I was slipping into an abyss where the Sun would never shine. But I can feel your comforting touch, like an anchor to the world of light.

Soon I'll be strong enough to stand on my own again, Al. Soon...

Chapter 11

A loud noise woke him abruptly from his dreams. It had first been a persistent droning noise at the back of his mind like wasps. He had ignored the sound, but it gradually became louder and louder. He soon realized, as he staggered mentally back into consciousness, that it was not one continuous sound, but individual beats like on a drum. Something was pounding furiously from somewhere in the waking world.

Edward could feel his breathing quicken as he orientated himself to his surroundings, like a creature hesitantly coming out of hibernation. He became aware of the numbing cold of his feet, which had slipped from the blanket warmth of the covers. And his body ached…but he didn't understand why.

He shifted his head to the side and felt neither the feather touch of a pillow nor the springy complaints from the mattress, but his head was pressed against something hard. Actually, his whole body was in an uncomfortable position.

Edward knew he was going to have to open his eyes and arrange the covers so he could sleep like a rock without feeling like he was lying on a rock. He wasn't going to have a full night's sleep after all.

And yet the thumping persisted.

Edward groggily opened his eyes and rubbed the remnants of sleep away from them. He scratched his chin while yawning and was confronted by an empty room of yawning darkness. It seemed that even the moon had set too.

Everything came flooding back into his mind with a similar intensity as the knowledge possessed by the Portal had unravelled inside of his brain. His jaw locked; he dug his automail into his flesh hand, clutching at the metal until it swelled with blood; the pain helped him to blindly focus on reality. He hadn't braced himself for the onslaught of emotion which was racing through his mind, galloping faster than horses. Nightmares…Al…rain …lullabies…coming home at last. So much had happened…and there was still so much that was still to come. His whole mind felt alive with the thrum of energy and adrenalin which was pumping through his veins.

How could he rest? How could he hope to have a peaceful night's sleep when his brother desperately needed him?

Sometimes the nightmares were not the worst part.

Sometimes it was remembering what he had forgotten, lost in dreams, upon waking up in reality that hurt more.

Realizing how weak and defenceless he was while asleep and how much research he could have achieved through the sunless hours was the worst part. Every time it was the worst part.

He shuddered as the wave of memories receded to haunt him for another time.

He reached forwards to pull the covers off his encased body before his hand hit the mattress. It wasn't springy. He gasped as he found himself sprawled out across the floor having fallen out of bed. Looking up to his ceiling, he felt himself shrink inside at how vast the walls were, looming all around him.

Where was Al?

Edward was answered by the sound again. With his senses alert, he cocked his head and listened out for the source of the noise; it was someone pounding at the front door. But who would be coming to them at this time in the night? The Rockbells had established their automail surgery away from the noise of the bustling village square to ensure their patients a peaceful recovery. It would take people from the village too long to come to them in a crisis.

Yet what if the crisis was from a client? Granny and Winry would not turn anyone away in their need of help.

However, a knot started to form in Edward's gut. What if the presence at the door wasn't a person? What if…it had come back to get him?

It was dark. There was neither the gentle light of the moon nor the glow of sunlight to guide him. Even the stars were frozen, hollow shells glittering in the sky.

What if Envy had come back to kill him? What if Envy had come back to take Al away from him again?

The house was silent. But Edward had become acutely aware of the dripping of melting snow draining from the pipes into a gutter; he could hear whispering wind; he could hear the floorboards creak beneath his feet. And the knocking on the front door echoed above them all.

Where was Al?

It felt like he was being engulfed by an abyss that blocked out all rational thought from his mind. That was what fear did, much like a hunted animal. Edward forgot about Winry and Granny asleep in the depths of the house. He was alone. He had to protect Al. They couldn't depend upon anyone else and he was the older brother – he was the one who had to do the protecting. He had to shoulder and burden and he couldn't complain about doing it. Of course he would be willing to do anything for those he loved…but did he have the strength to do that?

He was a coward, as distant from courage as those glittering stars were from the earth.

He shakily rose to his feet and tiptoed across the short gap to the door, pressing his body against the wall. He slinked across the hallway as subtle as an alley cat. Every step was like dragging his entire body and mind through a river of mud.

He had to…protect Al…

Edward clutched at the bannister when he had reached the top of the staircase. He didn't have any forms of defence and alchemy was not an option to consider. He needed to formulate a plan – anything – to keep Envy away from the house. What about the other Homunculi? There had to be at least several others who also bore the Ouroboros mark of the Devil.

He lost his footing and slipped on the first couple of steps. His vision flipped, but his hands were still gripping the bannister while his legs flailed uselessly beneath him. The hallway downstairs was a deluge of shadows, rippling tides of darkness. And Edward had to plunge into his depths. He couldn't do it.

He couldn't not do it.

The pounding on the door sounded louder and closer. Edward flinched to the noise.

Damn he was behaving like a child scared of the dark! A part of him wanted to jump down the rest of the flight of stairs and greet Envy with a punch from his fists, but a part of him wanted to equally cower in a corner and wait until the threat had passed. Dawn was still a long way off and with it hope had vanished too. He was breathing heavily as if he had just completed strenuous activity.

There was a part of him that was Edward Elric. And there was a part of him which was a stranger in his own body. A part of him which had allowed the fear to become a part of his mind. It had arrived with the grief, which had walked into his mind hand in hand ever since that day.

But Envy was the cause of it; the bomb which had detonated and destroyed everything that Edward had ever lived for. He had justice owed to him, whatever the hell that was.

He had had enough of cowering in fear against the demons inside of his mind. Edward wiped the sweat from his forehead. He was a grizzled veteran in his constant battle against fear. And this time, he wanted to win.

Bunching up his legs, he leapt into the river of shadows. He could feel the air rushing past his ears as he flew, if only for a second. For that second, he wasn't bound by anything. His golden eyes narrowed in determination. He was detached from the strings of reality which kept him bound to the ground. There was still a pounding at the door, which towered in front of him as menacing as the Gate.

However, he could hear the familiar pattering of rain. He could feel a wind beginning to rise. He wasn't in his pyjama top, but was wearing his red cloak. He hadn't worn the red cloak since the day of the funeral. Edward was surrounded by grey buildings with a grey sky backdrop. A storm was brewing. Edward frantically looked from side to side.

Where was Al?

And then he saw. Al…was being stabbed by Envy. Envy was cackling.

Edward screwed his eyes shut, wishing that he could block out the memory.

No…I won't let you. Edward thought before summoning the strength to speak the words: "No…I won't let you."

Edward reacted without thinking. He threw his arms out to form a protective barrier against the phantom enemy.

"I won't let you take him!" Edward cried. He could hear the heavy breathing of a presence in front of him, inches from his face, like a crocodile attracting fish with smiling jaws. He could hear the distinctive movement of arms moving out towards him. It was Envy. He had killed one. He had come to get the other Elric brother.

Edward wouldn't move. He would protect Al until his last breath. But instead of feeling a knife slide in-between his ribs, he felt powerful hands take him by the shoulder. He was pulled closer to that presence. The hands wrapped around his back, and he heard knees click as the presence dropped to the floor. Edward felt himself slip to the ground as well.

He could hear a pounding. But he realized…the sound wasn't coming from the door. It was coming from his heart thumping from its constricted cage inside of his chest cavity. There was no longer a sound at the door.

That meant…the presence had either left…or the door had opened and they were the ones embracing him in the darkness of the hallway. Edward could sense warmth. He buried himself deeper into it, inhaling deeply, as if the warmth could help settle his jittering soul.

"What the hell is going on down here?" Edward could hear Granny thundering down the steps as fast as her cranky body allowed her. She then stopped suddenly, "Oh my goodness, Ed…"

"Ed?" Winry shrieked from the top of the staircase and quickly joined Granny. He could hear her gasp.

Edward sighed, content to stay where he was. Al had protected him. But then he heard Al's voice: "Brother! I'm so sorry…I fell asleep watching Winry…what happened to you?"

Even Alphonse suddenly paused, and he was silent too.

Wait…if Al wasn't holding Edward, then who was?

He slowly opened his eyes, shrinking back against the bright light shining in the hallway which Granny must have turned on. The first thing that caught his eye was the brightest colour of blue he had ever seen. His whole line of vision was filled with blue, like it was smothering him. The pressure against his back lessened as he fidgeted a little, but they still held him firmly.

Edward lifted his gaze to the figure's face. Squinting in the bright light, he saw a kind face looking back at him. Edward was comforted by the round, considerate eyes which met his. Those eyes weren't judging him; they only wanted the pain to leave Edward be for the rest of the night, for the rest of eternity.

Mum?

But as his eyes adjusted to the disorientating brightness, he saw that the jawline was different; the hair colour was honey instead of mousy brown. The eyes were chocolate-coloured instead of a sea-green like mum. This person was not Trisha Elric.

It was Hawkeye wrapping him in her warm embrace. And the firm hand of assurance pressing on his shoulder belonged to Mustang.

"Typical of you to extend an elaborate greeting to us, Fullmetal," the colonel said. His banter made the house feel less threatening, like a stifling pressure was being sifted out of the air.

"You shouldn't have scared me like that, bastard," Edward croaked, the words vanishing into thin air as soon as they left his lips. "Are they safe?"

"They are. You did more than enough Ed…" That was Hawkeye, who stated it as a matter of fact. Edward's tense body started to relax.

They were safe…

Edward hadn't run away. He had been willing to fight.

Perhaps he was coming braver, ever so gradually.

And he wasn't a coward, but brave like his brother.

Roy had not expected the journey from Central to be so smooth and that he would arrive at the Rockbell's house in Resembool at four in the morning. He had caught the train from Central to East City with his bag packed with piles of his ignition gloves, but he had forgotten everything else. There were matters far more important than forgetting to pack a change of clothes.

The train from East City had been due to depart at seven in the morning, and even though he had been exhausted after getting off the first train, Roy knew he couldn't be delayed, if only for several hours. After the conductor saw a colonel from the Fuhrer's branch in Central needing immediate access to a train to Resembool granted him and Hawkeye exclusive access to the train hours before it was due to depart.

But still, Roy couldn't wait until the morning. His mind was swimming in restlessness. He had a foreboding sense eating away inside, the feeling that time was running out and he was helpless to stop the ticking clock that was Edward's fragile state of mind.

But he hadn't taken the initiative. He had stayed cooped up in Central running into dead ends on this investigation while Fullmetal regressed further into his wall of grief. And it had taken a desperate phone call from his childhood friend to summon Roy to their hometown. It was strange to imagine that the independent Elric brothers and their fiery mechanic could have come from such rural beginnings.

He hadn't gone to Resembool since he had first recruited Ed in the aftermath of Ishval, like only devastation could summon him to the tranquil village.

There was no time to lose.

The train journeys had been a blur between dreamless sleep and one-word conversations with Hawkeye. In the last hour of their train ride to Resembool, he couldn't concentrate, and desperately sipped at coffee and begged for the caffeine to work its silent magic. However, the adrenalin helped his mind to focus, his leg muscles twitching in impatience. But he was beyond the point of exhaustion, and he felt faint like it was an illness that not even caffeine could cure. He reluctantly entered a troubled, hazy sleep where he could dreamt of the pattering of rain and ravens cawing as gunfire sent them wheeling away into the sky.

He had awoken to the sharp call of Hawkeye. Roy had noticed that he could no longer hear the distinct clattering of the train as it slugged along the railway and his body wasn't being jogged as it would when the train would turn a corner. They had arrived. The colonel had glanced over at Hawkeye and she had nodded in response before he led her off the train.

Snow was falling, shivering his body and causing his breath to swirl in front of him like steam.

In Central, he was lucky if he could piece together a constellation in the jigsaw which was the sky. He couldn't believe that he would be able to see the entire network of constellations beaming across the sky like lighthouses shining across oceans. The moon was the colour of a dove's feather over the horizon, barely minutes from setting.

And he was shocked by the pitch black that swamped around him. In Central, the city lights were always shining, as if its inhabitants kept the city alight to fight their fear of the night together as a collective unit.

Here in the countryside, he was strangely missing the constant bustle of Central Command.

His hands slipped into his pocket, where he could feel his pocket watch pressing coldly against his palm and his wallet stuffed full of loose change he never bothered to exchange. And then his fingers brushed over the fabric, and he brought his gloves smoothly out of his pocket. He took one glove and let his right hand wrap around the fabric. Roy clicked his fingers lightly as a thin streak of flame danced about him like a witchlight. His feet matched the pace of Hawkeye's, and together they started on their ascent up the hill…

"We're here," Roy commented as he allowed his light to snuff out. He remembered the path to the house based on his memory of last coming here rather than relying on his sight. The stars were not bright enough to light their path. When his boots came into contact with a squeaky step Roy knew that he was seconds away from the people who needed him the most.

Roy could make out his ghostly reflection from the glass panels of the windows which were like shards of ice.

He pounded on the door. Hawkeye fired him a death glare and he shrugged his shoulders before beginning to tap lightly. But none of the lights in the house turned on. He wanted to call out a greeting to the lightless windows, but that would be disconcerting. Roy's eyes flickered from one window to the next, but there was no way that he could get into the house since all of the windows were closed. It was as though the house spoke the beliefs of the Rockbells and Elrics with this gesture: block the fear out by barring it off from the world.

Let no emotion in and let no emotion out. Bear the weight of reality by yourself until it overwhelmed you.

Fullmetal…Roy's thoughts whispered, and he started to bang on the door with an intensity he had not felt at four in the morning before. It was like an urge had suddenly dominated his thoughts – and that was to protect Edward and Winry where Al couldn't do that anymore.

There was still no answer. Roy stopped and realized that the door was actually open. He scowled as he saw that Hawkeye had bothered to turn the handle of the door and that it had been unlocked from the start. Roy Mustang, the valiant hero, was unable to open a front door; he was off to a brilliant start.

However, the sarcasm melted away from his mind as he entered the hallway to the Rockbell house. The air was heavy and it smelt of mould and grease and the extinguished ash of a fire. But something moved in the corner of his vision, blending into shadow, faster than a bolt of lightning. It was the movement of a terrified and feral animal from up above him. He first thought that it was a fly or a moth, but the house was so dark that the movement could have come from a staircase he couldn't even see.

At that moment, some button was pressed in Roy's mind, some switch pulled, and the caffeine finally kicked in. All of his senses were alert, and his mind was humming with energy. He was a soldier; he knew how to protect his comrades. But his body wasn't braced for that. The air went…still.

Like a lion, Edward Elric pounced in a flash of golden hair from the shadows and landed nimbly in front of the military pair. His eyes were wide with fear, as if he was driven by pure instinct, and he seemed smaller, more vulnerable, than Roy had ever seen him. However when Roy searched those troubled golden pools in a sign of reassurance of comfort, Roy realized that he was not being noticed. Fullmetal was seeing something that nobody else could see, a recluse lost within his heart.

"No…I won't let you." Ed's voice was hardly louder than a whisper. His head was shaking adamantly, as if he was trying to shake off the nightmare.

Fullmetal threw his arms out to the side. His automail prosthetic had a silver glint to it – Edward had been refitted with new automail. And Roy could tell that in the sunlight, the craft put into it would reflect stunningly on all those who saw the limb.

"I won't let you take him!" Edward cried, his expression contorted and strained.

Next to him, Hawkeye moved closer to him and pulled Edward in an embrace. Without thinking, Roy followed her and placed his hands on Edward's shoulders, which were nothing more than skin or bone. They stayed like that, silent except for their slow breathing. He couldn't see the Lieutenant's face, but he saw Ed's. His eyes widened in surprise, but gained clarity to them, as if he knew that he was not alone in his pain.

Roy was so glad that he had come.

Here we are back with a longer update! Illness has paid a visit to me this week and I'm still trying to kick it out, but hopefully in the next couple of days it'll be gone for good. The joys of winter XD

I hope you enjoy this chapter (I loved writing the parental fluff :3) and I'll see you with the next update on Friday. As always, thank you for your support with this story ^^

~ Dawn