Chapter 11

The abundance of energy that was always present in the form of their children plunged the house into an eerie stillness, which only grew dire as the days stretched.

Effie had been restless and anxious for the past two days especially since Haymitch had stopped her from calling Felix the first night home. It was not something he wanted but something that he had to do. With Tristan acting the way he was, her phone call would only make the situation worse.

"If Felix's managed to calm him down, you calling him will only remind the boy that we're not there," he had tried to explain.

She had taken to moving from one room to the other, never stopping long enough to stay. He found her in the children's room that night, sitting at the edge of Ethan's small bed with his pillow pressed to her face.

"You gotta eat somethin'," he entered the room.

Haymitch took the pillow away to give her a plate of sandwiches. She pushed his hand away, turning down the food but she gladly accepted the cup of tea he had brought with him.

"I miss them," she whispered, sipping on her piping hot tea.

He missed them just as much. It was not easy for him but admittedly, Effie was having it worst and it was difficult for him to see her this way. For the past weeks, over five days each week, he had learnt to live on his own without his children but Effie had never been apart from them, not even for a single day since they brought the boys home from the hospital after they were born.

"Not eating isn't gonna help much," he said flatly, trying to get under her skin.

If she was expecting him to agree with her, she was mistaken. Her eyes flashed at his lack of empathy and Haymitch sat back, feeling triumphant. A part of him knew that she wanted to vent in anger and given the right moment, she would. Perhaps this was it. He waited for that burst of irritation but Effie merely pursed her lips.

"I'm not going to argue with you," she said simply. "I know what you're trying to do. You want me to rage and fight back. You want to see me with some spark instead of sitting here missing them but I won't do it. You're not going to bear the brunt of it because this isn't your fault. I'm angry and I'm frustrated, but I won't take it out on you even if that's what you want me to do. I'm not giving up, I'll fight but not with you - we'll do this together."

Haymitch watched her put a lid on her emotions and buried it deep inside of her. He thought she might explode so he gathered her in his arms and held her tight. That must have been what she needed. His touch became her undoing as Effie slumped against him, giving in to her exhaustion and leaning on him for strength.

"You said… You said you wouldn't let him harm our family," she mumbled against his neck. "You promised me that when we found out what Elias wanted with me."

"I won't let him," he told her firmly. Haymitch cradled the back of her head as he placed his lips next to her ear. "Nothing's going to happen to us."

"But it has, Haymitch. He's taken our babies away."

He growled under his breath but placed a finger under her chin to tilt her head up.

"Can't think that way, sweetheart, you can't let him get to you like that," he said. He maneuvered them so they were lying on the children's bed, stretched against each other with their feet dangling at the edge of the short bed. "Keep your chins up."

Effie was quiet as she stared at the ceiling. Her hand was on his chest, feeling the steady beating of his heart.

"Do you remember when Ethan was two…? He hugged Dasher so tight around its neck that the goose pecked him on his shoulder."

There was a low rumble as Haymitch began to chuckle at that memory.

"Yeah," he nodded, propping his head on his arm. "I remember that. That's how we came up with the name – the goose dashed out from his grasp. It must have been what sealed that friendship. Ethan was bleeding, wasn't he? But he wouldn't let you tend to it. I remember you shoutin' his name, calling him back but he just kept runnin' after the damn goose."

She laughed and Haymitch was glad for that no matter how brief it was. Effie was recounting old tales trying to hold on to the sweet memories of her children. There was a nagging feeling at the back of his mind, a voice whispering to his consciousness that Effie was making it seem as though they had completely lost their children but Haymitch knew that was how she was trying to cope with the feeling of missing them, and who was he to say otherwise?

"He's always keeping me on my toes. You asked once which child would most likely break his arm falling from a tree and my money is on Ethan."

"I never take you for the betting kind but," he lifted his head to look at her, "I'm surprised he hasn't broken any bones yet."

"Hopefully never," Effie grimaced. "Tristan… He would crawl over to you and lay his head on your chest if he's upset. It's adorable how attached he is to you."

"Upset?" he snickered. "You mean whenever he wants to go to sleep, don't you? He's got to break that habit or he'll have trouble sleeping with girls later."

"Haymitch! He's still too young for you to be thinking that far ahead."

XxX

Haymitch stirred when he felt her thumb stroking repetitively against his cheek. He blinked his eyes open, taking in his surroundings. They had fallen asleep on the children's bed and his body was paying the price that morning. His legs were aching and his back needed a good stretch.

"Did you sleep at all?" he asked, bringing her hand away from his face to lace their fingers together.

Effie adjusted her position, snuggling further against him and draped her arm over his mid-section.

"I woke up before you did and then I realized that I don't have to get the children ready for breakfast," she chuckled bitterly. "They're not here."

"Sweetheart…" he sighed, tiredly. He cupped her face, tilting her head up to look at him. Haymitch brushed her hair away and kissed her lips, once, twice until her eyes fluttered close.

"I don't know how you did it when you were in Twelve," she wondered, mostly to herself. "It's so quiet without them."

Haymitch had no desire to revisit the overbearing feeling of loneliness that he felt without Effie and his children each time he returned to Twelve so he bunched the edges of her thin shirt in his hand and pushed them up, exposing the skin of her stomach. He kissed and nibbled, swirled his tongue around her belly button and licked her skin until she started squirming.

"You're trying to distract me," she pointed out, falling back on the bed as he towered above her.

Without answering, Haymitch rubbed his rough stubble on her stomach, watching it contract in response. Effie pushed his head away, laughing uncontrollably. She was always so ticklish.

"Stop," she gasped. "Stop it, Haymitch!"

He did as she asked and sat on his knees. There was an unmistakable fondness in her blue eyes as she stared up at him, chest heaving in an attempt to get her breathing under control.

"Come on," he pulled her up, grinning. "We've got things to do."

He was already at the door of the children's room when Effie pulled him back.

"Thank you," she smothered him with a kiss, "for making me laugh… especially when things are so bleak."

Haymitch blinked; his mouth slightly agape in confusion. He had lost count the number of times he made someone laugh because of his drunken and foolish behavior, but this was different. He made her feel better and it made him proud.

He carried that feeling even as he was showering only to have it shattered at the sound of a distressed cry. He wrapped a towel hastily around his waist and rushed out, grabbing a knife without a thought from the kitchen.

"Effie? Effs!" he shouted for her, eyes wild as it darted around the house. "Sweetheart?"

If there was someone in the house, his shouting would have drawn their attention away from her towards him which was what he wanted. But his worries were unfounded. There were no intruders, only Effie kneeling on the living room floor with the morning paper clutched in her hands.

"What the hell?" he growled, discarding the knife away. "Get off the floor – what are you doing there?"

Effie turned, looking a little hysterical. A sinking feeling settled at the pit of his stomach. His eyes dropped to the paper.

"How did they know?" she waved the paper. "How else would they know if Elias had not leaked it to the press? That bastard!"

Haymitch snatched the paper from her. He could barely conceal the frown when he saw the headline – Custodial battle of the Abernathy Twins: How will it end?

The front page ran a photo of their family taken during one of their visits to the City back when Haymitch was still working against the law. He read the first paragraph which gave a background of them losing custody of the boys pending an investigation and then crushed the paper, throwing it into the bin without bothering to read any further.

"Everyone will know!" she shrieked, rounding on him. "Did you read what it says? They'll think we're terrible parents - that I'm a terrible mother!"

"I've said it before, Effs – don't bother about what people think."

What he said went over her head. She ignored it altogether as she went into another frantic tirade.

"Why else would a mother lose custody of her children unless she's bad at her job? This is horrible – they've taken my babies away and now they're telling lies!" she covered her face with her hand. "What if this will affect what the Court thinks?! We're not bad people, Haymitch. We're just… I'm not a bad mother. I'm not a bad mother. We're not horrible parents."

"That's enough," he raised his voice to get her attention.

He was losing his patience. Having to hear the words "horrible" and "parents" in the same sentence especially since it was coming out of her mouth made him want to claw at his throat. How many times had he doubted his parenting abilities? How many times had he remained awake at night wondering if he was doing a good job with the boys and if he would be a good father? Too many times.

"Enough, Effie! You need to shut - " He breathed in deeply. "You're not… You're not a bad mother or a terrible mother. You're far from that."

Effie kept her eyes on him as he came to a stand in front of her.

"Those people … They don't know you like I do. They never saw you with the boys or saw how you are with them but I did. And from what I saw, sweetheart, you're pretty damn good at being a mother," his lips curled into a smile. "I don't say it often but I'm glad… I'm glad it's you – you're the only person I want to be the mother to my children."

He heard her sharp intake of breath and saw the surprise on her face before she closed the distance between them, circling her arms around his neck to hug him fiercely. He was right, of course, he was. People would always form assumptions but it was his opinion that matter the most to her - only his.

"You've got nothin' to worry 'bout," he assured her.

Effie nodded but didn't let go of him.

"You're not a drunk," she spoke with her lip next to his ear. Effie ran her fingers through his hair. "You've changed so much and you're so good to them. They're so, so very lucky to have you as their father, to have you love them without condition, and I'm proud of you."

I'm back! I was having some writer's block but hopefully that's behind me now.

I know this chapter is mainly focused on Haymitch and Effie, and I wanted to write them dealing with not having their children around. Next week we'll see them answering some questions for the twin's custody. Also, the newspaper article might have some impact on them – so stay tune! See you next week!

Please leave a review and let me know your thoughts. Thanks so much for reading!