a/n: I'm so so sorry it's taken me forever to get another chapter out. I lost my muse cause of my frustration with the show, not that I don't absolutely love the show, I've just been frustrated, but I have loved the last few episodes. I find it funny that I started writing this story a while back and the storyline right now is Liz is dead. I'm like yea...I did that first thank you very much, lol! Our stories are different, yes, but the death of Elizabeth Keen is the same! Love it. There is no way she is dead. I thought about a way to get this story to sound more like the show, but I cant really do that. I started writing it before we knew anything about Liz's parents, the Cabal or anything else soooo...I'm going to stick with the original storyline and where the story will go. If it seems off that's because I wrote it without much information on the big stories! Hope you guys enjoy. Please leave me a review or note! They help my writing a lot.

A deserted road is what met Reddington after an hour of driving. Perhaps he should have gone further, but by the time his location was found they would be gone. Outside the frosted window, the snow fell in large flakes like rain. He drove at a decent speed, not too fast. Although his task was dire, he had precious cargo in his car with him.

Looking into the rearview mirror, Elizabeth slept soundly, her body stretched out on the backseat. She had not argued with him when he told her she would accompany him on his trip. The girl stuck to his side like second clothing until they were gone from the cabin. He had left only after Adrian and Corine had come to and were nursing their wounds. Adrian did not look as though he wanted to let his daughter go, but he knew she would be safer with Reddington. The man did not argue.

It was one in the morning as Reddington found himself alone with Elizabeth on a back road to some shithole of a town. What he had to do needed be done, but the consequences of it weighed heavily on his mind. The moment the deed was done, he knew everything would change. He knew his life would change. Was he ready? Reddington was not sure, but he knew he was in too deep now just to walk away. Elizabeth. She needed him. He was all that she had.

The girl stirred in the back, mumbling something he could not understand. His eyes looked upon her for just a moment before going back to the icy world outside his windshield. Something had nagged at him since the intruder, something he could not let go of. Alan Finch was responsible. Why was it that someone as powerful as Finch would send someone so amateur to retrieve the Fulcrum? The man had let his hostage go and made himself vulnerable. He had not even killed Adrian and Corine. Why? Reddington thought that he knew, but he needed proof. He needed to hear it straight from the horse's mouth.

It was for this reason, Reddington found himself driving at one in the morning in snow on Christmas Eve. The town he wanted to reach was twenty minutes away. He would find the nearest pay phone and do what needed be done. His hands shook as he gripped the wheel tightly.

"Red?" Elizabeth called in a sleepy voice.

"Go back to bed, sweetie. We are almost there, and then I will get you back in bed. I promise," he said, looking at her from the rearview mirror. She was sitting up, looking around them out into the dark. The large snowflakes hit the windows as if the say hello. Her eyes drooped with the heaviness of sleep, but he watched as she slowly reached a tiny hand out to touch the cold window.

"Merry Christmas, Red," Elizabeth said, yawning.

"Merry Christmas, Elizabeth," he said low, watching her lie back down and drift back to sleep. He made a mental note to get some presents for her. How he was going to accomplish that by the next day, he had no clue. It would not be right for her to experience Christmas without gifts. He would think of something right after he took care of his mission at the moment.

The small hole of a town slept on through the wintery night as Red pulled up to a payphone beside a gas station that had long since closed down. He dare not turn off the engine just in case he needed a fast getaway. Plus, it was freezing outside and would take no time to make the car an igloo. Taking one last look at Elizabeth's sleeping form, Red stepped out into the darkness and was engulfed by the snow. He made his way towards the payphone and pulled the reciever to his ear. He let out a low hiss as the metal of the phone was bone-chillingly cold against his ear.

"Operator, how may I assist your call?" a mechanical voice asked him.

"Finch. Alan Finch." For a few moments there was no reply, and Red wondered if Finch was listed. If he was not, there would be other ways to find him.

"Please insert fifty cents to connect your call," the voice commanded.

Red did as he was told and waited. The line began to ring. On the fourth ring a sleepy voice answered. Red thought it funny that he recognized Finch's voice after only meeting the man once, but this man had now sealed his life with Red's. He would remember every detail there was to know about him.

"Since when does the Assistant Director of National Intelligence get in bed with terrorists and kidnappers?"

There was a long pause over the line, and Red knew that he had surprised the man. He waited patiently knowing someone like Alan Finch would recover fast. He was right. Finch laughed softly. It sounded as if the man were getting out of bed and moving around. The hand holding the phone began to shake, knowing what this phone call meant. But he knew he was supposed to make it.

"Tonight was to prove to you that we can get to Masha any time we want. Mister Reddington, this will be the only time I give you this warning. I do this because you are one of us, and if you do as I ask you will stay one of us. Leave the father. Leave the girl. You and your partner pack your belongings and go home. None of you were never supposed to get involved and when I found out that our men were involved I came to your supervisor, but he refused to pull the plug. He has been taken care of."

Red swallowed the lump in his throat at this bit of news. No wonder his supervisor had not reached out to him in days. Red needed to think fast. He needed to get as much information out of Finch as he possibly could.

"Why? What's in it for you?" Red asked, seething.

"There is an organization I work for Mister Reddington. This organization is in its infancy, but the power that has been brought together is more than you can wrap your brain around. The things we can do, the power we possess, is more than you can imagine. If you do not stand down you will become our enemy and I can promise you we are not an enemy you want, Mister Reddington. The world you know will be demolished with a single phone call if you do not do as I say. Whether you believe me or not, I do not want that to happen. You have a chance to become Admiral one day. I can make that happen sooner rather than later. It is up to you. Leave the child behind and all of it can be yours and more."

Red's hand began to shake, his hold on the reciever becoming painful. He looked to the car where Elizabeth slept and gritted his teeth. What had he gotten himself into? His choices were to continue down this path with her and lose all that he held dear, or turn his back on her and gain the world at his fingertips. He would have to go to bed with a man like Finch and an organization that scared him although he knew next to nothing about them.

"You know I can't do that," Red responded, his voice sounding far off. The momement the words were spoken, he felt the shift in the air. His fate was sealed.

"Then prepare for a war, Mister Reddington. One you will never win. Is there anything you would like to say to your family before we end this conversation? They will be the beginning of the end for you."

Red did not even waste time. He slung the phone down and ran towards his car. Climbing inside, he threw the car into gear and made his way back to the road. Instead of making his way towards the cabin, he went the opposite way. The reason he knew this town so well was it was only fourty-five minutes away from the house he shared with Carla and Jennifer. He willed the car to go faster, yet with the snow coming down so hard, he could not go as fast as he wanted. His mind was reeling, going faster than he could keep up with. He ticked down what he gathered from the conversation with Finch as he drove.

The American government was involved now, along with the Russians. Both were in a race to capture the Fulcrum. The Fulcrum was linked to Elizabeth, which meant everyone would be after her. Alan Finch, the Assistant Director of National Intelligence had his hand deep in the cookie jar of a secret group of powerful people desperate to find the Fulcrum. But why? What exactly was the Fulcrum? He would have to have a long talk with Adrian.

They were ten minutes out when a bright light flashed in Red's face, causing him to look down. The moment he saw the sign pop up he banged his fist against the steering wheel. This could not be happening, not now. He was so close, so close to reaching Carla and Jennifer. The car began to buck and stutter and Red pressed his foot harder on the gas pedal as if that would change what was happening. How stupid could he have been? His mind was only on reaching his estranged wife and daughter that he did not even think of getting gas before he drove on.

As the car came to a complete stop, all out of gas, on the darkened road, Red did not stop to think about his next move. He knew where he was, knew his way home. He threw the door open, reaching the back door and wretching it open. He regretted bringing Elizabeth now. Regretted what he was about to do and the danger he was putting her in. There was no choice. She would have to come with him.

Elizabeth awoke immediately, her wide eyes looking around her. Red could see fear within her blue eyes, until they saw him and the fear disappeared at once. She climbed out of the car without a word and began to follow. Red grabbed her hand, pulling her close to him. He looked back at the car, knowing it would be found in the morning. He swallowed, wondering what the story would be? Finch and his group would fabricate something, he knew.

The lights of the small town came into view and Red could feel his panic rising. Would he make it in time this way? What would await him? Would Carla and Jennifer already be dead? The thought made him physically sick. They were innocent. They should have never been brought into this. It was his fault, all of it. He should have never made that call to Finch, should have at least waited until his mind was clear. Finch wanted him to call, yet Red should have prepared for every loose end before he did. Their blood would be on his hands.

Elizabeth began to breath heavily as her small legs tried to keep up with Red. He stopped only to grab her and place her on his back. Not a word was spoken as he began to run. He was in excellent shape, and could keep this up for a while yet. She clung to him, hiding her small face in his back to keep the cold at bay. Red felt nothing, nothing but the pull towards home. He was almost there, and as he turned down his street, his tired legs found their second wind.

Coming to a stop three houses away, he searched the darkness for any signs of movement. Where he stood, he saw nothing out of the ordinary. He allowed Elizabeth to walk, knowing he might need to spring into action at any moment. Pulling out a gun from his pocket, they began to walk in the shadows towards the house. Elizabeth stayed close, barely making a sound. She was wise beyond her years, Red thought.

They made their way towards the back of the house to the spare key he knew Carla alway left underneath the potted plant on the porch. Sure enough, the key awaited his arrival. He took it and opened the back door as quietly as possible. The house was bathed in darkness, not a sound to be heard. Red made his way through the kitchen to the stairs that would take him towards the room he shared with Carla. He was not a praying man, but in that moment he found himself asking over and over again for Carla and Jennifer to be alright.

The moment he stepped into the house the scent hit him square the face. The iron in the air was thick as smoke, and Red lost the strength to step further into the house. His eyes closed as the realization of what he smelled crashed upon him. Even as he switched the lights of the kitchen on his mind refused to believe what he saw. Even as he heard Elizabeth gasp and whimper behind him he refused to believe. They had been innocent! Everywhere his eyes looked Raymond saw the red of blood.

HIs knees buckled underneath him and he slid to the floor, his eyes growing wide at the sea of blood. So much blood. There had been a struggle. Blood on the floor, on the walls, even splattered on top of the ceiling. A gruesome scene before him had his stomach rolling.

Red was on his feet at once, walking straight through the blood heading towards the stair case. He traveled upwards, two steps at a time, and went straight for the bedroom he shared with Carla. Everything was in disaray. He turned on his heels and went straight to Jennifer's room and found it the same way. No sign of life, only distruction.

Red had been too late to save them. Their lives were on him. All of this was on him. He had no idea how long Elizabeth stood behind him, sobbing, but the sound finally penetrated his fragile mind and he turned to look at her. Her body shook with sobs as her eyes darted around his daughter's room. He had almost forgotten that she was with him, that she had seen the blood and the destruction of his life. He reached out to her and she came to him instantly. They clung to one other, both lost and hurting.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I'm so sorry."

He tried to speak, tried to tell her it was not her fault, none of it, but his words were caught in his throat. Red had to get himself together and get them out. He would deal with the loss of his wife and daughter later, but right now they were in grave danger. The ones who did this could still be here, or at least near. The blood looked fresh. He forced himself to his feet, forced himself to take the stairs and forced himself back through the room of blood. He did not allow himself to look around again. There was no use. He had failed, yet in that moment he swore to himself that he would never fail the ones he loved again.

He and Elizabeth walked until they found a car he could break in to. He hotwired it in seconds and they were back on the road with a full tank of gas. He passed his deserted car, stopping only for a second to get his belongings. He watched in the rearview mirror as the car and the small town were swallowed in the darkness. They made it back to the cabin as the sun began to rise. Red carried Elizabeth to her bed, gently laying the girl down. He watched her sleep for a few moments, finding calm in her peaceful face. He would spend all of his energy protecting her from now on. His family had been taken from him because of his protection of the girl. He would make sure their lives were not lost in vain.

Red collapsed on the couch as the sun's rays kissed him through the window. They could no longer stay at the cabin, for Finch had found them. Where could they go now? Nowhere was safe. That was the whole point of all of this, to show Red there was no where he could run with the girl. He had contacts, that was true, but his contacts were shady at best. He had collected a long list of contacts through his job, yet none of them knew his true identity. They did not know he worked for the US government. They knew only what he wanted them to know. His list was powerful and help could be found, but did he dare rub elbows with those people? Did he have a choice at this point?

The t.v. had been left on and something caught his eye. The name of his hometown flashed across the lower part of a live picture they were showing. The house the newswoman was standing in front of was his house. He reached for the remote and turned the volume up.

"What we do know at this time is that Carla and Jennifer Reddington is presumed missing. Inside, there is a lot of blood, but nothing else. Just down the road a ways, the police have identified the vehicle of Raymond Reddington, Carla's husband. He is a Naval Officer and when we reached out to his supervisor we recieved only a short message that Mister Reddington had been on Christmas leave to visit his family. Whether he made it or not is still not known at this time. We do know that the police are looking for him for questioning in the disappearance of his family. Back to you Curt."

Red hit the mute button the moment a bulky, middle-aged man appeared on the screen. They had reached out for commment from his supervisor, but that was impossible if Finch was telling the truth. He leaned forward, resting his head in his hands. It had begun. The beginning of the end. They were looking for him to question him about Carla and Jennifer. He could read between the lines. They would find his DNA in the house, find his shoeprint in the blood. It would look as though he had killed them. Red knew this was only the beginning. Finch would not stop until Red gave him what he wanted. Elizabeth and the Fulcrum. Her life or his, that was his choices. How far would that well of Finch's go to destroy Red? As if in answer, he looked up at the t.v. again and saw his picture.

"Raymond Reddington is sought by local police and now the Naval police. It seems as though they have found evidence that Raymond Reddington may have been involved with the disappearance and possible death of his family and defecting. This has the US government concerned for several reasons, one being Reddington has knowledge of several classified documents, that in the wrong hands, could have dire circumstances for the United States. The search for Reddington is ongoing and heating up as we speak."

His life had been forfeit for Elizabeth's. Everything he knew, everything he believed in was gone, washed away like a castle of sand in the tide. He gave himself only a moment to mourn his losses. He gave himself only a moment to grieve for Carla and Jennifer and his whole life's work. And now he would see this finished. He would see Finch and his organization burn to the ground if it was the last thing he did.

He flew from the couch, going into the room Elizabeth slept in soundly. He jerked the closet door opened and grabbed a box on top of the shelf. Looking inside, he grabbed a small black notebook and began to thumb through it. Names, locations and phone numbers greeted him on each page. Years of compilations, he knew this was his only saving grace. These names, these people, would become his people. The vilest of the vile, he would need them now like he had never needed anyone before if he was to stay alive. Some of them would help him, but not all. That was okay. He would figure things out as he went. His first order of business was to get Elizabeth somewhere safe. And as the morning progressed, Red did just that.

"What ever became of your family, Raymond?"

Red and Adrian stood outside on top of the large building Corine's organization worked from. Red had no idea what time it was, but he knew it had to be well past midnight. He had stared at the stars for what seemed like an eternity, thinking about Elizabeth. She was his star, his way home. Without her, he was blind, lost. All of this time he thought she was dead he had felt the pieces of himself dying with her.

"It was about seven years later that I found out they had survived that night. My supervisor, before he was killed by Finch, had gotten his men in there and taken them out. He had it look like there was a struggle. He knew Finch would come for them."

"How did he know?"

Red looked at the man before him, a man come back from the dead. "Because, he knew I would never have given Elizabeth up. When he learned the truth he acted. He saved them. And he died for it."

"You may not care about my words, and I cannot say that I blame you, but everything you did for my daughter back then, I will never be able to repay. You lost everything because of us, yet you never turned your back on her. Or me."

Adrian was right, Red did not care about what the man had to say. He had left Elizabeth to die in that fire, and Red would never forgive him for that. No amount of explantion would ever make that right. Red had almost been unable to save her that night.

"When did you fall in love with my daughter?" Adrian said, his voice low. His words caught Red off guard. He stared at the man, at the knowing eyes of a father. Red could not speak, could not answer the question, because he was not sure of the answer. He could not pinpoint the exact moment his love tured from protector to something much deeper. But he would not deny the man's words. Especially now after living a life where he thought she was dead. He would never take for granted his feelings for her again, and if she would have him he would spend the remainder of his life showing her how much he did love her.

"I don't know," Red answered softly, honestly.

"But you do love her, correct?"

Red swallowed, meeting Adrian's eyes and not looking away. He owed this man nothing, nothing at all. He did not care if he approved of his feelings for Elizabeth. Red had been there for her more than her own father. He did not deserve to have a say so in his daughter's life, yet Red found himself answering anyway.

"Yes," he said. It felt good to say it aloud. It felt good to admit it to someone, even someone like Adrian. He had held it in, kept it hidden and dormant for so long that to release it now felt life he had a second wind. It filled his heart with longing for Elizabeth, to have her back in his arms and surrounding him with her scent. The need to find her and bring her home grew inside him until it was all that he felt.

"Then there is on doubt in my mind that you will bring Elizabeth home."

Adrian's face looked sad, making him look older than his years. Perhaps he knew what he had done to his daughter, what his abandonment had cost her. Red refused to feel sorry for him though. He had no room in his shattered heart for that. Red was about to tell him just that when the door opened and Corine walked out. In her hands she held something made of iron. He could hear it rattling with every step she took. Corine looked at Adrian and gave him a small smile, yet her footsteps took her towards Red.

"Are you sure this is the way you want to do this? I cannot guarantee your safety, or that I can get you out. I can only guarantee that I can get you in. If this is the way of it, hold out your hands, Raymond."

There was nothing to think about. This was the only way to get to Elizabeth. His safety meant nothing to him. He did not care if he lived through this as long as she was safely out and back home. He would move heaven and hell to save her. A prison did not scare him. He had seen plenty the inside of prisons. Shackles did not scare him as well. There were many shackles that touched his skin over the years. What scared him the most was this was all a dream and Elizabeth was still dead. He needed to see her, touch her, before he could truely believe she was real again. If he was to go into the depths of hell to accomplish that so be it. Red held out his wrists, watching as Corine chained them together. She bent down, chaining his ankles as well.

So it begins, Red thought, as Corine guided him towards an awaiting helicopter. In just a few hours he would come face to face with Elizabeth again. He would see her, touch her, smell her. His star. His life. His heart. The only question remained...would she remember him as he truly was, or would she be scared to even look at him?