough with dinner. Ronald Weasley, don't think you're getting out of it!"

I laughed and pushed Seamus off his chair. Luckily his feet were quicker than my hands and he landed on them, but he glared at me. "Very funny."

"You're the third person to tell me that today!"

"I was being sarcastic."

"So was I. Not really, actually, I was a hundred percent serious."

Seamus rolled his eyes and stalked towards the kitchen. I stretched and got out of my own chair, perfectly ready to go to bed. Tonks was in the kitchen helping Molly supervise and I didn't know where Remus had gotten to, but I said goodnight to Arthur and Kingsley and smiled at Ginny and Hermione.

"I'll see you guys tomorrow."

"We have much to discuss," Hermione said, a sly smile on her face. "Like the way Remus was staring at you all night."

I scoffed. "Everyone's saying that! I was just being hilarious, it's nothing new."

"That's not what it looked like," Ginny smirked.

Grinning, I turned away from them and headed up the stairs without another word. It bothered me a little bit that people were picking up on the fact that something was going on but I didn't for a second think that they would ever actually find anything out. I was too confident, too self-assured, and in the end that would be my downfall. The only thing that really worried me at that point was the way Tonks had stared at me all the way through dinner. She was the reason I didn't notice Remus staring; I was noticing her staring at me.

Even as I walked up the stairs, I glimpsed back into the kitchen and saw that she was watching me. Her eyes averted as she noticed me looking but I saw what was in them.

Distrust.

Before I had another moment to think about it any further, I was being thrown up against the hallway wall as Remus's lips came crashing down onto mine.

"Woah!" I gasped, pushing him away and staring at him, wide-eyed. "What are you doing? You're so bad at hiding this!"

"I can't help it," he breathed into my ear as he started leaving a trail of kisses down my neck.

Moaning, I bit my lip and shook my head, weakly trying to push him away again. "We can't do this here!"

Remus sighed and pulled away, staring at me with lust-filled eyes. "Okay."

"Is it the shirt?"

"The shirt has a lot to do with it, yes."

Inwardly cursing Seamus, I kissed Remus hard on the lips before opening my bedroom door and leaning in the doorway. "Your wife is so suspicious. This is not the time or the place."

"I doubt there'll ever be a time or a place."

I bit my lip again, a nervous habit. "We go back to Hogwarts in three days."

"That's true," Remus nodded. I could tell he was grinding his teeth – his nervous habit.

A smile crept onto my face as I started to close the door behind me. He opened his mouth to protest but I shook my head. "Just wait until we get to the place and then we can decide the time."

"Goodnight!" He called through the crack in the door as I closed it.

Taking a deep breath, I leaned my head against the back of the door and slid down it, my hand covering the massive grin that was forming.

There was really no turning back now.

Good things are coming, people!

I know it seems like this is going nowhere fast but remember when I said this was going to be long? Trust me on this - all the things you've been asking for are coming, it'll just take some time.

In other news, here are the songs from each chapter that I've missed:

Chapter 8: Feeder - Feeling A Moment

Chapter 9: Dashboard Confessional - No News Is Bad News

Chapter 10: Hot Hot Heat - Middle Of Nowhere

Also, I can't let you read chapters ahead of time, unfortunately. I've only got 8000 characters for a private message and it doesn't let me send links so if you do guess the song, you can read the first 8000 characters of the next chapter. Remember to activate private messaging, too.

Cheers, men!